Ten more comin' your way!
Sorry I didn't upload this sooner, but I've been kinda preoccupied with the planning of a few new fics, and the horrors of moving!
I've also been considering something for awhile. I'm going to start choosing a movie each for each update, and I want you guys to send me in your favorite quote from that movie!
Next Update: Men in Black
As always, I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or any other franchise mentioned!
IN TO THE CHAOS MY FOLLOWERS! WE FIGHT FOR THE BALANCE AND THE OCEANS! (Cackles madly as lightning flashes behind me)
281. (Submitted by NatNicole) I am not allowed to steal the Deathly Hallows, put on glasses and green contacts, draw a lightning bolt scar on my forehead with red marker, and masquerade as a female Harry Potter.
I scared the shit out of Voldemort when I popped up dressed like that and taunted him. The Death Eaters were shooting me these scared looks and probably thought I was completely insane as I goaded him in to shooting the killing curse at me. I didn't even move an inch as it hit me square in the chest and knocked me ass over teakettle onto the ground.
I popped right back up, scared the ever loving crap out of all of them, and proceeded to cuss Voldemort out in seven different languages. Meanwhile, Hagrid and Harry were staring at me like I was completely insane. Then I reached into Voldemort and caused a chain reaction that destroyed every piece of his soul still in existence.
Harry was unconscious for about ten minutes, but by the time he woke up again I had the Death Eaters worshipping me as the Next Dark Lady!
Of course, I handed them over to the Aurors right after that though, and wiped everyone's memories of what actually happened.
Silly Voldemort, you can't kill a concept given physical form!
282. (Submitted by Luna Lillyth) Do not summon the dead. Hades plus stolen dead equals long annoying debates degrading into fistfights over the meaning of Life and Death.
Any version of Hades is a stickler when it comes to summoning the dead. That cheap shake won't even let the souls that perish before their allotted time go! And because the other gods can't trespass in his domain without permission, they usually turn to me for help.
Not that I don't like punching that guy in the face (because come on it's hilarious to see the gob smacked look on his face as I walk away) but he usually ups security every time I manage to get through.
It's a bitch and a half to break into the Underworld undetected, but the looks on the guard's faces when I walk out the front gate are so hilarious it's totally worth it!
283. Don't attempt to trace Veronica's family tree.
My family tree is confusing on a normal day, and a complete bitch to comprehend on a bad day.
So I'll sum it up for you.
I am apparently the daughter of one of the Primarchs, which one though is still up in the air as he may or may not have been turned into a she when my mother/father Slannesh got hold of him. All I know for certain is that the Emperor requested that I call him Grandfather, because I apparently remind him of one of the Lost Two Primarchs. I think it goes back to the whole Water aspect of my chaotic nature. Dad/Mom told me that my other parent was practically blinding with possibilities when Tzeentch saw them through the Warp, and hir mind was ensnared the moment they set eyes on each other.
Apparently it's because of the unique mix of Primarch and Chaos God in my blood that I was crowned the Chaos Goddess of Balance within Chaos, Chaos within Balance, and Water.
284. Veronica is not allowed to troll the Star Wars Universe.
I joined the Jedi Order, and became a Master!
No, that is not nearly as terrifying as the thought of me becoming a chaos be damned Sith.
I de-aged Infinity and myself, dropped us on the temple steps eighteen years before the first movie, then proceeded to screw around with the entire time line.
Infinity had a blast as Mace Windu's Padawan, while I managed to insert myself as Qui-Gon's second Padawan on a technicality. Obi and I were actually pretty good friends by the time we encountered Anakin. Anni was absolutely adorable as a kid! Even more adorable than the movies make him out to be, and he was strong. Ridiculously strong. I could feel his presence in the Force light-years away.
When everything was going down, I made sure that Darth Maul was actually dead (I drove a light saber through his forehead,) kidnapped Qui-Gon, faked his death, and stashed him in the World that Never Was. After that Infinity and I became Jedi Knights alongside Obi, and within a year I was on the council with Master Status. We then corrupted all of the younglings to the Chaos Side. When Order 66 went out, we kidnapped everyone, faked their deaths, and stashed everyone in the World that Never Was.
