WARNING: MORE SEXUAL STUFF IN HERE!

CHAPTER 30: THE NEW APPOINTMENT BOOK

Hera was sleeping peacefully next to Zeus in their royal bed where they did many other things besides sleep. It was so peaceful and quiet until…

"HERA!"

Hera jolted awake and banged her head on the headboard. "What?!" she barked.

"Get dressed. I'm calling all the gods to the throne room right now. We have dental issues to discuss."

Hera looked at the clock. "It's two in the morning," she snapped. "See? The reason I'm crabby and bitchy all the time is because I lose sleep! I lose sleep, Zeus, because you keep waking me up!" She put on her robe. "I honestly don't know how Rhea stood you as a baby?"

"I was a good baby," said Zeus. "Except that one time I kicked Hyperion in the nuts."

Hera whacked him across the face. "That's quite enough!" She headed downstairs and headed into the throne room.

All the Olympians—and that loser Hades—were present. All of them were looking angry and tired, because Zeus had woken them up from a pleasant slumber.

Zeus got on his throne and called the meeting to order. "All right," he started, "as you know, the surgeries have been a success. But, honestly, as I was looking at some of your mouths, I noticed more problems that needed medical attention."

"What does that mean?" Hera yelled.

"It means that while I was giving you the Novocain, Hera," said Zeus calmly, "I saw all these cavities that needed to be filled."

"Honestly," said Apollo, "I saw the same thing with Ares."

"Like what?" Ares barked.

"Like there's this one tooth that needs a root canal," Apollo replied, yawning. "Can we hurry this up? I need my sleep so I can make haikus as I'm driving over the world with my beautiful chariot."

"Well, no one's teeth can be as bad as Hades'," said Demeter angrily. "When he came in for his extraction, I asked him some health questions. He doesn't brush well, he doesn't floss…the list goes on. Finally, my favorite god Trippy filled TEN CAVITIES! Oh, and Hades doesn't eat cereal every morning for breakfast, the naughty little kidnapper!"

"Needless to say," said Zeus pointedly, "there has been a change in plans. We'll still be finishing up the rest of the procedures on your wisdom teeth, but we'll also be treating other dental problems."

"Does that include cleanings?" asked Hera.

"Yes," said Zeus. "Why?"

"Hebe needs one."

"Well, at any rate," Zeus said, "here is the new appointment book. Book anything you'd like in there, and get your kids in, too."

"Can our kids help with some of the procedures?" asked Apollo.

"If you think they can behave," said Zeus. "Then that's fine with me."

"Yes, Aphrodite?" Hera said.

"Do you do gynecology here?" she said.

"No," said Zeus, smirking, "although I'd probably be really good at it."

To make a long story short, Hera didn't talk to Zeus for three days. By that time, Zeus had told Aphrodite that they didn't do gynecological stuff on Olympus…she'd have to go to the mortal world for that one.

TWO DAYS LATER IN ZEUS' PALACE…

Zeus and Hera were looking at their family calendar.

"Well," said Zeus, "you could get your cavities filled on Friday. How does that work?"

"Uh…" Hera checked her phone. "Yeah. Yeah, that's fine."

"Great. I'll make you the appointment."

"Could you not be my dentist again, Zeus? I don't like you when you're my dentist. Actually, I take that back. I don't like you in general."

"Uh…that was mean, but I'm used to this verbal abuse. You know, honey, that's why we fight all the time and I get romantic with all those mortals."

Yeah, I know, it was a crappy chapter, but I got my point across. I hope you guys like the ideas.