This one's my original idea, because WE CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH LEO!

CHAPTER 69: LEO'S LITTLE ADVENTURE

Leo's POV

I was building some kind of machine one day when something crazy happened. It all kind of happened really fast, but here's what I remember.

As I was saying, I was building something totally awesome for the Argo II, when I thought to myself, You are so awesome that you could probably do ANYTHING! I love telling myself that kind of thing!

Some nails caught my eye on the floor, so I picked one of them up. I was going to stick it into my mouth and spit it out at Jason when he came walking by. Then I was interrupted.

Nyssa walked over to me. "Hey, Leo, I just went to the camp store and guess what I found?"

I shrugged, the nail still in my mouth, hidden under my tongue. By the way, hiding a nail under your tongue ain't a pleasant feeling, my friends!

"The Demeter kids are selling brownies, and I thought you'd like to try one," Nyssa said, offering me a delicious-looking brownie.

"Mm…" I said, because Leo likey brownies! "Thanks, Nyssa!"

I stuffed the brownie in my mouth, chewed for a few minutes, then swallowed it. It was delicious; one of the best I've ever eaten.

"Hey, Nyssa, I'm going to do something to Jason. I've got a nail under my tongue, so I thought I'd spit it out at him when I saw him walking over here."

"Leo, that could be dangerous…to you," Nyssa nagged. "But, if you'd like to do it, give it a try. I mean, it's not like you'll accidentally swallow it."

That's when it hit me. I put my finger in my mouth and felt underneath my tongue. The nail was…GONE! DUN, DUN, DUN!

"Uh…funny you should say that, my friend," I told her. "But the almighty Leo Valdez…um…had the nail under his tongue before he ate the brownie. And now it's gone."

Nyssa gasped. "Of course it is. Leo, you idiot!"

"No biggie," I told her. "I'll eventually poop it out like all the other things I eat."

"That nail could rip your stomach," Nyssa freaked. "C'mon! We're going to Olympus!"

Nyssa dragged me to the Olympus Medical Center. Being the awesome son of Hephaestus that I am, I knew about the latest upgrades. My dad designed them, that awesome guy.

Nyssa looked at me. "C'mon. Let's go see Hestia." We walked up to a polished reception desk, with the goddess of the hearth sitting behind it. "Hi, Lady Hestia."

"Hi, Nyssa," said Hestia. "How may I help you today?"

"Leo swallowed a nail. He needs urgent medical attention," Nyssa commanded.

"Okay. I'll need to know how long ago this happened."

"Five minutes ago."

"Okay. And is there any vomiting with blood?"

"No," Nyssa said.

"Okay. On call today is Dr. Helios."

"Well, at least it's not Apollo," I said.

"And Apollo's the assistant."

"Mother—"

"Thank you, Lady Hestia," said Nyssa. "Listen, I have to go back to camp. But I'll tell Calypso you're up here and she'll come and pick you up."

"Okay," I told her, sitting down in a squishy armchair.

"Good luck!" And she was gone.

No one's POV

Leo was busy flipping through some crappy fashion magazines in an effort to create something that made hair look shinier, when a door flew open.

"Leo?" called Apollo.

Leo groaned. "Hi, Music Man."

Apollo nodded as Leo walked up to him. "So, Helios needs to know your height and weight, so hop on the scale for me."

Leo took his shoes off and did some supermodel poses on the scale as Apollo pressed some buttons.

Apollo looked up at Patient Leo and rolled his eyes. "You look gay."

"Well, you look gay."

"Yeah? You need to increase your calories, Mr. Valdez," Apollo said. "And, of course, you're not as tall as I am."

"I'm also not as self-centered as you are," Leo replied.

"I'm very self-confident!" Apollo yelled, leading his patient towards the lab.

"That's completely different from narcissism," Leo replied flatly.

Apollo held up a cup. "You see this? This is for a urine sample. Go into the bathroom and pee in it."

Leo took the cup and undid his zipper.

"Bathroom's that way," Apollo said disapprovingly.

