A/N: Late chapter is late! The last scene took a weird turn the first time I wrote it and it just didn't feel right, so I had to re-write it. I took a few days off to focus on some other things so that when I came back to it, it would feel less weird. I think it worked out okay, hope you guys enjoy it.

ArouraBorialice, Things are looking up for Sandy, aren't they? ForeverACharmedOne, ha, yes, screw gender roles, Tooth is a groomsman. I'm looking forward to it. Glad you enjoyed the chapter, even all the sad stuff. dinohuntsmen, thanks for your review! Wowom, yeah, Jamie's having a hard time with this. gossamermouse101, Sandy's pretty excellent, ha. And yeah, I'm not being too nice to Jamie this time around. AkariWolfPrincess, Yeah I think Jack and Jamie could really use each others company! And yeah, I like to think that there was at least a possibility that Jack and Rowan could have had kids when she was alive, but I do feel like it would be a super complicated situation. I never really thought out all the logistics since I knew she was going to die.

"Are you doing any better today?"

"Well, I mean, there's coffee now, so today can't be that bad."

Chapter Twelve: Listen To Me

"Calliope! What are you doing here? I thought you'd be at Arachne's," Erato said, stepping aside so that the other Muse could step inside her room. After months of living out of suitcases, Erato had finally put all her things away and made herself at home at the pole.

She had switched out the sheets that had originally been on the bed with red silk. Various candles were situated around the room, mostly untouched due to the fact that the sun was out constantly this time of year. The thick curtains were open, letting said sunlight in.

An incense burner sat on the mantle, burning silently and giving the room a pleasant smell.

Calliope sat on the foot of the bed. "I've already been there and back."

"Oh! What sort of dresses are you going to make us wear, then? I've got to see her in an hour or so, I don't think my measurements have changed, but I've also had so many cookies since I've been here, so, she'd better take new ones anyway," Erato said, taking a seat beside Calliope.

"Nothing specific. You'll all wear gold. Arachne will make you all dresses to fit your own style, they'll all just be gold," Calliope explained, looking out the window at the sunlight reflecting off all the snow.

"Good, that will be lovely," Erato said, glancing between the window and Calliope. "Something on your mind, Sister?"

"Well, we're… we're sending out invitations soon is all," Calliope said.

"I see. Mind full of fonts and paper types and all that? Baskerville is nice, easy to read. As long as you don't do something like, comic sans or papyrus or something. It should be fine," Erato said thoughtfully.

"Oh, no, that's all taken care of, it's the guest list," said Calliope.

"Worried you're going to forget someone? I bet you could get North's guest list from the ball to reference," Erato said.

"It's not that, it's just… you know, we agreed not to invite Artemis or Apollo," said Calliope, still looking out the window rather than face the younger Muse.

"Are you having second thoughts?"

"Well, I mean, everyone's right. If we did invite them, they would cause a scene," Calliope said. "But I mean… I feel bad about it."

"Don't. They've been terrible lately, this is nothing compared to what they've done," Erato pointed out. Calliope knew she was referring to Apollo's treatment of Cupid in particular.

"I know, I know, it's just—oh, never mind. It's so stupid," Calliope said, shaking her head.

"What is it?" Erato asked.

"It's stupid," Calliope said.

"Is it bothering you?"

"Yes, but it's stupid."

"But it's bothering you, so what is it?"

Calliope sighed. "I guess—I mean, I guess I always figured if I ever did get married, that Apollo would give me away."

"Oh," Erato said, furrowing her brow. She set a gentle hand to Calliope's arm. "You're not his to give away, Calli."

"I know that. But, it's hard to just ignore the fact that he is responsible for all of us being here, for the sisterhood we have, for the powers we have," Calliope said. "He's the closest thing I've ever had to a father. I guess I just like the idea of the tradition of it all, of having him there for this and being part of it."

"We didn't ask for any of this. It's not as though he held our hands and walked us through the process. He granted us powers, brought us back from the dead, and let us figure things out from there. Do we owe him for giving us life?" Erato asked. "I am not a mother because I gave birth. I am a mother because of the time and love and support that I gave my child."

"I know, I know, and I'll be the first to say that he hasn't been there enough, you know that," Calliope said, thinking back to the New Year's Eve Ball when she had argued with the man over that specifically. He had found her drunk accusations to be little more than an annoyance. "But it isn't as though he's never done anything for us."

"You're afraid of making him angry, aren't you?"

"Aren't you?"

"Of course, but I mean, Calliope, maybe this conflict with Artemis is the best thing that could have happened. We can't keep living our immortal lives making sure that Apollo's going to approve for fear of what will happen if he doesn't," Erato said. "I do think he loves us, I do think he regards us as his daughters, but love isn't enough. You can't treat your family this way, you can't do the sort of things he did to Cupid."

