Chapter 5

"Well, it doesn't look too serious, but you should take the rest of the day off. Classes are almost over anyway." The school nurse finished his examination of Yu and was quick to dismiss him.

Yu stood up carefully from the bed he'd been sitting on. "Thank you, I'll do that." He wasn't sure if his feeling ill was due to sickness or just nerves.

The nurse nodded and returned to his desk, motioning with his hand towards the door. At least Yu didn't have to make small talk with the man. Once Yu was in the hallway he took out his phone and decided to text Yosuke about it, not wanting to imagine the angry lecture Yosuke would give him later if Yu kept it from him.

Feeling weird, I'm going home.

Yu didn't want to tell Yosuke he was sick if he wasn't, and as much as Yosuke tried to play it cool, he overreacted more than Kanji sometimes. Yu was almost positive after the check-up that it was him being overly upset about this confession letter. At this point, he was trying to do whatever he could to take his mind off the note Yosuke had received, but it was growing more difficult as it neared the end of the school day. Yosuke was the kind of person that wasn't the best with words, and often found his foot—or Chie's foot, in his mouth.

The train ride home was less crowded than usual thankfully, but that was another perk of leaving before rush hour. Yu thought about how packed they would be during Golden Week and frowned. Maybe leaving Sunday would make his life much easier, but it was unlikely. It was exciting to think about how the gang would be back together again, and he'd have to call Nanako and his uncle to let them know about the visit.

He checked his phone and was disappointed to see that Yosuke hadn't texted him once all day. He was probably stressing about talking to the girl, and Yu tried to ignore the part of him that was happy she was getting her heart broken. It was childish and selfish, but Yu couldn't help it and wasn't going to deny it. Last year had proven how dangerous that tended to be. However, he wasn't acknowledging the other part of him that was slowly becoming overwhelmed with self-pity.

The apartment was as empty and quiet as it usually was and he had long stopped declaring that he was home. At least Nanako greeted him, and honestly there were times when the apartment reminded him of that emptiness he felt last December.

Pi, pi, pi!

ahhh yosuke just walked rite out of the classroom. i dunno if he is going to talk 2 that girl cuz he didnt say n e thing to us 2day. :((( poor girl.

Yu looked at Chie's message a few times before deciding not to respond for the time being. He did, however, text Yosuke.

Hey, are you still at school?

Surely Yosuke wouldn't just leave and not talk to the girl. Why wouldn't he have at least mentioned it to the others though? It had to be because he didn't want them to pester him like they had the other day.

Buzz.

omg they r on the roof! we r gonna investigate!

So, he did go meet her, but why was Chie choosing to text him this stuff? He wanted and didn't want to know what was going on, but it was better to get this over with. Yu sat down on the edge of the couch, phone in both hands with eyes locked on the screen. He wasn't going to move until he got some kind of confirmation regarding the situation. He'd react accordingly then.

all that sneaking around last year rly helped! we even got past that noisy door w/out him noticing!

This play by play was beginning to make Yu sick.

alrite yukiko and i r hiding. ill let u know wat happens!

The tips of his fingers started to tingle and his skin started to feel like it was hovering a few inches above the rest of his body.

"Not now." One hand went to his forehead and he closed his eyes for a moment.

Chie didn't send anything for what seemed like a while, but Yu wasn't really certain of the passage of time anymore. He felt anxious with both Yosuke and the now familiar sight of the walls deciding to move.

And then, the world caved in.

uhhh yea he totally just accepted. wtf y didnt he tell the rest of us?!

His stomach dropped and he felt an overwhelming force push against his chest. Yu's hands started to shake and he dropped the phone to the carpet while the room turned sharply at a 90 degree angle. Quickly after that, he fell towards the coffee table in front of him and felt a searing pain go through his head as his temple caught the edge on the way down.

"Goddammit." He scrambled to grab for his phone while the tint of the apartment turned to a sickly yellow.

He pressed his speed dial for Yosuke and tried to concentrate as the ring echoed painfully in his ear. Yu called a few more times before texting Yosuke.

Yosuke, please pick up.

