(Don't actually have anything witty to say up here, I'll figure it out later)

WELL. I am HIGHLY offended.

(GAH! Universe, this – these are my notes! Get out of my notes!)

I think not, I have every right to be everywhere at once.

(But I don't have anything witty! This is supposed to be my placeholder until I actually DO have something!)

Your loss. Now, the author does not own the Legend of Zelda. I assume I would normally be dictated to say something humorous about your inability to actually own this franchise, but since you apparently have no inspiration right now I shall simply leave it at that.

(You aren't supposed to be using this! They're PLACEHOLDERS! None of this is supposed to be put online-! ...this is already online, isn't it.)

Eeyup.

(CURSE YOU UNIVERSE!)

"I told you I was gonna take a nap, Link," Navi yawned. "I thought we agreed that explosions and screaming be kept to a minimum when... I... you're not Link."

"I'm not your Link, no," Dusk agreed. "But I am a Link. Yours is underneath you."

"Oh," Navi said, processing this. "Well... thanks."

"My pleasure."

Navi started her wings and flew down to hover in front of Ocarina's face. "Link, back to my point about the napping thing – what happened to you?"

"Accidentally put the Master Sword back, got tricked into letting Ganondorf put a barrier around it, can't get back," Ocarina summarized hesitantly. "Navi, we-"

"YOU DID WHAT!?" Navi screeched. "How could you be so careless! You let the King of Evil trick you into your child form!? And for that matter, WHERE WAS I WHEN THAT HAPPENED!?"

"You were asleep," Dusk informed her helpfully. "You've actually been asleep for a few months, give or take a week."

"Thank you," Navi said, nodding to him. Then she did a double take. "I'm sorry, this only just occurred to me, but who the HECK are you!?"

"Link. Call me Dusk for convenience's sake."

"Navi, meet me from another time period," Ocarina chipped in. "Also, meet fifteen more of me – and yes, I know Shadow's here, he's sixty-percent friendly now. Oh, and meet literal me, from about three years from now."

Navi stared as Mask waved cheerfully, the rest of the Links chorused 'Hello's, and Shadow somehow communicated a greeting death threat despite having all six of his current hands occupied.

"...I take one nap and look what you go and do," Navi sighed, shaking her... glow, affectionately. "Alright, what did you break and how far are we from fixing it?"

"Why do you automatically assume I broke something?" Ocarina protested.

"Need I remind you of your fantastically fickle luck when it comes to these things? Ruto still thinks you're her fiancee."

"...Theoretically, I acthually might be able to make that a plauthible match now," Mask mused. "Do you know how sthe feelth about muthicianth?"

"Absolutely not," Ocarina hissed.

"Jutht kidding... heh..."

"Oh my goodness you are absolutely adorable," Navi said slowly. "I think I'm going to melt."

"Navi, that'th disthguthting."

Navi did the fairy approximation of blinking. "Have we been introduced?"

"Navi, this is literally me," Ocarina said. "He's the one from three years from now."

"...Link," Navi began. "I know this whole 'Not a Kokiri' thing is still a bit new, and I know you haven't had the most experience with the aging process, but when people are smaller than you, that typically means they are younger."

"I know that!" Ocarina retorted. "Look, he's me continuing on from age nine after we apparently beat Ganondorf."

"I'm thuppothed to be twelve," Mask added helpfully.

Slow comprehension was dawning on Navi. "So... you're all supposed to be seven years older?"

"Yep."

"Pretty much."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

"More or less."

"We're still getting used to it."

"We've actually had weirder, if you'll believe it," Dusk said, finishing the impromptu sound-off.

Navi stared, this time actually taking in the vast amount of green-clothed boys, small children, and toddlers. And Shadow.

"...Oh," she said in a small voice.

And then she passed out.

"...Well, that could've gone better," Ocarina sighed, carefully returning Navi to the safety underneath his hat.

"But it also could've gone a lot worse," Gen reminded him. "Remember when Midna had a 'talk' with Ciela? And remember how Tatl reacted by physically beating Mask into an apology?"

"...Good point."

They were abruptly stopped from continuing that conversation as Shadow finally lost his temper.

