It was another lazy Sunday afternoon at the Trailer Park district in Stilwater. Just as usual, at that hour of the day, the residents of that 'charming' neighborhood gathered at the most quiet places (under the bridges or behind the abandoned tunnel constructions) to get wasted and avoid the cops.
Today, however, a half submerged purple Bootlegger made one think that a drunken member of the Third Street Saints might just be amongst all those low lives, in equal need of oblivion.
The Boss laid limply on the ground, she didn't recall how she managed to jump off that car before it went in the water. To be honest, she didn't see any water to begin with.
She groaned and placed her arm over her eyes to cover the sun. It was annoyingly hot and so was her booze, but it seemed like she was already too wasted to care.
In her pocket, her phone buzzed again and again, until she finally decided to pick it up.
'Holla Johnny Gat.' She answered the phone, grabbing it upside down.
The voice on the other side wasn't happy:
'Good, you're alive. Boss? Me and Pierce were waiting for you for more than an hour and a half!'
Gat heard a lazy hiccup on the other side of the line and a muffled noise as she turned the thing the good side up.
'Que te passa?'
Gat claimed he didn't speak any Spanish, but seemed to forget it from time to time, that is, when The Boss was either too pissed off or drunk and there was no other way to communicate with her.
'Que me passa?! Nos dejaste chiflando en la loma! * Next time let us at least know if you want to skip a mission to get wasted!'
'No me digas lo que tengo que hacer!**' She grunted, voice dragging. 'Listen Gat, you're my friend but If I want to get drunk, I will get drunk man.'
Gat sighed hopelessly. He didn't know what happened, but he knew how The Boss had her random blues. Yet much like to a guy, she would never talk about it. When she needed his company and support she would come for him, for them to go hit the stunts or get even drunker together.
'Never mind. I'll call you later.'
'Oops...' She said as the phone slipped off her hand and landed on the ground, out of reach.'Oooh. Fuck….'
Too drunk to catch.
Meanwhile, Carlos was driving his purple Compton around to see if he could find The Boss, and slowed down upon recognizing the gang leader lying on the grass without the slightest care in the world.
'There you are! What the hell are you doing here all by yourself? Are you hurt?'
'You know Carlos it's funny that you ask because I was passing by and then I decided to stop right here (The Boss pointed at the ground) and enjoy the view...' She pointed again but to the horizon this time, a bottle of whisky in the same hand, her accent changing from the effort to speak straight. 'The sun setting you see... Wow. Am I driving?'
A brief silence followed. Carlos frowned and kneeled down by her side.
'Since when do you have a British accent? Boss. It's stupid to be hanging around like this on your own and drunk after what happened with the Ronin. Don't you want me to drive you home?'
Why everyone keeps saying that? I'm fiiiine here. Nobody is moving me!'
'Ok, ok.' He answered, changing tactics. 'Can I crash here with you and have some whisky then?'
She poked his chest with one unsteady finger in an approving way.
'That's my boy! Here...'
She handed him the bottle and rested her head backwards on the grass, watching the sky, that was now shaking like a boat, from side to side.
She put her both hands on the floor like she was going to stand up but ended up tripping down over Carlos, landing the upper side of her body over his legs. She didn't seem to be aware of the fall and started to chat:
'You know who called me today?' The Boss sighed heavily and bent one of his legs up so she could lean her head against it, as casually as if it was a pillow, concentrating on what she had to say.
'Hmm... no?'
'A relative. A close relative. She kept mumbling like was speaking to herself. ' How the fuck did he find me? I have no idea. It's not like I'm in the fucking book... He asked me for money, Godamn. '
She turned over, facing up now and concluded, like she there was a need to justify something:
'I gave him. I mean, I have loads of money, not going to make a difference. But not only he took the cash, the fucker also... Called the cops. I mean, he set me up, so I... Ah, never mind. I feel like shit, like shit! '
'Sorry Boss. That's why you're drinking so much?'
She nodded and chuckled in a sad, desperate drunken way.
'Yup. You got it right, Carlos. You always get me! You're a kind, smart kid... You're going to become a good Lieutenant, the best the Saints have ever seen...' She tapped the side of his leg friendly.