Calliope sighed. "I know, I know, you're right, you're absolutely right. It's just… it's hard, because I do think of him as family and I just wish he this could be something that wasn't going to cause such problems."

"You listen to me, Calliope," Erato said, drawing the other Muses's attention from the window at last. "You have done countless amazing things without Apollo's help. Think of all the beautiful prose you've inspired, think of all the great minds you've had a chance to help shape. You are more than capable of getting married without an angry sun god giving you his blessing."

Calliope nodded slowly, frowning.

"Hey," Erato said, smiling. "At the end of the day, you know what? There's really only one person that you need to be at this wedding."

"Sanderson," Calliope said, unable to help but smile as well.

"Exactly. Forget Apollo, the whole reason he and Artemis aren't invited is because this should be about you and Sanderson and how much you love each other. Yes, this came about for political reasons, but that's not the point. The point is that this is a celebration of your union and your love. So, the next time you feel bad about anyone who isn't going to be there, just remember that Sanderson will be," Erato said.

Calliope nodded again. "Thank you, Era."

Erato pulled Calliope into a warm hug. "Hey, if anyone can remind you that a wedding should be about love, it's me, right?"

Cupid stood rigid, arms crossed before him. Artemis seemed unbothered as she walked down a row of hunting dogs of different breeds, all seated with perfect posture and waiting patiently as she set a slab of meat in front of each of them.

"Good dogs, good dogs, you can eat," Artemis said once she set the last dog's dinner in front of her. The dogs cheerfully began to devour their meals as Artemis began to wipe her hands off on a cloth, walking back to Cupid.

"I know you're supposed to be lying low, but I'm concerned that Calliope hasn't reached out to me since we had our meeting. What's taking so long?" Artemis asked.

"I told you, I can't give you information anymore," Cupid said, frustration not showing on his face quite as well as it might if his lip wasn't split and his eye wasn't swollen shut.

"Yes, yes, I know you told them that, you don't have to put on the act here," Artemis said, waving his comment away. She turned back to her dogs when she heard two fighting over food and simply snapped her fingers. They immediately stopped, tails falling between their legs before returning to their own food.

"You need to listen to me, Artemis," Cupid said. "It. Is. Not. An. Act!"

"What do you mean it's not an act? You've been loyal to me this entire time!" Artemis said, eyes wide.

"Look, I'm still rooting for you over Apollo but I can't be feeding you information anymore. They're giving me a second chance and I can't mess that up so that you can stay ahead of the game. They're my family!" said Cupid.

"Am I not your family? Was I not there when you were born? Did I not help craft your bow? Did I not tell you to come clean to them in the first place?" Artemis practically snarled.

Her voice gave away something subtle resembling hurt, however.

"Like I said, I'm still rooting for you. You've done a lot for me, and I appreciate it. But when it comes down to it, they are the ones that are always there. Whether they're getting something out of it or not," Cupid said.

"I didn't expect you to abandon our arrangement all together, Eros," Artemis said. A Labrador, having finished her meal, wandered over to Artemis and nudged the goddess' hand with her nose, looking for more.

"I'm sorry," Cupid said with a shrug, knowing there was no way to make this better without ruining the second chance he'd been given. "I'll tell you one more thing, though, since you're going to find out pretty soon anyway. The Muses aren't cutting ties with the Guardians."

"I should be able to convince them," Artemis scoffed.

"Don't count on it," Cupid said. "The Muses aren't cutting ties with the Guardians. In fact, they're going to make sure that will never happen."

"How?" Artemis asked, cocking a brow.

"You'll find out soon enough. But not from me. Anyway, I'm late for a fitting," Cupid said, pulling a snow globe from his pocket.

Jack turned the red composition book in his hands, never opening it or glancing at the pages inside. He hadn't read a thing since the notebook fell into his possession back in January.

Rowan had stated that the notebook was his if anything happened to her. That was clear indication that he was allowed to thumb through it as he pleased, to read its contents, guilt-free, as he had before they had formally met.

But he couldn't bring himself to do so, not after promising her that he wouldn't anymore when she was alive.

Was he curious about what she had written? Certainly.

She had said that much of what was in the notebook was about him, after all.

He wanted to read her thoughts, to see the words that she had left behind. Maybe she would have written something that would help him decide what to do about Apollo.

But freely, leisurely, reading her notebook now would only highlight the fact that Rowan was not around to give him permission to do so anymore.

He missed watching her scribble in these pages. He missed the way she got annoyed if he hovered too much while she was working.

