Special Chapter!
Bane of the Government: 251-270
Okay, so I'll admit it. I was bored as all hell, and Infinity pointed me towards the United Council of the Mulitverse in an effort to keep me from doing anything too destructive while he was away on a business trip. I smuggled in the Organization for a week, locked out everyone that worked or lived there, and then we proceeded to break every rule on the list before making a break for it. Infinity informed me that after he got back from his business trip he would be personally adding these next ones to the list...
As least now that I've broken into their records, I can prove without a doubt that I only own myself!
251. Veronica is not allowed to create an Infinity Stone Tiara.
But it looked so pretty and sparkly!
Sure it warped reality around me and left twelve people a jibbering mess after the Mind Stone affected them, but it was so sparkly!
You know I have a weakness for sparkly shit Infinity so don't look at me like I'm crazy!
252. Veronica is not allowed to create self sustaining tornados.
Xaldin was all too happy to help me with that one. As far as I know those duches on the Council are still trying to get rid of the category three we unleashed in the Halls. Serves them right.
253. Xemnas and Darth Vader are not allowed to duel.
That was awesome!
Granted the fanboys were annoying as all fuck, but still, AWESOME!
And there were no hard feelings when Vader won.
They DID manage to destroy half the council building during the fight though...
All the more power to us then!
254. Demyx and revolving doors... NEVER AGAIN!
We challenged him to slam a revolving door as a joke...
...He walked in circles for FOUR HOURS!
How can anyone be that stupid?
It's only funny for so long. Then it's just sad.
On the bright side though he finally got frustrated enough that he flooded the Council Building's lobby!
255. I am not allowed to bring in the characters from the Ansem Retort.
(Laughs...Hard)
Zexion was horrified when he found out that his counterpart was a stoner!
The two Axels got along like a house on fire! After they lit what was left of the Council building on fire that is...
Marluxia was twitching like a mad man when he met his counterpart though. I think he was resisting the urge to go full on berserker and kill Retort Marluxia...
The Larxene's got along a little too well if you ask me though, as they ripped through the still standing (although burning) half of the Council Building, leaving lightning scorch marks in their wake.
256. I am not allowed to summon anything from the Cthulhu mythos.
The Eldritch Gods were very, very polite when confronted with a being that could and would erase their existence in any and all worlds if they pissed her off.
I had them help me disintegrate the rest of the Council Building once Axel's fire burned down and we rebuilt it.
257. I should not underestimate Infinity's mental defenses again...
Though he is a male, his ability to read and comprehend the Sacred Shipping Chart has the Sisterhood in an uproar!
There is a LOT of kinky shit in that thing, and I'm taking it as solid proof that he was the best agent they could have assigned to my case.
Although, I do wonder how his boss will react when the Chart starts appearing on what's left of his office walls as that invisibility glammer starts to fade...
258. I am not allowed to rig all of the water lines pump apple juice.
I like apple juice.
Honestly! All of those uncultured idiots should be happy that I managed to taint the water supply, But NOOOO!
Apparently there are actually a few council members who are allergic to apples, and doing so counts as an assassination attempt towards them!
They're all pricks after all...
259. I am not allowed to make water balloon that have anything but water in them...
(Smiles sweetly) I MAY have corrupted the Weasely Twins into my own personal minions of chaos, and the first actual members of my personal Chaos Cult.
They are brilliant when it comes to pranking potions, and helped me make these versions so long as I endorsed their products when I was out causing chaos in the widespread universe.
Apparently they're making a big name for themselves in the Union of Trolls as suppliers and enablers.
Anyway, I got a kick out of dropping the balloons on the Council Member's heads and sitting back to watch the panic unfold as the effects kicked in.
260. I am not allowed to have others make the water balloons for me.
Infinity busted me within ten minutes of returning, and told me that, while it was hilarious, I couldn't ask the Weasely's to make the balloons for me anymore. But he never said I couldn't buy them from the Joke Shop or their special edition Troll Catalog...
261. I am not allowed to turn Council HQ into a petting zoo and make Demyx clean the pens.
He was happy to do so, especially after I showed him the pony ride, but apparently it counts as extortion...
