Ch 12: In the Library

~Beast's POV~

It had been very difficult holding back from kissing her, but Beast felt it was the right decision. He knew Belle had been disappointed, he only hoped that she understood it had nothing to do with how he felt about her.

He just wanted to keep her safe.

Allowing liberties had awoken the beast within, and it had been very difficult to fight. In fact, apart from the rage, it was one of the strongest feelings he'd ever had before.

Beast realized it was probably because of how much he cared for Belle. How honored he'd been that she'd finally confided in him.

It wasn't everything, he was sure there was more to her, and her story. But the fact that she had opened up a huge part of herself. A part that he might have scorned or ostracized her for.

Not that he would have, but she didn't have that certainty when she'd told him the truth. She trusted him.

God, how that filled him with such love and terrible pain.

Belle trusted him, a beast!

It was astounding.

Beast vowed he would do everything in his power to honor her trust. To make sure she always felt comfortable around him.

To love her so completely, that she would never question she was anything but perfect for him.

He knew she had a long way to go. There was so much she needed to work through in her own mind.

He'd been there, once upon a time. Struggling to understand the body they were stuck with. To work with it the best you could and find happiness despite it.

Maybe it was different for her since she'd never been accepted as completely herself before. Even her parents, though they loved her, still forced her to be who they thought she should be. They didn't give her to opportunity to be who she was on the inside.

Beast would change that.

He would make sure Belle had every chance to explore every part of herself.

Beast smiled to himself as he considered his own thoughts. He wanted to explore her too.

Not because she was different, but because he wanted to prove to her how lovely she is. How he wanted to be with her because it was her.

That her body, no matter how she felt about it, was just a body. One that could experience pleasure and pain alike. And that it was her mind, her character that he really loved.

He imagined it would take some time to prove it. That he would have to shower her body with praise and pleasure before she could accept the truth. Not that it would be a hardship on him, he was certain.

Attending to her every desire sounded of a flawless life.

But he wanted it to be more than that. For her to find acceptance in her own eyes.

That would be true perfection.

For now, he resolved himself to being there for her. To show her she would be accepted in his home and arms. And with time she would see the truth.

…

~Belle's POV~

After the night of her confession, Belle felt like everything would change. That despite Beast's words, there was no way for things to resume back to normal.

But she was wrong.

No one seemed to bat an eye at calling her Belle. In fact, the castle seemed happy as ever. Belle wasn't sure if it was because of the party, or if they were really so happy she finally felt open enough to be herself.

But after a few weeks had passed, she knew it wasn't just because of the celebration.

"Are you sure you don't want to wear the dress today?" Mrs. Potts asked sweetly for the third time in a row this week alone.

Belle almost sighed.

She supposed it was natural for Mrs. Potts to want her to wear a gown, now that she was going by feminine pronouns. But Belle didn't want to.

Something about donning a dress made her heart beat wildly. It scared her.

Maybe because it represented the life she had before she came there. A life of hiding and fear and shame.

Despite the fact she had hidden part of who she was here in the castle too, it wasn't the same. She'd been more true to herself than ever before these past months.

And the thought of even potentially changing that hurt.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Potts. Not today." She kept her tone soft.

Mrs. Potts to true to character, gave a small noise of self-reproach.

"Oh deary, no need to be sorry. Tis I who should be sorry for pushing you. To my defense I'm only doing it because I think you'd look good in it, not for any other reason."

It helped, hearing that.

"It's okay. I know you mean well. I- it's," Belle started and stopped trying to think of what to say. "It's frustrating, I guess. I like dresses, but I'm not ready for them yet."

Mrs. Potts seemed to understand.

"Oh sweetheart, you can do things at whatever pace makes you feel most comfortable. I think you look lovely no matter what you have on. And the dresses will be here for you when or if you're ever ready for them."

Belle gave Mrs. Potts a warm smile. It was times like that she wished she could hug the matronly woman.

"How about this then? The green will go well with your eyes." Mrs. Potts moved on to a different outfit. An off-white blouse with a deep green vest and brown pants. Belle liked it instantly.

