Hey, guys, I'm back with more drunk PJO/HOO characters!
I had some free time today, so I came up with a whole list of people, including some of the "preschoolers" from Ms. Psyche's class and mortals…so, yeah…let me know if you want me to do another specific god/mortal/monster. SHOULD I DO MEDUSA? HEROES? DEAD KINGS? LET ME KNOW!
CHAPTER 54: DR. FISHER AND DR. KING
Sally Jackson was in the bathroom brushing her teeth. She was running a little late for her dentist appointment, so she was in a hurry.
She spat in the sink, grabbed her purse, and headed to Percy's room. As she expected, Percy and Annabeth were snuggling on Percy's bed, their arms wrapped around each other, watching a movie.
"Uh…I'm going for my cleaning," said Sally. "Don't burn down the apartment, Percy."
"Uh-huh," Percy said. "On the way home, can you pick me up some pizza?"
"No, honey. You've been eating poorly lately, so you can have some salad for dinner tonight."
"MOM!" Percy moaned.
Sally winked at her son. "All right. I guess you can get some pizza tonight."
Sally sat in the waiting room. There were no other patients there, which seemed weird. Then again, this was a new dentist she was going to, so she wasn't sure what to expect.
A very handsome man came out of the door that led to the exam rooms. "Sally?" he called in a deep voice that made Sally cringe.
The guy had a dark beard and short hair. He was tall and muscular. He wore a white lab coat over a pinstriped suit.
"Yes?" Sally asked, looking at him in the eyes. They were so blue she sort of lost herself in them.
"Come with me. It's time for your cleaning."
As they were heading back to the exam rooms, the guy looked at the secretary. "Honey, you can go home now. There are no more appointments today. Sally's the last one."
"But, Dr. King," the secretary, Alicia, said, "there are three more patients that need to see the dentist this afternoon."
Dr. King snapped his fingers and Alicia's eyes glazed over. "Go home, sweetheart."
Alicia nodded, grabbed her things, and headed out the door.
"Uh…" said Sally nervously, "did you just snap your fingers for affect, or did you do that to make something disappear?"
"I did it because I'm also a part-time magician," Dr. King replied, heading into the last room in the hallway. "Okay, so I'm Dr. King and I'll be assisting Dr. Fisher today. He's running late because he's busy doing stuff with his wife at his palace—uh, I mean—his house on the beach."
"But we're nowhere near a beach," Sally retorted as Dr. King put a green napkin on her.
"Yeah, I know that," Dr. King replied. "He drives a really fast car. Look, honey, all you need to know is that Dr. Fisher lives near the beach, drives a really fast car, and he's knocking up his wife. The end."
Dr. King's cell phone rang and he looked at it. "Okay, he just texted me and he's here now."
Another handsome man walked into the room. He wore a white lab coat, had a beard, and was carrying a tray of dental tools. Unlike Dr. King, Dr. Fisher had black hair and green eyes…which Sally thought was incredibly handsome.
"Hello, Sally," the man said. "Nice to see you. I'm Dr. Fisher. Are you ready for your cleaning?"
"Yes," Sally replied nervously.
"Very good," said Dr. Fisher.
"I told her all about you knocking up your wife before you came over here," said Dr. King.
"You said you would keep that a secret!" Dr. Fisher said, putting a mask on and throwing one at Dr. King.
As the two doctors were snapping their gloves on, Dr. King chuckled. "No, no. Did I swear upon the River Styx? No, I didn't. So it's not binding!"
"Dude, stop yelling," Dr. Fisher scolded.
"Wait," said Sally as she was going back in the chair, "River Styx?"
Dr. Fisher pulled his mask down. "It's me, Sally." He smiled widely at her.
"P-Poseidon?" Sally asked in awe.
"Yes," Poseidon replied.
Sally stared at Dr. King. "So you're…"
"The almighty Zeus," Zeus said.
All of a sudden, a woman came into the room. "Zeus! THERE you are! I asked you to watch Hebe so she doesn't get into the cookies! So I find you missing and she's sitting on the floor with chocolate on her face! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"
"Poseidon needed my help," said Zeus flatly to Hera as she sat in a chair in the corner. "So I'm helping him. Now, you can stay, but we shall be operating quite soon."