"I AM DONE HOLDING YOU PEOPLE!" He roared, all but dropping the Four on the ground. This caused the synchronized Links to burst into tears again, adding to the already significant volume of Shadow's yelling voice and making the dark Link even more annoyed in the process. "STOP DOING THAT!"

Dusk narrowed his eyes, calmly handed Blue to Gen, and proceeded to confront Shadow in one of his closer displays to actual anger.

"Shadow."

"WHAT!"

"Pick them up."

"Look, I may tolerate being around you people, and I tolerate a lot, but I refuse to be a pack mule!"

"You're the only one who's physically capable of keeping them together."

"And how do we know that separating them is a bad idea?"

Dusk's face set itself, and he reached down to where the Four were still crying.

"Sorry," he said to them, then picked up the violet member and lifted him up away from the other three.

Both the crying and the volume levels abruptly and jarringly increased by a factor of twelve.

"PUT HIM BACK!" Shadow – and everyone else for that matter – yelled frantically, and let out a relieved sigh when the crying returned to the normal level. "Alright... I see your point there. But I can't keep carrying all Four of them the way I've been! I have limits like everyone else, manifesting other limbs gets tiring."

Dusk frowned thoughfully. "What if you formed a carrier instead?"

"Eh?"

"Swaddle them."

Shadow tilted his head. "So... like this?"

In a physically questionable series of movements, Shadow picked up the Four, moved them to his back, and wrapped them cocoon-style in a long black fabric that seemed to be spawning straight from his clothes, wrapping around his shoulders and torso to make the toddlers as secure as possible.

"Exactly like that," Dusk approved. "How long can you hold it?"

"This? This is just clothes, so... pretty much indefinitely. It's things like limbs and complete form change that take it out of me."

"Good. This solve your problem?"

Shadow tested his movements for a minute, the swinging motions making the Four bounce and giggle on his back. "...It's a little clumsy, but far better than holding them all up front. I'll deal."

"Thank you," Dusk told him, then walked back to Gen and reclaimed Blue, which made his half-leader gasp in relief. Holding two toddlers in two arms got really heavy after a while.

"...So now that that's settled," Ocarina said slowly, "we've still got the overnight problem. All those for the Kokiri Forest?"

There was a general mumbling of agreement.

"Right. Okay." Ocarina took a deep breath. "When we get there, please let me do the talking. The Kokiri know me, and if I say you're with me they should probably accept you. Mostly."

With that, Ocarina set off walking, leading the way out across the drawbridge and into Hyrule Field, where everyone started the long trek towards the woods. It was a long and involved process, mostly because the Links who were toddlers couldn't keep up as well as they normally would. And while everyone tried to keep the crying instinct under control, there were a few instances where control was just not good enough.

As such, the overall trip took multiple hours.

"So that's the Forest," Lore noted, readjusting Speck for the umpteenth time. "I don't like it."

"Why not?" Ocarina asked dryly. Lore examined it intensely – although there wasn't much to see as the sun was going down – then shrugged.

"There's not enough round things."

"But it's a woods, those don't – you know what, never mind," Ocarina sighed. "Just follow me, step where I step, and somebody WATCH REALM or we're never going to find him. And I mean that literally."

"I'm not that bad!" Realm protested half-heartedly, in the nature of someone beginning to acknowledge that he actually was that bad and resigning himself to it in an amused fashion. Of course, the fact that everybody informed him that yes, he was, even the three-year-old Speck, helped to cement this idea. And Wind, after giving Lore a 'Behave' look, dropped his hand and took Realm's instead.

"You need me," he said resolutely.

And with that, the Links set off into the forest.

The Kokiri Village actually wasn't all the far off from the edge of the woods, but the sheer amount of twists, turns, and time involved in navigating said twists and turns made it seem much farther in, as well as the fact that the sky was really dark now. And shockingly, Realm managed to not get lost.

This may have been because Wind had ended up recruiting literally everyone but Shadow to keep an eye on the wayward Link alongside him, and with so many eyes watching him Realm couldn't even manage to look in the wrong direction without someone noticing. It also helped that, while the Kokiri Forest was confusing, it wasn't actually the Lost Woods as of yet.

