(Well. It's been a while, hasn't it.)
I refuse to speak to you.
(Oh, come on! I left an author's note about it, surely that was fair warning!)
Oh, it was. I just didn't like it.
(...Great. The Universe has jealousy issues.)
Why did you humans even invent this 'school' anyways? As far as I can tell, it only makes you more miserable than you already are.
(That, Universe, is one of life's greatest mysteries. Now don't you have a disclaimer to get to?)
Hmph... The author does not own the Legend of Zelda. If this were the case, the Zelda cartoon would be immediately erased from existence.
(We did get some good memes out of it though.)
Dawn of the Third Day. It was considerably less enthusiastically received than the beginnings of the previous two days. Most of it was because of the obvious, that being Shadow. The rest of it was because Mask was not looking forward to the Moon.
Well, nobody looked forward to the Moon. Mask in particular just looked forward to it the least. That thing was practically an Eldritch Abomination.
Which, of course, was exactly why the group thought the Moon was the most logical place for Shadow to be.
There was a sharp contrast in the Town from the first day the Links had arrived. Most of the villagers, having common sense, had looked at the impending death by celestial body and promptly decided to be somewhere else. Everyone who was still around was either in denial, or had nowhere else to go. Or they were Muto, who quite frankly was an over-pompous idiot who wouldn't notice danger if it bit him on the nose.
And then there were the Links, who fell into none of the above categories.
"It's settled, we're idiots," Steam decided. "We are risking our lives and sanity for one guy who may or may not have tried to kill us in the past. What is wrong with us?"
"We're addicted to heroism and the warm fuzzy feeling from helping people," Dusk said flatly.
"Oh, yeah..."
Tatl, to the best of her fairy ability, facepalmed.
"Guys, focus," Mask chided. "We've got roughly twenty-four hours or so until the Moon gets in range. I've got one more place I can think of to look for Shadow in, and then we should probably buy some potions and things just in case."
Gen made an "mph" noise and began rummaging through his bag, which produced a lot of clinking noises. Then he looked up and asked, "How many potions are we talking here? And why?"
Mask thought for a moment, counting his rupees. "Hopefully, one for each of us."
Gen frowned. "That doesn't answer why."
"At every other Hyrule we've been in, we've ended up fighting someone," Mask said. "This, technically, is Ocarina and I's Hyrule. The problem is that this is Termina. So it follows that, if we're going to fight someone, it'll most likely be Majora."
The group gave an involuntary shudder.
"The one who likes to burn things?" Red asked hesitantly.
"Isn't that the one you're afraid of?" Wind questioned.
"I have a very good reason to be nervous around that thing," Mask protested. "It thinks torture is fun and breaking people is even better. There's a reason it's dropping a Moon on everything, you know."
Gen grunted again and resumed his rummaging, counting under his breath. "...I should have enough room once I do some reorganizing in here. Gimme about twenty minutes and I'll be good to go."
"You take this whole 'medic' thing really seriously," Green observed as Gen sat down and began categorizing.
"Well, someone's got to do it," Gen replied, stacking soup-filled bottles on top of one another. "Besides, now I have a perfectly valid reason for my bottle collection."
"...and done!" Gen announced, packing away his last bottle. "And with two-point-four-three minutes to spare. I am good."
"Links and Fairy, the packer extraordinaire," Lore said with a smirk. Gen swatted his co-leader upside the head in response, rolling his eyes. Which, naturally, Lore took as a challenge, which led to a somewhat undignified game of Catch-the-Hat.
Dusk twitched and took over. "You mentioned a place to look?" he prompted Mask, solidly ignoring the whack noises coming from behind him.
"Great Bay," Mask replied. "There's pirates and more poisonous water, but not quite as bad."
"Better or worse than Lake Erie?" Blue asked. Mask promptly stepped three feet to the left as half the group dogpiled the unfortunate aqua-clothed Link.
"Probably Maumee Bay level," he answered. "There's also some depression, questionably played music, and death. Oh, and a good bit of grief."
"Sounds like Shadow's kind of place," Dusk agreed with a grimace.
"Well then," Lore said, popping up between the two with his hat skewed off center and his hair in complete disarray. "I'd call that a plan. Break!"