Soon he could barely see the screen in front of him as the air became thick with fog and Yu coughed violently as he tried to crawl towards to kitchen. He thought about calling his mother, but it would be too difficult to explain. He needed Yosuke, he needed to hear his voice, he needed to be told that he would be okay and that he wasn't losing his mind.

pls answer

Yu placed his fingertips to the side of his head and pulled them back to see red. His eyes shut and he tried to focus on the best course of action to take. His glasses were in his room and maybe if he could reach those he could see through the fog. None of it was real, but maybe his mind could associate the glasses as a solution. He opened his eyes and began clawing at the carpet trying to get a grip on it and pull himself forward; when that didn't work he blindly reached for a piece of furniture to use as leverage. However, he couldn't even move past the edge of the dining table. Yu had to pause to regain his energy, but felt his legs go numb and his heart start to race dangerously fast. He rested his cheek against the floor and tried not to think about how he was going to scrub blood out later. His fingers barely worked as he sent several more messages to Yosuke, forgetting what they'd said immediately after he pressed send.

He hadn't felt this helpless since Namatame took Nanako hostage in the TV, and all attempts to contact Yosuke had seemed to fail. He felt a mixture of anger and sorrow, but he really didn't have time to pity himself.

It was getting harder to keep his eyes open as the shadows in the apartment started to grow in size and appear to gain mass. He sent one last text to Yosuke in the hopes that he would see the message and respond before it was too late.

theyre everywhere

However, Yu knew it was too late.

He looked on as the Shadows began to slide towards one another, inching closer and closer to him. Slowly, the shadows combined and grew in height, forming what appeared to be a silhouette of a person. Yu silently mouthed that it wasn't real to try and convince himself and gain back some sense of reality, but soon the figure was standing only a couple feet from him. Through blurred vision Yu studied what he could of the thing in front of him, but froze completely when yellow eyes met his.

He saw himself.

"Hello." The Shadow's face became even clearer and Yu couldn't deny his reflection before him.

The Shadow slammed the heel of his foot into the side of Yu's head. "I don't believe we've ever had the pleasure."

Yu yelled loudly as his wound was ground against the carpet.

"Tsch, so weak. You've practically had your guts ripped from your body and this makes you cry out? Come on, leader."

Instantly, Yu's stomach was met with a kick that knocked him into the kitchen, slamming his back against a cabinet.

"Can't even stand? It's easier to act tough when you're trying to impress someone, isn't it?" His Shadow knelt down in front of him and smiled wickedly.

"You and I are going to have a conversation that's long overdue." He patted the side of Yu's cheek several times before standing back up.

Yu curled into half fetal position, pressing his arms against his abdomen to try and subdue the pain. How could this be happening outside the TV? Why now and not back in Inaba? No one's Shadow had been this violent at first.

"You aren't a child anymore, stop cowering." Yu's Shadow took the tip of his shoe and tucked it under Yu's chin, lifting Yu's head up to look at him.

"Why... are you... here?" Yu croaked, feeling as though his organs had been crushed.

"Don't bullshit me, you know why," the Shadow snarled and shook his head. "You're fucking pathetic."

Yu jerked his head away. "I'm not denying anything."

"Aren't you?" He cocked his head to the side and smiled knowingly.

Yu knew that there was no other reason for his Shadow to be there unless he was in denial of something, but he honestly couldn't think of anything at that moment. Not even some dark, repressed thought. Somewhere, Izanagi was trying to tear his way out of Yu's mind, but there wasn't any way for him to manifest.

His Shadow shrugged and leaned against the adjacent counter. "The needy, lonely leader. Doomed to that loneliness while your friends get to have the time of their lives in Inaba. Or, at least that's what it feels like compared to this city. Why do they get to have fun when you were the one that really brought them all together? Honestly, they wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for you."

"No. Everyone worked together," Yu pushed up with the remainder of his strength and sat with his back against the lower cabinet.

"That's a laugh. They'd be dead without you, you're the special one. They can't do anything without you. Honestly, how did they make it to school every day without meeting with some cruel end? You were the universal problem solver. Yu Narukami, just ask him and he'll drop everything to fix your fucked up life," the Shadow jabbed, his eyes turning to slits as he talked, and sounding more and more pleased with himself.

"I did those things... because I cared about people."