Still, it took a few hours before the group finally found the clearing of the Kokiri Village. In fact, it was practically the middle of the night.

"We're here," Ocarina announced, tiredly. There was something about carrying a small child that was absolutely exhausting, and Ocarina was struggling to keep his grip. In fact, the only people who didn't seem to be struggling with their grip were Dusk, who seemed to know exactly how to hold his toddler without getting tired, and Shadow, who didn't actually have a grip anyways.

There was also Realm, but he was Realm. He didn't count.

"Can we sit down?" Gen panted. "I don't... think I've got as much stamina... as I used to."

"No wonder I'm so tired," Lore realized. "I'm nine. I completely forgot about that for a minute."

Ocarina suddenly realized that they'd walked what basically amounted to several miles, which would have been tiring even when they were all seven years older.

"Ah... whoops," he said sheepishly. "Sorry guys... I should've called for a break or something earlier."

"Hey, we didn't notice either," Realm said, who for some reason was still not tired. "This is new to basically everyone."

"Still... I should have noticed."

"Since it's a bit late for that, how about a place to spend the night instead?" Dusk suggested tactfully.

"I can do that," Ocarina agreed gratefully. "My house is the third on the left. Since we're all smaller we should be able to fit on the floor without too much trouble, and hopefully we won't draw too much attention. Whatever else we need to deal with can be handled after we rest."

"I agree with that!" Lore said happily. "It's been at least two days since I've had a nap and I need to catch up on my schedule."

"The last time we took naps was when we got the stuffing beat out of us by a Dragon, a Spider, and a Pig," Gen reminded him dryly.

"Exactly!"

"Keep it down!" Ocarina hissed. "We're still going to have to explain ourselves to the Kokiri and I don't have a good alibi yet!"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

Ocarina sighed. "Yeah, I know... just walk quietly, and we'll introduce ourselves in the morning."

Because it was dark, the Links weren't quite as quiet as they wanted to be and more than one person stumbled over... something. Then there was the ladder, made all the more intimidating by the fact that people were holding toddlers. And then there was the furniture inside the house itself, which was inconveniently not lit and resulted in a lot of stubbed toes.

But eventually, everybody got themselves sorted and organized on the floor, more or less, and promptly fell asleep. Even Shadow was tired, although he would later deny having ever been unconscious in the first place.

Ocarina woke up to a ringing in his ear, which he quickly realized was not actually ringing but was in fact Navi shouting at him through his hat. He immediately let her out in order to relieve his eardrums.

"Finally," Navi complained, shooting up to hover a few feet above the floor. "It was getting really stuffy in there... Link, I had the weirdest dream. You were a child again, and there was another one of you, and there were also multiple extras, and..."

She trailed off as Ocarina dryly raised an eyebrow and pointed to his left, where Mask, Wind, and Realm were sprawled on top of each other and lightly snoring.

"...Oh," Navi said in a small voice. "So... all that actually happened?"

"Yep," Ocarina said.

"...Okay," Navi acknowledged slowly. "This... okay. I can deal with this."

"Great," Ocarina sighed in relief. "Because I could really use your help thinking up an excuse to tell the rest of the Kokiri about the guys, I'm completely blank."

Navi hovered in place, thinking. "How about the truth?"

"I told you the truth and you passed out," Ocarina reminded her. "I tell Mido the truth, who knows what he'll do."

"...That's a valid point," Navi conceded. "I didn't see much of your relationship with him back when I first met you, but I got the impression he doesn't like you very much."

"That would be a severe understatement," Ocarina muttered.

"Friends from Castle Town?" Navi suggested.

"Somehow I think telling Mido that I brought Hylian strangers into the Forest might be worse than telling him the truth."

Navi let out a sigh. "Then I've got nothing."

A yawn from Mask alerted them to the fact that the rest of the Links were waking up. Said Links then promptly joined in on the conversation.

"We could go find Tharia before anybody elthe notitheth," Mask suggested. "She'th the authority now that the Great Deku Tree'th gone, right?"

"That could work, actually," Ocarina said thoughtfully. "But if she's not in her house, then we're in for a horrible time."

