I guess a lot of people are liking the preschooler idea. I'll keep doing them, just give me some more kids that can act like gods! I can't have Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danae teaching five kids!
Okay guys. Here is Tyson's chapter yet again. I hope you guys like this one. Credit goes to 44Lefty! I also don't own "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" by Dr. Seuss.
CHAPTER 58: YOU NEED TO FLOSS MORE
Tyson stood by the window of Poseidon's palace, waiting for Percy to pick him up so they could go to the arcade. Since Percy was on all these hero quests, and Tyson was always working in the forges, they'd decided to hang out that day.
Percy honked and Tyson headed outside. "Hi, Percy!" Tyson cried, nearly breaking Percy's ribs in the bear hug.
"Hi, big guy," Percy choked. "Ready for fun?"
"YES!"
So Percy and Tyson headed over to the Magical Arcade…Tyson got to choose and that's the first thing he saw.
Outside the arcade, a small, yellow school bus was letting off five kids and two women. One of the women clapped her hands. "Okay, kids," she said loudly. "Let's grab our buddies and head inside please!"
"Ms. Danae! Can we gets a toy?" asked a girl, who was wearing a big, red bow in her hair.
"Let's see if you win anything, Hebe," said Ms. Danae. "Don't forget to tell your mommies and daddies that we'll be heading to the zoo tomorrow!"
"Yay! Fructus, we gets to see the nanimals!" Hebe squeaked.
"Sweet! Is my dad coming? He loves animals!" Fructus asked, pulling on the other woman's skirt.
"Fructus, remember," said the other woman, "it's not polite of gentlemen to pull a girl's skirt down to see their butt."
"Sorry, Ms. Psyche."
After the kids all went inside and into a group room, Percy and Tyson paid the admission, got their cards, and headed into the arcade.
"Hey, guys," said an overly-happy blond guy. "Are you bored with all these crappy games?"
"Kinda," said Percy. "You have games that're actually fun here?"
"But of course!" the dude cried. "I would like to introduce you to our ropes course. Don't worry; you'll be in a harness. Basically, you go on the ropes and walk from one platform to another."
"I'm in!" Percy said. "Tyson?"
"Uh-huh," said Tyson happily.
"I'm sorry, sir," said the man, "but you smell like seaweed, so I'm afraid I cannot let you on the attraction unless you shower in our showers, conveniently located five miles away."
"Yeah…convenient," Percy said in his usual, snarky manner.
Tyson saw the little kids again. Ms. Danae and Ms. Psyche were each holding a couple of kids by the hands so they wouldn't get lost.
"Phobos, what should we play first?" asked Ms. Danae.
"Let's play that one!" Phobos yelled, dragging Ms. Danae over to the Ski Ball game.
Ms. Psyche dragged Hebe and Fructus over to the bouncy houses and helped them inside. Then she was forced to stand there and watch while she fantasized about having fun with them.
"Uh…Percy," said Tyson as they were shooting baskets in a basketball game, "I gotta go pee."
Quite a few people looked at them.
"Don't mind him," said Percy quickly. "He can't control the volume of his voice very well." He turned to Tyson. "Let's go. I have to pee, too."
Tyson and Percy headed into the bathroom, where they met up with Fructus, who was also peeing.
"Hi, little god," said Tyson.
"Hi," Fructus said timidly.
"My name is Tyson," said Tyson. "This is my half-brother Percy."
"Yeah, I know about you two. Uncle Hades told me you two were in love, but Uncle Hades likes to lie to my face a lot. Daddy and Mommy say it's not true…right?"
"Right. That's weird if you're in love with your own brother," Percy remarked. "So, how's preschool going?"
"Fine. We're going to the zoo tomorrow to see all the pretty animals." Fructus headed to the sink.
Suddenly, a dude stepped out from a stall. "Hey, Tyson, it's Daddy."
"DADDY!" Tyson flipped out.
"Hey, kid," said Poseidon, hugging his children. "And Fructus," he said, hugging his nephew. "Tyson, we're late for your cleaning."
Tyson shot pee all over the walls. "Huh?"
"We're going for a checkup," Poseidon said calmly. "You'll be seeing Dr. Hestia."
"Is she nice?" asked Tyson.
"Yes. I almost married her," said Poseidon.