'Will you cut it off and stop calling me "kid"? I'm only two years younger than you.' He replied.
'Sorry.'
'Boss, I know I don't have the right to ask you this, but... Was this close relative by any chance, your father?'
She jumped upon hearing that word and deliberately changed the subject with all the subtlety of someone who is drunk off her ass.
'Can you believe Troy was a cop?'
'You don't have to tell me about it. I'm sorry I asked.' He put one comforting hand on her shoulder, and changed the subject. 'Let's talk about work. So, I did like you asked: I have one of my boys following Donnie, he works almost exclusively to the Brotherhood. He looks after Maero's trucks, I think he is is almost a full memb…! '
Carlos stopped, cuz now The Boss was wiping fiercely, covering her face in shame. Her drunk, piercing sobs were hilarious.
However, Carlos seemed affected by it:
'Oh my God. Don't cry Boss...!' He put both hands on her shoulders, not knowing what to say.
'It's just that this story you were telling me about Donnie was so sad...'
He hugged her rubbing a hand on her back to comfort, knowing this was of course about the father thing.
'It's ok.'
'I mean, I didn't get it exactly, but it was freaking sad... Holy
shit...'
'I know...! Don't worry.'
The Boss hugged him back and her gaze followed the direction of Carlos' eyes, back and forth.
'Were you staring at my boobs Carlos?' She asked simply, as if this was a question like any other.
'God, no...!' He blushed and looked away, although yes, he kind of was. Her shirt was slipping and she was too drunk to notice it.
'You know something?' She replied, forgetting her sorrow promptly and managing to get up this time. 'I feel like dancing.'
She took two steps sideways and was about to stumble, but Carlos raised and got her just as she was about to fall.
'Carlito... Let's dance together. I know a song...'
She put one hand on his shoulder and started to move around clumsily, and he tried to follow, thinking how good it was to be this close to her, even if right now she smelled like a Gas Truck.
'Wait... I know one...' She passed an arm around his neck, and got her face closer to speak, then dragged her drunken voice along. 'We're talking away... I dunno... What I have to say... Shit, what was next?' The Boss scratched her head.
Carlos chuckled, a wave of sweet feelings washing over as he listened to her sing clumsily. It was so good to see her guard down like this. For once, he didn't have to show so much reserve and allowed himself to express a bit of this. 'Tomorrow, she'll probably forget about it...'
'...I'll say it anyway.' He completed with his accented voice, poking her nose, in a patient teacher attitude, as he started to move along and dance together.'
'Tomorrow is another day to find you...' She started, and they continued in unison, out of tune and out of rhythm. 'Shying away. I'll be coming for you love ok.'
They looked at each other as they sang, united by the complicity of this singing along, and The Boss smiled. The tender smile she kept for him and that he never saw her using with anybody else.
Carlos remained silent and kept dancing, slowly.
'This is good...' She stated lazily as she rested her head comfortably on his shoulder, sucking on a cig, too wasted to get the ambiguity of this gesture.
His heart raced a bit from this closeness, this was perfect timing to tell her how he felt. So he inhaled deeply, gathering all his courage and started:
'There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while now...' He started, heart racing and a knot in his stomach.
'Really? Well, why don't you?'
'It's not easy. You're The Boss.'
'It's me Carlos. You can tell me anything.'
'Anything? You wouldn't treat me different?'
'Come on.' She chuckled indulgently, and gestured, not aware that that cigarette now flew from her hand. 'Of course I wouldn't. Don't be afraid to tell. Did you mess up about the Brotherhood?'
'It has nothing to do with business. It's personal...'
He was about to continue, but a sound vibration against his skin made any further word pointless.
The Boss was snoring, wide mouthed on his shoulder.
'Really?! Right now?' He closed his eyes and bobbed his head hopelessly, then sighed and caressed her hair, pressing her closer to him one more time before carrying her and heading towards the car. 'Time to get you back to the hideout, you crazy, crazy chick...'
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It was around 10 pm when the car stopped at the front of the old mission house.
There were just a few Saints hanging here and there, most of the crew was out due to an attack to reclaim Frat Row, that was now under the Saint's control. Since The Boss didn't show, Pierce went with his men while the others waited for him to return.
