Fitz's POV

"It's nice to meet you," I greet the senators before I sit down. There's too many of them to shake hands with - that and I already used the back of my own hand to wipe away my tears just a minute before I came in here.

I lied to Liv - they asked me to come in just before she called. I decided to take her call instead, and I am so happy I did. It is, no matter what happens, officially the best day of my life. Granted, I am an emotional wreck right now, but it's okay. Savannah called me dad. Or was it daddy? I don't remember but I don't care. I don't care if she doesn't say it in front of me either. Just knowing she feels that way means everything to me. And no matter what happens today, nothing can ruin that.

I mean that. I want this - I have always wanted this. Politics is my passion and I have worked on this for a long ass time. I remember that day when I got the call from Sally personally. It was one of the best of my life.

But above it all, I would chose Savannah. And Karen. And Livvy. I would chose my family.

"Take a seat," Senator Carson instructs me.

I look around at them, noticing that they're all being very uncomfortable and sharing weird looks with each other. Do I still have tears on my face? I look at the reflection in the glass of water in front of me. No. Why are they acting like this?

"Mr. Grant," Senator Carson clears his throat. "First of all, I would like to thank you for coming in today."

She sounds really fake saying that - like it is staged and she says it to every soul that walks through this room. But I smile anyway. "And I would like to thank you all for seeing me this morning. I would also like to give my gratitude to President Langston, who kindly nominated me to -"

"We know President Langston nominated you," Senator Baylin speaks up, coughing awkwardly.

This is obviously not going very well and for the life of me, I don't know why. But I do know it's probably best to just shut the hell up, so that's exactly what I do.

"Let's cut to the chase," Senator Carson opens a while Manila folder and frowns. "Although we respect President Langston's nomination, we do not believe it will be a good fit in her cabinet."

I raise my eyebrows. Wow - that was really honest. Painfully so. They're not even referring to me as a person - I am an 'it'. "Can I ask why?"

Senator Carson passes the folder to the right and so does Senator Jones, so on and so forth until it reaches me. I don't have to open it to know what's inside. "Is this about Olivia Pope and her daughter?"

"We assumed she was your daughter." Senator Carson can't even look at me.

I slowly open the folder. The first picture is from a security video inside the women's bathroom at the Correspondents Dinner. Next is Livvy and I on the Blair House porch. Then, Savannah, Karen and I in Lafayette Park. "T-this is why the senate won't approve me?"

"The Langston Administration," Senator Brown explains. "Has remained generally free of scandal up until this point. Then, a few weeks ago, we get a report from an elderly woman in attendance at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Our agents look into it. And we find this. Olivia Pope also represented you in State of California versus Fitzgerald Grant five years ago. This is what we consider scandal."

"I'm sorry," Senator Carson adds. "The last thing this administration needs is something like this. We were all, to say the least, surprised when President Langston nominated you."

"Bullshit," I shake my head and curse, causing the senate to murmur in shock. I don't care at all. "What you consider scandal is just my case five years ago. I was acquitted for those charges. I lost a freaking son. But all you care about are optics."

I reach into the front pocket of my pants. Behind the folded card Livvy and the girls wrote is my flash drive. I whip it out and throw it on the table. "This is what I have been working on for weeks now. Inside you'll find four years worth of archives and work ups for attacks and alliances with West Angola and East Sudan. You'll find potential peace treaties with Iraq and Afghanistan. You'll find the five hundred thousand word new protocol list dealing with sexual harassment in the military - including effective prosecution, something this country hasn't seen in years. I did all this - from the ground up. I spent every morning, every night for the past few weeks putting this together. And you guys can't even give me five minutes of your time because you're worried about how I look?"

"Mr. Grant," Senator Carson begins sheepishly.

"Don't," I hold up my hand and stand up, shoving the flash drive back into my pocket. I spent the last few years of my life devoting everything to this day. To stand here. And this is what I get? "Nominating me was the smartest choice Sally ever made in this administration, which, by the way, has been drowned in scandal. This may be a joke to you all. But this what I have spent years on. Those girls in the pictures? They're family. They come before anything. But make no mistake - I would be the best damn Secretary of Defense this country has ever seen."

X

I should go home. That's where I wanna be - home, with my girls. But Karen is at school and Livvy is at work and God knows where Savannah is.

So instead, i'm here. I'm here, outside of the hill, just watching the world go by. I cannot believe what I did in there, what I said. I was angry, completely outraged, but I don't regret it. It was pathetic of me to think I would have another chance at a political career after this.

Even though I don't need this job, even though I'll be just fine without it, my heart is beating so fast and I am just so goddamn angry. I gave up months and months of my life when my daughter needed me the most. That time was stolen from her. I'm not getting it back and neither is she.

I look back at the Capitol behind me and swallow. I've been out here for at least half an hour, just waiting for something to happen. Waiting for me to feel some type of way. There is only one person in the world who can calm me down and even though she's with a client, I need her more. I am always gonna need her.

