Me: O, Athena, goddess of wisdom—

Athena: WHAT, MORTAL?!

Me: Please allow me to write another chapter involving you at the dentist!

Athena: Fine!

And here's another god chapter…sorry, I know I promised whoever was supposed to be next. I will focus on more demigods/dead people next time. STILL IN NEED OF OCTAVIAN! Luke and he are going to be together!

I own nothing, and I had to look up synonyms to make myself sound like Athena when I was writing her out, so there you go.

And as always, thanks so much for the reviews, guys! And this one came from Owlion12 for giving me the Athena idea!

CHAPTER 48: HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

Athena walked into her palace to find Hermes standing on her table, doing some terrible dance that no one cares about.

"Get off my table," Athena demanded. "How unwise of you!"

"Just wanted to drop this off with you," Hermes said. He jumped off the table and handed Athena a card.

Time for your cleaning! Your fun-filled cleaning awaits! Please make your appointment now before all the good gods are taken (and you don't get Hera or Demeter)!

Athena glared at her half-brother. "Thank you, Hermes. Get out."

"Okay."

Hermes skipped out of the palace and Athena ran to her phone. She quickly dialed the number to the Olympus Medical Center and tapped her fingers on the counter as she waited for someone to answer because she was impatient that way.

Finally, Artemis answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Artemis. This is Athena. I need an appointment for my cleaning, so can you get me in soon?"

"I sure can," Artemis replied. "Uh…are you available tomorrow morning at ten?"

Athena looked at her calendar and sighed. Tomorrow was her one day of the week she could chill and relax. "Yes…yes, that's fine," she replied.

"Perfect. I'll let someone know and they'll be there waiting for you."

"You're not doing it?"

"Nope. I am heading to the deep, dark woods to do hunter stuff with my Hunters. And then we shall go into the hot springs where no gods are to spy on us."

"That's great, Art," said Athena bitterly. "Thank you for scheduling me."

"No problem."

The next morning, Athena was sitting in the dentist chair, looking up at her father. You're probably thinking Zeus is doing the procedure, right? WRONG! Zeus was assisting. Hephaestus, who still had a thing for her, was doing the procedure. He thought that if Athena had a good appointment, he'd be in a good mood, and Athena would say yes to coming to his house later for dinner.

"So," said Zeus, "Athena, we're going to look at your teeth and clean them, blah, blah, blah…any questions?"

As Athena was getting her teeth cleaned, Hephaestus stopped what he was doing and glanced at Athena, who shut her mouth tightly and glared at him. "Yes, Hephaestus? It is not wise of you to stop the procedure when you were about to finish."

"Houston, we have a problem," Hephaestus said dramatically.

"Ha, ha," Zeus chuckled. "I found that rather droll."

"What is it?" Athena demanded. "I need to go do architecture blueprints. I'm designing statues and helping Annabeth and—"

"Houston, we still have a problem," said Hephaestus, picking up a hand mirror and handing it to Athena. "See this? That's a cavity, Houston. And see this one right here? That's another cavity, Houston. We'll have to operate right away if you want to live."

Athena decided enough was enough. She promptly ruined the mood by snarling, "Hephaestus, my name is Athena. Houston is a city in Texas. Secondly, I am immortal, which means I will not be able to die if you do not operate immediately."

"Way to ruin the fun, Athena," said Hephaestus, leaning the chair back a little further.

"Yeah," Zeus said. "Hera would've found that rather droll, too."

"Are you just saying that word to sound smarter?" Hephaestus asked, giving Athena some cherry-flavored topical and getting ready to give her the shots.

"Well, last night, I wanted to prove that I was smarter than Hestia, so I had her over for dinner. And after I had my nightly cup of nectar-flavored coffee, I pulled out this thing called a dictionary. After I murdered all the dust bunnies on it, I opened the book and it came to the word droll, so I told Hestia about it and we quizzed each other on big words."

As Hephaestus was about to give her the shot, Athena held up her hand abruptly. "How is this possible? I brush and floss five times a day! I rinse with mouthwash three times a day! This is soooo unwise!"

"Do you think it's unwise to be obsessively cleaning your teeth every five minutes?" asked Zeus.

"No. I think it's perfectly reasonable!"

"Just relax," said Zeus, putting a hand on Athena's shoulder and pushing her back into the chair. "I know what'll distract you. Stare at my physique and tell me if I should be a model."

Athena almost threw up. "Father, you are incredible egotistical!"

"Pfft, whatever," said Zeus. "I know what that means, but I'm going to ignore it because it simply doesn't compute."

Athena walked out about fifteen minutes later, biting on a piece of gauze, her bottom lip completely numb. She had never had a cavity before, much less two, so she wasn't used to the feeling of numbness. When she woke up from her wisdom teeth procedure, she didn't remember anything, even though Dr. King had injected her with Novocain to prevent further pain.

So of course, right when Athena walked into her house, she turned around again because she was about to be late for a Council meeting.

In the throne room, all the gods were present. Zeus and Hera were bitching about their marital status; Demeter was eating cereal and making her phone bloom into various types of flowers; Ares, Poseidon, Apollo, and Hephaestus were all comparing feelings about Aphrodite; and everyone else just kinda sat there.

"SILENCE!" yelled Zeus. "Now, we will begin the meeting. First off, we're going to start with Athena"—Zeus smirked—"who will tell us something intelligent, I'm sure. Athena, the floor is yours."

Athena cleared her throat. She spat the gauze out a few minutes ago, but she was still pretty numb. "Weww," she drooled, "it is my undewstanding dat Annabeff and Pewcy awe stiww in wove."

The room was quiet.

"What was that, dear?" asked Demeter. "Are you having lack-of-cereal disease?"

"Shut up, Demetew," Athena snapped. "I stiww fink it's unwise fo Annabeff to be dating dat Pewcy chawactew."

The Council glared at Athena.

"Have you been drinking?" Demeter asked curiously. "That's how Persephone talks when she's drinking. I think it's hilarious!"

"I awso wanna point out dat my name is Affeena, not Houston…Hephaesthus," Athena snapped, slobbering all over her white dress.

"Athena, honey," said Aphrodite, "you're numb. You shouldn't even be here now. Go home and rest."

"I DON'T WANNA WEST, APHWODI-EE!" Athena screamed, stamping her foot and making the room shake. "I AM DA GODDESS OF WISDOM! I…DON'T…NEED…WEST!"

With each word, more spit was sprayed on the floor, so when Athena began walking towards the hearth to sit with Hestia for some reason, she tripped on her own spit…and fell into it.

Demeter and Hestia helped Athena up, made sure she was okay, and went back to Demeter's palace so Athena could sleep off the rest of the Novocain.

"And this meeting is now over because everything got awkward," said Zeus. "I shall text all of you my rather boring and not-droll speech later…if I feel like it."

Did you guys like droll? It actually means funny.