"When and where did you come from!?"
"There is something wrong with this beach," Wind decided, glancing around at the barren sand.
"Oh yeah, you would know, wouldn't you?" Mask realized. "I guess living on an island comes in handy once in a while."
Wind sent a good-natured eye-roll his way. "It just feels so... cold. Empty. Beaches should be full of life, sound, color. This is just..."
"Like someone died here."
Wind tilted his head. "Well... kinda. I guess that's as good a way to put it as anything else."
Mask stared down at the sand. Wind stared at him.
"Oh Din, you were serious."
Mask pulled out his Zora... mask. "You remember how I said there are souls in these things?"
The group nodded.
"Where do you think the souls came from?"
Dusk blinked. "So you're telling us a Zora, an aquatic being, died at a beach. And that was him."
"Technically, I think the pirates killed him, but that about sums it up."
"Which completely explains your protectiveness when Linebeck showed interest," Wind said. "And your other masks are like that too?"
"Just these," Mask said, pulling out his Deku and Goron... masks, to match. "So, that's why I thought this would be a good place to look. Lots of depressing things, Shadow would love it."
"Got that right," Sketch muttered.
"Well, he's clearly not on this beach," Steam said, looking at the barren landscape. "Unless he'd doing a fantastic job at hiding, and, let's face it, I don't think he's quite that inconspicuous."
"It's hard to hide a dark person on a white beach," Ocarina agreed. "Where to next?"
"First," Mask said with a somewhat disturbing grin, "we're gonna need some boats."
Almost as one, the group turned to look at the collection of canoes lying on the beach. And gulped. With the exception of Wind, of course, because boats were practically his second home.
"Dibs on whichever boat Wind's in," Steam said immediately.
"Stroke on starboard," Wind advised as he dipped his paddle in the water and pulled. The rest of the Links in the boat, being Steam, Realm, and the Four, looked at each other in confusion.
"Starboard?" the Four asked.
"Don't look at me," Steam replied. "I have absolutely no idea."
"It means 'right'," Wind elaborated, having heard the comments. There was a collective "ohhh" from the rest of the boat.
"Why didn't you say so?" Realm asked.
In another boat, which contained Lore, Sketch, Green, Blue, Vio, and Red, there was a different sort of problem.
"I hate everything," Sketch said, eyeing the water below him with massive apprehension. Behind him, Blue, Green, and Vio had piled themselves on top of Lore to keep him from tipping the boat over.
"We're only in nine inches of water, it'd be hilarious!" Lore protested, squirming.
"It would also be incredibly inconsiderate and manipulative," Vio snapped. "He trusted us with his fear of water, why would you prank him with it? That'd be like me pranking you with... um..."
"The Windfish," Blue supplied. Lore paused.
"...I do hate that whale," he said thoughtfully. "But can you imagine my face? It'd be legendary!"
"You are not tipping this boat!" Green ordered.
The last boat held Mask, Gen, Ocarina, Dusk, and Speck, who were watching the first two with a mixture of confusion and relief that they weren't on them.
"That," Gen said, pointing to the second boat where Red had joined the restricting dogpile, "is why I didn't want to row with him."
"What does 'thirty-seven degrees to port' mean?" Speck asked as the first boat drifted haphazardly by, accompanied by the sound of loud and confused arguing.
"Well, port means left," Dusk said. "And I assume the other part was how much left they needed to go... only problem is none of the other guys besides Wind have ever sailed before. And since it's second nature to him, he probably doesn't even realize how confusing he's being."
Conveniently, Wind's voice drifted over at that exact moment. "Guys, you're crabbing! You have to paddle crisply!"
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!" Steam bellowed.
"How can we be crabbing without a net?" the Four asked, clearly lost.
"Wait, we're fishing? I thought we were looking for Shadow," Realm said. "I don't even like crabs, can we hunt grouper instead?"
Wind began smacking his head on the side of the boat and didn't seem inclined to stop anytime soon.
The group on the third boat stared.
"...I'm going to assume he wasn't talking about actual crabs?" Ocarina guessed.
"Crabbing, in terms of rowing a boat, is when your paddle dips too low and gets jerked by the water. Basically it completely kills your momentum and messes up everybody else in the boat," Dusk explained.