"I had a checkup one time with Persephone," Fructus butted in, "and she kicked Hades out of the room because he sucks."
"Dude, NO ONE likes Hades," Poseidon replied. He took Tyson's hand. "Let's go."
So Poseidon and Tyson headed off to Olympus, leaving Percy and Fructus alone in the bathroom.
Fructus looked up at Percy, who was STILL peeing. "Daddy told me that you're a hero."
"Yeah. Sure," said Percy, washing his hands.
"So why don't you wear a cape?" Fructus demanded.
"'Cause Greek heroes don't do that kind of thing," Percy replied.
"Can you play a game with me, Percy?"
"Sure, Fructose."
"Fructus," said Fructus, washing his hands and grabbing Percy's hand. "C'mon. I like Ski Ball! Mommy gives me a sticker every time I do good on a game."
"That's great," said Percy. He was finding this kid very annoying.
Meanwhile, in the Olympus waiting room, Tyson and Poseidon were pretty early for Tyson's appointment. So Poseidon decided to read "How Hades Stole Christmas".
Every god on Olympus liked Christmas a lot,
But Hades, who lived in the Underworld, did not.
Hades hated Christmas, the whole freakin' season.
And please don't ask why, 'cause I don't know the reason.
It could be that he was immensely depressed,
Or maybe he had no heart in his chest,
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his man-bra was twelve sizes too small!
"Well, this is rather interesting," said Poseidon, closing the book. "That was rather strange, wasn't it?"
"Daddy, keep going!"
But whatever the reason, his bra or his heart,
He stood in the Underworld, holding in a fart.
He decided to steal all the gods' Christmas stuff,
Then he'd come back down here with a soft, little PUFF.
So he took his doggie Cerberus, and he took some white thread,
And tied a big bow on the top of his dog's head.
Then Hades robbed all the gods, he took all the toys.
The next morning, they were sad, all the girls and the boys.
For Christmas was cancelled, and that, my dear friend,
Is how Hades stole Christmas. Good night…that's the end!
"Would Hades really do that?" asked Tyson.
"No, son," said Poseidon. "Uncle Hades is just creepy. He's not a jackass, but Demeter thinks he is."
"Tyson?"
A woman came out in a nurse's uniform (by now you're probably getting bored with hearing the descriptions of the nurse's jackets, so just imagine something nurse-like).
The woman walked over to the boys. "Hi, dear," she said to Tyson. "I'm Nurse Leto, and I'll be assisting Dr. Hestia today."
"Can Daddy come, too?" asked Tyson.
"Of course," said Leto. "Follow me, boys."
Leto led them into the exam room. Hestia was arranging all the tools on the tool tray.
Leto picked up the green napkin and placed it over Tyson's shirt, commenting on how nice it looked on him.
Hestia turned the light on and asked Tyson to open his mouth. Tyson did and Hestia began to clean his teeth.
Poseidon was sitting at the end of the chair, holding Tyson's hand so he wouldn't freak out. "Tyson," he said, "you're doing well, my boy."
"He's doing very well," said Hestia. "But we need to talk about something, Poseidon."
"What's that?" Poseidon demanded.
Hestia was finished with Tyson, so she let the chair sit up and Leto took the napkin off of his shirt. "Tyson's got some gingivitis. How often does he floss?"
"Tyson?" Poseidon asked.
"What's floss?" asked Tyson.
"This is floss, dear," said Hestia, taking out a string and twirling it around her finger. Then, just like all the dentists do in the mortal world, she began to lecture the Cyclops about dental hygiene. Tyson must've dozed off because he hadn't heard a word Hestia had just said.
"Okay," said Leto, "would you like a sticker, Tyson? You were such a brave Cyclops today!"
"YES! Can I have a pony sticker?" asked Tyson as he hopped down from the chair.
"Sure," said Leto. She unpeeled a pony sticker off its wrapper and stuck it on Tyson's hand. "See? It's right on your hand." She looked at Poseidon. "He needs to come back for braces, and Zeus might be fitting them, but we'll have an assistant with good bedside manner to calm him down."
"Excellent," said Poseidon. "C'mon, Tyson. Let's go back to the arcade and annoy Percy."
So…what did you guys think of the little poem? So since Psyche got her cleaning, it's Eros' turn! What should happen to him?