"Why's that?" Navi asked. "You've lived here all your life, it's not like you don't know where you're going."

"I'm not the problem," Ocarina told her. "Realm's the problem. He can get lost within ten steps."

"Er... six, actually," Realm corrected sheepishly.

"My point exactly."

"Well, maybe you'll get lucky," Navi said optimistically. "It's still early, she's probably still asleep. You'll be fine."

"Navi," Ocarina said conversationally. "In the future, please refrain from saying optimistic things. You're a magnet for jinxes."

Saria's house was empty. When Ocarina looked away and back, it stubbornly remained empty. It did not bode well.

"Lotht Woodth?" Mask asked resignedly.

"Lost Woods," Ocarina confirmed.

Wind firmly grabbed Realm's hand in preparation.

"Okay," Ocarina announced to the group. "I'm seventy-percent positive I remember the way to Saria's favorite spot. Do not under any circumstances decide to go exploring. There is a reason it's named the Lost Woods and I'm not in the mood for any of you to find that reason out. Just follow me, and everything should work out fine."

This was all well and good in context, but unfortunately for the group, Realm managed to vanish in the very first connecting log. Ironically, it had taken exactly six steps.

"...Dangit," Ocarina moaned.

Realm, meanwhile, had absolutely no idea what had just happened. He was positive that he'd followed the group, but there'd been this one dark patch, and he'd stumbled and lost Wind's hand, and he thought he'd continued in the right direction...

Clearly though, the lack of excess Links said otherwise.

Okay then... maybe they'd gone this way.

He walked through the right-hand log and came out in a clearing that looked remarkably like the clearing he'd just been in. Slightly confused, Realm turned around, immediately forgot which log he'd come out of, and chose the one on his left. Going through that one led to another clearing, which happened to look a lot like the one he'd just left, which in turn had looked a lot like the one he'd started in.

Now genuinely confused, Realm went straight to try and keep his bearings. This resulted in another clearing which looked a lot like the previous one, which looked like the one before that, which looked like the one before that. This only confused the Link more, and after turning in a puzzled circle – and completely losing which direction he'd come from again – just picked the direction he was facing and went in it.

This clearing looked a whole lot like the previous one, with the notable exception of a conspicuous rock. Unfortunately, Realm didn't know if this rock meant anything, and, deciding it probably didn't matter anyways, chose another random direction and walked.

This went on for about five more minutes, during which Realm went through a numerous amount of oddly identical clearings, spun in circles, chose random directions, and found more oddly identical clearings. He had absolutely no idea where he was going anymore, but since this was a fairly normal thing for him he wasn't all that concerned. He saved concern for the three-month mark, when he would run out of replacement shields and into a horde of Like-Likes.

He'd lost count of how many times that had happened.

So with that mindset, Realm walked through yet another log – and was met with a green-haired girl playing an ocarina.

"...That's new," Realm decided.

The green-haired girl paused at the sound of his voice and looked up. "Oh, hello," she said, smiling. "I've never seen you before... how did you get here?"

"I legitimately don't know," Realm told her. "I was with some friends and I think I lost them somewhere... we were looking for someone named Saria?"

"That's me," the girl – Saria – said. "Why were you looking for me?"

"Well, my friend, Oca- er, Link-"

"You know Link?" Saria exclaimed. "Oh, I bet he met you outside the forest, that's so exciting! Wait, this means he's back doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Realm said. "And I should probably go tell him I found you. Wait here a minute, I should only be about six hours or so."

With that, he turned around and left, leaving Saria slightly confused as she processed his words.

"Where could he have gone?" Ocarina complained. "The Lost Woods are only so big, he can't possibly be lost forever!"

"We should probably keep looking though," Dusk said. "You know him, the odds of him finding us are astronomical. We're much better off looking ourselves."

"True," Ocarina agreed, leading the way through the next fallen log.

Five minutes later, a very lost and confused Realm wandered through the same clearing, randomly taking whichever log was in front of him. Two logs later found him back in the clearing with Saria, with absolutely no idea how he'd done it and a blatant lack of anybody with him.

"Er... did you find them?" Saria asked politely.

"Nope," Realm said, staring at her. "How did I get here?"