His Shadow burst into laughter. "No, you did it because you were so fucking desperate to belong to something. As long as they showed some kind of love for you, some kind of admiration, you'd drop everything to fix their issues. It didn't matter how trivial and selfish they were. You were tired of being the mysterious transfer student that spoke to no one and didn't have friends. You wanted to be the mysterious transfer student that was worshipped. You wanted to be revered as their God, as someone who came and saved them from the life of monotony that plagued them."

Yu knew that every time they'd encountered someone's Shadow it had been a reflection of their feelings, but in the most dramatic and exaggerated way possible. He couldn't take this at face value. He maintained his calm mask.

"Oh, and he was the best one of all, wasn't he? Your clumsy other half that—"

"Shut your fucking mouth. You don't get to talk about him," Yu threatened, slamming a fist against the ground, his calm demeanor suddenly gone.

"There's that nerve I was searching for. But he's special, isn't he?" His Shadow chuckled and crossed his arms. "We haven't even begun to dissect that little screwed-up head of yours. You've covered up a lot these past few years, but nothing like the shit you felt in Inaba. Now the feeble mental dam you've constructed has crumbled and I'm going to haunt your every moment, waking or not. You and I are the same, and I am not going to let you forget that." He flew forward and grabbed Yu's head, pinning him against the cabinet. "I will break you. They'll lock you up and try to pick apart that brain of yours. You know it's over, you can't recover. This kind of stuff only happens to crazy people, right? However, you're the strong and resilient Yu Narukami. Or...at least that's what everyone else feeds you. Those are the compliments you've come to depend on, but now the gratitude has stopped rolling in and you're stuck realizing all your friends don't give a damn about you. What do they send? Only messages asking for advice. When do they ever ask about you? All you did for everyone and this is how you are repaid? Hell, the person you say you love can't even take the time to keep a single promise. They don't deserve—"

But just like that the lights came on, his Shadow dissipated and the room transformed back to normal.

"Yu! Oh my God, Yu! Are you ok?! Call an ambulance!" In seconds his mother was at his side.

Yu reached for her and touched her arm gently. "No... no please don't. I'm fine... just fell." His was still disoriented from the sudden jolt.

"No, you are going to have this looked at! Yu you're bleeding, oh God... Did you call them yet!?" His mother was carefully examining the cut and not realizing the shrillness of her voice made the teen's head throb.

"Mother. I'm. Fine." Yu was obviously the opposite, but the last thing he needed was an evaluation at the hospital. All they were going to do was patch up his head, but not in the way he needed.

"It looks worse than it is," his father insisted as he knelt down in front of him and shined a small light in both of Yu's eyes.

"This is serious. He needs to get stitches, or something!" She was frantic at this point.

"As the only doctor in this room, I am going to make that decision." He stared suspiciously at Yu's eyes for a moment before shutting off the light. "He's just shaken up."

Yu had taken the time to compose his lie. "I went home early from school feeling dizzy. I tried to get up from the couch and lost my balance. I'll clean up the mess in a few minutes."

It seemed to work for his mother.

"You will absolutely not! We will worry about that. Let's get you in a chair." Soon his parents were lifting him up and helping him to the dining table.

"Yu, why didn't you call me? I could have picked you up from school or at least come home early!"

His father was already working on cleaning him up. "Enough. I don't believe he has a concussion, but we need to focus on keeping him awake for the next few hours. I'll take care of this, go get changed."

Although Yu could tell his mother was not pleased with the instruction, she did as her husband asked. It left the two of them alone in the room and Yu couldn't remember the last time it had just been them. After what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence, his father finally spoke.

"Your pupils were dilated. What was going on?"

Dammit.

"It must have been because of the injury to my head. I don't really have any recollection of the past"—Yu looked at the clock—"five hours..."

Had it really been that long?

"Hmm... you might have suffered from a seizure. It seems unlikely, but so does you taking some kind of hallucinatory drug." He pulled away and took off his gloves and continued his inquiry, "Unless I do need to test you."

"Your first assumption was correct. I am not taking anything."

"Good."

And that was all that was said about it, but Yu knew his father was skeptical. His mother came back in the room, still visibly shaken.

"Thank God Yosuke called my brother. It could have been tomorrow before I found you."

