This is going to escalate a little.

Ch 11: The Truth

"Belle." He whispered.

Beast gave him a confused look.

"My real name, it's Belle."

The confusion lasted only a moment before the world seemed to tilt beneath Beast's feet.

"Belle?" he asked trying to get a grip on reality. The slight nod confirmed his suspicion. "You're… a girl?"

A few tears slipped down Belle's face, and Beast wanted so badly to comfort him, or her, rather.

"I don't know what I am." She whispered. She shook so badly, Beast thought she might collapse. Without a word he guided her to the bench.

He studied her trying to see what he hadn't seen before.

It was strange.

Her features had the edge of masculinity, but there was softness too. He imagined with long hair she would be a striking woman. Unable to help as his gaze dipped south, he discerned that there was in fact bulging in the fabric of her shirt. Two quite noticeable breasts now that he was looking.

How had he missed that?

He felt so damned confused.

"I'm so sorry." Her head fell into her hands and Beast wondered if it mattered.

Did it matter she was a girl?

He was admittedly a little angry she hadn't told him sooner, but looking at her, he realized his feelings hadn't changed.

He still loved who she was, not just the form she came in.

"Ben. Uh, Belle?" Her head came up to look at him desperately. "It doesn't matter. I like you. Guy, girl, it makes no difference. You're who I want to be with."

She gasped out a sob and shook harder.

Beast thought she would be comforted by his words; her reaction was anything but.

"You can't want to be with me. Please, you don't understand. I'm not Belle. I'm not Ben. I'm somewhere in between and I don't know who that is."

"What do you mean? Please, talk to me."

Beast's pleading words helped her gather her composure. She took several deep breaths and prepared herself for what she was about to say.

"This is… really hard for me to talk about. I promised, my mom, when I was little. I promised her something that I was never supposed to tell anyone." She breathed deeply again, and Beast gave her an encouraging if confused look.

"I was born… different. I think you, if anyone, can understand. While your difference is more apparent, mine is much less obvious."

She struggled with what to say next. It wasn't something to talk about at all, much less with the person she wanted to be with.

"I'm not quite a woman or a man. I'm in between." She forced out, blushing from head to toe.

Beast gazed at her utterly confused. Knowing he still didn't understand; Belle took another shaky breath.

"You know what it means to be a man?" She asked him. "Physically?"

The bizarre question had his mind running wild. He thought of every fantasy of Ben- Belle, laid out before him for the taking. His britches tightened at the thought. He most certainly knew what it meant to be man.

"Yes," he told her his voice strained with desire.

She nodded, hesitated.

"And a woman?"

This question was technically more difficult to answer. He's never actually seen a naked woman before. He knew what a woman should look like based only on old paintings and the drawings from the books Lumiere made him study.

But the images in his head weren't bad ones. Was it possible for his pants to tighten more?

"Yes," he said again this time more slowly in confusion.

Belle gulped deeply.

"I am… both," she blushed looking utterly dejected.

It took a moment to understand her meaning. But when he did, he felt his eyes widen and amazingly the desire in his belly intensified.

"Oh." Was all he could think so say.

Images of what she was saying flashed through his head. He'd seen the evidence of breasts above and a cock below.

He was intrigued, and almost violently turned on.

Suddenly Belle was standing.

"I'll go. Thank you for everything you have given me, but I'll leave now." Her eyes were wild, lost, frantic.

The thought of her leaving quelled his desires and struck him with fear.

"Leaving?" he nearly gasped out the word.

She nodded her head, backing away.

"I'm so sorry for everything. I never thought that anyone would care for me. And it was wrong for me to feel this way. To let you feel the way you do. I can't… I can't-" her erratic breathing cut off her words. She took off running.

Thoughtlessly he ran after her. Catching her just as her foot reached the stairs. He grabbed her up, the fear and thrill of chase awakening his inner beast, spurring his need to claim her.