Shaundi and Johnny were entertaining themselves by playing hacky sack outside with some other Saints, when Carlos exited the car, bringing their still wasted leader by the waist.
'Hi!' She waved as she passed by, her look lingering on Gat. 'Hey. You look good Johnny, you've been working out?'
Gat shook his head but still found this remark to be flattering, and smiled.
' If you say so baby.' He joked. 'It's been a while since I saw you this wasted.'
But Carlos' voice groaned, pulling her away:
'Come on Boss, it's cold, let's get you inside.'
'Great, she spends the whole afternoon with me and blacks out when I am about to tell her how I feel, but give her five seconds with Johnny and... there you go.'
They slowly made their way inside, going down the stairs.
Finally, they arrived at her bedroom and she threw herself in bed, legs hanging outside.
'Ouch.' She said, after a delay.
'Stay still, let me take off your shoes.' He said, a bit pissed off.
He kneeled to undo the laces and removed the purple converses, placing them on the floor.
'Did I piss you off Carlos?' She asked, muffled, as her head sunk on the pillow.
She heard him sigh:
'Hmph, never mind...' He pushed her legs inside the bed, she was ready to sleep it off. 'Well... There you go, all set.'
He raised and was heading for the door, but The Boss called him:
'Carlito... Do you really have to go?'
He halted, thinking just how easy it was for her to make him stop been mad, and turned on his heels, sitting on the edge of the bed.
'I can stay if you want...' He smiled, happy that she wanted to spend more time together.
She looked up, to his surprise looking all sweet and vulnerable:
'Thanks. You know, I really like you Carlos... This is no drunk talk.'
And with that she grabbed his hand, closing her eyes.
He turned and pulled the armchair that was next to the bed, sitting down and placing it close enough so she could still reach his hand.
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'Damn man, play it cool. She is drunk. Fucking drunk.' He shifted a bit in the armchair, against his will, a part of himself was not listening to this inner dialog neither helping him sitting comfortably. 'Yeah it's just my body that is craving for it, that is all. Lord, her legs are coming out of the cover. The Boss' skin looks like whipped cream. Don't look! Those thighs. Damn. Sooo soft... Fuck! Stop it. She is your Boss asshole.'
He squinted his eyes shut to avoid staring again.
'Carlos?'
'Yup Boss?'
'Come here'. She shifted over to the other side of the bed, making space for him to lie down.
'Uh, why? I mean, I am good here.'
'Just for a bit'.
'Ok...' He replied unsurely and laid on his back carefully over the sheets, standing still like a wooden board.
He could hear The Boss breathing and with his side vision noticed that she was staring at him, so he did his best to not stare back, focusing with all might on the ceiling in order not to get too aroused by the situation.
He waited for what seemed to be an eternity, her breath getting progressively closer, so much she was now nudging his neck with her lips.
'Woah... Wha... Boss?' He chuckled nervously.
'What?' She asked innocently, raising her head. 'You don't like it?'
'You don't get it, I do, believe me, it's just that... Oh my God...!'
He interrupted himself as The Boss passed one leg over his body, climbing on top of him and gently rubbing the upper part of her body against his chest.
He could feel the skin of her inner tights brushing against the fabric of his pants, her hands traveling his torso and then starting to pull his tank top off... He felt like he was been tased with a stun gun, but still manage to keep it together, arms raised parallel to her body with palms open, to avoid the touching.
'I am probably going to shoot myself later for saying this but...I feel I am taking advantage of you. You're so fucking drunk.' He said, breathing heavily.
She grinned and looked at him meaningfully, her palms sliding up and down his arms.
'You're totally...!'
'Nah, I'm sobber now. I liked the way we danced tonight. I really want this to happen.'
Their mouths were just a few inches apart now...
'Well, in that case...' He replied, leaning closer. 'Come here.'
Carlos had to open his eyes as the delicious mirage vanished. A pain on his elbow just woke him up.
Ouch. His arm was still hanging from the chair to the bed, where it stood all night.
On the other side of the bed, The Boss snorted, pilow over her head.