"You came through the entrance," Saria said helpfully.

"I know that," Realm said absently. "I mean, how did I get here? I wasn't even trying..."

"Maybe it was a fluke?" Saria suggested.

"Yeah! Maybe I'm getting better!" Realm agreed enthusiastically. "I'm gonna try to find the guys again. Wish me luck!"

He turned and plunged back into the Woods before Saria could respond, leaving her to shrug in confusion and resume playing her ocarina.

Realm quickly discovered that he seemed completely incapable of finding anybody but Saria. No matter which way he went, sooner or later he always ended up back in her clearing. The most notable example was Attempt Number Twelve, which had lasted approximately seventeen seconds and three clearings before Realm ended up right back where he'd started. He was honestly beginning to get annoyed; being lost was something he was used to, he even considered it normal. This was not his usual way of getting lost. This was somehow ending up at the solution whether he wanted to or not.

Saria, for her part, had stopped greeting Realm around the twentieth try and simply watched him go in and out. She even started playing a game with herself, trying to guess how long it would be before he came back this time.

The main group of Links, on the other hand, were systematically attempting to search every clearing in the Woods to find Realm. Unfortunately, due to Realm's misdirectional capabilities, this more often than not resulted in them missing him by mere minutes. Eventually, Ocarina just resigned himself to the inevitable and led them all to Saria's place.

"He'll either end up here or back at the entrance," Ocarina said tiredly. "Eventually."

So the Links, holding their toddlers in one arm and their small children in the other, trudged through the last log and into the clearing Saria was sitting in.

"Link!" Saria said, happily. "Did your friend find you?"

Ocarina paused. "...what friend?"

"Well, he had brown hair and a green tunic, and he seemed a bit confused. I think he might be conflicting with the Lost Woods' magic," she confided. "He keeps ending up back here."

"...You're kidding me," Ocarina said numbly.

At that point, Realm walked through the log, saw Saria, and groaned to himself.

"There's something wrong with me, I swear," he muttered, turning – and stopping, as he caught sight of the group.

"Hey guys!" he greeted, bad mood dissipating instantly. "When'd you get here?"

"About thirty seconds ago," Gen said slowly. "When did you get here?"

Realm thought about that. "Well... the last time I was here was about three minutes ago. Then I was here about seven minutes before that, then two minutes before that, thirty seconds before that, five minutes before that, one minute before-"

"We get it," Lore interrupted. "New question. How many times have you gotten here?"

Realm took a minute to think about that. "Umm... thirty or so? More?"

"Thirty-seven," Saria supplied.

"I tried to find you guys, but I kept ending up back here," Realm complained. "It got kind of annoying..."

"Every time I think I've got you figured out," Dusk sighed.

"Er... Link," Saria said, now getting a good look at the multitude of boys standing in front of her. "Why are there so many of you?"

Ocarina exchanged a glance with Navi, who fluttered forward a few feet.

"You'll want to be sitting down for this one," she advised.

"...And that's the general gist," Ocarina finished. He'd left out the complicated bits like the time travel and the future knowledge and stuck with the only-slightly-less-complicated explanation of, 'they're all me from another dimension'. And to her credit, Saria took it surprisingly well.

"We used to live under the direction of a giant talking tree," she said, shrugging. "The world is weird."

"Agreed," Ocarina said fervently. "But aside from that... we need your help. The guys and I need a place to stay until we can move on and this was the only place I could think of, but Mido..."

"Say no more," Saria said firmly. "I've been meaning to find a good reason to tell him off anyways. He's gotten a bit too big for his own britches since he took the job of 'Forest Protector' onto himself. Apparently, there was only one person fit for the position now that the Great Deku Tree was gone, and guess who that was?"

"How bad can it be?" Navi asked diplomatically.

"Remember how he used to guard the entrance to the Great Deku Tree? Well, now he does it to all the exits. And he's even more fanatical about it."

"...Okay, yeah, that's pretty bad," Navi agreed,

"That's why I was up so early," Saria explained, standing up and leading the way out into the Woods. "If I want any sort of alone time at all, I have to beat Mido to the punch. Trying to leave while he's awake is a nightmare."

