A/N: Hi, everyone!

First off, I wanted to apologize for not updating in forever. I have been so busy during the summer, which makes me feel horrible. Also, I have been going through the reviews for this FanFiction, and there are some really good ideas. Please keep them coming. I'm looking into doing some Greek heroes or minor gods (like Iris or something?). So…I have written your ideas down and while get to them quite soon! Now that my summer has kind of gotten less busy, I suspect I will have more time to write these stories and update! NO WORRIES…YOU'LL SEE YOUR FAVORITE MYTHOLOGICAL/PJO CHARACTERS!

Secondly, thank you all so much for the reviews! They truly make my day!

Finally, HotFire is like HotWheels (but it's Olympus-style), and I don't own The Little Mermaid or HotWheels.

This one comes from Huffleclaw sparkspixie7904 and LolzBolz02. Thanks for the idea, guys! This chapter might be a bit weird, but who cares? This is FanFiction…ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, RIGHT?

IT'S A…WHAT?!

It was a beautiful Friday night on Olympus. All the puny and immature gods had gone to bed, while the mature adult gods stayed up. Zeus and Hera were in bed together. Zeus had his shirt off and Hera was snuggled up next to him.

"Well, Hera," said Zeus, sounding surprised. "I must say, that was real fun."

"Yes. Yes, it was."

"I'm sorry for cheating on you."

"No you're not."

"You're right. I'm not." Zeus rolled over and fell asleep. Hera did the same after rolling her ox-like eyes.

A couple weeks later, Zeus and Hera were waking up to the immortal birds chirping. Zeus was just lying in bed, when his stomach started to kill him. He ran into the bathroom and threw up. (Now, my friends, if you know anything about the sky god, you know he's loud…at everything…including puking.)

Hera ran into the bathroom and put her hand on his forehead. "Uh…did you eat something weird?"

"No," said Zeus. "I don't think so."

"Well, if you keep doing this," said Hera, "I'll take you to Apollo."

For the next few weeks, Zeus continued throwing up every single morning. Hera had finally had enough, so she made an appointment with Apollo at the OMC.

"Okay," said Hestia, "Dr. Apollo will be right with you two."

Hera and Zeus sat in the waiting room. Hera was reading a magazine entitled: Apollo's Guide to a Perfect Tan, and Zeus was reading one called: How to Make Your Already Big Muscles BIGGER.

"Zeus," said Asclepius, "Dr. Apollo will see you now."

Zeus and Hera headed into the exam room, and Zeus sat on the crinkly paper. After Asclepius took Zeus' temperature and his pulse, he allowed Apollo to do his thing.

"So, medically, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong," Apollo said. "But…I'm going to run a blood test to see if you've got something."

Apollo jabbed Zeus with one big-ass needle, and sent Zeus and Hera home (after, of course, giving Zeus juice and a cookie for being a good boy during the blood test).

Zeus and Hera were now sitting on the couch when Zeus' phone rang. His caller ID read: IDIOT FACE. "Ah, Apollo," said Zeus. "I was just about to call you about my results—"

"Well, Dad," said Apollo. "Uh…um…ah…"

"WHAT IS IT, DAMMIT?" Zeus screamed.

"Dad…you're pregnant."

Zeus choked on his tongue. "Wh-what?"

"Yeah. I thought I read the wrong blood sample, because Iris came in and she thought she was—never mind. Yep, you're pregnant, so…yeah. I know this is a big shock but try not to get worried about it."

Zeus screamed like the girl he is, broke his phone, made out with Hera on the couch, and ran to Eileithyia's room. "ANNOYING DAUGHTER IN CHARGE OF PREGNANT WOMEN!" he screamed. "I REQUIRE AN EXPLANATION…NOW!"

Eileithyia was doing medical stuff on her laptop. "Yes, Dad?"

"Can boys get pregnant?"

"No, Dad. Only girls can do that."

"But…my idiot son Apollo told me that I was pregnant."

"Dad, I'll need to examine you. You're lucky…I have all the testing equipment right here."

Zeus sat on Eileithyia's bed.

"Dad, I'll need to run a test on you," Eileithyia announced.

Zeus opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue.

"Do you see me holding a swab in my hand?" Eileithyia asked irritably.

"No."

"Okay. Please lift your shirt while I turn on the ultrasound screen."