"Perfect."

Mrs. Potts beamed.

"Well you get dressed and I'll have breakfast sent to the library for you." And the little teapot scurried away quickly to get to work.

Belle had begun taking her morning meal in the library recently. She felt a certain peace and calm in there. Every once in a while Beast would join her, and they would have a lovely chat while they ate.

Since she'd confessed a few weeks prior it seemed Beast was going more out of his way to make her feel welcome and comforted.

It was nice, but it was also infuriating too.

Not that she didn't love how wonderful he was being, it was just hard to be so close to him all the time and not want him.

He'd been affectionate as ever, holding her hands, kissing her cheek, giving her these deep loving looks at every turn.

But he hadn't kissed her. Not, at least, in the deep passionate way he'd done that first time. He'd given her short sweet pecks on the lips, that left much to be desired.

She understood why he did it. Because he didn't want to push himself, or her. She knew he was controlling himself the best he could, and she couldn't fault him for that.

The gentle intimacy had given way to a deeper connection. One not based in her physical form, but on her mind. It was exactly the sort of thing she needed. To feel like she was more than just her body, but a person.

But as they grew closer, having longer, deeper talks, her desire for him grew stronger too.

And now she desired so badly she could hardly stand it.

"You look lovely this morning," Beast called making her jump, a hand flying to her heart.

She'd been so deep in thought on her way to the library she hadn't noticed him.

Her laugh was light as she faced him now.

"You startled me." But a smile was in her voice.

"My apologies. I came to see if you would like some company this morning." His eyes watched her, a warmth lurking in them.

"I always love having your company," she returned, making him grin.

They walked into the library together, taking a seat on the couch where a tray of food waited for them.

They ate in comfortable silence for a few moments.

"I'm surprised you joined me today. You've been busy this week." Belle's tone was friendly and curious.

Beast sighed, obviously not happy with his current schedule.

"Too busy. But I couldn't wait another minute to spend some time with you."

Belle blushed deeply, feeling warmed by his words.

"You didn't say, why have you been so busy?"

Beast rubbed his jaw thinking.

"I own the neighboring lands, and villages. There is much to manage; taxes, people, overall needs. I do my best to provide for them from a distance, but it's difficult since I can't visit in person. Relying on scouts or third parties while maintaining anonymity is difficult."

Belle's eyes widened.

"Wow, that is a lot. So you have a person, or people that report to you?"

Beast nodded.

"I've arranged through letters and referrals a few surveyors to keep an eye on things for me. It's no replacement for being there myself, but it's the best I can do."

Belle considered his words, while chewing her toast.

"I guess you can't ever visit yourself?" It was a question, but she felt she already knew the answer.

Beast shook his head.

"It's too risky. I tried in the past to hide my appearance and hold meeting in ill light settings. But it arouses much suspicion and causes more trouble. I once was sighted by a young boy in one of the villages. Tales of a giant monster lurking around eating children took off. I found it best not to go back after that."

Belle could understand why. He might be a beast, but he wasn't immortal. He could have been killed if the wrong person had seen him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."

But beast was shaking his head, giving her a wonderfully sweet smile.

"Never fear asking me anything Belle. I'm happy to discuss my work, though I admit it is quite boring."

She loved how he included her in his life and was always eager to let her in.

"I don't think it's boring. I do wish there was some way I could help though. Maybe I could go to some of the villages for you? So you wouldn't have to rely on people you don't know."

It was an interesting idea. She couldn't say she wanted to leave the castle, but if it would help him, she'd do it.

"While I appreciate the offer, I must confess I have no intention of letting you do so." His eyes nearly blazed. It startled and aroused her greatly.

"You don't think I'd do a good job?" Her brows rose, obviously teasing him.

But something dark lurked in his eyes and he hesitated to answer.

"No. You would probably be excellent at it."

He sounded so stuffy and formal.

Belle almost smiled.

He was upset at the thought of her leaving!

Belle admitted she was feeling quite devious. Perhaps she would push him a little more.

