Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in Twilight

Previously: "You have to suck the venom out of her bloodstream or else she will change!"

"I can't… I don't know if I can stop"

"Find the strength to stop! Hurry! Before it's too late!"

"Alice, Esme! Let's get Jasper away from here! Now!" Carlisle's voice sounded muffled as I turned around to face Bella who was now on her knees.

"Edward! Help!" Bella cried and I kneel ed in front of her and took the hand where Jasper bit.

The moment my lips touched her skin, the monster rejoiced in triumph.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Forty-eight hours, I listened to the sound of IV dripping as it coursed through Bella's unconscious body to give it sustenance while waiting for her to recover.

I have been staring at it all the time while waiting for any signs of Bella waking up.

I thought back at the moment that her blood coursed through me and It was more than what I had imagined it would taste like. Even with the venom corrupting her blood, the taste was so warm and unbelievable that at one point, I wasn't sure if I was willing to stop. But I did.

I wasn't sure if it was because of Bella's soft murmurs, telling me that she was okay or when Carlisle came back for me, that helped me to stop. I thought I have overdone it but Carlisle assured me that I was able to remove the venom out of her system.

He said that I saved her, but… did I really?

Looking at her unconscious body now and everything that happened, things couldn't get any worse.

"hmmm" Bella stirred and I was at her side in an instant.

"Edward" was the first thing that came out of her lips and she broke into a smile the moment our eyes met.

"I'm here, Love. How do you feel?" She made a motion of sitting up and I helped her so she can sit up on the bed slowly.

"I'm okay. My body is a little weird and I feel kinda woozy" Leave it to Bella to make light of her near-death experience.

"That's probably because of the blood transfusion that Carlisle had to perform. You… lost a lot of blood."

She stared at me intently and I realized that she was looking straight into my eyes and I immediately looked away so she won't see the trace of monster that I have become after drinking her blood.

"Don't" She held her hand up to my cheeks as she gently tried to turn my head back to face her. I eventually complied.

"Eerie…" She was staring like she was mesmerized and I felt like there was something that she wanted to say but was holding back.

"What is it Bella?"

Her face distorted "I'm going to sound like a sadistic human but… knowing that you drank my blood and is now, running through your system, I feel like a part of me is now tightly bound to you and somehow… I'm okay with that."

I grimaced at her way of thinking. "I know… I know… sorry" She saw my reaction and I sat down beside her. She immediately leaned her head on my shoulder.

"That was a necessity… to save your life."

"I know. It's not like we're gonna make that a recreational thing. I'm not sure if I wanted to relive that moment" I cringed and then unexpectedly, she held my hand and her eyes were full of sympathy.

"I can't imagine the pain you all went through during the transformation. It must have been hard enduring that"

"It is. Except for Alice, we all remember all too well the pain that came with the change. It's not something to be taken lightly" I warned her. Maybe because of this, Bella would rethink her decision of becoming one of us someday.

"Even for just a few seconds… it was… overwhelming. I didn't have any control. No matter how strong I would be able to get as a human, I'm not sure I would be able to prepare myself to relive that pain again."

I sighed. It was silly of me to think that Bella had changed her mind.

"Speaking of which… why didn't you let the change happen?"

It took a few seconds before I was able to answer.

"Bella… no matter how against I am for you to becoming like us… if… that moment does come, it's because you chose it and not because of some… accident that forced you to change. It's hard enough as it is."

And if It was up to me, I would make sure that she would never be faced with that decision. Ever.

Day by day, Bella's strength was slowly returning thanks to the blood transfusion and to her fast healing abilities but day by day, I was also filled with dread knowing that anytime, another mistake can be made.

I found myself pulling away. Though I never once left her side since the incident, I have tried to keep my distance and I knew that she knew what I was trying to do.

My kind, my family, me. From a small bruise to a vampire bite, we have all done something to hurt her whether intentionally or not and I was afraid that one day, she'll realize that she can't take this any longer. The guilt that I was feeling was too much that not even Carlisle's words or Esme's comfort can relieve me of what I'm feeling.

"Will you be staying with me tonight?" Bella looked at me as she sat on the bed.

"If you want me to"

"I want you to." She patted the empty space beside her and I dutifully sat down. She immediately wiggled her way closer to me but this time I didn't move away. Deep inside, I was trying to savor every second I can to be with her as a decision in my mind was forming.

My phone rang. I already knew who it was.

"Alice" I answered the phone.

"You're going to suffer. You know that." Alice was speaking softly and away from the phone so that only I could hear even if Bella's hearing was almost as good as ours.

"It's for the best"

"For her of for you?" I didn't answer right away. I looked at Bella and she smiled reassuringly at me. She was putting in a brave face for me and I couldn't bear it.