It wasn't until they were in his room, tossing Belle down on his bed tearing at her shirt, before he realized what he was doing. He removed his hands immediately and took a short step back.

His breathing was ragged and pained.

Belle stared wide eyed at Beast. His arousal was apparent, straining wickedly against pants. Belle felt her own desire grow at the look.

"I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time controlling myself." His voice was harsh, fighting his inner demon.

The look of desire on Belle's face was doing nothing to assuage him either.

"I want you so badly, Ben, Belle, whoever you are."

Her breathy gasp had him stepping forward again, losing the battle to the beast within.

"But-" Belle's words were cut off by Beast's lips. The feel of such raw masculinity filled her nose. Her stomach clenched from the pressure, making her moan in response. Beast growled against her lips.

"God I want you." He whispered again, reverently.

"You really do, don't you? How I look doesn't matter?" A sheen of tears formed in her eyes.

The raging desire Beast had felt seconds ago eased enough to make him really look at her. He could feel the confusion and see the pain as Belle looked upon him.

"I think you are perfect." He caressed her cheek gently.

"But you haven't seen all of me yet. Won't you be grossed out? I'm deformed."

Beast felt angry at her words.

"How can you say this? Look at me! Am I so deformed that I disgust you?"

Belle's eyes enlarged and she reached out quickly to hold his hands.

"No, never! I think you are so handsome. I enjoy the way you look. Your fur feels so soft, and the roughness of your hands is amazing when you touch me. It makes me feel things I've never felt before, being with you."

Beast could have attacked her there for the urgency that filled him at her words. He held back, though just barely. He needed to make sure she understood how he felt.

"If you can feel that way about me, why should I not be able to feel the same for you?" He countered.

"Because at least you're still a man. You have all the traditional parts."

Beast snorted.

"You call these traditional?" He gestured to the great horns on his head. "Or perhaps this is what you were referring to," now he pointed to the sharp incisors the extended from his lips.

Belle shook her head.

"No, but I like your horns. I've wanted to do nothing but touch them since I first met you. And your teeth," she paused for a moment contemplating, "they give you a sort of feral look. I like that too." She blushed again.

She liked his horns?

God this woman was killing him.

"You want to touch my horns?" He choked out, wanting her to touch him so badly.

Instead of answering, she tentatively reached up to stroke the projections.

At first contact, he shuttered. The smoothness of her fingers on his stone like antlers was unimaginably exhilarating.

"They feel so hard and yet living at the same time. The texture is sort of rough." Taking one horn in her fist she pulled firmly. Beast roared in delight.

"You need to stop, or I can't control myself." The warning elicited a thrilling chill through Belle's body.

"You like it that much?"

Beyond caring about any sort of propriety or the newness of their physical exploration, Beast brought Belle's hand down to his pants and pressed it there firmly. Belle moaned at the action.

"You're so… big. And hard." She shivered again.

"So are you." The meaningful glance to her own pants almost had her folding in on herself with embarrassment. She did however remove her hand from the bulge in his pants.

"It doesn't bother you? Truly? What I am?"

If it wasn't for the painfully shamed look on her face, he might have shaken her with frustration.

"Didn't we just go through this?" He asked dryly instead. She blushed harder.

"But I knew what you looked like from the start. I had time to get to know and learn to like you. This is all so new for you. You thought I was boy, and then briefly a girl, and now you know I'm not quite either. It's a lot to take in."

Her words pleaded for him to understand how she felt.

And he realized he did, and that she was right in some ways.

She had known from the beginning what he was and was able to be his friend in spite of his appearance. For her she felt the opposite was happening.

That outwardly she was normal, and he liked her for that. But now her perceived imperfections were coming to light. After all, wouldn't it be more difficult to think something was perfect then have that image shattered, rather than learning to like something you already know is different?

Sighing, desire completely gone now, Beast sat beside Belle on the bed.

In his need and fear he had brought her here. But a physical relationship was the last thing she needed right now. He needed to prove to her first that however different she might be, he liked her. That those imperfections she was so worried about, were more delightful to him than she could imagine.