"If he's really this bad, why haven't you confronted him about it before?" Ocarina asked.

"I was hoping it was a phase..."

Sure enough, Mido was waiting at the exit to the Lost Woods and immediately demanded to know when, where, how, and why they'd managed to get past him. Then he caught sight of Ocarina and immediately abandoned his previous questions in favor of demanding to know when the Fairyless had gotten back and why nobody had told him, the Forest Protector, about it. Then he noticed the rest of the Links and moved to demanding to know why there were strangers in the Village, who had thought it was a good idea to let strangers in, why all the strangers looked like Fairyless, and what was Fairyless doing back anyways, he was banished for killing the Great Deku Tree! And from the looks of things, Mido would have just kept going.

If Saria hadn't unleashed her wrath, that is.

If there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was somebody picking on Link. And Mido, unfortunately for him, had just done so. Saria started with the classic 'How dare you blame Link for something he clearly didn't do!', moved on to, 'These people are Link's friends and if he wants to show them his home he has every right!', used that to segue into 'I can't believe how you treat the people around you!', and ended with 'And you need to stop being such a stuck-up brat or else nobody is going to like you!' before getting right into the actual duties of the 'Forest Protector' title and thoroughly informing Mido of what he was and wasn't doing and how poorly his behavior was reflecting on the Great Deku Tree, who was probably rolling in his compost at this very moment.

At the end of it, Mido was understandably shell-shocked. So were the Links.

"...Oh dear, I overdid that didn't I," Saria said, blushing. "I'm sorry. How about we all just go home and have some tea?"

"Tea sounds nice," Dusk agreed vaguely.

Everyone went and had some tea.

Afterwards...

"How was that?" Saria asked, smiling. "Good enough of a distraction?"

"Great distraction," Ocarina told her. "We're grateful, really."

Saria gave him a resigned look. "When are you leaving?"

Ocarina did a spit take with his tea, which he'd actually been quite enjoying up until that exact moment. "How-?"

"I'm your best childhood friend, I can read you like a book," Saria said. "Also, your loud friend over there has been 'subtly' complaining about it for the past fifteen minutes.

Ocarina sighed. "Thanks Lore."

"You're welcome!"

"Yeah... probably within the next fifteen minutes or so," Ocarina admitted. "We really just needed a place to spend the night, and possibly any coming nights, and you just took care of all that for us. Thanks for that, by the way."

"He had it coming," Saria said by way of acceptance. "Do you know when you'll be back?"

Ocarina opened his mouth, frowned, then leaned down to whisper in Mask's ear. Mask gave a grinning eye-roll and whispered something back, at which point Ocarina stood up and said," Next week."

Saria blinked. "Really? I was expecting something longer..."

"Mask... er... can see the future."

"We'll – I mean, he'll be back right after we fikth the Univerthe," Mask added. "That tranthlateth to nektht week becauthe Time Travel."

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing..."

"The world is weird, just go with it," Ocarina told her, knowingly repeating her words from earlier. "And thanks. Again."

"Good luck with whatever it is you're doing," Saria responded, looking mildly confused but clearly accepting the situation. "Oh, but before you go, you might want to find your lost friend."

"You mean Realm?" Ocarina clarified. "He's not lost, he's over with the rest of the group, right... over... there..."

The three children looked over to see Wind with an absolutely dumbfounded look on his face, Dusk heaving a resigned sigh, Gen facepalming, and Shadow shrugging cheerfully and saying, "I think he was going to get a drink or something..."

"...Dangit," Ocarina muttered.

"...This is not where I was trying to go," Realm decided.

He was, somehow, in the middle of the Lost Woods, in exactly the spot that Saria had been sitting. Realm frowned, turned, and marched back out with a determined stride and a goal in his head – and six minutes later, found himself right back in the exact same clearing.

"Okay, seriously?" Realm asked the trees, not that they gave him an answer. "I'm trying to leave!"

He stalked back into the forest and deliberately went as straight as he possibly could – and still found himself back in that same clearing, albeit with the notable difference of three extra minutes.

"There's nothing here to find!" Realm yelled to the air. "Why won't you let me leave?"

