Hi everyone!

So, I know I've been doing a lot of gods lately, so after I get Eros out of the way, Grover will be next, followed by the rest of the demigods. Having trouble thinking of something for Clarisse and Thalia, so if you have ideas, let me know! This one is for Owlion12 for the idea.

STUPID CUPID

It was the best night of the year on Olympus: New Year's Eve! All the gods were heading over to Eros and Psyche's palace for the annual party.

Ding, dong, said the bell of the palace.

Psyche ran to the door while Eros continued to hang decorations wherever he could fit them. To Psyche's dismay, Aphrodite just sashayed into the freaking palace. Tonight, Aphrodite was wearing a red dress that was way too short. "Hi, Psyche," Aphrodite snapped.

"Hey, Aphro-Stupid," snapped Psyche.

"Mom," said Eros, "be nice to Psyche."

"Can I go take a dump in your bathroom?" Aphrodite asked, hopping around the foyer like a little kid.

Eros and Psyche shared an annoyed look.

"Yes," snapped Psyche.

The next person to arrive was Hephaestus, so the three of them ranted for a bit about Aphrodite. Then, in came Zeus, Hera, and Hebe, who were all ready to party.

"Mommy, is Fructus coming?" asked Hebe.

"Yes, hon. You'll see him soon," Hera replied.

"I'd advise all of you to watch out," said Zeus. "Hebe didn't sleep during naptime today, so she's like Hera when it's that time of the month."

Zeus was now bleeding ichor…and had several slap marks on his face.

"Well," said Ares, "I don't know where Aphro went, nor do I care! Eros, let's do some shots!"

After Ares, Eros, Zeus, Hephaestus, and all the other dude gods did, like, a lot of shots each, everyone started to get tired because it was well past midnight.

Finally, all the dude gods were so drunk that they fell asleep where they were standing. Some of them made it to the couch; others were sleeping in front of the toilet (this included Ares and Hephaestus). Apollo, Hermes, and Dionysus were on the floor in front of the TV, drooling on the carpet.

Meanwhile, Hebe and Fructus were sleeping in separate rooms (because Demeter didn't want Hebe giving her son any ideas).

When the sun finally came up, Eros was the first to awaken. Ugh…I feel so…AWFUL, he thought to himself. His stomach was hurting, his head was pounding, and he had dark circles under his eyes.

Once Eros stood up, his teeth started to hurt, too.

"Good morning, babe," said Psyche. "How are you feeling?"

"Well," Eros said, "everything was hurting, but now, only my teeth hurt. And it's pretty bad. Where's the Advil?"

"Ares just downed the whole bottle," said Psyche.

"Do we at least have any ice packs?" asked Eros.

"Hephaestus is using them because he fell asleep in front of the toilet, and when he fell, he banged his head…poor guy."

"DAMMIT, PSYCHE!" yelled Eros. "I'M IN AN ASS-LOAD OF PAIN RIGHT NOW! DO SOMETHING!"

"Okay, okay. Bastard."

Since Olympus Medical Center was open year-round, 24/7, Hestia got, like, no sleep. So, as Psyche expected, a groggy Hestia answered the phone.

"Thanks for calling the OMC," Hestia yawned. "How can I help you today?"

"Hestia, this is Psyche. Eros is in massive pain over a toothache, so can we have an emergency appointment with a dentist?"

"Sure," said Hestia sleepily. "Who would you like?"

"Anyone but my bitchy mother-in-law, Aphrodite," Psyche replied.

"I see," said Hestia. "Well, I'll see what I can do."

Psyche dragged Eros to the OMC, just in time for his appointment.

"Hey, guys," said Hephaestus. "I'm a little under the influence, but Hestia claims I'm sober enough to do stuff. Follow me. Oh, yeah, BTW, I'm not the dentist. I'm just the assistant."

When Eros and Psyche walked into the treatment room, Aphro-Stupid-Face was setting up for the procedure.

"I said not her!" Psyche screamed. "The Hades?"

"Oh, good. You're here," snapped Aphrodite. "Eros, is it okay if Mommy does the procedure?"

Eros was in so much pain that he didn't care who did the procedure, as long as the pain went away.

But Psyche had other plans. "Well…not really. I'd like someone smarter to do it."

Aphrodite smirked and threw Eros into the dentist chair. Then, she and Hephaestus sat down, put on their gear, and turned on the light. "Open wide!" Aphrodite sang (and that goddess CANNOT sing).

Five minutes later, Hephaestus and Psyche were both glaring at Aphrodite. Obviously, there was something wrong, but Aphrodite insisted, "There's nothing wrong, you little liar."

"Yeah, there is, Mom!" Eros screamed. "It's like someone's stabbing a knife in my face!"

"Aphrodite," said Hephaestus, "why don't I take a few x-rays."

"Okay. I screwed up my eyeliner this morning anyway, so I'll be right back." And Aphrodite stepped out of the room.

Hephaestus got in the chair and looked at Eros' teeth. "Okay, there's obviously a couple things wrong here," he said. "When was the last time you went for a checkup and cleaning?"

Eros thought about it. "Uh…I'm not sure…"

"It's been a while," said Psyche.

"I see a couple cavities," said Hephaestus, "but we'll take some x-rays just to make sure I don't have to do any root canals."

Once the x-rays showed up on the computer, Eros, Hephaestus, Psyche, and Persephone (the new assistant lady) looked at them together.

"Okay, two cavities," said Hephaestus. "We'll get those filled right away."

Once Hephaestus gave Eros the cherry-flavored topical, Eros flipped because he'd never had dental work done before…besides cleanings.

"Dude," said Eros, "I can't feel my tongue."

"That's a good thing, since I have to give you some shots," said Hephaestus. "Wanna see how big the needle is?"

Eros knew he'd regret it if he asked to see the needle. "Oh…my…gods…" he flipped out.

"I told you," said Hephaestus. And, after he gave Eros the Novocain, he began to drill.

While Eros was hanging out in the chair, Psyche nagged him about life. "Eros, this is why we go for checkups and cleanings."

"Uh-huh," Eros choked.

"Well, maybe you'll listen to me now," said Psyche bitterly.

Once Hephaestus was done with the fillings, he sat the chair up and Eros rinsed a few times. He freaked out because he saw lots of ichor dribbling down his chin, for Hephaestus had also done a cleaning.

"C'mon, Eros," said Psyche. "Let's go home so you can hang out."

Aphrodite had come back into the room at this point, and was having lots and lots of fun with the laughing gas machine. "Ooh…" she giggled. "I love this thingy so much!" And she inhaled deeply.

Eros was fine (but numb), but his mother wasn't. As they walked out to go to Eros' palace to clean up last night's party, Aphrodite glared at Hestia. "Why didn't you fall in love?" she barked at the hearth goddess.

"Lady Aphrodite," said Hestia blankly, "I didn't want to fall in love."

"Duh," Aphrodite squeaked. "But why?"

Hestia rolled her eyes, something she rarely did. "Aphrodite," she said, looking at the computer, "you'll need to schedule your next physical."

"C'mon, Eros," said Psyche as they were walking back to the palace, "let's get this hellhole cleaned up."