"Well then, why not let me? Wouldn't you like having someone you know do the surveying for you?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, but the trips would take a great deal of time. Even if it was just the bare minimum it could take weeks."

Belle nodded, determined not to smile at his discomfort.

"But that's not so bad. Even if I was gone a few months it wouldn't be that much time."

He stilled at her words.

"Months?" his voice almost cracked.

"Well sure. You said it could take weeks. And I wouldn't want to do a poor job. The best way to get to know the village is to live there for a little bit. Probably for a week or two. To get a feel of the needs of the people and have time to do the work set out."

Though she was teasing, she also saw the truth of the words. A good overseer would want to know each village and their respective needs intimately.

Belle looked over to Beast, who was currently glowering at the floor. Though she was teasing him it made her feel bad.

"Though I stand by what I said, I must admit I am too selfish to take on such a job."

Beast's eyes popped up, obviously startled.

"I'd miss you too much to be gone for one week let alone months," she laughed lightly, hoping to take the pain in his eyes away.

He drew a ragged breath and closed his eyes. Belle was amazed by how affected he was.

Not knowing what else to do to comfort him, she scooted to his side and wrapped her arms around him in a big hug.

"I'm sorry. I was only teasing you about being gone. While I would love to help, I wouldn't be comfortable being anywhere without you." She told him truthfully.

His arms wound around her frame and before she knew it, she was pulled into his lap, his face buried in her neck.

"I shouldn't be so affected, but the thought of you leaving, even for a short time-" his words cut out. Belle felt horrible at how much distress she caused.

"Beast," he looked up and she stroked his cheek. "You must know I care far too much about you to want to go anywhere."

His eyes darted back and forth, as if trying to decide something.

It made Belle ache for his touch. Being this close, in such an intimate position. Oh how she wanted him.

Without warning his lips crashed against hers.

As he pressed, her mouth opened, his tongue sweeping out to taste her. A guttural sound emitted from the back of her throat, and she found herself pushing back into him harder.

Suddenly his paws were in her hair, while her hands gripped his shoulders.

Their kiss was encompassing. Not quite rough, but overwhelming. She couldn't get enough of him. Her own tongue pressed into his mouth with urgency, meeting his.

Every fiber of her being demanded more.

When he squeezed her tightly, her body rubbing against his, the pleasure that shot through her was indescribable.

"Belle," he whispered against her between kisses. "We need to stop."

Though it was the last thing she wanted, the part of her that was worried about pushing him too far took over.

She pulled back breaking away from his lips completely, though she stayed seated in his lap.

They panted, watching each other.

She blew out a ragged breath and mumbled a 'sorry' before trying to move off of him. But his grip tightened, and suddenly she was being dragged up against a hard wall of muscle again.

Her moan was deep when his lips crashed against her far more roughly this time. The tension was greater, her senses more heightened.

"Beast!" She cried out when he pushed his hips up against hers.

"Damn it Belle." He growled back, shuddering at the contact of her body pressed so wonderfully against his.

"Wha-?" Her words were laced with desire and confusion.

"I can't bare it," he groaned, nuzzling her neck. "I've been trying to go slow. To give you time to adjust to this, to me."

Belle heard the desperation in his voice.

"But then you look at me like that. Like you can't get enough, and I want nothing more than to give in. To take you."

His words were husky with restraint and they thrilled Belle completely.

"You mean, you're holding back for me?"

Beast's eyes widened slightly, before turning sad.

"You can't think it's because I don't want you." He murmured. Belle shrugged her shoulders slightly.

"I don't know. You've been keeping things light. I thought maybe you weren't ready for anything more than being friends."

Her words were soft and understanding.

"Belle, I want to be yours more than anything else. I want to hold and kiss you like this so much it's driving me crazy."

Belle looked up feeling warmed and a little overwhelmed.

"Why do you hold back then?" She really wanted to understand.

"Because I don't want to hurt you."

Tortured eyes watched her, pleading for understanding and relief.

"You've never hurt or rushed me. I like this. I want this." She gestured to the intimate position between them. "I love the way you make me feel."