Leo did his business in front of the Music Man, then screwed on the cap and handed it back to Apollo.

"Thanks," Apollo replied awkwardly. "Now, follow me to the exam room."

Sure enough, Helios was sitting by the exam table. "Leo," he said jovially. "How nice to see you!"

Leo and Helios high-fived.

"So, I hear you swallowed a nail," said Helios. "Sit on the table."

Leo lied down on the table. Helios pulled Leo's shirt up and pressed on his stomach. "Any pain?" he asked Leo.

"Yeah. A lot," said Leo.

Helios backed away and Leo sat up, pulling his shirt down. "So, kiddo, here's the deal. You have two options here. We can monitor your bowel movements for the next few days to see if anything comes out. Or we could go in there right now with an endoscope, locate the nail, and take it out here. Oh, the endoscopy involves you being high."

"I'll take that, then," Leo smirked.

"I thought so," Helios said, smiling at his patient. "Okay. I'm going to leave the room and come back with the endoscope. Apollo, please prep Leo for the procedure."

Apollo rolled his eyes. "Okay."

Helios left the room and Apollo ran over to the cabinets. He took out a hospital gown with butterflies on it.

"You got anything more…me?" asked Leo.

"This is you," snapped Apollo. "There's no fashion statement when you're getting operated on. So just throw this on."

Leo undressed and put on the gown, tying it in the back. At that point, Helios walked in with drugs and the endoscope. The endoscope looked like a long snake that could only be commanded by Helios.

"Give me your arm, Leo," said Helios.

Leo gave Helios his right arm and Helios stuck him with the needle. In no time, he was asleep.

Apollo put some sort of thing up Leo's nose to help him breathe better.

Helios pulled up a mask. "Ready?"

"Yeah," Apollo said.

"Gel!"

"Gel."

"Scope!"

"Scope."

Helios inserted the scope into Leo's throat and went to his stomach. "I found it," he said. "Right there. Now we must get it out! Hand me those small forceps."

Apollo handed him the small forceps and Helios retrieved the nail, putting it into a plastic bag for a souvenir. Then he brought the scope back up and put it on the tool tray. "And now we wait for him to awaken!" he cried.

There was a knock on the door and Hestia opened it. "Dr. Helios, this is Calypso, Leo's girlfriend. She's here to pick him up."

"Okay, Hestia. He'll be awake shortly."

When Leo finally woke up, his vision was blurred and his hearing wasn't so great. Then he started to gain his senses back again.

"Hey, beautiful," he breathed as he saw Calypso.

"Hi, Leo. Are you feeling okay?" asked Calypso.

"Sexy…" Leo said dreamily. "I love Piper!"

"But I'm…Calypso," Calypso stammered.

"Oh, Calypso? Yeah, she's a bitch, huh?"

"I'M NOT A BITCH!" Calypso screamed.

"Calypso," said Helios, "we gave him some medicine so he'd feel comfortable during the endoscopy. It does make people say weird stuff."

Calypso slapped Leo and ran out into the waiting room.

Twenty minutes later, Leo was dressed and feeling more alert. "Where's my girlfriend?" he asked Helios.

"Oh, you said you were in love with some chick named Piper, so she slapped you and left."

"Oh, great," said Leo. "Don't worry! I've got back-up! FESTUS! C'MERE, BUDDY!"

Just then there was a knock on the door and Hestia appeared again. "There's this dragon in the waiting room and he's scaring me," she said timidly.

"Hestia, hon, you need to man up," said Apollo. "You're always bitching and moaning about how you're scared of everything."

"Oh yeah?" Hestia breathed, her face turning a beet-red.

Meanwhile, Leo rode on Festus until he was back in camp. When he finally found Calypso, he had to apologize for literally three hours before she forgave him.

So, that's the second digestive problem/procedure thing I could think of. I've never had an endoscopy, but I've heard that the people who come out of them aren't exactly like Leo, but they're pretty close. Hmm…should I make someone have a baby? I guess when women are in labor they say stuff they don't mean to say!