AN: There's some mature content in this chapter, just so you know... And sorry for the late update...I'll post another chapter tomorrow morning.

Olivia's POV

What the fuck did you do?

I'm trying to stay calm, I'm trying to keep from crying but the tears are spilling out from either corners of my eyes, so my efforts are pathetic and useless. How can everything be so...amazingly surreal and then just... surreal? I don't know. But I intend to find out. I reach down next to the toilet to the eggshell white cheap one ply toilet. Crumpling it up, I stab it at my eyes and force myself to breath. I slip off Fitz's Henley and one pair of his flannel pajamas and step into my dirty day clothes...

Two Hours Ago

I can't stop thinking about him. I'm taken, I'm engaged and I cannot stop thinking about a married man. Even starting the hot shower, hearing the water leak down from the shower head and onto my hair and head, I can't stop thinking about him. He's in there, only a few meters away from me, drunk and not of sound mind. I feel dirty and sleazy but also excited. He makes me excited. Which is disgusting because he's grieving and sad. I'm disgusting.

Ugh.

I feel so bad. And I feel bad for him. His son died and it wasn't his fault. He feels like he should have been there to protect him and he just wasn't. It's not his fault.

I hear the door swing open and I peek behind the sheer curtain, feeling very exposed. Did he hear me when he said I was gonna be in here? Shit - I should really get him back to bed. But I'm naked and the towel is on the sink..."Fitz."

"Olivia," I hear his voice much closer to me than expected, just right through the curtain. The weird thing he doesn't sound drunk. Obviously he is drunk but not as much as around twenty minutes ago. He sounds nervous, though. The curtain rustles - I grab it and press it against the wall.

"Fitz, I'm in here. Don't come in."

"Why not?" Fitz asks, but he doesn't try anything. It's sweet of him to be a gentleman, even when he's kind of drunk. He obviously wants to come in but if he knows it'll make me uncomfortable, I know he won't. Still, a part of me wishes he would. Suddenly, I'm feeling very insecure.

"Fitz..." I began, but I can't think of anything to say. 'I don't want you to come in here' would be a lie. Finally, I just call out, "You shouldn't be in here."

"You think I don't know that?" Fitz scoffs, still right through the curtain. He definitely doesn't sound as impaired as he was a while ago...maybe he sobered up on some tea or water. But it's quite apparent that he's not completely sober...he's probably like me right now. A little buzzed but still sober enough to be coherent, to understand what's going on and to make wise decisions. But him coming in here was not one. "I know that, Livvy. Trust me, I know that."

I slowly turn the knob off, stopping the water from spraying anymore. The silence between us is filled with so many unsaid words, unsaid actions. I've never felt this way before. He's literally the only one that can make me feel so amazing and so horrible at the same time. I forget about Jake when I'm with him. And I understand that I'm a whore or a bitch (or both) for that. But you don't understand...when I'm with him, I don't exactly care.

I'm gonna do something. Kiss him or screw him or something. I've accepted it. I'm strong but I'm not strong enough. So the only thing I can count on is him not making a move.

He clears his throat, interrupting my hopes. "Olivia...you say the word and I'll leave."

I can't.

And after a minute, he realizes this. He steps in. He's naked. When did that happen? But I don't have time to contemplate it.

His eyes lock onto my lips and he meets them with his own. My arms go instinctively around his neck and before I know it, the shower is back on and he has me pressed against the dirty motel shower wall. And I don't care. Feeling his body against my own gives me a vibe I've never had with Jake. Fitz is a strong guy and it shows in the way he moves, in how he grabs me and kisses me yet he's so gentle and passionate. Me? I'm just me. I'm not some type of sex God like himself. But I don't care right now. I don't feel exposed. I jump up a little and wrap my legs around his waist. I'm a bad person. I know I'm a bad person because once he has me up against him in the shower, I don't give a fuck if he's my client. I don't even give a fuck that we're both unavailable. And I don't give a fuck about what that makes me.

I moan. I never knew I moaned before, I'm not a loud person during sex. He's not even inside me, he's just holding me and his mouth has moved down to my neck. And yet I'm moaning - LOUD.

"Is this okay?" Fitz asks before kisses on my shoulder. "I mean, is this okay with you? Are you okay?"

No, I'm not okay. But I don't want him to stop. I just nod.

While he's kissing me, I take a moment to run my hands down his neck and look at his back and torso. Underneath the base of his neck, there's a small row of large, purple bruises. And there's cuts above his spine and his forearms, along with the deep ones on his face. I don't care. I don't like how he got them...but I like him and I will accept him. I wish I could have protected him when he was hurt. So yeah, I don't like his injuries but they're beautiful if they're a part of him. He's so beautiful. He just doesn't know it.

