Half an hour passed in the most absolute silence, until Carlos heard a low knock on the door.

He opened to find Gat, followed by Bruno and Tobias.

'How is she?'

'Better I guess. Sleeping. Where you guys going?' He came to the light of the hall and noticed the weapons on their hands.

'We're going to go to Freckle Bitch's and then, kill the cunts who messed with The Boss. Someone was kind enough to hint us where they were, Pierce's crew have them.'

Carlos didn't answer and simply turned to his best friend:

'Bruno, stay with her. I am coming with you guys.'

Gat looked up, in a mix of respect and annoyance. This kid didn't wait for an order, he just said 'I'm coming' as a statement and not a question, like what he, Gat, had to say, wouldn't stop him from doing anything.

He thought of leaving him out of this just to teach him that he was talking to his superior and second in command. But from the determination in his tone he could tell all the concern Carlos had for The Boss. Still, he knew he had to give him a hard time for a while now, at least until The Boss reassured him that Carlos treated her right. This was his best friend they were talking about, not some random chick.

'Am I fucking high or are you swapping our roles? Listening to you speak I could get the wrong idea and think that you're in charge.'

Carlos blinked, recognizing that he crossed a line:

'I'm sorry. But I still ask permission to come.'

Both men stared at each other silently, the tension filling the air. Gat's gaze was just as canny as it was intimidating, keeping your head up while those eyes were on you was not an easy task...

'Since you're more concerned about The Boss than anyone... 'He emphasized the end of the sentence looking attentively at him, and Carlos blushed slightly. 'You can come.'

Tobias walked to the car in front of them, probably too blunted to get the be-mols of this conversation, even if they weren't exactly subtle...

Gat and Carlos walked side to side in silence for a few steps, but then Johnny stopped and spoke lowly:

'You better watch out for what you're doing.'

'Doing what?'

Gat brought his head closer.

'Don't bullshit me. I know about you two messing around. She is my ace, don't screw up. Like I always say, this is just a friendly advice. Yet...'

'Can I speak freely, man to man?'

'You can.' He nodded, slightly amused at the thought of been challenged by a newb. 'I give you five minutes to explain yourself, just forget who I am.'

Carlos started, slightly stuttering at the beginning but still firm:

'Good. Listen Gat, I would probably say, this is none of your business. But since you seem to need to know, there you go: We're not messing around. We are together. I love The Boss. And she loves me.'

'Is that so? Why is this not happening in the opening then?' He said, unconvinced, the fact that Carlos had the pretension to believe the Boss reciprocated his feelings angering him more than he expected.

'I dunno and I don't care. She may be your friend, but now, she is also my girl.'

Gat chuckled, in spite of being more annoyed than ever. This kid had balls, he had to give him that. Not a lot of guys were crazy enough to talk to him in such a tone.

'If you say so.' He replied coldly to show he was neither convinced nor impressed by this speech.

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Hours later Gat drove Carlos back to the Hideout. Everything was settled, the bodies dumped in front of the PD as a warning. Tomorrow Stilwater's Gazette would have quite the headlines.

'Sure you don't want to go to company of Gyros?' Gat asked, parking te car. 'For me the night isn't over, I still want to get to the waiter they bribed at Tee N Ay.'

The other Saint shook his head negatively, amazed at Gat's expression. He seemed calm, refreshed, like he did what had to be done and now was at leisure of enjoying his night.

But Carlos, wasn't.

He sensed that he crossed a line during their little excursion.

He said goodbye to Gat and rushed inside to replace Bruno, not wanting and specially, not wishing to think about what they just did. But as he sat on the chair his exhausted mind and body started to play tricks on him. The worst parts of their excursion played themselves in his mind's eye:

'I didn't know she was your friend. I didn't know... ' The helpless man stated over and over, wiping. At his side, his cop colleague was dead over a pool of blood. 'We saw her tattoo after. He wanted revenge for what she did but he didn't tell us she was a Saint!'

Gat walked from side to side in front of him, this guy was repeating himself and wasting his time. He kicked the chair, interrupting all the winning and the man instinctively shrunk in his seat.

'That's not what I asked you. '

'Don't make it harder on you.' Tobias warned, finishing his blunt. 'We're not here fool around.'

'John told us to do our worst! But we just hit her!'

'Just?! You piece of shit!' Carlos saw a replay of his own arm swinging in the air and banging a shotgun on the guy's face one, two, three times.

Johnny was furious at the cop's answer too, but displayed nothing more than one profound and slow nod. That was one of the most scary things about him, you could never tell what the guy was really thinking, he was always a surprise, and often a gory one.

And then... God...

He was pretty sure that not even Hector could be proud of what he did.

'Yes Carlos this is guilt you're feeling.'

He saw himself losing his temper again, but Johnny put one halting hand on his chest:

'Don't. You almost broke his jaw already. I want this fucker to still be able to scream. Let's do it.'

Carlos squinted his eyes. The last part was almost blank, missing in his mind. He didn't have an image, just sounds, or better, screams and machine working...

'Holy shit. Oh man this is gross...! Just shoot the guy.' Toby's voice said, sounding disgusted.

He opened his eyes. His heart was filled with remorse but right in front of him was The Boss, and her swollen face resting over the pillow. The same rage pumped in his veins.

'I would do it again. Forgive me God, I would do it all again !'

Carlos kept watching his sweetheart sleep.

He caught himself wondering what regular life could be like, if it was possible to live without this chaos that threatened the ones you loved, every single day, or without this new weight in his heart that he suspected he would have to carry forever.

What would it be like if he and The Boss had met under different circumstances?

Would this whole day never happen?

He've always lived somewhat under the law, so all he could do was imagine a blurred and imprecise picture.

Whatever it was, however, made him smile and shone like a ray of sun in the suffocating darkness of that night.

He felt a strong, irresistible will to grab a few clothes, some cash, the woman and break free of this life before it was too late and one of them met the same fate Hector did.

Carlos couldn't believe his own thoughts.

This gang used to be sacred to him, sacred like that golden cross on his chest.

But for the first time, he wished The Saints never existed.

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Oh, I am excited about the next chapters. :)

Thanx for reading you crazy, wonderful people :3

I am going to do some MASSIVE editing soon, chapter 1, 2 and 3 will probably go through changes.