I was going to do Elytheia, the goddess of childbirth, but I don't think I wanna do it, because I'm honestly running out of ideas for gods. Not sure about Eris either, but if you guys want me to do her story, I'll do it. I've got Rhea, Leto, and Asclepius left on the gods' side, and then…DEMIGODS!

CHAPTER 29: RHEA GOES TO THE MARRIAGE COUNSELOR

Rhea noticed that day—as she walked into the waiting area—that Hestia wasn't there. Hmm, maybe she's sick today, she thought. Nevertheless, she sat down on the bench and read a terrible magazine called Elytheia's Advice: 10 Signs You Might Be Pregnant.

"Hello, Mother Rhea."

Rhea looked up at Demeter, who was holding a clipboard in her hand.

"Hi, Demeter," Rhea replied, setting the magazine down.

"We're ready for you now." And Demeter led Rhea back to the office.

Rhea sat in the dental chair and looked towards the counter, where Hestia was sitting, typing on the computer.

Demeter draped a napkin around Rhea's front and cleared her throat. Hestia jumped slightly and turned around. "Hello, Mother Rhea."

"Hi, honey," Rhea said. "How are my lovely daughters?"

"Fine," they said in unison.

"Mommy," said Demeter, "I have to ask you some questions before we begin."

Rhea knew what this was about, but she let Demeter do her thing. "Go ahead, Dem."

"What did you eat for breakfast?"

"Some waffles with blueberries."

"Well," said Demeter, "at least some of it was healthy. Next question: Triptolemus and I did it last night and I think I'm pregnant. Would I know if I was pregnant?"

Rhea looked at her daughter. "Yes, dear. Why? You feel pregnant? Did you throw up this morning?"

"I threw up last night because I ate some bad chicken," Demeter admitted. "But I digress. Anyway, final question: Where can I find a new green dress, because mine tore."

Rhea thought about all the dress shops on Olympus Demeter could go to. "Try Olympian Chicks, Demeter. I've seen so beautiful dresses in there. Most of them are white, though, so you'll need to look carefully."

Demeter nodded. "Okay, and I assume you want both drugs?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Demeter set out some tools and Hestia wheeled her chair over. Both goddesses snapped on their gloves, put on their masks, and got ready for some…bloody and gory extractions.

"Well," said Hestia, "let's get started, Mommy."

The usual procedure began from there: Rhea got the topical (which was cereal-flavored, courtesy of Demeter), Hestia gave her the four shots of Novocain, and they waited for the drugs to kick in. Oh, yeah, Rhea got the laughing gas, too.

As soon as Hestia was about to grab one of Rhea's wisdom teeth, Rhea sat up. "I forgot something at my treehouse!"

"What is it, Mommy?" Demeter asked, pulling her mask down.

Rhea began to cry. "I left my kitty cat at my treehouse! I forgot to feed it its fish food today!" She continued to cry.

"Mommy," Hestia said gently, "you don't have a kitty cat. I told you, that was a bad dream you had."

"Oh, yeah…" Rhea sat back in the chair and opened her mouth. Hestia grabbed one of the wisdom teeth, gave it a good tug, and out it came! Three teeth later, Demeter gave Rhea some water and Rhea spat it out in the sink.

"You're all finished," Hestia said. "Take these pills with food, Mommy."

Rhea stumbled out of the office and headed down to the mortal world to a wonderful, little place called the marriage counselor's office. A man was sitting at the front desk, so Rhea walked up to him. Rhea's face was packed with gauze, so it sort of looked like she was storing food for the winter. "Hewwo," she said. "My name is Whea and I gots a appointment today."

"Uh…okay," the dude said. "I'll go get Dr. Flagg."

Dr. Flagg called Rhea back into his office, where Rhea sat on the big, red couch.

"So, Rhea," said Dr. Flagg, "tell me what's going on with your marriage. Who is your husband?"

"His name is Stupid Pants!" Rhea screamed. "And he's a dwunk!"

"Well, we'll need to work on that in another session when both of you can make it. What problems have you had with him?"

"He ate my kids!"

Dr. Flagg looked at Rhea. "I'm sorry to hear that Rhea. And how does that make you feel?"

"Hungwy!" Rhea giggled.

"Ms. Rhea," said Dr. Flagg, "I want you to know that cannibalism is strictly frowned upon in society nowadays."

"But I'm a girl Titan," Rhea drooled, dribbling ichor down her shirt. "And I can eat my babies if I want to."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Rhea," said Dr. Flagg. "I'm going to have to send you and your husband to a different therapist. I just can't bear to see people eating their young. I'm sending you to my friend Dr. Moon."

Rhea took the piece of paper, stuck it in her mouth, and chewed it for a bit. "Yummy," she said as she headed out the door back to Olympus.

Apollo couldn't believe he was staring at Rhea (one of the wisest Titans he knew) while she was looped.

"Hi, Dimitwi," Rhea mumbled. "I'm here for my pot!"

"You know, my name's Apollo," Apollo snarled at her. "And I only sell prescription and over-the-counter drugs. Do you have the prescription with you, Rhea?"

"Yep."

Apollo waited for her to get it out. "So…where is it?"

"Right here."

"Right where?"

"In my tummy."

"Oh…now that's a problem," Apollo said. "But I'm assuming—by your drunken and high demeanor—that you just had your wisdom teeth ripped out."

"How did you know that? Are you a god?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Can I get my pot now?"

"Once again, I DON'T SELL POT!" Apollo yelled.

"Oh," Rhea said sadly. "Okay."

Apollo handed her the prescription and Rhea was on her merry way.

In the end, Rhea came around and went back to Apollo because she had a question about the medicine.

"Before I answer this time," said Apollo, "let me review with you what you did in my pharmacy. First of all, you called me Dimitri, when my name is clearly Apollo. Second, I do not sell pot, so stop asking for it. Don't do drugs, Rhea. They are VERY BAD FOR YOU! Finally, you've been taking the wrong dosage. It's one pill a day, not twenty."

"Well," Rhea said, "good thing I didn't take any of them yet."

I'm still doing wisdom teeth surgeries, but I also kind of want to do other dental procedures. Should I do other doctor procedures, too? Maybe I could change the title to "Olympus Medical Center" or something less awkward than that. Let me know what you guys think! I'm doing demigods when I've done the rest of the gods (so a couple more chapters or whatever). Hope you guys are liking the story!