Here's Piper's chapter. If someone mentioned it, thanks, but I can't remember if anyone did or not. But here goes nothing!
As punishment for writing everyone getting their wisdom teeth out, I got my wisdom teeth out on January 10. I was put under and woke up in tears, saying something like, "They took away my wisdom teeth!" I guess I was pretty sad when they took them. Anyway, here's Piper's chapter, which is a lot like my own experience.
Okay…do you guys want me to do any MINOR GODS/GREEK HEROES/ROMAN PEOPLE? I've got some more coming (like Grover and Eros), but if you guys want me to write about anyone else, just let me know!
EWWWWW!
Piper was sitting in Aphrodite's chariot in the passenger's seat. Aphrodite was singing a love song (flat, of course), while Piper stared forlornly out the window.
Today, Piper was going to the oral surgeon's office to have her wisdom teeth looked at. Her father, Tristan McLean—the famous actor dude—had made her a surprise appointment while he was there to fix a tooth he knocked out in a recent movie.
Anyway, Mr. McLean couldn't come with Piper, so Piper reluctantly asked Aphrodite to tag along with her. Of course, Aphrodite agreed, as long as she and Piper had a conversation about love and relationships among Piper's demigod friends.
"I totally think Hazel and Frank are perfect for each other," Aphrodite was saying.
"And I totally think you just missed the turn," Piper replied. "It was back there, Mom."
"Oh, shut up, Piper," snapped Aphrodite. "I'm a goddess, which means I'm way smarterer than you are!"
Piper rolled her eyes, then focused on the sign outside of the dentist's office (when Aphrodite finally pulled into the right parking lot).
"After this, can we go get coffee?" asked Aphrodite.
"No, Mom. I have to go back to camp," snapped Piper.
They pulled into a parking space outside the small office.
"Dr. Jones is not in," Aphrodite read aloud. "On-call today: Dr. Diana Hunter. Sounds good. Let's go inside."
When they got into the waiting area, Piper and Aphrodite ran up to the desk. A small woman was sitting at the reception desk.
"Hey, there," said Aphrodite. "This is Piper McLean, and she has an appointment today with Dr. Jones."
"I'm sorry, dear," the woman said, "but Dr. Jones' sister is out of town, so she needs to babysit her children. So, the visiting dentist is Dr. Hunter. Don't worry, though. She's had loads of experience with wisdom teeth."
"Where is she from?" asked Aphrodite. "I want to make sure Piper gets the best care possible. Otherwise her devilishly-handsome boyfriend, Jason, won't approve."
The woman stared at her. "I don't know. She said that she and her assistant were both from Italy somewhere…or maybe it was Greece…I don't really remember. She did this snappy finger thing and I forgot the rest of our conversation.
"Well, have a seat and her assistant will be right out to get you."
Aphrodite picked up a fashion magazine and began to look through it, humming a song to herself. Piper looked around the waiting room. There were a few patients there with other people, and Piper smiled to them, and they smiled back.
Piper picked up a cooking magazine, but the assistant cleared her throat and announced, "Piper McLean."
Piper stood up. "Right here. C'mon, Mom."
Aphrodite smiled as she put her magazine back onto the table. She followed her daughter and the assistant into a treatment room.
The assistant, who introduced herself as Minerva Wisdom, headed to the computer and asked Piper some health questions. Once Piper answered the questions, Minerva took Piper's blood pressure and her pulse, and recorded them into the computer.
"Well," she said, "let me just pull up your x-rays, and Dr. Hunter will be in shortly."
Aphrodite stopped her. "Are you really a mortal? Or are you Athena?"
"It's me, Aphrodite," said Athena. "But if you're going to address me outside of the exam room, Minerva is the preferable name."
Aphrodite shrugged. "I'm not sure what that means."
Athena rolled her eyes. "Just wait for the doctor." And she left the room.
Aphrodite and Piper looked at the x-rays on the computer. Finally, Aphrodite got bored and looked at the mirror and explorer on the tool tray.
"How is anyone supposed to use a mirror this small?" asked Aphrodite, grabbing it and looking at her eyes.
"Mom, that goes in your mouth," said Piper. "Teeth are little, so the doctors use little tools."
"Oh."
"Good morning, Piper," said a woman, entering the room in a lab coat.
"Good morning," Piper replied.
"Ew," said Aphrodite. "You look like Fartemis."
"And good morning to you, too, Aphrodite," Artemis said. "Although, out of the exam room, you'll call me Dr. Hunter."
"I'll call you whatever I freaking want!" Aphrodite squealed. "I'm way smarterer than you!"
"Just one -er, Aphrodite," Athena corrected.
