Greetings mortals! I have elected to grace you with another ten rules
I have gone on an Inter-Dimensional Pranking Spree with Axel! I'm starting with the Hellsing Universe! I would not recommend the series itself unless you are at least 18, it's pretty graphic... But I still own nothing but myself!
311. For your own safety, please do not prank any self respecting Vampire with Super Glue Glitter Bombs.
Alucard was PISSED when I did that to him and started trying to kill me!
I had showed him the Twilight Saga about a week before, and it probably didn't help that I started calling him Edward!
Me and Axel had to retreat to the other side of the world to finally loose him.
312. Veronica, Iscariot is still attempting to find a way to kill you. Please stop flirting with Anderson whenever you meet him!
Awwwww, but it's funny to see how red I can make him turn! Alucard forgave me for the glitter prank when I gave him that photo of a tomato red priest with a flirty Chaos Goddess in a revealing purple evening gown hanging off his arm with a red haired man in a suit laughing his ass off in the background.
313. Veronica, stop switching Sir Integra's Cigars with the exploding versions. She's starting to get pissed enough to shoot anything in sight. ~ Walter
(Bursts out laughing as Axel starts cursing up a storm)
Axel: Anyone that walked into the room had to automatically duck or get a bullet lodged in their head for a month!
She actually unloaded an entire ammo clip in Alucard before we switched them back and she realized it was us messing with her!
314. Veronica is not allowed to recruit Schrodinger to her cult.
He's Omnipresent! I couldn't pass that up even if the little shit is a former Nazi!
Turns out he's actually one of the many kittens of Cheshire that went missing when the Red Queen burned most of Wonderland to the ground. He just prefers his neko form to his full cat form and enjoys screwing with people's heads by dying and coming back without a scratch!
315. The same goes for Hans.
He is an honest to Gods Werewolf! In a world where that is supposed to be IMPOSSIBLE! How the hell do you people expect me to not actually at least TRY to recruit those people?!
316. Veronica, pranking the Wild Geese is inadvisable.
They are mercenaries for a reason. While they do have honor, and a fucking terrifying code of conduct, they are not above petty revenge.
I managed to sneak blue and green dye in all the showers, hair care products, and soap in the barracks.
Two days later, next thing I know I'm walking out of the shower completely pink.
Needless to say I learned my lesson...
317. Veronica, the blood in the fridge is for Seras and Alucard. Not for your semi-demonic rituals.
I completely object to even coming up with this one!
Alucard was curious as to why I would collect the fangs of any vampire I came across while with them, and it sort of, spiraled from there...
Next thing I know, I blink and I'm in the middle of a demonic ritual to summon Samhain two months early...
318. Veronica, Alucard, Hellhounds are to be left in their kennels unless summoned for a battle or playtime.
Awww, but Alucard and I wanted to discus a crossbreeding program with my two species and Bakersville! If anything the Percy Jackson Hellhounds will at least be a close match to their DNA. My Loyal Hounds adore him too, and pop up whenever their favorite Vampire is nearby to give them an ear scratch.
319. Veronica, you are not allowed to show any of them the Hellsing Ultimate Abridged series by TeamFourStar. Not only is it giving them spoilers, but it gives Alucard and Father Anderson...ideas.
(Snorts) The beginning of episode 4. The Statue of Jesus in Rio. Alucard actually did it!
The Vatican was absolutely PISSED when they figured out Axel and I gave him the idea!
He also got several new ideas of how to piss off his enemies and Sir Integra in just a few seconds.
Anderson on the other hand handed over the Nail of Helen as soon as he saw the monster he would become if he used it.
On the bright side, Seras finally saw the badass she would become when she started drinking blood, kissed Bernadotte full on the lips, and went to go and drink the entire blood fridge dry.
320. When Veronica starts understanding the Abridged Alucard's sexual preference, it's time to get the hell outta Dodge...
To Quote Abridged Alucard himself from his fight with Miss Rip Van Winkle...
'The funny thing is,' Silver bullet shatters in his mouth before he starts stalking forwards.. 'In any other circumstance, you might have had a point there... Except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the forties, I HATE EVERYONE EQUALLY, and there's no one ALIVE who can comprehend my sexual preference!'
Yeah, that even scared the hell out of me and him when it happened...
Me and Axel hauled out that night as London started burning.