A few minutes later, Eileithyia confirmed that Zeus was…in fact…pregnant.

"How do I deliver this thing?" Zeus asked.

Eileithyia shrugged. "I don't know, Dad. I just don't know. Maybe Apollo would know."

"There's no time!" Zeus yelled at her. "I must plan for things!"

Zeus was now staying up late into the night, writing invitations for his first ever baby shower. He had come up with the invitations all by himself (a little card with a picture of himself and a baby next to him).

"Hermes!" Zeus screamed one evening. "Take these invitations to all the dude gods. There'll be a baby shower for my child!"

"Uh…"

"Just do it," Zeus ordered. "I'm the king."

Hermes zoomed around Olympus, delivering mail to all the guy gods. Then, he zipped down to Camp Half-Blood and invited all the demigods, too.

Percy was in archery class when an envelop hit him on the foot. TO: PERCY JACKSON, it read.

Percy opened it and began to read it:

Dear Percy Jackson:

You are cordially invited to the baby shower for Zeus' baby. Please be there or Zeus will be very upset and he might even kill you. You are required to purchase two gifts: one gift to give to Zeus upon entry to his palace, and one gift for the baby. Zeus would like a gift for himself because he thinks it's unfair that the baby should get all the attention.

Please RSVP at once to Hermes.

Yours truly,

Hermes, Messenger of the Gods

"Aren't baby showers only for girls?" Percy asked Annabeth as they walked down by the beach together (Percy was showing her the invitation).

"Yes, and usually only girls are invited while the boys do something else," said Annabeth. "But, this isn't the first time Zeus has been…'pregnant'. Remember when he gave birth to Athena? That was out of his forehead."

"Only because Metis, Athena's mom, was pregnant first, then dissolved into thought, then Athena popped out of his brain," said Percy.

"Yeah," said Annabeth. "Well, this is Greek Mythology, so I guess anything is possible."

Percy shrugged. "What should I get Zeus, and what should I get the baby?"

A few weeks later, Zeus' baby shower had finally arrived. Zeus had kicked all the girls out of his house, so now there were gods and demigods sitting in the kitchen and the living room.

Zeus cleared his throat. "Well, thank you all for coming to my baby shower! I liked most of your gifts upon your entry…except yours, Dionysus. Except yours. Now, it is time for me to open the baby's presents. Whose shall I open first? Dionysus, since I was disappointed in your entry gift, I shall open yours first so that I can humiliate you."

Dionysus handed Zeus a bottle wrapped in wrapping paper with balloons on it. Out fell a bottle of Diet Coke.

"That was the first thing I thought of," Dionysus said in a monotone.

Zeus clucked disapprovingly. "I will now open your other presents. Apollo, since you obviously don't know how to appropriately diagnose pregnant people, I will open yours next."

Apollo's gift was a golden bow with golden arrows.

"Uh…" said Zeus, "thank you, Apollo. I'm sure my kid will love it."

Ares got the baby a six-pack of beer.

"Thanks, Ares. I can't wait to drink with my kid, because I hate drinking with you," said Zeus.

Hades got Zeus nothing, and Zeus was pissed.

The guests all gave Zeus their presents. Among them included Helios' present (a set of HotFire chariots), Hephaestus' present (a hammer), and Poseidon's present (a fork, which Poseidon claimed was a "dinglehopper").

Finally, Zeus sat in his rocking chair and patted his tummy. "Well, thank you all for coming and for your lovely gifts…except yours, Dionysus. Except yours. Now, please help yourselves to bad food that Hera prepared last night and stuck in the fridge."

Everyone rushed to the table, where they piled their plates with meatballs, crackers, cake, and ice cream.

After the baby shower was over, and everyone was forced into karaoke by Apollo, Hera, Hebe, and Eileithyia came back home. Hebe went up to her room right away to play with Mrs. Snuggles and Mr. Fluffers, while Eileithyia went into her room to do more medical reports on her laptop.

"How was the party?" asked Hera.

"It was wonderful. I had a good time. Say, Hera, do we have any pickles and peanut butter? I'm craving those…together for some reason."

"I don't think so. I had a PB&J sandwich this afternoon for lunch and—"

Zeus started crying. "WHY DON'T WE HAVE THE SIMPLEST OF FOODS ANYMORE?" he wailed. "I'M SO UPSET THAT I'M CRYING…AND I NEVER CRY!"