"What do you want me to call you? I dislike the thought of calling you Ben if it was used to torment you."

The question took Belle completely by surprise.

"I guess it was. I've grown accustomed to it, though to be truthful I prefer Belle. It's what my parents called me. I grew up as a girl, though I know I don't look like one."

Giving her breasts a meaningful glance, Beast rose a brow. Flustered, Belle crossed her arms over her chest in embarrassment.

"Belle," he whispered. "I think you are lovely. But I'm not asking what you were or what others thought of you. What do you want to be?"

She looked so lost.

"I don't know what it means to be me anymore. Before my parents died, I loved being who I was; a little girl. I knew I was different, but I never really felt like it, until they were gone. Then suddenly everyday was scary. I always had to hide a large part of who I was. I was so afraid of what would happen."

She paused remembering what did happen. Beast saw the pain and wondered.

"Then when I came here, everyone assumed that I was a boy. And I'd never had that opportunity before. I was just accepted, and I could exist as I am. So much fear was gone."

Beast hurt for her. Hating how much fear she'd felt. How it was still haunting her now.

"But in my heart, I still think of myself as a woman most of the time, what my parents thought of me as. Yet, I don't think I can go back to just being a girl. Or at least what it meant to be one before. I like wearing pants and playing. I like being free to do as I want. Men have so much freedom, and I don't want to lose that."

Beast understood much of her fear. Women didn't have many privileges in this world. It could be a very hard life for a woman if she wasn't protected.

But wanting freedom, enjoying it, wasn't necessarily what it meant to be a man.

He thought for a while on what to say, how to make her feel better.

"Though I can't imagine exactly what you feel, I do know how hard it is to feel like you can't be yourself. I struggle constantly with the beast inside of me. And there is a part that longs for freedoms I cannot allow. But I have made peace with it. I have found what I can accept and what I cannot. If you worry that you should be constrained to the roles of gender, I can at least assure you here, you are free to be yourself. Man, woman, neither, simply tell me what to call you instead. I only want for your happiness."

She was silent her eyes looking deeply into his.

"Having the opportunity to be this side of myself was freeing in ways I never felt before. But no matter how happy I've been, there's a part of me that wasn't being entirely true. I don't know how to separate what I want from what I was raised to think I should want. At least not completely. I prefer to be called Belle, but I'm not sure if it's because its feminine or simply because it's the name my parents gave me. Does that make sense?"

Beast nodded.

"You've been hiding yourself for so long you just need time to figure it all out. For now, I will call you Belle. But if you find you dislike it, you need only let me know. Just understand, nothing has to change. You can continue to be as much yourself as you like. Wear whatever you want, roam the halls, play, be curious. Don't let your fear of what gender means control your actions. Simply learn what you like and what you don't."

Belle could have cried at his words. She needed so much to be accepted as she was.

"Thank you."

He gave her a tender look and brushed her cheek.

"You deserve to be happy. You never need fear when you are here in this castle. It is your home; I want you to feel comfortable."

She gave him a tentative smile.

"I have felt very comfortable here. More so than I have in a very long time." She paused, brows furrowing.

"What is it little one?"

"I understand that you can find in yourself to accept me, but what about everyone else?"

Her hesitation now made sense, though it was unfounded.

"No one here will care. I am a beast, they are objects, none of us is in a position to judge. They, like me, will understand better than others how difficult it is to be different. Believe me, if anything it will probably endear you to them even more."

Belle felt doubtful about that, but she hoped at least they could accept her as she was.

"Will you tell them about me then? I'm not sure I have the courage to do it myself."

Her worried look pained him.

"I wouldn't be surprised if they already know."

Brows rose in confusion and surprise.

"You have been with us for some time. I don't doubt any one of my servants may have inadvertently seen or noticed. They are a loyal bunch though and wouldn't want to make you feel embarrassed by bringing it up."