He missed the way she lit up when she got an idea, the desperate way she wrote it down as though her pen could not keep up with her mind.

"Damn it, Sawyer," Jack mumbled, shoving the notebook under his pillow, where he usually kept it. He leaned back against it, trying to will himself to think about anything but Rowan.

But everything reminded him of her.

The fact that now there was an upcoming wedding was not helping matters.

Maybe he should try to sleep, even for a little while. Maybe by the time he woke up, he wouldn't be thinking about the stupid notebook anymore.

He closed his eyes and tried to force his breathing steady, hoping that sleep would come soon and hopefully not bring any Rowan-filled dreams with it. His mind wouldn't slow, however.

Jack tried counting, hoping that focusing on numbers might help his brain turn off. He had counted to almost one thousand before he began mentally calculating how many days were left until the anniversary of her death again.

Swearing, Jack rolled over in his bed, staring at the wall and willing himself to become very interested in the grain in the wood.

There were three swift knocks at the door.

Jack groaned softly, glancing back at the door. If there was anything he missed from his days before becoming a Guardian, it was that he rarely got unannounced (or any) visitors back then.

Maybe if he didn't move or make a sound, whoever it was would go away.

He didn't want to talk about Apollo or Artemis or wedding plans or anything else right now.

The knocks came again.

"Jack!" came the visitor's voice. "C'mon! I came all the way down here to see you. You seemed sad at the last meeting, are you okay?"

Was that Euterpe?

Was she going to be the designated "make sure Jack's not having an emotional breakdown" person from now on? Maybe he should have seen this coming after talking to her so much on Independence Day.

Give the Muses an inch and they'll surely take a mile.

"I'm good," Jack lied. "Thanks for stopping by."

"I brought coffee."

Jack hesitated, watching the door again.

Coffee wasn't something he expected to miss once he didn't spend every morning with Rowan. But he did.

He missed the smell, the sound the coffee maker made, the taste. He missed seeing the smile in Rowan's eyes as she drank from her mug. He missed the ritual of it all.

But surely after more than three centuries of living, the notoriously stubborn Jack Frost of all people could resist a simple bribe, right? It wasn't even a particularly good bribe. It was just coffee.

Bitter coffee, probably. And it would get cold the second he touched it.

But, damn it, he liked it that way.

Jack approached the door, pulling it open cautiously, as though the promise of coffee might be a trick. The short Muse stood on the other side, a cup of coffee in each hand, one with lipstick on the lid.

Euterpe smiled, handing him the lipstick-free cup.

Well, the Guardians had never used caffeine to get him to talk before.

"Thank you… How did you get coffee?" Jack asked. The cardboard ring around the cup had a logo on it, proclaiming that it was from some coffee shop nearby. That meant that it had cost money.

He didn't imagine that being a Muse paid well.

"You know how when certain people worship, they leave tribute? That's where we get funds. Clio's seen enough economic crises to have invested smartly and have money stashed all over the place that we can dip into if need be. I am not the only one that abuses the privilege for coffee," Euterpe said with a shrug. "Anyway, it's just black. I didn't know how you liked it, or if you drank coffee at all in the first place."

Jack set the cup to his mouth, feeling a nostalgic comfort at the taste and the smell. "Black is fine. Thank you, again."

"No problem. A warm drink usually makes me feel better," Euterpe said. "Are you doing any better today?"

"Well, I mean, there's coffee now, so today can't be that bad," Jack said.

"You still seem sort of bummed out, do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"No," he said simply.

What was there to talk about? Sandy and Calliope were getting married. He and Rowan were not. Not that they had ever planned on doing so anyway.

Then there was Apollo's offer, which he probably should not talk to Euterpe about. The right thing to do was to just… not do anything about it, right? He didn't have enough information to be influencing anything.

But Euterpe, being a Muse herself, would certainly have more information, wouldn't she?

Knowing more about what happened when one became a Muse might help him know for sure that he was doing the right thing.

Right?

Euterpe nodded, lightly kicking a pile of snow nearby. There was always snow around his cabin, regardless of the time of year. "That's cool, sometimes it's not the right time or the right person to talk."

"There's not much to say," he shrugged.

"Have you left your house today?" she asked.

"Nope," he said, taking another drink of the coffee.

"Well. Maybe you should take a walk. I hear that helps," she said. "I mean, not now or anything. Whenever."

"I guess I could walk," he said, grabbing his staff and stepping outside, closing the door behind him.

How did he bring this up without being obvious that he was fishing for information?

"All right," she said with a nod. "Do, uh, do you want me to leave or walk with you, or…?"