He received nothing verbal in response, but he got the distinct impression that the forest was just as confused as he was.

'You want me to do what, exactly?'

'Send me back seven years to where I have set a trap for the little Heroes. I would do it myself, but... well, the local means do not particularly take kindly to me.'

Demise thought this statement over for a minute.

'You seem significantly more prepared for your confrontation than some... others I could think of.'

'He means me!' Zant chipped in suddenly. 'I was an absolutely terrible planner! Didn't factor in anything, just wanted to wear Peahats!'

'SHUT UP, ZANT,' All the other villains in Demise's head suddenly chorused.

'All of you, ZIP IT!' Demise bellowed. 'I am trying to have a strategy session with one of the few incarnations who hasn't failed yet, and you are getting in my way!'

'...Having trouble, are we?'

'Not one word, you oversized piece of discolored pork. You haven't succeeded in doing anything yet, and until you do I have zero obligations to you. I am, however, willing to grant your request as it seems you have actually thought things through, though it shocks me. Seven years, you said?'

'That is correct.'

'Consider it done. Though I must ask, what do you plan on doing with your previous self? The 'local methods' as you put it, work differently from my abilities, and I do not think the you of the past will take kindly to another him... if my recent experience in the situation is anything to judge by.'

There was a rumbling of general agreement from the rest of the assorted villains. While they tolerated each other out of the fact that none of them could leave, Twilight Ganondorf still thought Hyrule Ganon was an imbecile, Lorule Ganon was a simpleton, Original Ganon was... forgettable, Oracle Ganon was primitive, and Ocean Ganondorf was a wimp. Of course, they all thought the same thing about him, so... it all balanced out.

'Let's just say that I have a very large rock and some... anger issues to work out.'

Demise let out a chuckle. 'Have fun with that. Void opening... now.'

Forty minutes later, the Links had retrieved Realm from the Lost Woods again, and after thanking Saria one last time, gathered all their toddlers and set out for Hyrule again. Luckily, Mask and Ocarina knew where Ganondorf was supposed to be; Hyrule Castle, masquerading as a trustworthy advisor to the King. And as such, the Links had a destination.

The journey itself, since it was taking place during the day and was thus not filled with the swarming of Stalchildren, was largely uneventful. Realm only got lost in the Hyrule Field once, which was normal. Shadow did something concerning, which was also normal. And Ocarina and Mask, upon seeing a very large owl, simultaneously shot it down with their slingshots while Navi shoved a Deku Nut into it's beak. All three of them proceeded to completely ignore bird's attempts to communicate and marched the rest of the group past with the advice of, "Don't make eye contact and we might yet escape with our sanity."

This was not normal, as far as everyone but Shadow was concerned. But the nearly identical look of annoyance-terror on the Hero(es) of Time and their fairy's faces were enough to convince the group that, yes, this owl was in fact worth the reaction.

Aside from that though... uneventful.

However, this was immediately turned upside down when the Links finally reached the Castle Town and discovered everybody running and screaming. The cause for this was immediately apparent, as there were two Ganondorfs duking it out with each other in the middle of the square.

One of them was holding a very large rock. He also seemed to be significantly angrier.

"...Does this make sense to anybody else?" Gen asked slowly.

"Nope," the rest of the group chorused.

"Right. Just checking."

Both Ganondorfs glanced up at their voices, and the Links found themselves on the receiving end of two extremely hateful glares. Then the one with the rock took advantage of the distraction and whacked his counterpart upside the head with said rock, knocking him out cold.

"Thank you," the conscious one said genially, lowering the rock. "He wasn't too keen on listening to my explanation, and it's surprisingly hard to fight yourself, I've discovered. I suppose I ought to congratulate you on that point, what with your success in the Water Temple and all."

At the mention of that, Shadow erupted into a mass of very pointy pokey things... and four safely-swaddled toddlers. "That's him," he growled. "Oh, that's definitely him."

"Shadow," Dusk warned.

"I know!" Shadow snapped. "Now's not a good time, we've been through this. I'm just saying it's actually him this time. Not a projection or anything."

"Both of me are me," Ganondorf explained badly. "But for your purposes... I am the one who lured you into the Temple and caused the state you are in now. That me," he pointed to the one on the ground, "hasn't done so as of yet."