This disturbed and yet comforted her. She supposed it made sense. Even though she had been careful, there were too many servants in unrecognizable forms. She probably had exposed herself to some of them without ever realizing it.

"Are there servants here now?" she asked looking around, wondering.

The chuckled beside her filled her senses.

"No. This is the West wing. I don't allow anyone here."

"Oh!" She looked around at the space, realizing for the first time she wasn't in her own chambers. It hadn't occurred to her before that he had taken her to his room.

Torn furniture, gashes in the wall, and debris was littered about the place. She knew he had done the damage she witnessed, she only wondered why.

As if sensing her question, he shifted uneasily beside her.

"I have an issue with my temper. With the beast. I keep this area free of others because I am afraid to hurt someone. This is a sort of sanctuary where I can let go if I feel myself slipping. That is why I asked you to never come here."

She felt deeply concerned at his confession. How awful it must be to lose control like that. To be worried of hurting someone without meaning to.

"Does it hurt you? When you lose control, I mean."

He frowned slightly.

"No. Not physically, at least."

Contemplating his words, she looked about the room. The toll it must take on him to know he could do this even without wanting to.

"You said you have a temper. Is there anything that helps?"

Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, Beast thought about her question, how he could answer it without scaring her.

"Apart from destroying things, I don't know. Once started, it's nearly impossible to stop. The rage is so strong. I can get myself here in time, but that's it. I'm gone."

The sad look in his eye tortured her.

"I promise I won't come here without your permission then if that's a concern. I wouldn't want to put you in such a position."

A sweet smile graced his lips.

"So caring you are Belle. I feared your judgement, censure even. But here you are so sweet and understanding. What did I do to deserve such a creature?"

Warmth bloomed in her chest.

"I ask myself the same of you."

Gently, he pulled her close, hugging her softly. The warmth felt lovely on her cool skin. After a moment he leaned back.

"I was hasty earlier." He mentioned stroking the torn cloth of her shirt. "The thought of you leaving… it was too much. I'm sorry if I scared you. You should know I had no intention of hurting you. The beast craved something else this time."

Color filled her cheeks.

"Oh, um, you didn't scare me. I, uh, I liked what you did." She felt breathless in her response.

His eyes darkened.

"I see." He nuzzled her neck with his nose. She gasped at the wonderful contact, letting her head fall back.

"I think I should take you to your room Belle." The rich raspy sound of his voice did nothing to assuage the burning in her stomach.

"My room?"

He nodded against her neck, kissing it gently.

"I want you, the beast…I fear losing control if I don't get you away from me."

It should have scared her. Instead it inflamed her.

Still, this was all so new. So much had changed, and they needed time to know one another better. He probably wouldn't be comfortable with her like that yet.

"I understand."

She stroked the fur of his face, feeling more than a little warmed at how he leaned into her touch.

"I think with time, this will be easier."

She wondered how much of him wanted her. The beast did, of that she was certain. But maybe the man wasn't ready yet. And maybe he was fighting because he wanted to be the one to make that decision.

"Can I kiss you?" She asked, hopeful.

He looked very surprised.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea. Having you here, kissing you, it would be asking for trouble." His eyes were sad, hating how he was letting her down.

Belle understood, but it didn't stop the feeling of hurt at his rejection.

"Walk me to my room?" She asked instead, trying to mask her disappointment.

His nod was short.

They journeyed slowly to her room. Belle felt more peaceful walking beside him quietly, knowing most everything was out in the open now.

When they made it to her door, she didn't want to say goodbye.

"Thank you," she whispered with a smile.

Beast took her hand, kissing it softly. Warmth spread up her arm from the contact.

"Sleep well."

She nodded, entering her room.

How much had changed in such a short time. And how she hoped that feeling of excitement and happiness would last.

AN: Welllll? You like? Don't like?

Belle still has a lot of soul searching to do.

I wanted to throw them together immediately, but I figured we need to pace ourselves.. at least a little… maybe? No?

Thanks for the reviews! I always love hearing from you :)