"Shut up, Grammar Nazi!"
"So," said Artemis quickly, "Piper, here's the story of your wisdom teeth. Your top two are erupting, but your bottom two are coming in sideways. Since you're young, it's better to remove them now, so they don't cause you pain later in life. And while we remove those ones, we get the ones out on the top as well."
Aphrodite raised her hand. "Will it affect her face?"
"Only for a few days," Artemis replied. "Now, Piper, please open your mouth so I can see what your teeth look like."
Once Artemis did an exam, she looked at Aphrodite and Piper. "So, the two on top are going to shift your teeth unless we take them out, Piper. The ones on the bottom are going to cause pain and damage to your surrounding teeth. I'd suggest getting them pulled soon, and Athena and I would be more than happy to do it here."
"What are the complications?" asked Piper.
"Hardly any," said Athena, "besides some pain and swelling. There is a nerve in your lower jaw that might go numb if we operate too close to it."
"Don't worry," said Aphrodite, "I just learned how to make Jell-O last night, so it's all good."
"Do we have to praise her for that?" asked Artemis.
"We don't praise her for anything," said Athena. "It isn't wise."
"Well, Piper," said Artemis, "we'll go over what to do after surgery. Make sure you have someone here who can drive you home. We'll also put you on two painkillers and an antibiotic. Take them as directed. Asclepius will have them ready after the surgery is over."
"What about anesthesia?" asked Aphrodite.
"What a big word you used there," said Artemis in a baby voice. Then, she turned back to Piper. "We'll give you laughing gas first, then we'll knock you out with an IV, then we'll numb you with Novocain."
"Cool," said Piper.
"Excellent," said Artemis. "And…you shouldn't plan anything too strenuous for a few days after the surgery. We don't want you getting dry socket."
Aphrodite raised her hand, but the others ignored her. Aphrodite pouted and put her hand down.
CAMP HALF-BLOOD – THE APHRODITE CABIN
"So…" said Drew, "when's your extraction?"
Piper stared at her half-sister. Drew was putting a triple coat of mascara on, and Piper doubted she cared about the appointment.
"Next week on Thursday," said Piper.
"Who's taking you?" asked Lacy.
"Mom," said Piper flatly. "I don't wanna do this, though. Mom's a psycho."
"Yeah," said Lacy as she ran her tongue across her braces. "Mom's a psycho."
"So," said Drew, "I bet you're not supposed to eat or drink beforehand, right?"
"Nope," said Piper. "So, no breakfast for me that morning. Or else, I'll puke my guts out on Artemis and Athena."
"Eww!" Drew squealed. "That's disgusting, Piper!"
"That's not as disgusting as putting, like, a million shades of eye shadow on," Piper said bitterly. "Well, goodnight."
When the day of surgery came, Piper woke up to the monsters in the forest, growling at something. Piper slid out of her bed, took a shower, got dressed, and made her way to the dining pavilion.
"Where do you think you're going?"
She turned.
Will Solace was staring at her, his arms crossed. It was the kind of look he often gave Nico when Nico did something Will didn't like.
"Going to break—"
"Nope. Your stomach must be COMPLETELY empty," said Will, who knew about Piper's surgery already because he's the son of the medicine god.
Piper sighed. "Thought I could get away with it."
"Good luck, Piper," said Will.
"Could you tell Jason I'm leaving now?"
"Sure thing."
Piper ran down the hill toward Aphrodite's chariot. Aphrodite, as usual, had her high-heeled feet on top of the steering wheel, blowing bubbles with her gum, and reading a fashion magazine.
Piper got into the passenger's seat and glared at her mother. "Could you be any more annoying?"
"Sure," said Aphrodite. "ARES, ARES, ARES, ARES, AR—"
"I see," snapped Piper. "Let's get this over with."
Aphrodite pulled into the parking lot, and inside they went. When they got to the front desk, they were surprised to see Hestia sitting there.
"Hestia, you single, lonely goddess," giggled Aphrodite. "Just checking Piper in for her extraction."
Hestia blushed. "Oh…hello, dear."
"Hey," squawked Aphrodite.
"Shut up, Mom," said Piper. "She was talking to me."
Hestia ignored this and asked Piper to sign her name on the patient sheet on the desk. "Dr. Hunter will be right out, honey."
As they were waiting, the phone rang. Hestia picked it up. "Hello, and thank you for calling Olym—I mean—Tooth-Ripping Dental. This is…um…Rhea. How may I help you today?"
Aphrodite glared at Piper. "She said her name was Hestia."
"Well, yeah, Mom," snapped Piper. "But since we're in the mortal part of the planet, she's probably using a pseudonym."
