(Universe? I understand that it's November and that it's cold. But we have an agreement! You get to make fun of me and my story, and I get a disclaimer out of it. Do you have any idea how weird it is to insult myself?
...Universe?
*Sigh* Fine. But I refuse to make you Internet cookies after this.
I do not own the Legend of Zelda. This fact is very depressing.)
Ganon started off the fight by lunging with his trident. By now, having faced so many Ganons wielding so many tridents, the Links didn't have much of a problem dodging. In fact, since this trident didn't seem to boomerang, dodging was actually easier.
As such, Sketch took the opportunity to ask some questions.
"So, correct me if I'm wrong," he said, stepping backwards to avoid getting skewered. "But before, when I dealt with you, it always seemed like Yuga was in control. What changed?"
"I was given an opening," Ganon rumbled. "Ironically, being absorbed into that flame-headed buffoon did me a kindness, freeing me from the spell that was holding my consciousness down to make room for that insufferable moron's mind. And when I came back..." Ganon chuckled harshly. "Well, let's just say I rectified the situation."
"Duly noted and duly creeped," Sketch muttered. "Is he... er... alive in there?"
"Unfortunately," Ganon growled.
"I like this guy," Shadow said approvingly. "Now if only he wasn't a Ganon, we could get along swimmingly."
At this point in the conversation, Ganon decided he'd had enough talk and lunged forwards with his trident again, catching Shadow off-guard. Fortunately for the dark Link, he was made of shadows and was thus not painfully stabbed.
Unfortunately for Ganon, he had just run an essentially un-killable being through with a sharp and pointy weapon.
Shadow took offense to this.
"You shouldn't have done that," he informed the large lavender pig with a highly disturbing smile on his face. He then proceeded to stab his sword into a very painful and very unfortunate piece of Ganon's anatomy.
Ganon reacted appropriately.
"You have some serious issues," Wind said as Ganon cringed on the floor.
"Thank you so much for noticing!" Shadow beamed.
"I AM DONE PLAYING GAMES!" Ganon roared suddenly, and vanished in a flash of white particles.
"Back to back!" Realm yelled. "He's teleporting!"
Ganon materialized in front of Steam, slammed the Link into the wall with his trident, and vanished again in a split second.
"You don't say," Steam groaned painfully. Gen, who was back-to-back with Dusk at the moment, shuffled his way over and dropped off a Potion.
Meanwhile, Lore and the Four were trading blows with Ganon, who had flashed himself within inches of their position. They only managed to land two hits before Ganon vanished again and materialized behind Blue and Vio, where he swung his weapon in a wide arc and sent both of the sprawling.
"I vote we get serious now," Blue moaned weakly into the stone floor.
"Seconded," Vio rasped.
"I AGREE!" Ganon bellowed. His trident began to glow an eerie red-black color, prompting all the nearby Links to duck-and-cover. This turned out to be an excellent idea as Ganon's weapon hit the wall instead and blasted a table-sized chunk to rubble.
"Oi! I wasn't talking to you!" Blue yelled crankily. "You're not allowed to get better when we do, that's cheating!"
"TELL IT TO SOMEONE WHO CARES!" Ganon roared back.
"I love this guy," Shadow chortled.
"Alright, you heard him," Lore said. "Lets kick it up a notch, agreed?"
"Agreed," the group chorused, with the Links who had already been hit looking especially determined.
This time, instead of having multiple back-to-back formations, the group bunched up together in one large circle. And it worked fairly well. Ganon, unable to teleport himself in the middle of the formation, was forced to approach from the outside where the Links would be ready for him. This wasn't to say that the Links weren't taking any more hits, because that was far from accurate. But they were getting some nice returns in.
And then Ganon decided to kick up one of his own notches.
It started when he vanished in a teleport, which by this point wasn't anything unusual. What made it different from the norm was when he didn't appear immediately. Instead, a small red sphere spawned in the air above the group's heads, then spiraled up and slammed down with a destructive radial blast. The Links scattered, which was a very smart decision because another sphere appeared seconds later, followed by another, and another, and another.
By the time the attack finally stopped, their formation was in tatters.
Ganon then capitalized on this by throwing his trident like a boomerang.
