I AM ICY…GODDESS OF…uh…NOT UPDATING IN, LIKE, A WEEK! Yeah, sorry about that. This week's been a mostly good week (but bad stuff happened, too). But now 'tis the weekend and I can write all I want…maybe…

Fructus is my ORIGINAL character. Here's a little bit about him (in case you want me to put him in another couple of chapters or whatnot). Fructus is the son of Trippy and Demeter. He's the god of fruits and fruit sugars. Not only did he inherit his parents' obsession with agriculture, but he also inherited Demeter's blonde hair and, unfortunately, Trip's acid reflux issue. He is very kind and sweet, like his mother. Favorite activities include: farming, farming, eating fruit, eating candy when Dem and Trip aren't looking, and more farming.

This one goes out to Owlion12 and Lost-In-A-New-World! I own nothing, except Fructus!

LET US ALSO CELEBRATE 50 CHAPTERS! YAY! TRYING TO GET REVIEW UP TO 200!

CHAPTER 50: FRUCTUS' FIRST CLEANING

Fructus' last day of summer was not fun at all. Sure, he loved plowing the fields with his father and baking bread with his mother (he was an only child), but yesterday was like overkill family time with his parents.

Fructus was three (in human years), and the rule on Olympus was that every god started preschool when they were three. So that meant Demeter and Triptolemus were constantly taking to him about it.

So on the last day of summer break, it was very hot outside. Fructus was sleeping peacefully when Triptolemus barged into his room. "Rise and shine, Daddy's favorite farmer!" he yelled. "It's time to…plant stuff!"

Fructus groaned and rolled over. "Five more minutes," he moaned.

"Not today, kid," Trip replied, shaking his son awake and throwing some overalls at him. "Put those on and meet me downstairs for some cereal."

Fructus sighed and got out of bed. He threw on the overalls and headed downstairs to meet his parents for breakfast.

Demeter and Trip were sitting at the table, both of them drinking orange juice and eating bowls of Frosted Flakes. Demeter kissed her son good morning and offered him some cereal.

Fructus pushed his bowl away and looked at his mother. "Mommy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Can we have waffles?"

"No! Waffles make you fat, Fructus! Don't you dare ask that again!" Demeter snapped. "Eat your cereal before the sun comes up! You know that if you eat before sunrise, you'll grow up big and strong."

Bitch, Fructus thought. Yeah, he heard a lot of words like those around Olympus…especially when Ares and Aphrodite babysat. It was also a bad time to say it because Trip and Fructus could literally read each other's minds. Triptolemus thought it would be a fun father-son thing to do.

Fructus, don't think bad thoughts about your mother, Trip scolded.

But, Daddy, she's sooo annoying, Fructus complained.

I know, but when you're a big boy you can move out of the house and not have to hear her, Trip replied.

The family finished breakfast and headed out to the fields to plant seeds and whatever the hell farmer gods do nowadays.

At sunset, they all came back inside and ate dinner together. Demeter made a simple salad, some whole-grain noodles, and for dessert…

"YUCKY!" Fructus yelled. "I HATE OATMEAL!"

"Fructus," Demeter snapped, "eat your oatmeal so you'll grow up big and strong!"

Trip got out of his seat and sat in the chair with Fructus on his lap. He picked up the spoon and force-fed the oatmeal to Fructus, who gagged and spat it out…which is why Demeter sent him to bed early.

"Now, tomorrow," said Demeter as she was kissing her son goodnight, "it's your first day of preschool. I requested Ms. Hecate to make something with grains and vitamins…and I asked her to give you something bland so your reflux doesn't get worse."

Fructus rolled his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, young man," Demeter snapped. "And your first dentist appointment is tomorrow. So we'll be picking you up at two."

Fructus blanched. "Are they gonna put me to sleep, Mommy?"

"Of course not. They're just going to clean your teeth. Speaking of which, did you brush tonight?"

Fructus didn't like listening to his mother, so he lied and said: "Yep. Of course I did."

Demeter smiled. "Okay. I love you, honey." And she kissed him on the forehead and headed out of the room.

Triptolemus walked in a moment later. "Listen, Fructus, I know you didn't brush your teeth tonight."

"So?" Fructus asked timidly.

"So, you know what the punishment is."

Fructus had to apologize to Demeter for lying, then he had to sing a song involving farm animals. He went with "Miss Demeter Had a Farm" and Demeter started crying because she was that delighted.

The next morning, at the crack of freaking dawn, Trip woke Fructus up and got him ready for preschool.

"Do you want to wear your overalls or this nice shirt Mommy got for you?" Trip said.

"Overalls," Fructus replied.

On the way over to Ms. Hecate's Academy, Triptolemus and Demeter laid down the rules for Fructus.

"Don't interrupt your teacher," said Trip.

"And use your inside voice," Demeter added.

"Don't run in the classroom."

"Don't hit, scratch, or bite, or you'll be eating cereal for the next three weeks for dinner."

"Listen to the teacher."

"Don't run off into the street."

"Anything else?" Fructus asked.

"Be good," they both replied. Trip pulled into a parking spot near the door and undid Fructus' car seat. Fructus hopped out of the car and grabbed Demeter's hand as she led them inside.

They stopped at Ms. Hecate's office to check in (because that was the rule).

"Good morning, Ms. Hecate," said Demeter. She lifted Fructus up. "This is Fructus and it's his first day of school today."

"Well, nice to meet you, Fructus," said Hecate. "He'll be in Ms. Psyche's class this year."

Just then Hera and Hebe walked into the office. Hebe was holding a doll and a box of Animal Crackers…and eating them with her mouth open.