"You know an awful lot about boats for someone in a landlocked Hyrule," Mask said.
Dusk shrugged. "We have a lot of river-ways. There's a lot of entertainment value and some people make their living by giving tour rides. Everyone knows how to paddle, really."
"...Maybe we should put you with Wind as a translator," Speck said.
One extraordinarily confusing and directionally challenged half-hour later, the Links reached a small floating platform with a house on it, and immediately clambered on because nobody liked the boats very much at the moment.
This decision was immediately regretted about twenty seconds later when Ocarina looked up.
"Correct me if I'm wrong," he said, sounding like he very much hoped to be corrected, "but is that Tingle up there?"
Sure enough, the strange fairy-wanna-be was suspended above the ocean by a bright red balloon in physics-defying fashion. The group gaped.
"How... what?" Wind sputtered. "He was literally on the other side of the map yesterday! How did he get here?"
"He's Tingle," Mask said darkly. "You probably don't want to know."
"All for getting back in the boats and pretending we didn't see him?" Lore said.
"Agreed," the group chorused.
Hours later, the group was floating above a certain spot in the ocean that Mask had specified. He pulled on his Zora... mask and said, "How do you guys feel about taking a really short swim?"
"I take it the Zoras live down there somewhere?" Dusk mused, peering at the water.
"There's air, right?" Ocarina asked.
Mask huffed. "Yes, there's air. There's also depression, so Shadow might be there. Any complaints? Sketch?"
"I'll be fine as long as it's short," Sketch said through gritted teeth.
"It will be," Mask assured. "Alright everyone, grab me or someone attached to me. And hold your breath."
With that, Mask dove into the water, dragging all seventeen Links behind him-and promptly discovered the concept of drag.
"You guys are heavy!" he grunted, picking up his pace and consequently moving point-five times faster. Steam, who was closest, sent Mask an eye-roll in lieu of being able to respond and started kicking his feet to help propel the chain along.
Luckily Mask had judged their position well, and the fish-rock-thing's mouth entrance was easily reached within a few more seconds. Mask broke the surface inside the structure and helped the rest of the group onto the floor, but didn't change back from a Zora.
"Welcome to the Zora Hall," he said once the rest of the Links had regained their breath.
"...huh," Lore said, looking around. "It's bigger on the inside. How is all this fitting in that fish?"
"Logic," Mask said. "Now, follow me closely and nobody should take too much offense. Mikau is pretty well-respected around here and if I say I brought some people to help, the others should accept that just fine."
"Mikau?" Gen repeated.
"Oh... well, that's who died," Mask explained. "That's who I look like."
"That's... creepy," Speck decided.
Mask looked distinctly uncomfortable, which translated surprisingly well on a Zora's face. "Yeah... it is. But that's how it works. Now, let's go ask the band if they've seen a red-eyed shadow, shall we?"
Mask led the way to a room with an unusually large Zora in it. He was playing a drum set made from coral and what appeared to be dead fish, with drumsticks made from driftwood.
"Hey, Mikau!" the drummer said, beaming from his set. "Where've you been, man? And who are the green guys?"
"Friends of mine I met during one of our performances, I'm showing them around," Mask replied. "Hey, have you seen a Hylian recently?"
"What's that?" the drummer asked. Mask blinked.
"Uh... Terminians?"
"Oh! Why didn't you say so? I'm looking at some right now, bro."
"No, not them. The one I'm talking about looks like he's made of shadows and has bright red eyes. Seen anyone like that?"
The drummer paused. "Hmmmmmmmm..."
There was a long beat of silence.
"...Nope," the drummer decided.
"Right, cool. Thanks anyway, dude," Mask said.
"Anytime," the drummer said, waving a drumstick in farewell as the group trooped out.
Once the door had been closed, Dusk made a "huh," noise. "I have never seen a Zora that fat before," he said. "Ever."
"I've been told not to mention it," Mask replied as he led the way to another door. "Something about not liking him when he's angry."
Behind the door was another Zora just as abnormal as the drummer. His head-fin drooped over his eyes exactly the way dreadlocks would, making it impossible to see his expression. It made one wonder if Zoras could actually style their fins or if they just had to make do with how the appendages grew. He was strumming a sombre tune on what looked like a bass guitar made from bones of dead sea life, including a crab claw, ironically enough.