"You can come," he said, though he appreciated that she had offered to leave instead of inserting herself into his day like some sort of strange babysitter. "Maybe we'll, uh, we'll go to the cemetery."

"All right," Euterpe said. They headed down the nearby trail, out of the snow and back into the warm, summer weather. "How's your work going?"

"I'm trying to tone it down a little. I was, uh, too intense when I wasn't sleeping and none of the kids were able to play because the storms were too rough," Jack winced. "Last thing I need is to lose more believers, I already don't have as many as the others."

"I always thought that was sort of messed up that your powers rely on how many kids believe in you once you become a Guardian," Euterpe said.

"I'm just happy that I have believers in general, honestly. What about your powers? How does that work with the mortals?" Jack asked. The Muses had mentioned their powers being reliant on the mortals in the past, but hadn't elaborated much.

"To stay strong, people have to create based on the inspiration we give them. Like, say I inspire someone to write a song. It doesn't benefit me at all if they don't write it. If they do write it, then I'm good," Euterpe explained. "If we go too long without people creating based on the inspiration we give them, we start to get weak and feel ill. I assume we would eventually die, but I don't think anyone's gotten worse than feeling lethargic and having a bad headache. And that's usually when you're first starting out because you're still getting the hang of it."

Euterpe tended to come across as quiet, but Jack was quickly learning that if you got her talking about something she was interested in or knowledgeable about, she would just keep going.

Maybe finding out more about the Muses wouldn't be so hard.

Ducking beneath a low branch and hoping his curiosity came across as genuine, innocent, he asked, "Is it hard to figure out how your powers work? It took me a while to get the hang of flying and everything."

He just wanted to know what Rowan might be in for if she came back. If it was something dire, surely that would just be more of a reason not to take Apollo up on his offer, right?

"Well, we all inspire people the same way, so usually the other Muses are pretty helpful when it comes to figuring that out," Euterpe said, trying to hide her frown by taking another drink of her coffee.

"Not in your case?" Jack asked, already knowing the answer.

Okay, okay, so Jack was already keeping the whole Apollo bribed me with my dead girlfriend to try and convince you guys to stay with him thing to himself, and that might be shitty as it was.

But did Euterpe really need to know that when Thalia had been drunk she had told both him and Rowan all about the harsh treatment Melpomene had put Euterpe through?

"I mentioned before that I didn't have an easy time. Melpomene was originally supposed to be the Muse of Song, not Tragedy. So, when I became the Muse of Song instead, she was… really mean to me, to put it lightly. No one wanted to fight with her so they kind of avoided both of us. They gave me the bare minimum as far as what to do with my powers went and I had to figure a lot out by myself," Euterpe said, kicking a pinecone down the path. "Don't get me wrong, they came around eventually and we're fine now. But it really hurt at the time."

"It can get pretty lonely when you live forever and there's no one else around," Jack said, knowing the feeling all too well.

What would the other Muses do if Rowan made the transition? Euterpe had already said she would make an effort to treat her better, but what about the others? Rowan hadn't exactly gotten along with most of them while she was alive.

But she wouldn't be totally alone; he knew that for sure. She would at least have him.

"Yeah, and I mean, any of our powers outside inspiring people and becoming visible or invisible to mortals, we're kind of on our own for anyway. Like Thalia and Melpomene had to figure out what their masks could do on their own because none of the other Muses could do anything like that," Euterpe said.

"Where did they even get the masks?" Jack asked.

"Apollo and Artemis made them, like Cupid's bow. They can do such amazing things when they actually can bother to stand each other," Euterpe said, shaking her head.

"Hm," Jack said. It sure would make life a little easier if Apollo and Artemis would get along and work together rather than try to force everyone to pick one or the other.

But nothing could be easy, could it?

They approached the pinecone that Euterpe had kicked earlier and she kicked it again.

"Can I ask about the transition?" Jack asked hesitantly.

"Sure, what about it?"

"You've spoken about your past life and everything, do you all remember it when you come back, or did Tooth have to help you out with it? I didn't remember anything from my past life until I got those memories from Tooth."

"We remember our previous life, yes. When you come back, it's weird, because it doesn't feel like any time has passed for you. It's how you died that can get fuzzy, though. Thalia remembered hers without any help. Melpomene says she doesn't remember her death and doesn't want Tooth to help her remember," Euterpe said. "I blocked my death out. The smart thing would have been to leave it alone like Mel did."

They had begun circling the lake now, Jack watching the water with a frown.

"You didn't?" he asked. Euterpe was one of the Muses whose death he didn't know about.

Calliope had committed suicide, Erato had been murdered, Melpomene had drowned, and Thalia had been murdered.

