So here's Ms. Danae's chapter. This one won't be as surgery-based as the other preschool chapters have been, but it'll still be good (maybe…I haven't written it yet, so I'm not sure). Icy is too lazy to add the dots on the final E of Danae's name. And I personally think she and Dictys got married in the myth, but that's my personal thought. Anyway, NEW CHARACTERS! ENJOY!
CHAPTER 61: YOU LOOK LIKE OUR DAD
It was a nice day at Ms. Hecate's Academy. Ms. Psyche and Ms. Danae had just done the "Welcome Song" and were about to teach the kids colors. But something had to be done first.
"Boys and girls," said Ms. Psyche, "remember when I went to the dentist? Well today, Ms. Danae is going to be leaving early to go for her checkup. So we'll be having Ms. Aphrodite come in to help out. Now, what's the rule about having guests in our class? Yes, Fructus?"
"We don't bite them," said Fructus. "And we play nice."
"Very good, Fructus," said Ms. Psyche. "Now, everyone. Stand up and let's sing our color song."
After a five-year-long annoying-as-Aphrodite song about colors, Ms. Psyche gave each of the kids a coloring sheet. It was one of those sheets where the kids had to color the picture using the numbers they saw, and the numbers represented a color. So it was like a number-color test or something.
"Hebe, what color is number one?" asked Ms. Danae, leaning over Hebe to look at her picture.
"Blue!" said Hebe.
"Very good," said Ms. Danae. "Phobos, that's a very nice color green you're using."
"My dad says that green is for nature nerds like Fructus and his mommy and daddy," said Phobos.
"Okay, honey, let's keep our mean thoughts to ourselves," said Ms. Danae.
Then the clock chimed ten-thirty, which meant that Ms. Danae had to leave for her appointment. So she said goodbye to the class and headed to the front office to sign out.
"Good luck, Danae," said Ms. Hecate. "I heard the dentists are horrible sometimes and nice other times."
"Oh. Thanks?" Ms. Danae said. She left the school and headed for Olympus.
As soon as Danae left, Aphrodite walked into the building, covered in perfume and wearing an overly-short red dress. "Like, hi!" she squealed.
"May I help you?" asked Ms. Hecate.
"I'm here to assist my daughter-in-law," said Aphrodite.
Ms. Hecate looked at Ms. Psyche's notes she'd left on the front desk. "Yep. Psyche's expecting you. Ms. Danae went for a cleaning today, and Psyche said you're the sub."
"Uh-huh," said Aphrodite. "Where's the classroom?"
Meanwhile, Danae was atop Mount Olympus, sitting in the waiting room. She wasn't nervous; she was looking forward to meeting her dentists.
A guy with a beard walked out of the office, wearing a pair of scrubs with fish on them. "Danae?" he called.
Danae looked up from her magazine. "Zeus?"
"Nope," the guy said. "Strike one."
"Poseidon? You've got fish on your scrubs."
"Nope. It's me, Dictys. I'm the dude who rescued you from the sea and stuff when King Acrisius put you in the box and chucked you in the sea," said Dictys.
"Oh, yeah," said Danae.
"And we're also married now, so how do you not know your own husband's name? The myths never said we got married, but that's not important."
"I'm nervous, honey," said Danae, standing up and throwing her magazine on the bench.
"That's okay," Dictys said, patting her on the back. "Come on back."
When Danae got into the room, she saw a man sitting next to the chair. He looked like a king, but he looked really dead, too.
"Princess Danae!" the dude said. "I am King Polydectes! I have resurrected myself somehow, drank a smoothie, and here I am to do your procedure! Mwa-ha-ha! I AM AN EVIL DUDE!"
Danae looked at Dictys. "Did you bring him here?"
"Well, as I was heading over here in our car, I realized there was a dude on the side of the street. He looked cool, so I picked him up. Then he put a damper on my life when I found out this dude right here was my brother…who sucks."
"I see," said Danae, although she wasn't too happy about having her ex-forced-boyfriend as her dentist.
Polydectes looked at Danae, who'd seated herself in the chair. "So I'm required by godly dental law that I must do some x-rays on you," he said. "Do you have a bun in the oven?"
"No," Danae snapped.
"Just checking," Polydectes said, throwing his hands up in surrender. "Now bite down on this piece of cardboard and my stupid brother will press this magical button."
Back at Ms. Hecate's Academy, Ms. Psyche was letting the kids have some free time. Most of them had finished their coloring sheets (all except Makaria, because she was one of those people who liked to work longer to make sure she got all the colors right).
Phobos and Deimos were doing a numbers puzzle in the quiet corner, while Hebe and Fructus played with the pretend kitchen.
"Does anyone want to play restaurant with us?" asked Fructus.
"I will, Fructus," said Ms. Psyche. "What's cooking?"
"Well, I'm making donuts and Hebe's making salads," said Fructus. "Which one do you want first?"