"Mikau," the Zora greeted in a tone that sounded extremely hippie-like. "Ya brought some new dudes for our jam session. I like it."
"Actually, they're helping me look for a friend," Mask said. "Have you seen a Terminian who's all black with red eyes?"
"Nope. He sounds radical, though. When ya find him, ya gotta introduce me. I could write a sweet song about that guy."
"I don't doubt that," Mask replied. "Thanks for your time, man."
"No problemo," the bassist said, going right back to strumming his song.
The next room was largely taken up by a three-sided piano which thankfully seemed not to be made of dead fish. The Zora playing the keys turned around at the sound of the Link's entrance and said, "Mikau! Were you successful? Did you get- who the heck are those guys?"
"Friends of mine, they're helping me out as a favor they owe me," Mask said without missing a beat. "I thought it'd be a good idea to get all the help I can."
The pianist, who looked about as strange as the previous two, narrowed his tiny eyes thoughtfully. He had a pair of what looked like headphones made of seaweed perched on his head, and a mouth so wide that it looked physically impossible. "...Yeah, that makes sense. Just make sure they don't go telling everybody, okay?"
"No problems there," Mask assured him. "Quick question for you. Have you seen a dark-colored Terminian with red eyes?"
The pianist frowned. "No... why? Do you think he's the one responsible?"
"Not sure yet," Mask said with a head shake. "But it's important that I find him anyways, I just thought I'd ask. Thanks for your time."
"Thank you, Mikau," the pianist called after him. "I know you can get the eggs back."
Immediately after Mask closed the door, Lore pounced. "What eggs? What can't we tell anyone? What does he think Shadow's responsible for?"
"There's a Zora named Lulu who lost her eggs to some pirates," Mask explained with his hands up in a 'don't shoot me' pose. "Mikau was trying to rescue them so she could be happy again."
"But... Mikau died," Red said with a frown. "Her eggs never got rescued..."
"No, they did. I rescued them," Mask said. Red frowned some more at that.
"Then... why do they all think the eggs are still lost?"
Mask sighed. "Because I have to keep resetting time in order to prevent the total destruction of Termina. Everything I do before then gets rewritten, like it never happened in the first place. Trust me, I really did save the eggs. But that was in another cycle, before all this mess happened."
"That's..." Red trailed off, unable to find a word that was accurate enough.
"I know," Mask said softly. "I know."
There was one more person they could ask, Mask decided. He would just need to phrase his questions as Yes-or-No. Thus, he led the group to Lulu.
"Hey, Lulu," Mask said. The Zora girl looked up, tilted her head, then stared back down at the waves below. Mask took this in stride. "I know you can't really talk right now, but I need to ask you something important. You can nod your head yes or no, okay?"
Lulu paused, then slowly met Mask's eyes and nodded.
"Have you seen a dark-colored Terminian with red eyes?"
Another pause, then a head shake of 'No'. Mask hmphed.
"That's fine. Thanks for your help."
Lulu tilted her head in a questioning angle and flicked her eyes towards the rest of the Links.
"Oh, them? They're helping me find your eggs," Mask said. "They're friends of mine from Clock Town."
Lulu arched an eyebrow.
"Well, they're... what's the word for seventeen kids born at once?"
"Septuplets?" Blue offered.
"No, that's seven born at once...I think..."
A very faint smile appeared on Lulu's face for the briefest of moments. Mask chuckled.
"No, I haven't actually asked how their mother felt about it. I kinda thought that would be rude."
"Absolutely right," Lore said, nodding emphatically. "That's her business. Never ask your friend's mother about her childbirth circumstances."
"Lore!" Gen scolded.
"Hey, don't hate me because it's true."
"I apologize for... him," Mask told Lulu, who nodded as acceptance. "Anyways... oh! I almost forgot. I've got a new song for you."
Mask promptly pulled out a guitar from absolutely nowhere that looked like it had been made from fishbone and plucked a seven-note song on the strings. The effect on Lulu was astounding. Her entire face went from devastated to cheerful in a matter of seconds, and she began to softly sing along with Mask's tune.