"OH, COME ON!" Lore yelled. "JUST ONE I'D LIKE A FIGHT WITHOUT FREAKISH BOOMERANG EFFECTS! Is THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!"
Ganon answered by launching another round of the exploding spheres, causing everyone to scramble again.
"I admit, this is more challenging than I was expecting," Gen commented. "Any ideas?"
"He doesn't watch his back," Vio said. "He's so confident that his teleporting ability will compensate that he doesn't cover behind him."
"And there's enough of us that we can get there while he's distracted," Green finished. "Good plan."
"I try."
"Implement that," Lore ordered. "And try – DODGE!"
Everyone briefly ducked as the boomeranging trident went whirling through.
" - not to die," Lore finished calmly. "Break!"
With the exception of Speck, who was employing his usual method of climbing up to the eardrum, the Links divided themselves into two groups. Those who distracted, and those who took advantage of the distraction and whacked Ganon with pointy things.
Naturally, Lore was on the Distraction Team. He was joined by Realm, due to his freakish stamina; the Four, because they naturally clustered and looked like an easy target; Dusk, because Midna wanted to participate; and Mask, because there were few things more distracting than a randomly shape-shifting Deku Scrub.
Lore, being himself, went first.
"Now then," he said, pulling out a pictograph from absolutely nowhere. "I'm going to need you to hold still for a second. I've only got a sixty-point aperture setting on this thing and you're moving a bit too fast for the lens."
Ganon, having never encountered Lore before, made the mistake of stopping and gawking, which allowed the eccentric Link to get himself rolling.
"We always take a picture with the Villain of the Week, see," Lore explained, correctly interpreting Ganon's expression as 'utterly baffled'. "I can show you the album after the fight, but right now I need you to pose for me. Spread your legs about four feet apart, please..."
Ganon blinked, then shuffled his feet around a bit.
"No no, that's three feet," Lore said patiently. "Bit wider... little more... perfect! Now, extend your arm... your other one, please. And hold up two fingers spread apart like this." He demonstrated a peace sign with the hand that didn't have the pictograph. "Now boys, if you would please?"
The rest of the Distraction Team, having been around Lore enough that they could pick up his cues by now, inched into positions around the large lavender pig and mimicked his position.
"Perfect," Lore enthused, making a frame around the group with his fingers. He then held up the pictograph and, bizarrely, launched into an advertising spiel. "Pictures taken instantaneously! I'm a photographic genius if I do say so myself."
Mask blinked. "Since when? I've never seen you take a photo since I met you."
"Yeah, and I've known him longer than you," Dusk agreed.
"DO NOT INTERRUPT BRILLIANCE!" Lore bellowed. "Now, get ready for an instant memory! Look at the Pictograph... Ready? Say, 'Fuzzy Pickles'."
"Fuzzy Pickles," the Links and Ganon chorused dutifully.
And then Ganon was spontaneously stabbed in the backside by ten different swords of various lengths and pain capacities.
"I am a distractive mastermind," Lore said smugly as Ganon bellowed in pain-filled rage and vanished in a teleport. "Oh, Wind, here's your Pictograph back."
Wind took the machine and stared at it blankly. "When and how did you take this?"
"About two minutes ago, when I decided to implement Confusing Prank #472," Lore replied. "You should really put a button or something on your bag, it's far too easy to pickpocket you."
"I know, right?" Blue agreed.
"The buttons don't look good with the stitching," Wind mumbled.
Any response that would have been made to that was cut off when Ganon reappeared and lunged forwards with his trident covered in the black-red energy again, forcing everyone to scatter. Ganon, still quite angry, locked on to the one specific Link who had caused him to feel the most pain and charged with a single-minded purpose.
To no-one's surprise, it was Lore.
"DISTRACTIVE MASTERMIND!" Lore repeated at the top of his lungs as he sprinted away from the large and angry pig with a massive grin on his face.
"...There is something very wrong with his head," Dusk decided.
"Maybe," Gen agreed. "But if it ain't broke..."
"I'm not entirely convinced that he isn't."
Lore streaked by again, with Ganon close behind, and the majority of the Links took the opportunity to get in a few more strikes. This finally served to switch Ganon's attention off of Lore and onto someone else.
Or at least, he would have if Speck hadn't picked that exact moment to drive his sword into the villain's inner ear.