"Hmm…well, let's see…I'll take the salad."
The door flew open and Aphrodite walked in. "I'M HERE, CHILDREN!" she sang loudly.
Ms. Psyche's breakfast tried to bring itself up, but she swallowed a few times and welcomed Aphrodite to the carpet. "Guys, let's head to the carpet," Ms. Psyche called to the class.
"My mommy says the new girl's stupid," said Makaria in Hebe's ear.
"She looks pretty stupid," said Hebe. "I heard she squeals every time she sees a hot dude."
"Class, say hello to Ms. Aphrodite," said Ms. Psyche, looking absolutely nauseated. "While Ms. Danae's at her checkup today, Ms. Aphrodite will be here to help us."
"Are you going to puke, Ms. Psyche?" asked Fructus.
"No, Fructus. I'm fine." Ms. Psyche swallowed some more (she really didn't like Aphrodite) and continued that morning's lesson. "So, who can tell Ms. Aphrodite what day it is today? Hebe."
"Today's Wednesday," said Hebe proudly, going up to the calendar and pointing to Wednesday.
"Good job," said Ms. Psyche, handing Hebe a peppermint. "I'm giving out peppermints now because we're getting closer to Christmas. That reminds me. Please give these letters to your mommy and daddy. We're having a Christmas party at my house soon, and everyone's invited to come!"
Meanwhile, upon Olympus, Danae was getting her teeth cleaned. Polydectes was doing a pretty good job…until he noticed the laughing gas machine behind the chair. Of course, he didn't know what it was because he'd been dead for Zeus knows how long. Naturally, he was curious.
"Hey, Princess Danae," said the resurrected king, "I have a wonderful surprise for you! I'm going to put this thing on your face and—I'm not too sure what it does—but you should breathe in whatever air comes out."
Of course, Danae was suspicious. But she couldn't really run away because Polydectes had tied her to the chair. So as soon as Polydectes put the mask on Danae's face, she breathed in the air. Five minutes later, she was high.
"Hey, Polydectes," said Dictys, looking at Danae, "I…I think something happened to her."
"Eh, she's just high," said Polydectes. "So, Danae, now that you're in this high state, will you marry me?"
"I love pickles!" screamed Danae.
"No, no," Polydectes said impatiently. "I asked if you wanted to marry me."
"I said I love pickles," Danae yelled.
Ms. Psyche was having an awful experience, too, for she and Aphrodite weren't getting along so well.
"Ms. Psyche," said Ms. Aphrodite, "uh, there's, like, some construction going on outside, so would you mind going out there and taking a look at it?"
Ms. Psyche shrugged and got on her coat. She headed outside, leaving her class in the care of the love goddess.
Ms. Aphrodite glanced toward the door. "Is she gone?"
Fructus looked out the window, where he saw his preschool teacher walking towards the playground. "Yes, she's gone."
"Great! Okay, class, today we're going to talk about sex!"
The kids just looked at her.
"Does anyone know what sex is?" asked Ms. Aphrodite. "Yes, Deimos?"
"Dad said that it's how people make babies."
"Good boy! I want to let you all know that if you have any questions about sex to come right to me. Don't trust Zeus, Hera, Demeter, Trippsalot, or anyone else. They're all stupid and they know it—HEBE, STOP ACTING LIKE SUCH A FREAKIN' BABY!"
Hebe had started to cry, so Fructus put his arm around her.
"Oh, how romantic!" Ms. Aphrodite squealed. "You two are soooo CCCCUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEE together! Makaria and Phobos, you guys are good together, too. Deimos, honey, you'll just be the single loner for a while."
"Ms. Aphrodite?"
Ms. Psyche had just come into the room, glaring at the love goddess. It was very rare that Ms. Psyche got angry. "There's no construction. Get out."
"Fine," snapped Aphrodite.
Back on Olympus, Danae was reaching for Polydectes' hair because it was "sexy" apparently.
"What do I do?" asked Polydectes.
"Get her out of here," snapped Dictys as Danae giggled and squirmed in the chair. "Finish the cleaning first!"
"Uh, Danae," said Polydectes, "you see that water? Rinse with that and spit it out."
"Like this?" Danae giggled and sipped the water. She swished it around her mouth for a bit, then spat it all over Polydectes.
"Yeah, we'll go with that," said Polydectes, ripping his gloves off. "Your appointment's complete. I'm going to buy an iPad Good day, terrible people!"
Dictys drove Danae back to preschool, where she entered the classroom. All the kids looked at Danae as she stumbled towards the carpet for afternoon circle time.
"Ms. Danae, you look like our dad," said Phobos. "That's what he looks like when he gets drunk."
"I love pickles, everyone," said Ms. Danae.
"Uh, look at the time!" Ms. Psyche said quickly. "It's time for nap. Let's get on our cots and sleep!"
I start school up again tomorrow, so I had to update before I went back. Hope you guys liked it!