"But Rhea's her mother."
"Sure, dear. I can book you today at noon. Okay, sweetie, we'll see you then."
"Does it really matter?" asked Piper, her heart starting to beat in her throat.
"Piper," said Athena, "we're ready for you."
Aphrodite walked over, too.
"No, Aphrodite. I'm afraid you're going to have to stay out here," said Athena.
"Why does my life suck?" asked Aphrodite.
"Oh, come on," said Athena. "Hestia, please give Piper her goodie bag."
Hestia came out of a side door, and handed Piper a bag. Inside, she found a new toothbrush, some floss, and a gift card to Freeze's (her favorite ice cream place).
Athena led Piper into the treatment room, but there wasn't a sign of Artemis anywhere. Athena had Piper sit in the chair, and Piper's vitals were taken. Athena then put a giant blanket on Piper, and then had her breathe in the laughing gas. Finally, Athena started the IV. And after that, Piper was out.
Meanwhile, Aphrodite was sitting calmly in the waiting room, texting Ares some very sexual things, when the door flew open, revealing Athena.
"You," she said to Aphrodite, "it's wise of you to come with me at once."
"Stop talking like a Medieval bitch," said Aphrodite, throwing her phone into her purse.
"She's done," said Athena. "Come with me."
Athena led Aphrodite into the treatment room. Thankfully, Artemis had gone into Dr. Jones' office to fill out the patient forms, so Aphrodite didn't have to talk to her.
Piper was sitting in the dental chair, whimpering. Suddenly, she threw up all over the blanket, but it didn't seem to bother her.
"She'll have no memory of the procedure," said Athena, handing Aphrodite the prescription. "Asclepius has it ready right now at House of Drugs down the street. She won't be able to walk by herself, so I'd suggest going through the drive-thru."
Of course, as soon as Aphrodite pulled into the parking lot of the pharmacy, she looked at Piper. "Okay, Pipes. Let's go in and get your drugs."
Yeah, it was hard for Aphrodite to follow simple directions.
When they got out of the car, Aphrodite let go of Piper, causing Piper to fall and spit a piece of the bloody gauze out.
"Ewwwwwww!" Aphrodite screamed. "That's nasty!"
"Pwetty," Piper giggled, poking the wet gauze with her finger.
"Oh, eewwwwwwwww!" Aphrodite screamed even louder.
When they finally came out of the drive-thru (Aphrodite realized that Athena was serious about the whole Piper-can't-walk thing), Aphrodite drove her chariot back to her palace.
"Okay, Piper," said Aphrodite, "get onto the couch so we can change your gauze."
"HAHAHAHAHA!" yelled Piper, drooling blood all over Aphrodite's newly-cleaned carpet.
Aphrodite felt sick to her stomach as she helped Piper change her gauze. I wish I could say that Aphrodite was a strong goddess, so she helped Piper successfully change out the gauze.
But if I told you that, that would be lying.
Aphrodite screamed, ran around the palace, threw the bloody gauze at Piper, and fainted.
Meanwhile, Piper was coming to again. She didn't remember anything before she got home, so—understandably—she was confused as to why her stupid mother was lying on the ground. Then, Piper saw the gauze, and she knew what had happened.
Quickly, she pulled a drachma out of her pocket, stumbled into the bathroom, and contacted Iris. "O, Iris, goddess of the rainbow, accept my offering," she said.
The rainbow shimmered.
"Show me Jason Grace," said Piper.
An image of Jason on the toilet greeted her.
Jason looked up. "Oh. Hey, Pipes. How'd it go?"
"My mom fainted," said Piper. "I'm here all alone."
"Okay. Uh…kinda busy, but I'll be over in a few."
After Jason did his thing, he summoned some air currents and appeared at Aphrodite's palace. There, he found Piper, rummaging through Aphrodite's freezer, looking for ice packs.
"Did you take your painkiller yet?" asked Jason.
"No. I can't find any food."
Jason pulled out a jar of applesauce, then poured some into a bowl. "C'mon, Piper. Here's your medicine."
Piper swallowed the pills with her applesauce. The pills made the patient feel sleepy and out of it, so Jason helped Piper to the couch, put some ice on her face, and stayed with her the rest of the day.
When Aphrodite finally came around, she discovered Piper asleep in Jason's arms. Before she could squeal about how cute they were, Jason gave her a look that said, Don't you DARE, Venus!
Okay, there it was. Originally, Eros' chapter was due to go up before this one, but I felt like Piper had to go first.
So…yeah…this was like my own experience. Almost completely fine now (and that's just after a week). The surgery actually made me throw up, so that wasn't fun.
Anyway, thanks for reading!