At the end of the song, Mask looked the Zora girl dead in the eyes. "We're going to fix this mess," he said. "That's a promise."
Lulu nodded and looked back out at the ocean, more peaceful than she'd been in a while.
"You speak silent depression awfully well," Lore observed as the group left.
"Nah, I'm actually just fluent in Facial Expressions," Mask replied. "Turns out, the face says exactly what you're thinking if one knows where to look for it."
"Sounds useful," Sketch said.
"You have no idea," Mask said with a grin. "Remind me to translate a politician sometime, it's absolutely hilarious to read what they're actually thinking about something."
"To the point of why we're here," Speck interrupted, "is there anywhere else we should look?"
Mask tried to run a hand through his hair, only to remember that Zoras didn't have any and ended up awkwardly patting the top of his head. Lore snickered.
"To be honest," Mask replied, shooting Lore a glare, "I can't think-"
He was abruptly interrupted by a gargantuan sea turtle.
"THE OPEN SEAS OF GREAT BAY HAVE NEED OF YOUR MIGHT," the turtle boomed. It had palm trees growing on it's back and was the equivalent size of a house. "QUICKLY. CLIMB ONTO MY BACK."
The Links gaped at the turtle, who gazed back at them impassively and slowly blinked, once.
"...Actually, I've kinda already done that, so... yeah," Mask said. "But, thanks for your offer, and I promise once we get this whole time mess sorted out I'll come back for a ride, okay?"
The turtle eyed him quizzically.
"It's not you, it's me," Mask said, backing off. "Later!"
He walked away before the turtle could say anything else.
"Explanations? Please?" Vio asked.
"You can't get to the Great Bay Temple without that turtle," Mask rattled off. "You can't summon the turtle without the New Wave Bossa Nova. You-"
"The what?"
"The song I played for Lulu, now shush," Mask lectured. "You can't get the New Wave Bossa Nova without rescuing Lulu's eggs. You can't rescue Lulu's eggs without being a Zora. You can't be a Zora without knowing the Song of Healing, and you can't know the Song of Healing unless the Happy Mask Salesman taught you. Shadow has none of that, so it's literally impossible for him to be there. Therefore, there's no point in going."
Blue blinked. "Run that by me again?"
Mask sighed. "The point is, I'm out of places to look here. The only things I can think of now are the Spider Houses, because those have their own level of creepy."
The Links glanced between themselves and shrugged.
"Worth a shot," Gen decided.
"I take it back. This was not a good idea in the slightest," Gen said, holding his sword between him and the cluster of spiders on the floor. "Why would anyone in their right mind even look in here?"
"Scared of spiders, are we?" Lore teased. Gen shot him a Death Glare.
"Let me explain something to you," Gen said slowly, enunciating each word. "Back in my Hyrule, the Skulltulas are bigger than me. Their backs are armored so you can't pierce them, and the only way to kill them is to stab their underside. If they see you, they will stalk you. If they catch you, they will launch themselves at your face, wrap all their legs around your torso and trap your arms so you can't stab them, and proceed to do their level best to eat you then and there. And they are very good at what they do. So yes, Lore. I am afraid of spiders. Have you got a problem with that?"
Lore stared at him for a long moment.
"...No, I don't," he said. "But I thought, since you were the one who said, and I quote, 'Worth a shot', you didn't have a problem with them."
"Yeah, well, my brain hadn't caught up with my words at that point," Gen grumbled. "Let's just... hurry up and check all the stuff so we can leave, okay?"
"My sentiments exactly," Lore agreed.
By the time the Links had finished, the sky was dark and the Moon was disturbingly close. Mask had taken off his... mask and was back to being a twelve-year-old Hylian, and the group was trudging back to Clock Town in order to prepare for the Moon.
"I really hope Shadow's there," Speck worried. "Between Ikana, the Swamp, Great Bay, the Spider Houses, and all the places we passed in between, I really thought he'd have been in one of them."
"We never went there though," Steam said, pointing towards a snow-covered mountain in the distance. "You sure he wouldn't be there, Mask?"
"That's where the Gorons live," Mask replied. "Shadow doesn't like Gorons."
"He doesn't?" Dusk asked, surprised. "How do you know?"