As soon as I was sure everyone was there, Infinity, Soul, and I tore apart the old laws, showed the Council just how STUPID and DANGEROUS that disregarding and suppressing emotions could be. Then I went back, kidnapped Anakin before he was burned to all hell, kidnapped and healed Padme after she gave birth to the twins, and brought them back as well. Then I pointed out that one of the esteemed masters actually had SEVERAL children to prove my point.
Needless to say, when the rebellion won, I emerged from the shadows with the new and improved Jedi Order as the newly instated Jedi Queen, pulled the alive Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi out of thin air, along with Alderaan and the real and actually fine Anakin and Padme along with Luke and Leia's three younger siblings, then proceeded to reveal to all of them that I was actually an all powerful Chaos Goddess that had been pinking them for years as I presented them with the Emperor's head on a silver platter.
I think I broke them.
285. Stop quoting 'Skulduggery Pleasant'.
"Doors are for people with no imagination."
(Me to Xigbar before diving out the window on the fiftieth floor of the Skyscraper and cackling)
"We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse."
(Me to Infinity and Soul at my last family reunion.)
"I'm too clever to die, and you're too pretty."
(Axel to me when we were fighting off a horde of Heartless that nearly overwhelmed us.)
"It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay."
(*Sarcastically* Love you too Xemnas.)
"I love you all, even those I don't particularly don't like. That's you, Veronica."
(Xemnas as we celebrated his birthday.)
"I cannot cure stupidity."
(Vexen to me as I brought Demyx in after the wall incident. I knew I corrupted him!)
"Sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do, and then sometimes you've just gotta run like hell after it's done."
(Demyx to me after Olympus Coliseum.)
286. Don't randomly start laughing like a maniac.
I did that during a meeting one day.
Within seconds everyone lost their nerve, screamed like schoolgirls, and portaled away.
I happily ate the last of the snacks.
287. I am not allowed to turn the World that Never Was into an indoor trampoline park.
The ceilings are so high we don't have to watch how high we jump! Axel thought it was the best thing ever, and everyone else had a blast until Xemnas tried to use them to get onto his throne while it was still raised.
It didn't end well...
...at least now he knows what it's like when sparrows smack into glass?
Needless to say the rule was posted the next day.
288. Veronica, do not break the Unbreakable Sunset Jitsu. Look how that ended for Ghost Oogakari...
*Only a grin is visible from the full body cast*
I am not sorry for this at all.
289. We are now banned from reenacting musicals...
Oh come on!
Axel and I had a blast reenacting Les Miserables. We started singing One Day More during a meeting, right before the start of Kingdom Hearts 2 began, and everyone joined in.
As we planned, Luxord started singing Jean Valjean's part (His accent was perfect for it,) Axel and I were Marius and Cosette, Xemnas jumped in as Javert (suprising the hell out of all of us,) Demyx, Roxas, Xion, Tranquility, Riku, Namine, and Kairi became the chores, while Larxene sang the part of Eponine.
My counterpart Cormack D. Eris Dawn popped up out of nowhere with Deadpool and began singing the parts of the Innkeeper and his wife.
They were surprisingly good...
Everything was put to a stop when we busted out in 'Do You Hear the People Sing?'
290. (Submitted by NatNicole) Axel is not allowed to challenge Ozai into an Agni Kai for the title of Fire Lord. Especially not since he easily wins despite having lightning shot at him.
Axel spent a month straight training for that fight by having Larxene continually shoot lightning at him for hours at a time. I thought he was completely insane until he clued me in on what he was planning.
On the day that Ozai banished Zuko, Axel brought forth his challenge, and needless to say kicked ass. We managed to keep it quiet, and when Azula brought her brother back to the Fire Nation you should have seen the looks on their faces when Axel and I greeted them in the throne room with trolling grins on our faces, and orders to call of the war.
Azula tried to challenge Axel for the throne again, only I stepped up and accepted her challenge as the new Fire Lady.
I kicked her ass so badly that she snapped, then we tossed her into the asylum, and let her rot. Axel offered to abdicate the throne to Iroh, but the old man declined! Instead the two of us gleefully showed up at the next meeting for the Order of the White Lotus.
Needless to say, the Allies were pretty surprised when Axel and I gleefully greeted them at the gates of the capital on the day of the eclipse and surrendered...