Beast shuddered beneath her.

"You can't imagine how happy this makes me Belle." He kissed her neck, making her feel hot and breathless. "That you want this. That you're enjoying my touch."

She shivered, her body aching for more.

"I can imagine. I've been wanting this just as much." She breathed out, making him groan deeply. "You make me feel so- whole."

She tried to describe. To let him know just how much he affected her.

He nuzzled her sweetly.

"You are whole. And perfect." He kissed along her throat invoking every nerve ending to stand at attention.

Belle shivered unable to control her reactions to him.

"Is this too much?" she found her voice after a long moment. He looked up questioning. "I want you to- kiss me, touch me, but is too much for you?"

His eyes softened.

"No. I'm in control." His eyes hesitated for a second. "You want me to touch you?"

Belle's thighs clenched at his words. She knew he felt it by the way his eyes widened.

"Yes. More than I can bare."

His eyes darkened, and his paws slid up her sides.

"Where do you want me to touch you Belle?" He whispered, his claws just barely brushing the underside of her breasts.

He knew where, but he wanted her to say it.

Belle placed her hands over his, pushing them up slowly, until they cupped her mounds. Her nipples hardened instantly from his touch.

"Here," she swallowed deeply, loving the feel of his hands on her.

And when he began to knead, her head fell back with utter bliss. Her whole body was aflame with desire.

"God Belle." He gritted out huskily. "You're so perfect."

His hands massaged her while his lips caressed her neck, traveling down her throat. She became a mass of aching nerves in his palms.

And a pressure was building low in her abdomen. A spring winding ever tighter, as he caressed her, rocking into her hips rhythmically. And when his mouth covered her breast through the cloth of her shirt she screamed, the coil finally snapping.

Pure blinding pleasure shot through her violently.

Belle couldn't think, couldn't grasp the level of pleasure she'd just experienced.

"Christ Belle." Beast growled against her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize, I've never-" she panted out trying to find the words. Beast gave her with a curious gaze.

"You've never orgasmed before?" His voice was incredulous.

Belle blushed at her own lack of experience, but Beast looked positively pleased.

"I can hardly believe you've never touched yourself before. Did you never want to?"

Belle felt so embarrassed at her reaction.

"No. Not really. At least, not until I met you."

He eyed her ferociously.

"You have no idea what you do to me." He practically growled.

But Belle could see exactly how he felt.

"I want you to feel good too."

Beast growled lowly.

"I do Belle."

"I want to help. Can I?" she looked down at the hardness between them, reaching out a tentative hand, waiting for permission.

After minor hesitation he nodded.

She brought her hand to his pants, stroking him softly from the outside.

His body shuddered against her, and she knew it felt good.

Encouraged, she cupped him more firmly rubbing up and down, exploring his length.

His lips captured hers in a searing kiss, that made her feel drunk with lust.

She kept her pace even, picking up slightly when his breath caught.

Much like what he did to her, she kissed his face, his neck, nuzzled into him while she caressed. His hips started bucking into her hand more wildly and she knew he was close.

After biting down on his shoulder hard, he growled loudly and twitched fiercely beneath her hand. As wetness seeped through the cloth Belle felt giddy with satisfaction.

She had done that.

When her eyes found Beast's, he was looking at her with such affection it made her heart throb.

"You're incredible." He whispered, kissing her lightly.

"I think you are too."

His gentle smile filled her in all the right places.

"I think we are both in need of a change of clothes." Beast commented humorously making Belle blush furiously.

"Ah, yes."

Beast must have found her mumble funny because he laughed.

"You make me puddy in your hands and now you're embarrassed."

His words only made her blush more deeply.

"You're perfect Belle. In every way."

Looking into his eyes, she knew he meant it.

AN: So things got a little spicy ;) Not a particularly revealing chapter, but I think they needed this bit of comfort and growth to set up for what's to come (pun intended!)

Hope you guys are still hanging in there and want more!

Thanks for all the love it's been awesome to hear you like the direction of the story.