Okay, here is my original idea for Prometheus! We needed some Titans in here, too. So keep reviewing, PMing, and giving me more ideas. At this point, I think all the gods are finished. If you want me to do repeats, let me know. I am always thrilled to give you guys credit for the ideas you give me and I'll try to live up to your expectations! ENJOY!
CHAPTER 52: FIRE SAFETY WITH MR. PROMETHEUS
Prometheus was spending the day with his idiot brother Epimetheus in one of Hephaestus' forges. They were, as usual, messing around and goofing off.
"Dude," said Prometheus, "if I light this hammer on fire, what do you think it'll do?"
"Uh…I don't know," said Epimetheus, which was his usual answer.
"Of course you don't," said Prometheus, shaking his head sadly. "Well, it's probably going to explode, so watch out, dude. Here it goes!"
Prometheus put the hammer he was holding over the flame and—within three seconds—BOOM! The hammer exploded, sending both of the Titans flying backward. Epimetheus hit a wall and fell unconscious. Prometheus smacked his face against a filing cabinet.
"Ugh…" Prometheus said, massaging his face, "oh, gods. Dude! I think one of my teeth came out!"
"Huh?" Epimetheus said.
"Never mind," said Prometheus bitterly. "I need to go to Olympus to get it looked at," he said through a mouthful of ichor. "Don't touch anything while I'm gone, or Heph said we'll lose our memberships and won't get upgrades for our iPhone 7s!"
"Okay!" Epimetheus promised. "Bye!"
Prometheus held a Kleenex to his mouth while he waited in the waiting room to be seen. Luckily, the dentist could take him right away, but he wasn't too happy about who the dentist was.
Before the dentist came in, Helios, Titan of the sun, came out to get Prometheus.
"What happened to your face?" asked Helios.
"Uh…I was playing with fire again," Prometheus said sheepishly.
"Bad Titan," said Helios.
"Dude. I'm a Titan, not a dog."
"Ah, Prometheus," said Zeus, walking into the office and carrying a tool tray. "What happened to your face?"
"Didn't I just get off the phone with you?" snapped Prometheus.
"I knew this would happen if I gave you a break from that eagle," said Zeus, sitting next to Prometheus and leaning the chair backwards. "Which tooth is it?"
Prometheus held up the tooth, then gave Zeus a wide smile.
"I see," said Zeus, "well, it looks like we'll need to do an implant immediately. So we'll take an impression, give you some medicine to numb you, then we'll need to drill and put the implant in. Do you want laughing gas, too?"
"Yeah," said Prometheus.
"Excellent. This should be interesting when you're high."
Zeus and Helios got an impression from Prometheus and Zeus gave him the medicine while Helios made the false tooth.
"Excellent," Zeus said as he put the laughing gas mask over Prometheus' face. "You should be high very soon."
Five minutes later, Prometheus was asking where the Pink Panther lived, so Zeus knew he wouldn't remember anything. So Zeus and Helios began working. Zeus did dentist stuff and sent Prometheus on his way to do more fire things involving Epimetheus and murdering hammers.
"Be careful about eating," Zeus told his high patient. "I don't want to see your teeth ever again!"
MS. PSYCHE'S CLASSROOM AT MS. HECATE'S ACADEMY
"Good morning, boys and girls," Ms. Psyche said cheerfully. "We have a special guest speaker today. Everyone, this is Mr. Prometheus, and he's going to tell us about fire safety. So let's put on our listening ears."
"Ms. Psyche?" Hebe said. "Can I go potty first?"
"Yes, dear. Of course you can," Ms. Psyche replied. She turned to her new assistant, Ms. Danae. "Ms. Danae, would you mind taking Hebe over to the bathroom?"
"Not at all," said Ms. Danae, leading Hebe by the hand and taking her into the bathroom.
"Okay, Mr. P," said Ms. Psyche. "The floor is yours."
Prometheus was REALLY, REALLY high. He was wearing a red fireman's hat and fireman attire. "Good evening, little chicks," he giggled. "I am Mr. Prometheus and I'm here to tell you all about weed! Kids, drugs are bad for you so don't do 'em or Zeus will kick your asses so hard that your grandkids' grandkids will feel it!"
Fructus raised his hand. "Mr. Prometheus, sir?"
"Whazzup, small child?"
"Uh…are you okay, sir?"
"I love you, man," Prometheus said, starting to sob.
Ms. Psyche jumped in. "Why don't we all show Mr. Prometheus here what the rules are for fires? Hebe, what do we do first?"
"We stand up and line up at the door. And we don't take anything with us!" Hebe said as Ms. Danae went back to the carpet with her.
"Very good," said Ms. Psyche.
"Actually," Prometheus said, "that's wrong. You eat the fire. YUMMY, YUMMY, YUMMY! NAMNAMNAM!"
"Let's practice a fire drill," said Ms. Danae quickly.
"Okay," said Prometheus, drooling all over the carpet next to Macaria, who accidentally put her hand in it. "I'm the king and what I say goes! QUCK, A FIRE! GET OUTSIDE BEFORE WE ALL DIE! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danae decided to play along. Fructus and Hebe wanted to take their blocks, but Ms. Psyche said no and ushered them outside.
"Good work, little children," said Prometheus. "Now who can tell me what a fire looks like?"
"Well," said Macaria, "we have lots of fires down in Hades where I live. They're orange and lellow and stuff."
"That's right. I'm a sexy Titan."
"Prometheus," said Ms. Hecate's voice over the intercom, "Mr. Prometheus, please report to the front office immediately."
"I gotta go, guys," said Prometheus. "But I'll swing by and play later. I'm not saying that in a perverted way like Hades, though. I like playing with you guys. You guys are my bestest friends, otay?" And he left for the front office.
When he got there, Zeus and Helios were standing there. Zeus held up a bottle of small pills. "Happy Christmas," he said. "Take one and go back to that rock where you shall spend the rest of your freaking life."
"O-okay," Prometheus giggled, swallowing the pill. Almost immediately, his eyes regained focus and his smile turned upside down into a frown. "Uh…I think I'm gonna…ya know…go back to my rock."
"Smart move, dude," said Helios.
How was that?