262. I am not allowed to advertise the World That Never Was as a tourist hot spot.
Infinity was pissed that I wouldn't cut him a piece of the profits. We haggled for hours about it, before I managed to drag him down to 30%. I left a crate of tourist pamphlets in the Council Hall advertising the World that Never Was as a stress relief world that people could come to, kill things indiscriminately to vent anger and relax by the pool I built in one of the city sections I managed to clear out.
I got full permission from Xemnas to do that by the way.
263. I am not allowed to call myself Foster and open a home for imaginary friends. Infinity will not be dealing with the lawsuit waiting to happen.
I was joking! WHY CAN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND THAT?!
Madam Foster is a sweet woman who takes in all kinds regardless of how they came to her doorstep. I was lucky enough to meet her in her prime, when she and Mr. Herrington were just starting to think about opening the home.
She's always happy when I bring her any others that I find abandoned in other worlds. Heaven knows she has enough room in that big old house of hers, and she loves meeting new imaginary friends, and the ones from other worlds are always more exotic and interesting, and Mr. Herrington loves them because they are generally more polite and get adopted faster.
264. No one is allowed to go streaking.
We traumatized Roxas and Kixur at their induction by telling them it was part of initiation. We did the same thing at HQ, and made it so that anyone who set foot in what was left of that place had the incomprehensible urge to go streaking in the halls. I set up a few cameras at the time and we all laughed at the videos about a week later. Except Infinity... He took off with about half of them with an evil cackle, all the while muttering something about blackmail gold...
265. Veronica is not allowed to experiment with Alchemy.
Alphonse Elric is an absolute sweet heart and an amazing teacher. His brother Edward on the other hand is short tempered whenever anyone questions his height and takes delight in pissing off authority figures. Anastasia Elric, my counterpart there, is famous for the sheer chaos she sows there. That, and the fact that she's one of Truth's favored ones cause she's one of mine!
(sniffs and wipes away a crocodile tear) I am soooo proud of her!
I believe they would be ecstatic to see the transmuted Amestrian Chaos Wheel that used to be the a statue of the founder in the UCM courtyard.
266. Veronica is not allowed to make anyone taste purple.
(Cackles) It's a simple spell to learn, but I prefer making it happen manually. Peruvian Coffee (the good stuff) that's been spiked with Red Bull makes normal people see and taste sound.
When you add a shot of Single Malt Whiskey to the mix too, that is when you start tasting colors.
I spiked every coffee pot I could get my hands on with the stuff.
267. No one bans chocolate.
I found that monstrosity on the Law Tablet that used to sit in the lobby of the building.
NO ONE BANS CHOCOLATE WITHOUT F*^$#* KILLING ME FIRST!
That bane of man kind and blasphemy against human nature has since then been vaporized with extreme prejudice.
And I am not apologizing for it!
268. No one mocks dragons and gets away with it.
I told Samug, Igneel, Saphira, and any other dragon I could think of that the UCM called them fire breathing lizards and said their mother's were wyverns.
They took offence to that.
UCM Headquarters has since then been closed down to rebuild, remodel, and relocate after the world they were stationed on was razed to the ground with Dragon Fire.
269. If you challenge Veronica to do something, she will pull out all the stops.
One of my modos is, "There is no such thing as overkill."
The second one is, "Live life to the fullest, enjoy every damn minute, and when you kick the bucket, leave everyone else screaming in rage because they wanted to be the one to kill you."
I think I mad a collective enemy of the UCM after everything I did. I'm now getting "behave or die" threats in my mail.
My threat level and danger status has also apparently gone from yellow to purple.
They had to make up a new category after I shattered the red bar.
270. Veronica is indeed the Chaos Goddess of Balance and Water. It's best not to question it...
I know what you're thinking.
How can she possibly be a Chaos Goddess of Balance?
The achievement of balance can often times be chaotic in and of itself, and I represent all forms of balance.
Universal Balance is my favorite, as it basically makes me the Goddess of Karma!
And trust me, the UCM deserved everything we did to them.
Water on the other hand... Well, turns out the Chaos Gods of 40K are actually my biological family, and apparently Slaanesh came across an Ocean planet of powerful Water Spirits at one point and got a little, frisky, with the natives. Supposedly, the waves that my birth gave off in the Warp were strong enough to send me to another dimension until I was old enough to control my powers and understand the consequences and responsibilities that came with them.
I'm apparently the most sane of them all, so they heaped the responsibilities of Balance on me.
Family reunions are a riot though!