IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!
YUP! I'M OFFICALLY 20 YEARS OLD!
ONE MORE YEAR 'TILL I CAN LEAGALLY DRINK!
I AM COUNTING DOWN THE HOURS!
WHAT WILL I DO THIS YEAR?
HOW WILL I TOP LAST YEAR'S PARTY?
WHY AM I STILL YELLING?
WHY AM I ASKING YOU ALL THESE QUESTIONS?!
No really, why AM I asking you these questions?
Eh, I'll figure that out later. For now though, I don't own anything except for Veronica, seeing as she is me.
I grinned up at the list as I woke up that morning. It was that time of year again.
401. Veronica, your 24 hours have begun. Enjoy. ~Xemnas
Oh yes, I was definitely going to enjoy this!
402. Nuclear Paint Bombs were banned after your last birthday party Veronica!
Uh no, no they weren't.
They only said I couldn't paint the entire world purple last time!
I went with black and silver this time and got an even coating all over the world!
403. Lea, you are not allowed to kidnap Remus Lupin and Muzaka (from Noblesse) so Veronica can finally have a werewolf in her cult. Even if it is her birthday.
OKAY! THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING BULLSHIT ON TH-
(Xemnas pulls me aside and whispers to me for a moment.)
Wait, what?
(He whispers again)
Seriously?
(He nods)
...Okay, I did not see that coming.
I have just been informed that while Siax isn't a werewolf, he was an Ookami Yokai/Hanyou in life. They don't wanna bring any other canine typed being into his territory because the last time someone did that he completely ripped the poor idiot apart.
He sees them as a threat to the social order and command chain of his pack. The Alpha who would be Xemnas, the Luna, that's Me, he himself claimed the position of Beta, and everyone else.
Yup, no more werewolves for me, not gonna risk the berserker moonlight addled wrath.
Which completely sucks as it means I won't be able to bring the Marauders to my birthday party without risking a bloodbath.
404. The Varia are not to be hired to work security.
Fuck that, I invited them as guests!
They don't need to work security to dissuade anyone from crashing the party. Their reputation, and the fact that they were actually invited to the most exclusive and wild party in the multiverse has warded off everyone that even considered crashing!
Their reputation rings throughout the multiverse, and the fact that all of them are staunch worshippers of me is something that the wider multiverse balks at when they find out.
405. Veronica when arranging for your favorite bands to play at your birthday, always have the wavers ready to sign and give them fair warning about just what they're getting into.
I negotiated for Avenged Sevenfold, Five Finger Death Punch, Disturbed, Carrie Underwood, Shinedown, Dorothy, Luke Bryan, Shawn Mendes, Eric Church, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, Panic! at the Disco, Breaking Benjamin, Lady Antebellum, and Seether.
I made sure that they knew they were playing for a diverse crowd of odd, yet powerful, individuals and that they would be protected by an anti-chaos barrier at all times if they wanted to join in on the festivities afterwards.
Needless to say, a lot of them will probably be waking up tomorrow with massive headaches and confusing memories that they might just dismiss as a wacky dream until they see the photos.
406. Veronica, raiding Irken battleships for their snacks is both forbidden and considered an intergalactic suicide mission for a reason.
I came back with the best snacks in the universe for my party, and the absolute respect and fear of the entire Irken Empire. I am now the Almighty Tallest Empress Ver in their eyes.
They dare not cross me in fear of gaining my Irk.
407. Trapping annoying people in the elevator, the door, or the switch gags, while hilarious and entertaining, is not permitted, even if it is your birthday and you don't want them to spoil the festivities.
Are you kidding me? That was the main entertainment of the night!
We tossed a couple dozen of the most annoying villains of all time into pocket dimensions, hit the randomizer, and sat back with an industrial sized truck of popcorn, and laughed our asses off at their confusion.
Hell, we even threw Xehanort in the door gag for shits and giggles!
I think he was actually crying when he hit the Chocobo Room. He started screaming something about flashbacks, but we were laughing too hard to really pay attention.
408. All mechas of any kind are to be left at the door, and their keys/power orbs/control devices are to be checked with our team of Parking Valet Dusks. These keys will only be released back to the owners that are participating in the Races and the Battle Royals. Cybertronians are asked to use holoforms.
We had problems with that last time, as the various drivers/pilots liked to let them walk around the world. Yes they were careful not to let them step on anyone, but still, it caused a lot of panic.
At least they apologized afterwards.
409. Dragonball Style fights are to remain within the designated arenas. Yes we now it's your birthday, no that doesn't mean you can ignore that rule Veronica!
(Laughs sheepishly as I stand in front of the wide blast range. Several other versions of myself look at me from the resulting hole with raised and accusing eyebrows)
Note to self, the Kamehameha is much more powerful when it is used by inheritably chaotic beings. Powerful enough to rip through the barrier between dimensions.
410. For the love of the gods, PLEASE stop quoting Gurren Lagann!
You dumbass! Kick logic out and do the impossible!
(Me to Sora as he was gathering up the courage to ask Kairi out near the beginning of the party)
Youth of this town! AIM FOR THE SURFACE!