Yu's jaw dropped slightly. "Yosuke... called Dojima?"

His mother nodded. "Yes, and that reminds me, I need to call Ryotaro back and let him know you're okay."

Yu had to call Yosuke. "May I be excused to my room? I'm really fine."

"No. You need to stay in here so we can make sure you stay awake," his father spoke in an intimidating voice.

"May I please make a phone call?" Yu countered.

"Yes, you should let Yosuke know you're ok," Yu's mother interjected before her husband could answer.

Yu politely requested for her to retrieve his phone and thanked her before dialing Yosuke again. His father eyed him before standing up and heading for his bedroom. Yu would have to come up with something more convincing for him. The phone only rang once.

"Yu! I was so worried! What the hell happened!? I am so, so, SO sorry I didn't get your messages or calls!" Yosuke's words were running together.

"It's okay, I'm fine, I just fell and hit my head. I didn't mean to worry you." Yu watched as his mother followed his father into their room, rambling on the phone with his uncle. "But... I had some other issues."

"What did you see? What triggered it? Dude, I cannot believe I missed the first damn call. I am so sorry."

"Really, don't worry about it." How was he supposed to explain the cause? How was he going to explain his Shadow?

Yosuke had less patience than usual. "Did something happen at school?"

"No, I was just feeling poorly today. When I got home it just became too much to contain, I suppose. It was mostly just fog and the shadows, but I"—he couldn't tell him right now, not when he didn't even fully understand what had happened—"think it was just a very bad day."

"I think bad day is an understatement. You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice. I was ready to hop on a train and find you, partner."

"You don't even know where the apartment is." Yu had a small smile.

"I have the address and crappy GPS on my phone. I'd have figured it out. I perform a lot better under pressure. Helps me think."

"Yeah, that GPS is garbage."

"Dude, don't I know it."

If it hadn't been for the throbbing pain and morbid events that had just occurred, this would have been like a normal conversation. However, as much as Yu wanted to suppress it, he hadn't forgotten about what Chie had informed him of. In any other situation it would have been a completely inappropriate time to bring it up, but seeing as how it had almost certainly been what had thrown him into the hallucinations, it seemed pretty pertinent to clear it up.

"Well, to get my mind off the previous hours' events, how did today go?"

Yu was going to give Yosuke the benefit of the doubt first, but he knew the truth.

"Look dude, now is not the time to worry about all that. You need to rest, you can text me later."

"So, you accepted?" Any other person might have asked if someone had been spying on them, but Yu would have known the answer based on how Yosuke had just acted without Chie's help.

There were several moments of silence.

"Yeah, I guess. We're not, like, a couple or anything. Just giving it a try. It'd feel weird to say I went my high school career without a single date, or whatever us hanging out is gonna be. Plus, she's...cute. Seems normal."

"I see."

Yu had responded with a voice void of emotion, and Yosuke was quick to notice.

"You okay? Hey, I'm not using her or anything! Seriously, I wanna give this a shot—as friends! Not as a couple."

"No, I understand. You're not like that anyway." Yu feigned his understanding, but only because something was off with Yosuke's voice. There was no sincerity in anything he was saying.

Yosuke laughed awkwardly. "You're right, I don't need to defend myself to you of all people. Thanks man... Maybe something comes out of this, maybe it doesn't, but at least I gave it a shot."

"Indeed. What's her name?"

Yu figured he might as well play the role of supportive best friend until both of them came clean with one another.

"Ume Hayashi. Seems mature for her age... I guess. I'm not the best judge of that."

"I think last year proves that statement wrong."

"I'm not so sure about that. I made and almost made a lot of decisions I wasn't proud of."

Yu's head was beginning clear up, but the pain from his wound raged on.

"I disagree, but you're stubborn and I'm exhausted," Yu countered while trying to lighten the mood, but that wasn't his strongest skill.

"Ugh, I'm sorry partner, and this all could have possibly been avoided if I wasn't so caught up in my own crap. See? Immature, bad decisions. Get some rest and call me later if you need me. I won't mess up again," Yosuke insisted, more firmly this time.

Yu hummed in response, too tired to argue with the final wave of fatigue hitting him.