"You cried last week when Rhea hugged you," Hera reminded him.

"Shut up, woman!" Zeus yelled at her. "I'm having mood swings today!"

"Clearly," Hera replied.

A few weeks later, Zeus and Hera were lying in bed, watching a TV show about puny mortals doing puny mortal things. Suddenly, Zeus felt a huge kick. He sat upright in bed and gasped in pain.

"What is it now?" Hera barked.

"I'm…going…into labor," Zeus panted. "My water just broke!"

"How the hell is that possible?" Hera asked.

"I don't know," said Zeus. "Just get me to the OMC…NOW!"

Hera pulled up to the OMC in her chariot. Zeus stumbled out of the chariot and walked into the waiting room.

Hestia, who was on the phone with Epimetheus, gave Zeus a gesture that told him to wait a second. "Okay, honey, your appointment for your stomach ulcer is tomorrow at nine with Dr. Asclepius." She hung up. "Hi, Zeu—"

"Hestia, I'm in labor."

Hestia stifled a laugh. "Uh…"

"Stop laughing at me!" Zeus yelled at her. "I am the king and require someone to help me give birth!"

Hestia looked at her brother. "Mother Rhea isn't here right now."

"GET…APOLLO…STUPID…HESTIA…UGLY…FACE!"

Hestia ran to Apollo's office. "Lord Apollo, Zeus is here with contractions. He's going into labor."

Apollo started to laugh. "This is just too funny, right, Hestia?"

"Don't let Zeus hear you," Hestia scolded him. "I already laughed at him and he yelled at me."

"I can hear you laughing, asses!" Zeus yelled from the waiting room.

Apollo put Zeus into a wheelchair and ordered Hera to come back as well. Apollo gave Zeus an epidural, waited for it to kick in, then gave Zeus his birth options.

"Well," Apollo said, "since you can't give birth in the…uh…normal way, we'll have to try something else. So, here are your options. You can give birth through your ears, your butt, or your head."

Zeus actually took his time weighing these options. "If I give birth through my ears, I'll probably be deaf forever and ever."

"Honey, how about your butt?" asked Hera.

"I'm not crapping my baby out, Hera," snapped Zeus. "I guess I'll do it through my forehead."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot I could just do a C-section, where I take the baby out of your stomach."

"I'll do that, then."

"Can do," Apollo said cheerfully. "Now, I'll let the painkillers kick in, then I'll do the baby-ectomy."

"Stop using big doctor words you know I don't understand," said Zeus.

Apollo rolled his eyes. "Okay." He left the room.

Hera took Zeus' hand. "I remember when you held my hand while I gave birth to Ares."

"Yeah, I don't," said Zeus. "Nor do I want to. Hey, Hera, I want to tell you that—OH, GODS, THIS HURTS SO BAD—that I feel no remorse for knocking those women up."

"I already knew that, darling," Hera said, her voice uncharacteristically calm.

"And I also wanna tell ya that you're deeply unattractive. Like, I'd rather be married to Echidna than you."

"What else?"

"I hate all our children."

"What else?"

"Danaë—a mortal—was way hotter than you."

"WHAT ELSE?!"

"HERCULES IS MY FAVORITEST PERSON EVER!"

Hera finally whacked Zeus across the face and left the room.

Finally, Apollo came into the room, dressed in green scrubs. "Okay, Dad. This is going to be really painful." He took his scalpel and made a ginormous incision in Zeus' stomach. There was ichor all over the floor, on the bed sheets, and on Apollo's brand-new scrubs. Finally, Apollo did more doctor stuff and brought a baby into the world.

"Congratulations, Dad. It's a boy!"

"Yay! I shall name him Zeus II!"

"Of course you will," snapped Apollo. He stitched Zeus up and went out to get Hera. "Hera, I'm done operating on King Stupid."

Hera walked into the room, where she found Zeus holding a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. "What's his name?" she cooed, kissing the baby's head.

"Zeus II," said Zeus.

"Oh, great."

Zeus was very pleased over the next few days. Gods and goddesses had come over to see Zeus II, and to ask Zeus to recount his story. But, like all gods and babies, Zeus got totally bored with Zeus II. So, his solution to the problem was to give the kid to Hephaestus, where they would make lots of fun crap together!

The end. I hope you guys liked it. Again, please PM me with ideas and REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!