He stops kissing me and I realize he's caught me analyzing his bruises. "Don't look at them."

"Why?" I whisper, looking at him. "You look fine, Fitz."

He kisses me next to my mouth. "No, I don't. You look beautiful, you ARE beautiful. But I'm broken and I know that. Don't look at my bruises, Livvy. Don't pay any attention to them."

I lean up and kiss his wet forehead. I run my fingers throughout his light brown waves of hair. And I decide to tell him the truth. "Shut up...you're amazing. You're hot."

He laughs a little against my cheek and then continues kissing me. I don't even have time to look back at the bruises because I throw my head back and moan some more. When he hears me, his kisses grow more intense and I just know he's leaving hickies.

And I don't mind at all.

X

"That was..."

He can't even finish his sentence. But I'm above him on the bed, tying the drawstrings on the pajama pants he gave me and I can see his eyes are wide. I laugh and plop down next to him. I offer, "Amazing?"

He looks at me and kisses me with a smile. "Yes, amazing. More than that. How was it for you?"

"Hm..." I pretend to consider it. "It was alright."

"Stop lying!" Fitz grabs me and I burst out laughing. "I was amazing. I believe the words you used were 'sex God'?"

I smirk and reach across him, flicking off the lamp. It's late and although I cheated on my fiancé, I am feeling very calm and relaxed. I can deal with all my bullshit tomorrow. All I want to do now is go to sleep in Fitz's arms after mind blowingly amazing sex. "Good night, loser."

He pulls me so I'm resting on his bare chest. "You said that before, Livvy."

I grin and lean up on his chest. I can see the glimmer of his royal blue eyes in the moonlight. "Are you okay? Seriously, are you?"

"Despite the fact you took advantage of me?" Fitz jokes. "Believe me, I'm fine."

I smile but then pull on a serious expression. "I mean it, Fitz. How do you feel...about this? What are you thinking of Mellie?"

"I'm not thinking of Mellie," he answers matter-of-factly. "And you shouldn't be thinking of what's-his-face, for that matter. And how I feel regarding this? I have no clue what's gonna go on, Livvy. How we could be together. I don't know if we can. Maybe this was a one time thing. But it was damn good. Thank you."

I nod and close my eyes, but my mind doesn't shut up. I don't feel guilty - although I know that it's all gonna hit me later. It's so surreal...I feel like I'm a dream. A great one with the man of my dreams and no worries. I know that reality is gonna strike but for right now, it's not. My current reality is laying in the arms of a wonderful guy and being more content than I have in a long guy. I put both my arms around him.

He's so amazing. He's funny, kind and passionate. He's a genuinely good man. But he doesn't believe that. He doesn't see his greatness. It makes me sad. But it also allows me the chance to show him every opportunity I get. And I'm glad to. I like seeing him smile. And I'm so sorry he has to suffer through this hell.

A few minutes later, he's asleep and I'm ridiculously close to falling asleep too. My eyelids are getting heavy and it's incredibly late. But a distant noise is keeping my brain up...and it seems to be getting slightly louder every time it comes back around. I mean, LA is a loud place, so I don't even really notice the noise until it's nearby. Police cars - more than one of them. They sound like they're right outside. And in a minute, I see the flashes of red and blue reflecting the curtains. I carefully sit up as to not wake Fitz. I'm wide awake myself now. I swing my legs away from the bed and walk very softly to the door, my heart beating fast. I peak the door open a microscopically small amount - just enough so I can see the three police cars, right in fact outside. I push the door closed and press my back against it, breathing hard.

Why are they here? What do they want? Are they here for Fitz. I grab my phone off the small table. No texts or calls from David or emails from the judge. What's going on? Maybe they aren't here for Fitz or anything related to the case...LA is a crazy place. Shit happens everywhere, anytime.

I crawl back on the bed, next to Fitz, but no longer in his arms just in case. Just in case they are here for him. To revoke his bail. To take him away from me. I want to hold on to him, to make sure they never take him away from me. But I know that there's nothing I can do to protect him if that happens. I just hold onto his forearm. He's sleeping so soundly, even through the blaring sirens. After the shitty week he's been through, he deserves this type of peaceful sleep. Please, God, don't let it be ruined by the cops taking him back. Please. It's so stupid. I'm so angry. I'm crying - quietly as to not wake him. But mostly because I'm smart and I know the reason why the police is here.