I pull out my cellphone and click on her contact, which I had admittedly put a heart eyes emoji next to. I smile looking at that. She picks up after the first ring. "Hey, you. Is it over? That was quick - how did it go?"

I grip the end of the bench and swallow again. "They only saw me for like, two minutes, Livvy."

"What?" Livvy sounds pissed off. "Are you serious? Why? What type of assholes...why?"

I can't help but laugh at just how angry she sounds. "If we're being fair, I'm also to blame. I yelled at them."

"You what?" Livvy still sounds mad, just at me now. "You yelled at the United States Senate?"

"I yelled at the United States Senate," I repeat, now aware of how crazy I actually am. I lean back on the bench. I could tell Livvy about the folder but knowing her, she would just blame herself and that's not fair. I would pick her over Secretary of Defense any day. Maybe that's ridiculous, maybe that's not what she wants to hear. But that's the truth. "They were just being dicks. It wasn't worth it."

"It's your career, Fitz," Olivia inhales. "It's always worth it."

"That's not true," I argue. "I have learned that that's never true. It's compromised my relationship with Karen and I know in the future, it would do the same with you and Anna. It's not worth it, Livvy. I'm just sorry it took me this long to realize that."

Livvy is quiet for a second before sighing into the phone. "I hate you, you know that?"

I grin. "You don't hate me."

"Maybe not," Livvy sighs again. "But make no mistake - I am mad. I am pissed. Where are you?

X

When Livvy approaches me, I think she can see that I am visibly upset. Not because I'm mad at her - I just don't want her to be mad at me.

She stops in front of the bench and pushes my chin up with her hand so I'm forced to look at her. "Fitzgerald."

I try a smile. "You look pretty today."

"Nice try," she sighs and takes a seat next to me. "This was important to you. I know this was. How could you be so reckless to throw away an opportunity like this? To be part of the United States Cabinet."

I frown. "I thought you said you didn't care what my career was..."

Livvy turns to face me. "Do not spin the blame on me, Fitz. I said that, thinking you were at least going to try. Going into that room for two minutes and yelling at them does not sound like trying. Before, I didn't care whether you got the job or not, as long as you went in there and showed them the politician I know you are. But you didn't even put in the effort."

"I know that," I sigh. "You think I don't know that?"

She's quiet for a minute before her expression completely changes, now looking horrified. "Fitzgerald, do not tell me that your hearing was compromised because of Savannah or I..."

"Livvy," I sigh, but she turns to face me, looking dead ass serious. "Why are you even here? You have a client."

"I always have a client," Livvy snaps. "Tell me."

"It was stupid," I reach for her hand but she pulls it away. "They were stupid."

"It doesn't matter," Livvy whispers, faced away from me. "I knew that Savannah and I here would affect your job. I just didn't wanna deal with the reality of that actually happening."

"Olivia, stop it," I practically shout. "When I walked into that room, I made a choice. I don't need to be Secretary of Defense. What I need is you, Karen and Savannah. I need us. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"I know you, Fitz," Livvy whispers, finally looking at me. "I know you and I know you wanted this. Even if you try to tell me that if you didn't, I know that there's a part of you that really did."

I look away from her. "Whatever. It's over now. I don't want to talk about it, to think about it. I just want to leave Pennsylvania Avenue. And I want you with me."

"I already told you," Livvy smiles a little bit, reaching for hand. I think she can tell how upset I am. How much I don't wanna talk about this anymore. Knowing Livvy, will eventually have to. "I'm with you, Fitz. You can't get rid of me that easily."

X

"Wow," I watch her eyes gaze over my bedroom. You can barely call it that - it literally only has a mattress on the floor and boxes lined up the wall with two large windows, letting in the late afternoon sunlight. "This is...roomy."

I laugh and flick on the lights. "This is it. I guess Lena didn't think to unpack much when we were in the Blair House."

"No," Livvy drops her Adidas bag onto the mattress and sits on the edge of it. She grins. "Maybe you were just too busy to help her."

"Haha," I roll my eyes, sitting down next to her on the bed.

She turns and puts her arms around my neck. I think she feels guilty for a couple of hours ago when she told me off in front of the Capitol.

But she was right. As usual, Olivia Pope was one hundred percent accurate. I wanted it. I wanted it badly, even if I didn't know it myself. Maybe I didn't want it as much as I wanted time with my daughters and Liv, but I wanted it nevertheless. It's just hard to think that I never had a shot at it anyway.

But it's okay. I mean it when I say it's okay. It sucks because I worked so hard and sacrificed so much. But I'd give it up time after time for Liv and the girls. "Are you still pissed?"

"No," Livvy crosses her legs on the bed. "I just wanted you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted."

"If this is about the money, Livvy..."

"It's not about the money, Fitz," Livvy sighs and from the look on her face, I know she means it. "It was never about the money. You have money and even if you didn't, I do. It will never be about the money. This is about you.

"I am happy," I tell her honestly, wrapping my arms around her waist. "One of my daughters is in her new bedroom and the other one is coming home from school. I have my love right here in front of me. I'm happy. I have never been happier."

Livvy looks up at me and smiled. "Me neither