Hera sighed as she signed her daughter in. "Hebe, what did we talk about yesterday?"

"Daddy likes sex?"

"No. The other part."

"It's not ladylike to eat with your food coming out of your face," Hebe recited.

"Very good, honey," Hera said. "Oh. Hi, guys." She gave Fructus a peck on the forehead and hugged Demeter and Triptolemus. "First day, Fructus?"

"Uh-huh," said Fructus.

"Oh," Hecate said, "has Fructus had his physical yet?"

Demeter nodded. "Here's the form. He's going to the dentist this afternoon at two, so we'll be back later."

"Excellent! Well, Hera and Hebe can take you to Ms. Psyche's classroom."

When they got to Ms. Psyche's classroom, Fructus said a tearful goodbye to Demeter and Trip, then followed Hebe to the carpet for circle time.

"Good morning, everybody," Ms. Psyche said cheerfully. "We have a new student with us this morning who wasn't in our class last year. Fructus, do you want to tell everyone about yourself?"

Fructus stood up shakily. "H-hi," he stammered. "My name is F-Fructus. I'm the god of fruits and fruit sugars. My mommy's name is Demeter and my daddy's name is Trippy. And my favorite color is lellow."

"I think it's yellow, dear," said Ms. Psyche gently. "But thank you for introducing yourself."

Then Ms. Psyche tortured them with the "Good Morning" song, the "ABC: Greek Style" song, and the "Olympian Numbers" song. Afterwards, it was story time, so Ms. Psyche asked Fructus to help her turn the pages of the book called Mr. Hades and Miss Persephone. Finally, it was time for lunch.

Ms. Hecate brought in a huge bowl of mac-and-cheese with hamburger meat in it, some grapes, some baby carrots, and some vanilla pudding for dessert. Fructus knew that this wasn't what his mother would've wanted him to eat for lunch, but he didn't care. He was having a great time talking to Hebe and Macaria.

"Is everyone done so we can go play outside?" asked Ms. Psyche.

She led all the kids outside and Fructus immediately ran for the swings with Hebe. They both got on the tire swing together and Macaria pushed them on it. The swings spun so much and Fructus was having a wonderful time…until he saw Ms. Hecate walking toward him.

"Hi, honey," she said. "Mommy's here for you."

Fructus saw Demeter and Triptolemus waiting inside the front office. Demeter had just signed Fructus out and they left shortly after that.

When they got to Olympus, Demeter put on the TV for her son while Trip read a book about the harvest moon…or whatever. Fructus was busy watching "Sesame Street"…until his uncle walked out.

Now Fructus had three uncles—Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. Today, he was looking at his Uncle Hades. Today, Uncle Hades was dressed in his usual black attire, but he was holding a clipboard and had a mask draped around his neck. He looked all ready for assisting a dentist today.

"Hey," Hades said in a gloomy tone. "I hate all of you so let's get this over with. Follow me."

Demeter carried Fructus into the office (though he struggled because he was a big boy now, and big boys can walk). Demeter placed Fructus in the red chair and looked at the dentist. It was Persephone, which made Demeter feel a lot better. (She had been hoping for a nice goddess so Fructus wouldn't be scarred for life.)

"Hi, Fructus," Persephone said sweetly, wheeling over to the chair and snapping her gloves on. "Are you ready for your cleaning today?"

Fructus shook his head, stared at Triptolemus, and reached for him. "Daddy, I just got the flu. I gots to go home now."

"No, buddy. You're staying right here until your teeth are sparkling," Trip said, taking his son's hand.

"Fructus," said Persephone in her usual sweet tone, "we're going to take some pictures to see if you have any cavities."

Fructus looked at Hades, who was doing the x-rays. Naturally, Fructus freaked out and started to sob.

"Mother, can you make him stop?" asked Persephone. "We need to do the x-rays."

"Fructus, look at Mommy. If you're a good boy today, we'll go get some ice cream later," Demeter bribed.

Once the x-rays were taken (and Demeter made Hades leave because he was freaking Fructus out), Persephone began to clean Fructus' teeth. Fructus didn't have any cavities, nor any other dental problems she saw.

The only problem was that Fructus kept crying and squirming around.

Persephone put down the tools and looked at her mother. "We need to calm Fructus down. If he keeps moving like this, his gums will bleed if I hit them with the explorer."

Triptolemus stood up, sadly put his book about agriculture on the chair beside Demeter, and sat in the chair with Fructus. Fructus sat on Trip's lap and Persephone continued the cleaning.

"Can I come back in now?" asked Hades from the doorway. (He'd been standing there the whole time.)

"No," snapped Demeter. "I am not letting you near my family! You are a pervert, Hades!"

"Yeah…well…sometimes that happens when you're stuck in the Underworld for a long time," Hades replied. "You guys done yet?"

"Just sitting the chair up, dear," said Persephone. "Okay. Great job, Fructus! You were so brave! I think you deserve some ice cream!"

Fructus and his parents headed to The Mighty Ice Cream Cone, the best ice cream store on Olympus. They quickly ate their ice cream cones and headed back to their palace, where Trip put Fructus down for his nap.

"Well, that was very successful," said Demeter happily.

"Yeah. I think Persephone should clean his teeth from now on," Triptolemus replied. "She's excellent at that kind of thing."

This was kind of like me when I went for my first cleaning. My dad sat with me in the chair and he had to bribe me with ice cream, too.

ANYWAY, I'm still looking for ideas for Octavian. He and Luke—the evil buddies—shall be together. It'll kind of be like the Stolls' chapter where they were in the office together. So let me know in a review or PM! Thanks for reading!