(Cackles insanely.)
Yes my faithful minions! 'Tis I! The Illustrious Freerunner4427!
Yes! You may bask in the glory of my awesomeness!
Where are we spreading our mischief today you ask?
Why, the Doctor Who universe!
Doctor: OH HELL NO!
(Cackles manically) OH HELL YES!
351. Under no circumstances are the words 'Oooh what does this button do?' to be uttered within hearing range of the Doctor ever again.
(Snickers uncontrollably as the Doctor groans.)
I pressed the red button that made it snow.
Doctor11th: You are soooo lucky that you didn't hit the reactor button instead!
Well if you labeled the damn buttons maybe I wouldn't get curious about what they did!
Doctor 11th: (Nearly growls) You are a child in the body of an adult!
So are you! At least I admit and embrace it! Unlike you!
Doctor 11th: (Sputters in denial.)
352. Jack Harkness and Axel are never allowed to be alone together ever again.
I left them alone for an hour.
AN HOUR!
They teamed up and tried to talk me into a threesome!
Of course I agreed. I am not the only surviving child of the Prince of Lust and a Primarch of Humanity for nothing! I have a reputation to uphold!
I just prefer Mogonomy with a little fun on the side from time to time.
Jack still calls from time to time, he's GREAT in the sack for a 51st century guy.
353. The same goes for Veronica and Rose Tyler.
That absolute bitch had the gall and fucking nerve to insinuate that I was in love with the Doctor and was trying to steal him away!
I mean sure he's a great guy but the regeneration and random personality switches are kind of a turn off.
Plus, I have Axel, and due to a load of utter bullshit I am not allowed to tell you about lest I cause you're mind to explode, he is now as immortal as I am.
If I ever manage to get that bitch alone for a single second, the only thing you'll find of her will be the blood splatters on the walls, ceiling, and floor.
354. Axel is not allowed to be alone with Rose Tyler either.
Axel: (Glares) I understand why Veronica calls her a bitch now. That blond idiot had the gall to accuse my girlfriend of stealing her man, and then she turns around and starts flirting with me!
Me: (Slowly turns towards the blond bitch, my face turning into a carefully schooled blank mask as she backs away nervously and takes off running.) Forget blood splatters. (purple eldritch fire fills one hand) There's not even going to be ashes of her left!
355. Veronica, looking into the heart of the TARDIS is not recommended.
Maybe not for you mortals, but I'm immortal, a lot like her in that respect.
Axel's mind is still somewhat mortal and is gradually adapting to immortality so he doesn't go completely insane. He still won't be able to handle it for at least a couple more centuries.
Me on the other hand...
...Well, the old girl and I like to chat face to face from time to time, and I'm the only one that can actually do that without my brain turning to mush.
356. Veronica, don't insult other species, even if they insult you first. We do NOT need ANOTHER intergalactic incident on your record.
(bursts out laughing) I insulted the Dalek Emperor by saying that it's mother was a pepper shaker and it's father was a snail after it called me the daughter of a primitive species.
He took offence to that and tried to kill me.
I died from his death beam, came back, and slapped him across the face for his insolence before dropping him in an eldritch volcano.
The Doctor was simultaneously thankful and horrified that I had eliminated the source of his species greatest enemy.
357. Veronica is not allowed to hack any technology ever again.
My chaotic aura has an interesting entropy effect on technology that is anything less than Time Lord Sophisticated in that universe.
It makes it frighteningly easy to hack into any piece of technology, no matter what era it originates from, that I come across.
Time Lord tec is some of the only tec that actually seems made to resist my chaotic power. I think I somehow went back to the height of innovation on Gallifrey and subtlety pointed them in that direction at some point.
Mass time travel like that is well beyond my reach however, and I can only go back a century at the most for now. Even now, the time stream is not easy for me to manipulate in practice, and even then the Doctor and the TARDIS watch me closely whenever I attempt it, just in case something goes wrong.
358. Veronica is not allowed to taunt any of the Cybermen.
They piss me off.
No they ROYALLY piss me off.
They piss me off almost as much as the Terminators, the Reapers from Mass Effect, the Necromongers from the Pitch Black Chronicles back when I was running with Riddick, and the World Nobles from One Piece. Combined.
I came face to face with one of those abominations of nature before, and I have never been more repulsed in my life.
Not even when I met the more devoted of Uncle Nergal's acolytes.
I obliterated every one of those things I set my eyes on and then went on to hunt them to extinction in the ends of the universe.
359. Veronica, you are not allowed to tamper with The Moment.
Time Lord Tec, gotta love it.
It took me six years in a pocket dimension outside of time to crack it's codes, but it was totally worth it!
I used it to toss all of the Time Lords into another Pocket Dimension that was just large enough to contain the entire planet.
They are going to be stuck there until they get their heads out of their collective asses and stop trying to ascend to god level at the cost of the rest of the universe.
They've already figured out that I was completely serious when I told them I was a goddess and that I would show them what happened when I was completely pissed if they tried to pull that shit again.
360. Veronica, you are not allowed to drive the TARDIS. Even if she lets you and actually prefers you to drive instead of the Doctor.
I don't pull all of the unnecessary idiotic stuff that he does on a regular basis, like leaving the breaks on when I'm driving.
She prefers that I drive whenever I show up mostly because of his tendency to go to the center of any trouble.