Ganon bellowed, dropped his trident and cupped both hands on the side of his head, scrabbling to get the weapon out of his ear. Speck yelped, yanked his sword free, and frantically dodged the fingers before rolling off Ganon's shoulder entirely and landing with a soft plop on Steam's outstretched palm.
"Thanks," Speck gasped, looking a bit pale.
"Someone's gotta be around to catch you," Steam shrugged, already a good ten feet away from Ganon. He retreated a few more steps, then knelt down to deposit Speck on the floor. "Are you gonna go for his other ear, or are you done for now?"
"Done, I think," Speck said. "His reactions are traumatizing."
"I'll leave you to the resizing, then," Steam replied.
Speck jogged off to the corner where he'd left his Jar and Sketch rejoined the rest of the Links in their standoff with Ganon, who had one hand pressed to his ear and the other holding his trident, albeit a bit less securely than before.
"How close d'you think we are?" he asked as he came up.
Vio eyed their opponent thoughtfully. "I'd say a couple more hits should do it," he judged.
"Dibs," Shadow declared.
"Do you want anyone to be a Distraction-" Gen started, only to end up talking to air as Shadow had already taken off and was using his abilities as a not-quite-hylian to do as much damage as he could. The arm that wasn't holding his sword was outstretched far more than should have been possible and was shooting darkmatter projectiles in a rapid-fire fashion. As such, Ganon was forced to block with his sword, and since his other hand was on his ear was thus left entirely wide open for when Shadow slid around his back with astonishing speed and implanted his sword into the small of Ganon's back.
"I know you weren't directly involved in my... origins," Shadow said conversationally. "But unfortunately for you, you share both their name and their general features. No hard feelings."
Suddenly, his sword could be seen poking out the front of Ganon's stomach. The rest of the Links winced – aside from Wind, who had actually driven a sword through someone's head before and didn't see much difference. Then Shadow withdrew his weapon with a jerk and Ganon slumped to the ground.
"You may have bested me," Ganon wheezed, "but once I'm gone you'll still have Yuga to deal with. Not to mention, your little Lorule Princess still has it in her mind to betray you..."
With that, there was a flash of the now familiar hole and Ganon's influence vanished. In his place was a pointy-nosed man with a greenish complexion and long, braided red hair.
"I'm... I'm free?" he said, trembling. "I'M FREE! NOW THE REALMS WILL KNOW MY-"
Sketch hit him upside the head with the flat of his blade, and Yuga toppled over in a blunt-force coma.
"I am not in the mood to deal with you right now," Sketch told Yuga's unconscious body.
"I like this new trend," Shadow decided. "You people are getting more and more violent. I love it!"
"Guys," Blue said slowly. "We're all doomed. Shadow approves of us."
Din frowned. "Was that supposed to last longer?"
"Well, the fact that Hilda is out cold threw off the possibilities a bit," Nayru replied. "Originally her plan was to take Wisdom's Piece, then Yuga's if Courage managed to defeat him. I assume then that she would have fought Courage herself, if not for Yuga's original plan to betray her, absorb her, and fight with both Wisdom's and Power's Pieces. Of course, since Power was able to assume control of Yuga and his' shared body, that threw the plan off. And then he knocked Hilda out, which threw the plans even more. As it stands now, Zelda still has her Wisdom even though she's still a painting, Ganon took his Power with him when he left, and Link never lost his Courage. It's all a bit mixed right now."
Din blinked. "How do you keep track of all that?"
"Goddess of Time," Nayru shrugged. "It's my job."
"Hilda?" Sketch asked, shaking said Princess gently. "Can you hear me? Yuga's defeated, and in desperate need of a jail cell. Also, Zelda's still a painting..."
"Urrrrgh," Hilda muttered. She slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position and stared at the carnage of the room blankly. Sketch waved a hand in front of her face.
"Hilda? You okay?"
"There are more?" She said, sounding utterly terrified. Sketch glanced up, wondering what was so frightening – and saw Red leaning in with wide eyes and a beaming smile.
"You look just like Zelda!" he chirped.
Hilda promptly passed out.
"...Okay..." Sketch said slowly. "Not sure what her problem is... hey guys?"
"Yeah?"
"Any ideas on how to reverse portraitification?