"I heard him muttering about them once after I used my Goron Mask. Something about them being infuriatingly happy-go-lucky and oozing far too much contentment to be normal. He seemed to think their attitude was unnatural. "
"...I'm pretty sure that's just optimism," Dusk said. "Or does he hate that too?"
"Oh, I wouldn't be surprised."
As the group walked into town, it was eerily empty. Aside from Muto, who was yelling at an abandoned town square about cowards and having the Carnival on his own. The group solidly ignored him and sat down at the base of the Clock Tower to wait.
"...I can't decide what I think about this place," Realm said. "On one hand, we have lots of death, poisonous water, mysterious cows, and a lot of other weird and concerning stuff. On the other hand, most of said weird and concerning stuff isn't normal."
"The cows are normal, actually," Mask offered.
"That's not helping."
Mask snickered, but didn't say anything else.
After another beat of silence, the Four spoke up. "It's like Termina's special, or something."
Wind raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"Well, we're all learning stuff we didn't know before, about ourselves and each other. Did any of us know we actually liked Shadow before we lost him and had to think about it?"
The Links had to admit they did not.
"And Sketch, we didn't know you avoided water until we got here."
Sketch shifted in place. "Well, it never really came up before now."
"And Gen, we didn't know you hated spiders."
"It's not so much of a hate as it is a strong passion about avoiding them," Gen said.
"Wind, we learned you have boating vocabulary, and that we need Dusk to translate you."
"I said I was sorry!" Wind protested to general laughter, while Dusk rubbed his head and looked embarrassed.
"Mask, we learned you've got a sensitive side under all that pranking and sarcasm."
"I never would have guessed," Ocarina said, nudging his counterpart in the ribs. Mask rolled his eyes.
"Sarcasm doesn't work on yourself, dude."
"Why? Have you thought up all the good retorts already?"
"You know I have."
"A-hem," the Four coughed. "Anyways, there's probably more that we aren't remembering, but we think you get our point, yeah?"
"Admittedly, there is a lot of evidence to that point," Vio observed. "But it could still be just coincidence."
"This place is special," the Four insisted. "You never know, once we find Shadow we might learn something new about him too."
"The day Shadow shares about himself is the day the world ends," Lore said, before flinching and slowly looking upwards at the descending death. "...I admit, I forgot about that for a moment. I really hope I didn't just jinx us."
"I know a good way to find out," Mask said, standing up and inclining his head towards the top of the Clock Tower. Fireworks were exploding in the sky above, and as the Links watched the upper portion of the Tower reconfigured itself so that the clock face became the roof platform. On the ground, stone slabs slotted into place to create a staircase which led up to the now-open door of the Clock Tower.
Mask took a deep breath. "You guys ready?"
Lore glanced around at the group and grinned fiercely. "Absolutely."
"Alright then," Mask said, facing the door and walking through. "Here we go again."
Termina is a jerk to write about and keep humor in, let me tell you. Everybody's either dead, going to be dead, cursed, possessed, or evil. It's ridiculous.
On the bright side, it did allow for some character development.
Thanks for being so patient with the wait for this one, everybody. I've been making myself put it off, because I knew I needed to adjust to my class schedule and get a feel for what kind of time I would have for writing. But I'm officially two weeks into school now, and I think I can guarantee an update about once a week. If not, I'll let you know.
I get to write Majora next chapter... that'll be fun. *grins evilly*
Until next time,
Changeling
Thanks to nickpillowthegamemaster, AnimeCat92 gdcintl and narutobleachfan16for favoriting/following!
Talon: Ah. So you don't really like shipping then. Honestly, neither do I, but it made sense at the time. I can promise that this will be a little-to-no romantic relationship fic whatsoever. Leaning more on the side of no. As for the Hero's Shade... I'm still debating on whether or not to use that plot point.
The Shy Potato: That's EXACTLY why I gave him that personality trait.
LuckyLugia: Happy Birthday!
butter: I know Zelda runs the country, and I respect that. But this is a humorous fic, and it's about the Links rather than the Zeldas. ST Zelda just always struck me as... ditzy. I guess I let that influence my other Zeldas a bit too much. I'll try and tone it down.
Can'tStopLaughin: The cows were actually a reader's suggestion. I liked it, so I used it.
Guest: Thank you!