The rest were a mystery to him.

"I mean, I went a little while not knowing. I'd have weird nightmares. I got to the point where I was tired of not knowing how I got this way. From what I remembered, I was healthy. I was happy. I was just starting to get somewhere as a singer. So why did I die all of a sudden? So, I went to Tooth and asked if she could help me remember, because I thought it would help. She tried telling me that sometimes we don't remember things for a reason, that sometimes we block out things that are too traumatic for us to handle. But I was so sure that remembering would help me," Euterpe said, kicking the pinecone again.

It hit the water, sending ripples across the surface.

"I'm guessing it didn't," Jack said, taking another drink of his coffee.

"No, I regret remembering every day," she said, staring at the ground as they walked.

Euterpe seemed tense, uncomfortable. There was a sadness behind her eyes that he had never seen there before (not that he had spent a great deal of time with her for reference).

They passed a small collection of flowers and unlit candles that had been placed for Rowan.

The lake had become a less popular place to leave things for her since she had a proper grave now, but every now and again her story would be in the news again and another few things would show up.

"Hey, I'm sorry for bringing it up," he said, though he couldn't help but be curious about what had happened that Euterpe was better off not remembering.

Talking about one's own death was not always easy. He wondered if Thalia had relayed her story with more ease due to the alcohol.

He considered how traumatized Rowan had been about a near death experience, how much worse it might be to return to life with the memories of an actual death.

"No, no, don't be," Euterpe said. "I—I don't like carrying it around like a big secret, like something I should be ashamed of, you know? I'm getting better at talking about it. Really, I am."

"You don't have to," Jack said.

"Thanks. Maybe some day," Euterpe said, still staring at the ground.

They fell into silence for a moment, guilt settling in Jack's stomach for making her so uncomfortable for the sake of gathering information.

"I'll tell you mine," he offered, hoping it might make her feel better.

"Only if you want to," she said.

"I drowned in this lake," Jack said, gesturing to the water.

"Are you messing with me right now?" she asked, stopping in her tracks for a moment, glancing between him and the lake.

"My little sister and I were ice skating," he said. "She was on some thin ice, so I calmed her down and managed to get her to a safer part of the lake. Unfortunately, in the process, I managed to get myself on the thin ice. I fell through. Hypothermia, which lead to drowning."

Euterpe watched him, mouth agape. "You… and then Rowan? In the same way, in the same place? Dios mío, Jack, I hope you know that means that the universe is like, actively against you or something. That's some… cruel irony or something."

"Yep," Jack said as he took another sip of his coffee, having thought all of these things before.

Euterpe shook her head slightly. "So you were reborn as a Guardian right here, that's why all the Lunar magic's here?"

Jack nodded. "Why, aren't the Muses reborn where they died?"

"No. Well, I mean, I guess Calliope was, technically. We're all reborn on Mount Parnassus, in Greece. That's why, even though Calliope's the only one that lived in Greece during her past life, we're all the Greek Muses," Euterpe said.

"I wondered about that," Jack said. They started walking away from the lake, down toward the street that led to the cemetery.

"Yeah, there's a big burst of light and all of a sudden you're naked on this mountain and the other Muses are there watching. It's really awkward," Euterpe said. "You're all confused and disoriented, you don't understand that a year's gone by, and your body is new and immortal so it doesn't feel right. It's not a fun time."

"But it gets better, right?"

"Eventually. I like to think everything gets better eventually. One day at a time, right?" Euterpe said. "Been thinking a lot about Rowan maybe coming back in a few months?"

"Yeah," Jack said. "Can't help it."

"Wish I could offer to ask Apollo for you, but he probably wouldn't tell me even if there weren't drama with Artemis going on," Euterpe said.

"Right," Jack said with a nod. "Do, uh, do you think that all of that will affect him bringing her back or not?"

"I think if he plans to bring her back, he's already started working on it. It's complicated magic, it's why it takes a year," Euterpe said. "I mean, he could still change his mind, I imagine, but I don't pretend to know Apollo's thought process with all that."

Jack nodded again, fidgeting with his coffee cup.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you a more optimistic answer," Euterpe said.

"Don't be," Jack said, realizing that he had gotten all of this information out of Euterpe and still didn't know what to do about Apollo.

So what was the next step? Did he just tell Euterpe what was going on to try and get her input?

Surely she'd tell the other Muses, and the fact that Apollo was going behind their backs could influence their decision one way or another. He was supposed to be leaving it alone, right?

He was already doing a terrible job leaving it alone.

"She didn't want to come back," Jack said, unsure if he was telling Euterpe or reminding himself as the cemetery gates came into view.