He knew very well what was going on, they were on this dreaded place called the friendzone.
'I definitely need to do something fast!' Carlos thought.
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Later that day...
Carlos invited The Boss to check their new crib at the Frat, that used to be Samedi's territory.
After looking at what had to be done to fix the place, The Boss wanted to smoke and both went outside.
He sat a bit far away in a rock on the ground, she stood against the closed door watching the last rays of sun sink into the line of the horizon. It got dark pretty quickly. She noticed Carlos barely spoke the whole time they were together. This was unusual as he used to babble on always. It was like he seemed sad or worried about something.
'Aren't you quiet today. Something bugging you?'
He looked up to her, smiling a bit.
'I'm sorry. It's nothing...'
'Hmm...' She raised her eyebrow to show she was not convinced. 'Come on. You can tell the boss stuff too you know.' She put a hand on his shoulder, in her tomboyish friendly manner. 'What's wrong? Money? Girls?' She took a shot.
'Actually yes...' He nodded while looking far ahead. Then he turned his eyes to her. 'Girls.' He said carefully. 'You are good.'
'When it comes to my Lieutenants I am glad to help.' She stated proudly.
'Come on Carlos. You have a big position in the gang, you are all cute and such a nice guy. Chicks must be lining up? If they are not, I can bring you to Tee N Ay with me next time. Maybe some strippers would do you good.'
It was the first time he heard her talk about him as a man, so he was paying a lot of attention. She actually thought he was cute then?
'No problem getting laid.' He said, smiling at how simplistic The Boss was to judge things. ' It just... Well, I like this girl. But she sees me as a friend. I don't know how to reach for her.'
'Ah, you are in the Friendzone.' The Boss finished her cig and they entered the crib. 'There is one way only to leave it, you gotta say it fast and you gotta say it blunt. You know, there is too much grey area already.'
As they spoke she stumbled down an old mattress on the floor, Carlos landing indecently on top of her. The Boss had to gasp as she felt his weight on her. He didn't land his legs between hers, but she could feel something scandalously hard against her hip.
'Que...?!' She growled, but was quickly muffled as he kissed her.
He brought the other one to her jaw and deepened his kiss, tongue playing fiercely and tenderly against hers.
She couldn't be more surprised. What the hell happened to him? Even though she hated to admit, under all the anger some arousal was starting to make its way. She blushed, wondering if he could see it?
We whispered as he perceived a the obvious pleasure in her expression: 'You want it too...?'
She didn't answer and all he could hear was her rapid breath. Her eyes traveled back and forth from his lips to his eyes. She was so pretty like this. Hair all messed up, cheeks flushed and lips swollen from all his kissing.
He whispered again: 'You are so beautiful...'
'Boss...' He started, gently pushing the messy hair out of her face, staring into her eyes. 'I know I should have told you this before. The words just escaped him. He needed to tell her everything. 'From the first day we met in prison, I've never really stopped thinking about you. The better i got to know you, the more I dug you. You are the most incredible woman I've ever seen, you have the courage i always wanted to have. Do you know how I feel every time you smile at me? He stroke her face gently. 'Can't you see that? I've been loving you all this time. You don't have the slightest clue of what you really mean to me. I want to tell you...'
She widened her eyes and seemed more startled at this words than by anything he did before, as in every time a guy popped the 'L' word.
'Let me out.' She commanded simply but very urgently.
He agreed, because now, for the first time, it seemed like she didn't want it, and humbly got off her.
As soon as she walked out the door, he got it.
'What the hell did I just do? It seemed like such a good idea 3 minutes ago! Well, it doesn't seem like such a good idea now. Fuck.´
An hour later he was sitting in the stone steps next to the nearest gas station, a bottle of 40 oz to keep him company. He sent her a text message to apologize for his behavior, she didn't answer. He checked his phone a dozen times during the day. Nothing.
He wanted her to see him in a different light. Well, that he managed. The former relationship they had went down the drain.
He was so frustrated by the way things were before, but now he wished he could just hop back right into it, the idea of ruining their friendship and the special affection she had for him was hard to accept.
And now all the reason was coming back. Why did he let such an unreliable source like a fortune teller and a drunk friend talk him into this madness?