Sure enough, a few panicky minutes later, there's a click on the latch and a flashlight cutting through the dark room. I block the light with my hand and sit up, shaking. "Can I help you, o-officer?"

The officer and the cops behind him look completely taken aback. I guess it's not the best thing for the case - the cops finding the suspect half naked in bed with his lawyer. But I'm too shaken up to care. Or to explain myself in a crazy, unrealistic lie. All I do is try to console the tears rushing down my face.

"Yes," an officer behind the main one clears his throat. He nudges the leader, who holds up a piece of paper shaded by the light. Another officer walks beside us and elbows Fitz awake. "We have a warrant for the arrest of Fitzgerald Grant. Who are you, ma'am?"

I don't tell them I'm his lawyer. I don't say anything. I guess it's not realistic for his defense lawyer to be gushing out tears, so they believe me and don't ask anything further. I turn to Fitz and wipe my nose with the sleeve of his Henley I have on. He's waking up but the officer is practically dragging him out of bed. His eyes aren't even open when he's cuffed. He stumbles out of bed, naked except a pair of navy boxers. "L-Livvy..."

"I'm right here," I reach out to him, but I'm just not close enough. My voice is low because I'm afraid if I speak louder, he might hear the sobs growing in my throat and diaphragm. "Fitz, don't worry."

"What's going on?" Fitz asks, now awake and trying to resist the officer pulling him away. I bit my lip, trying to contain my sobs. It hurts so much to see him like this. He's not a criminal...and he's being treated like one. They're hurting him. He doesn't deserve this. "W-why is this happening to me? Olivia!"

I cradle my face in my hands. I know exactly why it's happening, but I didn't tell him. I didn't want to. I wanted to protect him, but he just ended up unprepared and scared. I fucked up, yet again. I would do anything to trade places with him. He's so scared. And I'm so sorry. I can't even hold myself together long enough to comfort him. To think clearly. It's not fair. This feels like a nightmare.

One officer pulls him away while another one reads him his Miranda rights over my crying. I guess that's when it hits me - he's been through this before. He's been arrested before - in a more severe situation, when he was covered in blood and a victim himself. It must've been even harder on him. So yeah, this is horrible for him to deal with but there was a worse time. And I wasn't there for that. I make him happy. I'm not saying that in a vain way - it's just facts. When I'm with him, talking with him and joking with him, he seems a bit brighter than when he's alone. I wasn't there at first. I was halfway across the country, happy, content, engaged and ready to start settling down. I refused to work on this case. I didn't care about Fitz's innocence. Now I would give anything to prove it.

X

I look at the mirror one last time. The shower washed off all my makeup and I look like I've been through hell and back. That, and there's a wavering trail of hickies down my neck and collarbone - dark purple and red against my coffee cream skin. Nobody has ever given me hickies before. I know that sounds crazy because I'm in my thirties and I've definitely had at least ten sexual partners, not including Jake or Fitz, but I'm just noticing these are the first hickies I've ever had. They're not obvious but up close they're definitely noticeable. But I don't mind. I like them. They remind me of Fitz, of us together. I don't feel guilty about it yet, but I know I will soon, like I said.

I close my eyes. I miss him. Fitz. This seems like a nightmare - one minute everything is perfect and I'm laying with someone I have insanely intense feelings for and then the next minute he's pulled out of my arms. I realize then that even if Fitz and I hadn't slept together, we shared something intimate long before and that itself is cheating. Cheating on Mellie and cheating on Jake. It's probably illegal too, by the court of law. But neither of us cared. Eventually I will, because even if it's hard to believe, I do love Jake. And I feel apologetic to Mellie, but mostly confused at her and jealous that she had so much time to love this man.

I exit the bathroom, grab my purse and then leave the motel room altogether. I slip into my rental car and drive away from Savannah's Motel & Breakfast. Even though it's late, the city is alive and well, making the traffic a bitch. It gives me time to think, though. And I can't help thinking about Jake.

I love Jake. Even though he's an ass sometimes, I still love him. And I did a shitty thing tonight. He's my fiancé and I slept with another man. Not just sex. Sex is forgivable. Sex is carnal, physical. What I did...I shared feelings with Fitz that I never did with Jake. I supported Fitz...held him in my arms...cared for him the way I'm supposed to care for people I love. And I'm supposed to love Jake. I do love Jake. But so many things I feel with Fitz...I just don't feel with him. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?

I realize I'm crying again. I wipe my tears with my jacket.

Stop it! Stop crying. How can you do your job when you're breaking down like a bitch baby every five minutes or so? Be strong...be strong for Fitz. Be strong and get him the fuck out of that prison. Before they kill him. Because I know they will.