"it doesn't matter." I finally told her.

"Can I speak to Alice?" Bella asked and I handed her the phone.

"Hi Bella." I could hear Alice's voice now closer.

"Hey Alice…. Ahmm how's Jasper?" She asked softly.

"He'll be fine don't worry."

"Please tell him not to be too hard on himself. I know he didn't mean it. I forgive him Alice." I saw in her eyes that she really meant it and I cannot fathom the faith that she put on us.

"I know and it's nice to hear that directly from you. Thank you Bella. It means a lot to me and to him." I could imagine Alice smiling on the other line.

"See you soon 'kay?" The other line was silent for a few seconds.

"Take care Bella. We have to go now" Was the only thing Alice could say.

"You too". Bella handed the phone back to me when the call ended.

We were silent for a few minutes and Bella started to yawn and slowly laid down on the bed.

"Get some rest." I kissed her forehead.

"I want to but I feel like If I close my eyes now, you won't be there when I wake up" She said solemnly.

"Hush love. Everything will be alright. You'll see" I told her.

"Edward?" She said with her eyes closed.

"Hmmm?"

"I love you" I sat there dumbfounded. After everything I have put her through, she still found a way in her to love me. It was too much to ask.

"And I you". I spoke softly and her lips curved in a smile before she finally let herself fall into a deep sleep.

For a while, I really thought everything was finally in place. Except for the argument of her immortality and the complications that may arise of her memories returning... I really thought that somehow... after all that I have been through, after all that I have done, that I deserved to be with her.

She was a human, struggling with her abilities and she understood us, accepted us for who we are and loved us... loved me. It was more than what I could have asked for and I was starting to accept that fact but this... this is beyond me... seeing her hurt... and the worst part was, she was a strong human. She wasn't defenseless but when she was with us, all her defenses were down because... she trusted us. She didn't need to be cautious when she was with us because she knew that we wouldn't hurt her...that I... wouldn't hurt her and look at what happened! It doesn't matter if it was me or Jasper or any other member of the family.

It was wrong for us to assume that she was safe with us. Only a monster could do this to her and I was one.

She doesn't deserve this! She doesn't deserve me. She can find a life in this world without having to be in danger because of someone like me! Or better yet, she would be able to find a way back to her world and she would finally be safe from me. Right now, her life would be better off without me... a clean break... that's what she needed.

I looked around the house. Ever since Esme made it, Bella has made a few decorations that made it look her own. I was glad. This was something that I can't take away from her. She needed a home here while she was trying to find a way back to her world and that home didn't have to have anything to do with me.

With that thought in mind and my dead heart slowly being broken into pieces… I started my work.

"Son, is this really what you want?" Carlisle looked at me with grave eyes. We were standing at the porch, all bags packed and ready to leave. Alice and Jasper already left right after the incident. Bella already forgave him but he hasn't been able to forgive himself, not yet anyway and I understood him.

There were no arguments with Carlisle and Esme when they saw me get back from the cottage with all my things in tow. They knew what I planned to do. They only wanted to make sure in their mind that leaving Bella is what I wanted.

It's not but it's not about what I want now. Bella needs to be safe and this is the only thing I know that would keep her that way, no matter what I feel. I would stay miserable for the rest of my existence as long as I know that Bella would be able to live her life free from all this danger that our family has brought upon her.

Everything has already been arranged. Carlisle had filed for immediate resignation at the hospital. Rosalie and Emmett already made arrangements for us so we could stay at their place for the time being. Alice and Jasper would know where to find us as soon as they get back from Alaska.

Before we left, I made a call to Barry Johnson to give him the address of the house, hoping that Bella would not try to leave this place. Barry was the only person now who can help Bella return to her world and I needed to make sure that he continues to help her. He even knew about the large donation that our family recently made to Seattle Tech to fund the device they were building to help Bella get her memories back.

Bella doesn't know about it yet but Barry promised to make sure that she would be aware about the project. I know she would be willing knowing that it can help her bring her memory back.

I wanted to make sure that wherever she decides to build a life for herself, here or her world, if she ever finds a way back, she would be free from this.

I nodded to Carlisle.

Very well then.

One by one, we got in the car but before leaving, Esme gave a mournful glance at the now empty house.

"Will she be all right?" her words mirrored her thoughts and I looked at the house one last time and I knew that the moment we leave, my soul, my every being, will be left behind and I will be never be complete again.

"She will be now."

A/N: Whew! I'm really having a hard time writing the depressing parts that's why I have been delaying the next few chapters. Will get to work on it now that I have a little bit of free time in the afternoons.

Hope you like the story XD