"Well, hopefully the next time I talk to you it'll be different circumstances. Feel better partner," Yosuke's voice cracked towards the end.

"Thanks, talk to you then."

There was a momentary delay, as if both of them wanted to say something they couldn't, but finally they shut their phones and Yu's gaze wandered to the rug he'd stained. As much as he didn't want to deal with it, he had more pressing issues than Yosuke's lies and new 'friend' to contend with.

His parents had finally let him get ready for bed, but insisted he take the next day off from school. Yu hadn't argued, but it also wouldn't have mattered; by the time he'd been allowed to leave the living room for his own room it was mere hours before he would have had to get up anyway. His mother decided to stay home to keep an eye on him, but his father went back to the hospital. Not that this was any surprise to Yu, and he honestly didn't want to risk any more questions from him.

He gripped the sink in his bathroom to steady himself and stared into the mirror.

"No bruises... anywhere," he commented as he briefly let go to lift his shirt and examine his torso. "But how?"

Those attacks felt real, and he'd even ended up in the kitchen from one of the blows. Did he really just imagine it all? Izanagi had reacted to his Shadow, but what if it was just Izanagi trying to protect Yu from inflicting harm on himself? He tried to picture punching himself in the stomach or flinging himself into a different room, but it seemed too ridiculous. If he'd hit himself there would be some sign of trauma by now, even a little bit, but no part of him was even swollen.

He opened the cabinet the mirror was attached to and searched through the different kinds of first aid supplies until he found painkillers. He placed them in his hand and downed three with a grimace. After last year's events he figured he would have gotten used to them by now.

Yu carefully closed the cabinet, but jumped when he saw a blurry figure behind him.

"I warned you."

He whipped around to see only the back wall of the bathroom.

"Dammit," he cursed and rubbed his eyes.

His Shadow—or at least that's what Yu would consider him for now—had threatened to plague Yu no matter what his condition was, but if he was seeing his Shadow now without the other symptoms...

"Yu! Are you in bed yet?" She was growing to be overprotective.

"Ah, sorry. I'm doing that now."

Yu cautiously stepped into the hallway and into his room, checking every dark corner as he did so. Once he reached his bed he paused and opened his desk drawer to retrieve his old glasses. He assumed it might be safer to carry them at all times to test his earlier theory. Izanagi and his other Personas hummed restlessly in his mind and Yu closed his eyes, attempting to calm them. The last thing he needed was for them to suddenly appear in front of him. He didn't need another mystery to solve.

He turned the glasses over in his hands and carefully put them on, glancing around the room. Nothing seemed any different, but the walls were also behaving now. He took them off, placed them next to his phone on the nightstand and finally got into bed.

As dead as he felt, his paranoia prevented him from keeping his eyes closed for more than a few seconds at a time. The light was starting to peek through his windows as the sun crept up, and Yu tried to focus on the lines his blinds were creating on the floor. He tried to remember the different things that could have triggered his hallucinations and what he could do to avoid them. Yosuke's new 'relationship' seemed unavoidable for the time being, but there had to be others. Surely his mental health's drastic decline hadn't resulted solely from the currently strained relationship he had with Yosuke.

"Tell me, hero, how long do you plan to go on convincing yourself I'm not real?"

Yu wasn't as alarmed by the voice this time, and didn't move as he felt the edge of the bed sink. "It's impossible for you to exist outside of the TV."

"Why? Because your friends faced their true selves there? You know that world is linked to this one." Yu heard him chuckle.

Yu sat up and looked at him. "If I'm going insane I can accept that, but this isn't how—"

"This isn't what? Standard procedure? Please, everything about you is textbook crazy. The Velvet Room? You weren't always in the TV for that, were you? Don't try to argue with feeble excuses when you have decisive evidence," his Shadow replied with a smug expression.

Yu glared. "You would know."

"Indeed I would." A grin spread across his face.

"Then what? If you're my Shadow then all I have to do is accept you. If I don't then you transform into some twisted monster," Yu spoke matter-of-factly.