"Doesn't your bracelet do that?" Vio suggested. "Maybe hold it up or touch the paint or something?"
"Good point," Sketch said, doing just that. It worked; Zelda's portrait began to glow, and within a few seconds the Princess of Hyrule stood in front of the group. She cocked her head at the Links slightly.
"Did you get a little lost, Link?" she asked, amused. "It looks a bit like you may have taken your time finding Lorule and made some detours instead."
"She's good," Mask said.
"That's not what happened!" Sketch protested. "And besides, that's Realm's job!"
Suddenly reminded, everyone quickly looked around for the wayward Link.
"I'm still here," Realm said, waving from the middle-left of the cluster.
"It never hurts to check," the Four told him.
Zelda giggled.
"That's not what happened," Sketch repeated, irate. "If anything, they got lost and found me."
"Not entirely true, but close," Green said. "We're not really lost, per se, but we did find you instead of the other way around."
"Which dimensions are you from?" Zelda asked curiously.
The Links exchanged glances and tried to figure out how to tell her in a way that wasn't spectacularly confusing.
"Well... I'm from the past," Gen started. "The very, very distant past. You could say I'm the First Hero."
"Except that we met Oni, and know that you weren't," Steam snickered.
"He's a mask! We can't exactly introduce him!"
"Most of us are from the past of some sort," Wind stepped in while Gen and Steam devolved into an argument. "Except that some of us are from alternate timelines that spawned from those two," he pointed at Mask and Ocarina briefly, "and we don't quite know where Shadow came from because he won't tell us."
"It's amusing to watch you guess," Shadow explained.
Zelda laughed again. "You must all be very good friends to argue like you do. Only people who know each other well can get under someone's skin so efficiently."
"Well, I suppose that's one way to put it," Realm agreed.
At that point, Hilda regained consciousness, then very nearly passed out again at seeing all eighteen Links at once. She managed to hold herself together this time, though, and shakily got to her feet.
"Why are there so many of you, Link?" she asked, fixing Sketch with lidded red eyes.
"Time travel and a large, universe-devouring hole," Sketch said. "It's complicated."
"Where is Yuga?" Hilda asked, glancing around nervously.
"Knocked him out, tied him up, and had Lore put him on ice," Sketch rattled off. He turned to glance at Yuga, who was out cold and encased in an iceberg up to his neck and grinned. "A lot of ice."
"The Triforce?" Hilda asked, seeming desperate now.
"Ganon took his piece when we beat him, Zelda never lost hers, and we've got more Courage right now than should probably be legal."
Hilda took a deep, shuddering breath.
"It's gone?" she whispered.
And the Princess of Lorule crumpled to the floor.
"It's gone," she moaned. "The Triforce is gone, and I have failed. Lorule is doomed." She broke down in tears.
Sketch blinked, and took an awkward step backwards. Zelda had her hands over her mouth.
"Hilda? What's wrong?" she asked gently.
"I failed my people," Hilda sobbed. "I-I needed your Triforce to save my people. But now-now it's gone, and-and I failed them!"
"Princess?" Someone called. And a large and violently purple rabbit came plummeting out of nowhere, tripped over the floor and spilled several green Rupees before clambering to his feet and racing to Princess Hilda.
"Hey, don't cry," Ravio said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, trust me."
Hilda wailed and flung herself bodily into the rabbit merchant, where she clutched at his robe like a lifeline. "D-d-don't l-leave me ever a-again," she pleaded.
Ravio, who looked both distinctly uncomfortable and incredibly pleased, patted her head awkwardly.
"I'm not going anywhere, promise," he said. His other hand reached up to his hood and pulled it down, then returned to the Princess of Lorule.
"You have got to be kidding me," Lore stated bluntly. "How many of us are there?!"
Ravio, although his hair was black and his eyes were green, looked exactly like Sketch.
"Excuse me?" Shadow spat, stalking over to Ravio and glaring in the alternate Link's face. Specifically, at his hair. "Are you trying to pull something here?
"I was born with this hair color," Ravio squeaked, shrinking a good three inches under Shadow's Look.
"A very convenient excuse," Shadow snorted derisively. "I'll be watching you..." He pointed two fingers at Ravio's face, then turned around and stepped back into the Link group, where he affected his usual posture of complete and total disinterest.