He got her advice all wrong and crossed a line. She was going to kick him out the Saints.
Carlos shook his head sadly and took another swig. Thinking was way too painful right now. Best to be drunk to deal with the blow.
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The Boss drove away from the crib, heading to the Hideout.
Her mind was racing.
Who the fuck did he think he was ?
She knew he was immature, recruiting him as a Lieutenant was obviously a huge mistake.
She remembered how he would say he loved her and it made her stomach flip.
She muttered to herself while impatiently bypassing a red light.
' Damn.' She hit her hand on the wheel. I liked Carlos. But there is only one option now. To kick him out, or at least downgrade him to make him understand that this was a fucking gang and not in a godamn high school.'
She was driving fast, it kinda helped relieving the tension, but had to stop as a huge truck was in front of her now, no space to bypass him.
She couldn't help but remembering the scene in the crib and felt a rush of excitement.
He was a good kisser, she would have never guessed. He always seemed... So harmless. No way to see this one coming. It was as unlikely as bumping into Santa on a strip joint.
The Boss sighed, lowering her head and touching the wheel with her forehead. The shock was fading and she started to realize that her hear was beating fast, in a strong mix of fear and this other, unknown feeling she couldn't name.
'How could it feel so good... What would have happened if I didn't tell him to stop?'
They would probably have... Yeah, right there in that mattress...
Carlos would then be naked on top of her, his breath quick like before... Except this time she would caress him too, hands running up and down his back, that must've been the same pale, even tone of his face... She would feel that sensation she had in her chest now, again but much stronger...
'You are drifting from the point here!' She thought. 'He crossed a line, to say the least.'
But the flashbacks were there and she couldn't stop them. His breath hard and fast, showing how much he desired that moment, the passionate look in his eyes...
Panicked, she instinctively grabbed her phone.
'Shaundi? Yeah I think need you right now...'
There was a muffled sound of electronic music and people laughing on the other side, Shaundi sounded less than eager to move from where she was.
'Hey Boss. I'm in a party downtown. Is this urgent?'
'Not really... Well... I was at looking at the flat we just bought at the Frat, and Carlos made a move on me...'
'What?! Where are you?'
'Chinatown.'
'Stay where you are.' She seemed excited. 'I'm coming.'
'No. I will meet you there. It's nothing worth leaving your party for...'
'Are you kidding?' She said. 'This is huge! I will wait for you outside.' And she gave her the address.
The Boss put it on her GPS, kind of regretting she told someone, but it was to late. She needed to talk it out anyway.
20 minutes later they were sitting on a door step too but it was of some guy's kitchen's, a bottle of wine between them.
'It's nothing really. I dunno why I am telling you this...' The Boss started, a bit embarrassed. 'How should I punish him for that? He is messing with me right? You know how hard it is to be on the lead when you are a broad. If I let it pass it will blow the respect the guys have for me and...'
'Hold on.' Shaundi grabbed her wrist to stop her from sipping her wine too fast like she was doing since they got there. 'What exactly did he do, Boss?'
'Well, he was asking me for advice on women. I just told him he should be more, you know, bold... The next thing I can remember, he is on top of me, and kissing me.'
Shaundi sighed heavily, in a sort of melancholic delight. 'Good times.' She stated grinning broadly. 'You are definitively teaching this kid something...'
'Wha? What the fuck is wrong with you?' The Boss spat back, looking annoyed.
Shaundi turned her face to her, and incarnating the big sister, replied:
'No. What the fuck is wrong with you?'
'What is that supposed to mean?' The Boss asked, pointing at her in threatening way.
'What is it? You didn't like the kiss?'
She was surprised by this question and tried to find something to say.
'Why... Why are you telling me this?'
'He doesn't know how to kiss, is that it?' She seemed disappointed. 'Once I dated this guy, Fernando. He was my dorm neighbor. Worst kisser ever. He would play helicopter on my mouth, it was like was getting my teeth cleaned.'
The Boss had to laugh at her for a moment, lighting up a bit.
'No... It was not like this at all. Her vowels were lagging a bit, the wine was kicking in. 'He was a pretty decent kisser. A very good one actually.'