His Shadow threw his head back in momentary laughter. "Is that what you think? You get a big, bad monster to fight? Your situation is quite different and you know it. Don't play stupid," he spoke in questions, but Yu knew the Shadow was just taunting him. They never asked real questions. "There is no oasis for your mind to escape to, and all the sleep, therapy or medicine in the world won't help you. This isn't the reality modern medicine has been designed for, this is the reality a rare few ever get to experience. So we're going to talk, and talk, and talk some more."

Izanagi snarled and Yu felt the old, familiar pressure against the back of his forehead. Any other time it would have been a welcome feeling of protection, but for now he'd have to subdue his Personas.

"Why now? Why not last year when—"

"Oh, enough stalling. It doesn't matter why or when!" His Shadow started clicking his tongue.

Yu wasn't sure if he was safe to think of some kind of strategy, or if his Shadow would become violent again. All of the others' Shadows had varying levels of tempers, but his was acting strangely.

"Stop trying to pick yourself apart, Yu." A smirk formed as the Shadow stated Yu's name.

"Just say what you have to say."

"We do love drama, don't we?"

Yu knew that he had to take every word and not fall into the familiar trap. "At times, yes."

Buzz.

The both looked towards Yu's cell phone.

"You going to check that?" The Shadow chuckled and drew a knee to his chin.

Yu never took his eyes off his Shadow as he grabbed the phone and opened it with the screen facing his reflection.

"Experimenting with whether or not I'm real? If I can read the message without you having seen it first then you have something tangible to fear?" His eyes remained locked on Yu's. "Sorry, not giving you the satisfaction either way. You can't trick me if I'm you, or did you already forget we occupy the same headspace?"

The questions were starting to annoy Yu, but he mustered his last shred of remaining patience to stay calm. His eyes finally broke away and looked at the message.

hey partner. i still feel like complete shit for last night. i just want you to know that it won't happen again and that nothing changes. you're still number 1 and golden week is all about you! text me when you feel up to it! 5 days!

The Shadow's outline grew fuzzier in the background as Yu read the message. He looked up at his Shadow's blank face and watched as his form grew transparent.

"For now." Two words and he was gone again.

Yu collapsed backwards onto the pillow and partially covered his face with his forearm. His Shadow seemed more interested in torturing him than anything, and this behavior was very off-kilter when compared to the other situations. What could he do? It didn't matter if it was just something he'd created or if it was the real thing, because he couldn't outsmart himself. As much as he hated the idea, he would have to keep this from the others for now—even Naoto, and especially Yosuke. It was nice to read Yosuke's declaration that Yu was most important, even if it was an exaggeration.

He tried replaying the Shadow's words over and over again, but he couldn't imagine these issues being so deeply entrenched that it took this level of abuse to draw them out. Did he really just use his friends to feel special? No, it was more complicated than that. He had to take what had been said and dial it back to a more normal, human view. It was true that he had wanted Inaba to be different, and for once he wanted to try and get to know people. He no longer wanted to let his stay's time limit interfere with him creating bonds with people, but it didn't mean he'd helped everyone because of his own selfish ways... Did it?

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. The phone's vibration began to numb the side of Yu's leg through the covers. He almost regretted the change of ringtone to vibrate.

Kanji.

Senpai, are you okay!?

Chie.

ahhhhhh yosuke said u were sick! :(((

Yukiko.

Please get some rest. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask.

Naoto.

Senpai, please rest. Contact me if you need anything.

How could his other self claim they didn't care? Could he really feel that way?

Buzz.

agh i'm sorry. naoto can read me like a book. it's a little creepy.

Yu allowed himself to laugh a little at Yosuke.

It's fine. Please let them know I'm feeling somewhat better, but I'm taking today off from school. Please don't feel bad.

It was simpler than a mass text.

sounds good... thanks for giving me another chance partner. i won't mess this one up.

Yu stared at the screen, and fought to text for Yosuke to 'break up' with Ume—who wasn't even his girlfriend... yet. Part of Yu felt extremely arrogant, but he wondered if Yosuke really would end it if he simply asked. No, he'd just try to be supportive, but he didn't have to not fight for Yosuke.

You'll never be without chances. You're the most important person to me.