He frowned in thought, then waved a hand and spawned an impenetrable forcefield around the Ganondorf that was out cold.

"Well I have to keep track of him somehow," he explained to the Links. "Can't have me running off and causing problems... I might ruin all my carefully laid plans."

His somewhat-friendly smile turned terrifying. "And oh, the plans I have for you, little heroes."

"I'm thinking," Dusk remarked casually, "that we should consider a tactical retreat. All in favor?"

"Heroes don't retreat, that's dishonorable!" Gen argued. Dusk gave him a flat look and pointed at Hyrule Ganondorf with his free hand. Said villain was now spinning a magic projectile and building up to a properly dramatic evil laugh. Dusk then made a sweeping motion at the group, most of whom were far too young to have the arm strength necessary to hold a sword, much less fight with it. He ended with a raised eyebrow and a silently shouted 'Really?'

"...Although this situation may call for an exception," Gen admitted.

"Just do what I do," Lore said cheerfully. "Live in denial. We're not retreating, we're advancing in a different direction!"

"Then let's advance that way," Ocarina said hastily, pointing in the opposite direction of Ganondorf.

And everyone sprinted.

Ganondorf fight next. And I've managed to write myself into a situation where over half the Links are too young to fight.

...Oh well, the opportunity was far too good to pass up anyways. Here's hoping I can do it justice.

Aside from that, Navi woke up, and Realm got lost. Kinda filler-y, but you would not BELIEVE how many requests for Realm-in-the-Lost-Woods I got. After a fan response like that, I kinda had to make it happen.

Until next time,

Changeling

Thanks to WisteriaEmu, Ataxian Kaos, GodlyShipper, AnimeandGameFanGirl, abbydobbie, TheLastSonOfPluto, King Dave of Blingees, and Hybrid-Destroyer for favoriting/following!

Rockster: I apologize in advance for the length of this response. Now... Ocarina is specifically stated to be sixteen on OoT, I checked. I generally consider Mask to be twelve, giving him a few years in between adventures. I'm aware Realm has a bit of a plot hole, but it's my general opinion that his directional sense is so bad that it's taken him a couple years to get to where he is now, being fourteen. The only clue I had for Wind was a 'Coming of Age' ceremony in Wind Waker, which I interpreted to mean 'Becoming a teenager' I then added a year for the Phantom Hourglass, making him thirteen. Lore... I just assumed he was sixteen. It seemed like a logical conclusion given his 4+ adventures. Dusk was specifically stated to be seventeen during TP, I checked that too. Same for Gen, which I also checked. Since Steam only had one adventure as opposed to Wind's two, and it seemed that the country was still operating on the 'Coming of Age' thing, I assumed that made him twelve. Sketch... general opinion seems to say fourteen. And Shadow... well, Shadow's more-or-less a few centuries old by now, but he's a free shapeshifter so it doesn't even matter. / And of course you can vote for your Link, why wouldn't you be able to? And yes, Shadow's an option. / Well, I actually think pure Grass Types are kind of glass cannons, but lately the other choices have been... less than stellar. So Grass I choose.

The has-been who never will-be: I'm fine, thank you for asking. / I think they went pretty well. I know I've at least passed the classes :) / I actually don't like soda. Can't stand the carbonation. Can I be sweet tea instead? / Ha! Because he's a boar... and Link's a wolf... that is amusing. / And yes, I actually have read Wolves of the Beyond, but only to about the third book or so because I couldn't access the library for a while. I did, however read all of Laskey's previous series, the Guardians of Ga'Hoole.

Chariot's Cave: Okay... I've got a couple guesses. LordOfGaming, or Talon? And if none of those are right... then I'm clearly terrible at this game.

Guest: The fact that you're trying to convince me has actually convinced me to make Koholint into a plot point for the sequel. Well, that and the fact that you're not the first person to ask, by any means.

Zyrex: You don't think the Great Fairy joke is overdone? I mean, I could give it a shot, but I don't know how I would make their freakout stand out from all the other freakouts. / And of course you can give your opinion. Reader suggestions are welcomed and occasionally incorporated!