(Me and Axel right as the Loyal Hound stampede of 2017 began)
FLY PIGGY! *Cackles maniacally*
(Axel as I shot him out of a giant slingshot while he was tied to a wild boar, we were drunk off our asses at that point)
A real man never dies, even when he's killed!
(Lexaeus to Roxas after I convinced him to start training the younger members in the fine art of Paintball during the party)
Drunk off his rocker Axel as he was thinking about me: Think of someone hard enough, and you'll be sent straight into their arms! Just thinking of them gives you wings!
Larxene, just as sloshed as he was, as she was thoroughly freaked out at this point: *Backs up, pulls out knife* Think of me and you DIE!
I'VE GOT THE BEST WIFE IN THE UNIVERSE SWING!
(Axel after I gave him the new and improved plasma guns.)
Siax: Ug, you and your creepy toys.
Me: (Hold up an Evil Edition Furbie) Honey, you couldn't handle my creepy toys.
I saw...down to their shoulders!
(Roxas as he and Axel were trying to peek on me and Namine in the hot spring.)
WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!
(Me to Xemnas at the end of KH2 when he was trying to sway me to his side after Axel died at his hands.)
When you screw it in, give it a hard manly twist.
(I have never seen Zexion and Demyx that red before. Vexen is awesome, and a master of instant blackmail! I was dying of laughter for hours after that.)
Axel: We brawlers are sustained by willpower, even when mocked as reckless and crazy!
Me: If there's a wall in our way, then we smash it down! If there isn't a path then we create one ourselves!
Both of us: The magma of our souls burns with a mighty flame! Super Ultra Combining Gurren Lagann!
Axel: Just who...
Me: In the hell...
Both of us: DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!
(Me and Axel as we started gearing up to fight all of the Power Ranger Megazords in a One verses All match at my birthday.)
411. Time Turners are glorious things, but they are now banned. Yes Veronica, I know you were using one to go back and relive the last 24 hours over and over again.
Time Turners are indeed glorious pieces of magic.
I had sixteen consecutive repeated days of enjoyment with the one Vega Black gave me before I was busted by Xemnas.
412. Roller skate roller coasters are now banned.
(Cackles as I blast down the tracks as everyone else cheers and groans)
SO WORTH THE WHIPLASH!
413. Yak bull riding is not a thing! It will never be a thing and you are not allowed to make it a thing Veronica!
Then what the hell am I going to do with the twenty yaks I had imported?! Eat them?!
413. Veronica, turning the Entrance Hall into a replica of Mt. Everest, just to have the most epic snowboard run in your life, is not allowed. Even if it is your birthday.
(Smiles in a full snowsuit with a purple snowboard strapped to my feet, before I go over the edge and my voice echoes back.)
I REGRET NOTHING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
414. Nor are you allowed to turn it into Lake Mead so you can go cliff jumping.
(I stand on the highest cliff, scrutinizing the water below with a careful eye as I ignore the wolf whistles about my black bikini.
With a scream of joy I fling myself off the rock and whoop as I fall.)
I REGRET NOTHING!
(I smack into the water with a huge splash, and resurface to cheering.)
415. (Submitted by Luna Lillyth) Never challenge Veronica to a drinking contest (you will probably die from it.) Especially on her birthday.
I drink liquefied and finely aged Black Holes. Screw probably, you WILL die from drinking my drinks.
When I wanna get totally sloshed on the good stuff though, I break out the Eldritch Alcohol. No mere mortal is able to handle a single shot of that and not wake up with the mother of all hangovers the next day.
Believe me, many have tried.
I broke out the good stuff for my birthday and the party turned into a mosh pit!
416. Black Hole Bunge Jumping is restricted to proven immortals.
Yeah, we have set activities for only those who are actually immortal and can control their powers to a reliable point.
(Smiles as I stand at the edge of the contained black hole before jumping in, and being jerked back by the immortal-elastic cord around my ankles.)
I REGRET NOTHING!
417. The Ferret Stampede of 2017 is never to be mentioned again.
Long story involving a genius black footed ferret, an unguarded cloning machine, multiple fezs, and the Doctor.
Need I say more?
418. Lucifer, was it nessicary to animate the food? Veronica is on the verge of a rampage because her meat keeps running and screaming away from her.
Wait a minute?
LUCIFER WAS THE ASS WHO BROUGHT THE FOOD TO LIFE?!
(Purple eldritch fire lights up in one hand, and everyone immediately takes ten steps away from me as I turn to the fallen archangel, who immediately takes off running as fast as he can.)
GET BACK HERE YOU MOTHER#*%&*$^ COWARD! YOUR ASS IS GRASS!
419. Fireworks are not to be made with Dynamite, Nitro Glycerin, C4, or any other highly explosive substances except what is in the standard Firework.
But the pretty colors lit up the sky so beautifully!
It would be a shame to ban such creativity! (Deidaria nods in complete agreement beside me as Axel giggles like a pyro maniac behind us.)
420. Veronica, We know you enjoy having large parties and the fact that you know enough people to fill an entire world to capacity with the partygoers is impressive, please, for the love of the gods, GET THE DAMN CHAOS GODS TO CLEAN UP THE MESS THEY MADE!
(Stands in the middle of a complete and utter disaster that spans as far as the eye can see, and snaps my fingers. The mess disappears.)
Like I would even need to get them to take care of it.