He might lose this battle. He was terrible with words.

gah, you better not be making fun of me! :p

Where did he stand with this? He could either help Yosuke or try to end their 'relationship', there was no middle ground here. What kind of person was he? He'd never had to deal with jealousy before, and especially not with someone he loved. If he cared about Yosuke, he was supposed to let him make his own decisions and not tie Yosuke down, right? If Yosuke wanted to be with Ume than Yu had no right to try and mess that up, because if he did love Yosuke, he was supposed to want him to be happy. Right now he could only act the way he actually felt, it was too dangerous at the moment to play the stoic friend.

No. I truly mean it, Yosuke. You're my number one.

It was a risky text, but it could mean friendship. Given the nature of their relationship, it was completely acceptable to talk like this, but it could still be misconstrued. He felt terrible, and every rational thought told him that he was going about this in the most selfish way possible, but what could he do? He wanted to try, and he still planned to tell Yosuke the truth during Golden Week. Their friendship was strong enough to withstand a confession, and although it might be stressed for a bit of time, it could be repaired.

and you'll always be mine.

Yu blinked and felt his face grow hot. That was an easily misconstrued text. Maybe Yosuke really did feel the same? Yu hadn't felt this kind of pressure before, and he started to believe that the courage he had to muster for battle was easier than this. He could keep this going.

Please mean that.

This was getting dangerous. Yu started to wonder if he could explain his way out of these texts if Yosuke started to question them. He had dodged the question about Mada the other day, but he couldn't keep doing that without Yosuke growing too suspicious.

of course partner, no one can ever change that.

Yosuke was completely serious. No over exaggerated punctuation or sidestepping. Yu took one final chance and didn't take even a second to talk himself out of it.

Can I come Saturday evening? I need to talk to you about something important. I don't want the others or my family to know I am arriving early.

He could feel Mada and the others warming his chest, but he still hoped he made the right decision without being too obvious. If he told Yosuke during the beginning of Golden Week than maybe he could use the remaining time to fix anything he might break.

yea absolutely. we can just walk around all night to avoid the wrath of my parents if need be. wouldn't be the first late night adventure with just the two of us, right?

If this worked than he really would be ending Yosuke and Ume's budding relationship, but had they really been talking long enough for Yu to be ruining anything substantial?

Just understand if it's a little difficult for me. If I'm being completely honest, I kind of wish we could just spend the break away from everyone. I know that must sound bizarre.

If he set up the conversation this way, maybe Yosuke could guess before Saturday and start considering the possibilities. Yu could at least try and plant the idea.

no as weird as it sounds i agree. feels like we never really got any time to talk besides a few hours after school.

Yu knew he had an advantage with Yosuke over Ume if this did turn into what he wanted. It felt wrong to exploit their closeness, but he would without hesitation. He'd accept his wrongdoings and live with them. Then again, his flip-flopping was beginning to tire him out. How many times could he change his mind in a five minute time span?

I'm glad I'm not the only one. Thank you, Yosuke. I could lose everyone, but I don't think I could lose you. Don't take that as though the others are expendable, but I'm not sure how else to explain.

He had to start dialing this back. It was starting to feel like the confession might slip via text message and Yu wasn't going to allow that.

no need. i understand and feel the same. after all, we're partners, right? carries more meaning than just friends. :)

Yu started to feel like Yosuke was purposefully confusing him. So many things he was saying could mean two or three things, but Yu associated the messages with the platonic route and decided to let Yosuke focus on school.

Partners. Now pay attention in class, and you can text me when you aren't learning something. :)

bleeeeh, fine. i'll text during lunch break. sleep now. that's an order, partner! (lol ordering the leader)

He certainly had a knack for cheering Yu up in a way no one else could. His Personas seemed to dull his headache and gave him a mild euphoric feeling. It was almost as though they were rewarding him, but Yu wondered if this could be considered positive reinforcement for his egocentric actions.

"Wait..." Yu's eyes widened in a sudden realization.

How did he have the same strong connection to his Personas if his Shadow was appearing now? Did this give affirmation that his Shadow was just a figment of his growing insanity? He wasn't sure which was scarier. However, he finally felt calm enough to sleep and he'd could tackle some of his problems when he woke up for Yosuke's break. He wasn't exactly avoiding them, because now he could test the warning his Shadow had made earlier.

If he'd see the Shadow in his dreams.