"Her chart says she's only here for a cleaning," said Hera.
"Stop breathing down my neck," said Zeus. "It's creepy and I hate it."
"What's creepy?"
Another guy walked into the room, wearing nothing but black attire. He looked to be in the middle of an argument with the woman who'd walked in behind him.
"You," Zeus replied. "You're a creepy stalker."
"He knows," the woman snapped. "He kidnapped my daughter and now they're having marital problems every time he cheats on her."
"Oh, honey, that's us," Hera squealed. "You could learn something from Hades and Persephone's marriage."
"SHUT UP, HERA!" screamed Zeus, making Sally jump.
"Children," said Poseidon, "please."
"Yeah, Hera," said Zeus, "please."
"I was talking to you, too, Zeusy," said Poseidon. "Sally, these are my siblings…whom I hate most of the time. I only like Hestia. But who doesn't like Hestia?"
As if she were listening in, Hestia walked into the room. "Hello," she said timidly.
Demeter, who was in a green pair of scrubs, looked at Sally. "Zeus said we get to help today. That's why we're all here. Plus, Mother Rhea wanted us to spend family time together. So that means I have to stare at this loser all day." She glared pointedly at Hades.
"Where's your bastard in crime?" Hades demanded.
"He's at home with Fructus playing I Love Wheat," Demeter replied. "And he had really bad heartburn last night so I forbid him from working this morning anyway."
"Doesn't Fruitsnack have preschool?"
"It's an institute day," snapped Demeter.
"Yes, that's why I asked Zeus here to watch Hebe while I did the dishes."
"Can we settle this like mature adults?" asked Hestia.
"Zeus doesn't know what mature means," snapped Hera.
Sally cleared her throat. "Uh…are you guys going to clean my teeth or can I go home?"
"Yeah, guys, you're scaring my ex-girlfriend," said Poseidon. "First we need to—"
"First," said Demeter, "we need to ask her some health questions." She pushed Zeus out of his chair and Zeus fell on the floor with a thud.
Demeter picked up the clipboard and looked at Hades. "His name is Fructus, Hades. Get your nephew's name right."
"Oh, I forgot he's related to me…just like you," Hades said sadly.
Demeter glanced at the clipboard. "Hi, Sally. I'm Demeter, goddess of—"
"BITCHES!" yelled Hades.
"—agriculture," Demeter finished, gritting her teeth. "Before Poseidon cleans your teeth, I need to ask you some medical questions. Did you happen to eat cereal for breakfast this morning?"
"No," said Sally.
"That's enough, Demeter," said Zeus, pulling his mask on again. "I have to do assistant stuff."
Poseidon was polishing Sally's teeth when Zeus asked a pressing question. "Just wondering," he said, "you guys gonna make out and can I watch?"
Poseidon shrugged. "I dunno." He looked at Sally. "Maybe…"
"You know," said Hera, "this is why we're having anger issues, Zeus. Why don't you want to kiss me?"
"Because, honey. All you do is play house with Hebe and it makes me sick every time she picks a family game and you two try to get me involved."
"When Fructus wants to play a game, we all go outside for vitamin D. Vitamin D's good for you…HADES!" Demeter snapped.
"Sally, get out of the chair," said Poseidon. "Your cleaning's finished, but there's still one part of the appointment we're missing before I let you go."
Sally got out of the chair and Poseidon climbed in. He glanced at Sally. "Okay, honey. Come to the man you love!"
Paul Blofis immediately went out of Sally's mind and she and Poseidon started making out in front of everybody.
"This," said Zeus happily, "is the best day of my life!"
"Poseidon," Hera said, "please set an example for my ass of a husband."
"You can't tell me what to do," said Poseidon.
Hera glared at the two gods and stomped out the door to Olympus. Demeter and Hades disappeared in a shadow with grain swirling around it. And poor Hestia had to watch the rest of the make-out session.
"So," said Poseidon, "wanna go for a walk in the park, Sally?"
"Sure, Poseidon."
"Zeusy, clean this mess up!" Poseidon said.
Zeus and Hestia stared at each other, until Zeus finally said, "You know, you're lucky you're not married."
Yeah, I know it was random as Hades, but I like that kind of thing.