"Um... so... basically, I'm Link's counterpart in Lorule," Ravio stuttered, still sounding a bit high-pitched. "I wasn't brave enough to stand up to Hilda and Yuga when they made their plans, so I fled to Hyrule because I knew I could find a hero to help me. I wasn't exactly expecting to find my doppelganger, but hey, added bonus," he said, shrugging.
Hilda sniffled and released her grip on Ravio's clothes a bit. "You... were trying to stop me? Why? I was trying to save Lorule..."
"But to do it by ruining Hyrule?" Ravio murmured. "All we would be doing is exchanging one devastated land for another. In saving our kingdom, we would have doomed theirs to our current fate, and I... I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let you become that kind of person."
"So you would put their kingdom above your own?" Hilda asked, with a bit of heat in her otherwise watery voice.
"I put Lorule above anything," Ravio said fiercely. "But not like this. There has to be another way."
"But there isn't..." Hilda whispered, tears falling again.
Ravio sighed. "Look, Princess. Our Triforce was destroyed because the people who fought over it created situations exactly like this."
Hilda let out a little gasp and renewed her grip on Ravio's clothes.
"Hilda... I couldn't let you become like them. You cared so much about your people, I just... I just couldn't."
Hilda started sobbing again.
"I d-d-don't deserve you," she breathed in between exhales.
"Hey now, don't go there," Ravio scolded gently. "If anything I don't deserve you. Who else has such an amazing Princess that she would go to such lengths to save her people?"
Gen slapped a hand across Lore's mouth. "Don't you dare," he hissed. Lore peered down at the hand, then rolled his eyes and mumbled something unintelligible around the fingers which probably translated to something along the lines of 'I wasn't going to'.
"Look, regardless of what's happened, we need to do the right thing now. Let them keep their Triforce; it's where it belongs."
"You're right," Hilda murmured, pulling away from Ravio's now-very-wet robe. Her mouth quirked ever so slightly. "As usual."
"I doubt that, Princess," Ravio said, although his face was a tiny bit red.
"Zelda," Hilda addressed her counterpart, "I wish to apologize for my actions. I was so desperate that I couldn't see the boundaries that I shouldn't have crossed. But know that, even though I have done unforgivable things, I did it all for my people."
"I understand that better than anyone," Zelda replied, smiling.
"Guys, group huddle, now," Lore ordered.
Seconds later, with everyone in formation, he said, "Sketch? What just happened?"
"Lorule used to have a Triforce but because the people fought over it and nearly brought everything to ruin, Hilda's ancestors destroyed it," Sketch rattled off. "Only problem was that nobody realized that Lorule needed a Triforce to stay... well, whole, I guess. Basically this is the reason why the whole kingdom is in such a mess and why everything's so gray. Anyways, Hilda and Yuga discovered the existence of another Triforce, that'd be the one in Hyrule, and made a plan to steal it. This resulted in Zelda getting portraitified, Yuga summoning and fusing with Ganon, and me getting involved, which led to this fight, which I suspect should have ended differently if Demise hadn't messed with things. Ravio is my counterpart like Hilda is Zelda's, and he just convinced her that stealing our Triforce is not the answer."
He took a very, very deep breath once he was done and hunched over to try and regain his oxygen.
"Right," Lore said, frowning. "Can we fix this?"
The question took everyone by a bit of surprise, before they all settled down to have a Think.
"...We could wish on one of our Triforces," Vio suggested eventually. "Have it restore theirs?"
"But we're only carriers of Courage," Speck pointed out. "Even though we've got a Wisdom on hand, there's no way we can get a Power to make it complete."
"Can we force it with a Courage overload?" Mask wondered.
Dusk winced. "That is probably a very bad idea. And I know this because Midna is all for it."
Everyone considered that for a moment.
"Right, moving on," Ocarina said hastily. Shadow scowled.
"I really don't like Demise," Realm said suddenly. "If he hadn't gone and messed everything up, we could do something about this!"
"I know what you mean," Gen said. "I'm used to being able to fix things. But..."
"Admittedly, Termina got me somewhat used to the concept," Mask said. "But that doesn't mean I like it any less."
"So... promise by the goddesses that we'll fix this once we fix the universe?" Wind proposed.