'Aha!' Shaundi smiled.
'That is not the point. She regained a bit of her seriousness. 'This kid crossed a fucking line and you know it.'
'I know.' She nodded. 'But it was bound to happen sooner or latter. Come on Boss, a blind guy can see it, he is crazy about you.'
The boss put her glass down.
'What the fuck are you saying this for?'
'Don't tell me you never saw it.'
'Nope. And I wished he never told me. Now I get it, that's why I bumped into him sleeping in a chair in my bedroom that night, when I passed out.'
'How did you know he was there if you passed out?'
'I woke up in the middle of the night to toss cookies.'
'Classy. Anyway, everybody notices it… And if you want my opinion: A man as devoted as him doesn't come around in packs you know?'
'Anda a banarte! You are not helping me.' She waved her hand grumpily.
'This coming from the gal who changes boyfriend every week...'
'I haven't found the right one yet... One day, if I come across a man who is cute and loves me for what I am rather than my curves, maybe I will decide to stay...'
Shaundi stopped and raised an eyebrow at the Boss in a condescending manner.
This frank look made the Boss go off her guard a little bit. This was a peculiar trait of Shaundi. She would cut anybody's crap.
'What am I supposed to do? Pretend what he did was normal?'
'No, but cut him some slack. And be honest. I know you. Don't tell me there wasn't a way to get off his grip and kick his ass, or run away if you wished.'
She tilted her head back, laughing a bit nervously. Maybe it was Shaundi. Or the wine. Or the teenage vibe the party noise brought. She lighted up entirely.
'Ok, for a moment there it was actually freaking good. I was so...wet. Both women laughed heartily. Maybe it's because he is so nice and sweet in general. It was a huge contrast. Who could guess that little Carlos had a dangerous side? But...! It's still wrong, and I am not going to let it go by like it was nothing. My godamn reputation is out there...'
Shaundi merely took the bottle on the ground and emptied it on her glass.
'You need to drink more Boss...'
'He said he loved me. ' The leader or the Saints stuttered.
'And...?'
'Yeah I don't want that. You know Carlos and you know me, I would hurt him, for real. And, It freaks the shit out of me.' She shrugged.
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Six o'clock.
Another bottle. The memories were getting fuzzy now, thank God.
'Borracho, huh?' A female voice stated casually by his side. He looked on his right. The Boss was sitting next to him on the step. He was borracho indeed. How long she is been sitting there?
'Wow. I didn't see you.' He said, and the longest silence on the history of the universe followed.
Not only he was drunk, he didn't have the slightest idea of what could he say next. It was awkward.
'I'm sorry. I know what I did was off limits.' Carlos finally started, speech altered by the booze
He then turned to look at the street and waited painfully for the moment she would tell him he was banished from the gang.
At this, The Boss turned her head away. Its hard been mad at someone when they just gave you the big puppy eyes. For a moment she thought of letting it go, but this was no time to play soft. If he would go and tell someone, it could lead to a total demoralization of her image. The next day some billy who just got canonized would feel he had actually a possibility and try to steal the leadership of this 'bitch' who was just a woman, good to be fucked but useless to be in charge.
'I thought a lot about it.' She said bluntly. He saw her using this tone before but never with him 'Not going to lie to you. You deserved more than a good kick in the balls for what you did. I killed people for less than that. But... Since you were the one who busted me out, I'm going to keep things as they are. Maybe I'm making a mistake. Don't make me regret it. I hope you won't mess it up again Carlos. If you do, don't count on me being there to pick up the pieces for you like usual. And I want your head in your job now. No more useless meetings, I want fucking results. Got that?'
Her words went right in, bringing him back to sober with a kick. It hurt. Even if it wasn't as bad as he expected: He understood, this was her way of telling him nothing would ever happen between them. He felt his heart burning, but didn't show in his face, getting a grip of himself.
'I swear.' He said firmly.
A few moments later he sensed that she got up and walked away, then heard a
car noise, driving away.
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*You stood us up! You sound totally wasted.
**Don't tell me what to do!
Sorry to leave things on a sore note but more is coming. Let's hope The Boss get over her commitment issues. Thanx for reading, please review