"Maybe don't say it like that," Steam grinned. "But overall, sounds like a plan."
"Plans are good," Lore said solemnly. "Break."
The Links dissembled the circle to find Zelda waiting for them.
"Hilda has offered to take us home," she said, smiling. "Are you ready?"
"Actually," Sketch said, "sorry, but we've got another ride. We're only about halfway done, see."
"You really did get lost, didn't you, Link?" Zelda laughed. "Well then, don't let me stop you. Come see me once you're done, okay?"
"You got it," Sketch replied.
"Speaking of our ride," Realm said, "where is it?"
"I think it migrated after Ganon went poof," Ocarina said, peering around. "Remember how it tends to do that?"
"And if our usual luck is any indication," Steam sighed, "it's probably parked itself on the other side of the castle."
"Right then," Lore said. "Wind and the Four are in charge of Realm, try not to get caught in his Misdirectional Field this time. Actually, Mask and Ocarina follow Realm too, we really need to get a handle on this."
"It just sorta happens," Realm said with an awkward grin.
"The rest of us, we're going to figure a way out of here while everyone I previously named follow us. Any questions?"
"Can we get paid for this?" the Four asked.
"We're all broke and we never had wages anyways," came the prompt response.
"Nice to meet another me," Sketch said, shaking Ravio's hand. "Again."
"Not exactly unusual for you, I'm guessing," Ravio grinned.
"You have no idea."
"Ravio?" Red asked. "You're a Link too, right?"
"Well... kinda," Ravio allowed.
"Do you wanna come with us?"
Ravio paused, clearly considering the question.
"...No," he said at length. "I don't have the kind of Courage that you guys do, and I'd probably end up holding you back. Plus, well... Hilda needs me here."
He shot a quick glance at his Princess with a little grin on his face. "I've let her think I abandoned her for weeks. It's time I fixed that. And also, Lorule is a bit of a mess, if you haven't noticed."
"I think we might have picked up on a few things here and there, yes," Steam said dryly.
Ravio chuckled. "Well, I'm Lorule's Hero. So it's kinda my job to stick around and be that Hero, yeah?"
"Makes sense to me," Sketch said. "Good luck."
"You too," Ravio replied.
Miraculously, Realm didn't get lost.
The downside of this was now that everyone was quite sure the world was coming to an end. Well, even more than it already was.
Outside of that, the group found the hole without too much trouble and a minimal amount of argument. The actual going through the hole went similarly well, since the Links were so used to the void by now that they hardly even registered.
The problems happened on the other side.
"No no no no no no no no NO NO!" Lore chanted.
"That is a big whale," Wind observed, craning his neck. "Why and how is it flying?"
"I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MONSTROSITY!"
"Is it albino?" Blue asked Vio. "Can whales be albino?"
"Of course whales can be albino," Vio lectured. "Anything can be albino with the right genetics and pigment coloration."
"IT IS NOT THERE, AND I AM NOT SEEING IT!"
"We can hear singing," the Four noted. "Is that the whale?"
"AND I CAN'T HEAR IT EITHER-"
"WE GET IT!" Gen bellowed. "You don't like the Windfish. Too bad!"
"This is gonna be fun," Shadow said with relish.
I'm sorry this took so long. But finals are coming up, and I've been crazy busy preparing for them.
As such, I'm going to postpone the next chapter until AFTER my finals are done. This may result in a three-week wait. I apologize in advance, but as it stands this is my freetime hobby, and I put my schoolwork before my freetime.
Aside from that, boss battle. It was very short, but having changed as much as I have I didn't really have much to work with. On the bright side, Earthbound reference.
Ravio and Hilda's relationship, on the other hand...
Until next time,
Changeling.
Thanks to zelda reborn, icfehr, ShadowPoisonCrystal, chyromyr, Elfe Lunaire, WriteyouCleverGirl, .3, Shinxthinx, Ciel Black018, Undead monkey8, FbFan, Tabac Iberez, The Rocketman, Purple Pork Penguin, CandyLoverChickand gamerman125 for favoriting/following!
The general response to everyone's comments this time was, 'Glad you liked it!' So rather than spelling all that out about twenty times, I'm putting a general reply here.
Glad you liked it!