Jellal

9 months ago…

My body is still aching since I got drunk last night at the party. I can't remember anything after I danced with Erza. I slowly opened my eyes, until I got used to the light. I realized I'm in my bedroom already. Why is it so cold? My head is still a little bit aching. Then, I suddenly realized the reason why I feel cold is because I'm not wearing any clothes, half of my body is just being covered by the blanket. I rose up from lying on the bed and saw Erza lying beside me, also naked. I noticed our clothes scattered on the floor and a blood stain on the bed sheets.

What have I done?

"Erza…Erza…wake up." I said with my voice stuttering as I shake her body softly to wake her. "Erza, wake up." I said hysterically. She moaned as she was awakened. Her pigtails are messy and her side bangs are covering her eyes. She slowly opened her eyes as she stretched her legs. God, she looks so innocent and…cute.

"Jellal…" She says. "Erza, what happened? H-how did this happen?" I asked hysterically. She paused for a moment before speaking. "Well…you're drunk and I drove you here. But you started kissing me and undressing me…" She started. "I-I tried to stop you, but you won't let me go. You even thought that I'm Ultear." She continued. I covered my face with my palm. This can't be happening…

"Oh, Erza…I-I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry…" I sighed. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry for not listening you to stop drinking." I added. She gets up and sat beside me as she wrapped the blanket around her body. "It's okay…I mean, I got carried away too. So, I guess it wasn't your fault." She said and smiled at me.

Why am I so lucky to have a best friend like Erza? Though some people are afraid of her, for me she's a very kind and understanding person. Who says Erza doesn't have a cute side?

"Are you sure…? Aren't you thinking about that you might get pregnant?" I asked for a confirmation. "I don't know." She shrugged. Now, I feel guilty for what I did to my best friend. "I know this is personal, but it's your first time, right?" I asked and she nodded. Oh, shit…

"Did I hurt you?" I asked. She sighed and answered "At first". Oh, God what have I done to her? I am nothing to her I'm just her best friend. It made me feel guilty for doing it to her, knowing that I have no right to do so. I stole her virginity, instead of her future-husband to claim it.

"Look, Erza…if there's anything I could do to make up to you." I said. "Yeah, you have to…" She says in a furious tone. Oh no, I hope she won't punish me the way she punishes importunate students way back in high school when she used to be the Student council President. I hope not.

"…treat me a strawberry cake for one week." She says, giggling at me. "I thought you're gonna make me do something you know I can't." I sighed in relief. God, she's so charming whenever she giggle. Am I the only one who sees the cute and beautiful side of her?

"Sure, why not? Since its Sunday, let's go out later." I said, smiling at her. "You go to the bathroom first." I said as I look away from her body. "Go on, while I'm not looking." I sighed. She just giggled at me. God, giggling maker her cuter! "You've already seen it. So, what's the point of not looking?" She asked. "You even – okay I don't wanna say it." She added. I didn't respond and tried to hide myself from blushing. Even if I can't see my face, I know that I'm blushing because my skin is kind of hot.

"Okay, okay, I'll go now." She says, still not looking and then I just heard the bathroom door opened. And once I heard the bathroom door was slammed by her, I finally looked up. I couldn't stop myself from smiling. I don't why. Is it because it's the first time I blushed because of her cuteness? I wonder what she looks like when we did it last night. I don't know she's an innocent girl, who completely knows nothing about sex.

I get out of the bed and started making the bed. When I lift the pillow, I noticed the blood stain, which is the evidence of her lost virginity. Losing her virginity to me seems to be fine with her? Isn't she feeling awkward that we slept with each other? Well, maybe it's fine with her because I'm her best friend, that I'm not a stranger who took her virginity and slept with her.

I can hear the showers from the bathroom. I'm unconscious that night and I can't even remember anything about having sex with her. I'm just wondering. How does an innocent girl like her looks like during first sex? Me too, how do I look like? I'm woozy and I'm probably spilling out things I never said before, but what about me having sex for the first time and with my own best friend? Now things are starting to feel weird for me. I swear I'll never drink again.

But, drinking last night helped me to forget the pain Ultear gave me for a while. Now, I can feel the pain of our break-up again. Ultear…she broke up with me, telling me she never loved me and she was just forced to say "yes" to me because she pities me if all my efforts for her will be wasted. It's better if she just simply said "no" to me, so I could move on easily, instead of being a fool for almost four years. I was planning to ask her to marry me in our fourth anniversary. I keep asking myself, did I lack effort and love for her for me to deserve this pain?

My thoughts were interrupted when Erza called me as she opens the door a little to peek. "Umm, Jellal…I forgot my bra…can you hand it to me?" She asks, blushing. I picked up her bra on the floor. God, I can't believe I removed this bra from her body. I walked towards to her and handed it to her without looking.

After Erza took a shower, she came out of the bathroom, wearing a white dress and a pair of wedge sandals. Her hair is French-braided. "I thought you're gonna wear your new floral dress." I said. "Well, I want to wear all my plain dresses first." She shrugged. "I guess you'll need a new closet to separate your plain dresses to the printed ones." I said and grabbed the towel on the clothes stand.

"Sorry for filling your house with my clothes." She giggled softly. Before, I often ask Erza if she could sleepover in my house, so I bought her a closet wherein she could put extra clothes.

"I'll just take a shower and we'll have breakfast at Clayton's." I said before going in the bathroom. "My treat, don't worry." I said before going inside the bathroom.

Erza ordered a chocolate chip pancake and a hot chocolate. And me, I just ordered a fried egg and bacon with fried rice and a cup of coffee. I watched Erza eating her pancake, as usual whenever she eats a chocolate chip pancakes she's eating as if she's in heaven already. Wait, till you see her eat a strawberry cake.

"Erza…am I making up to you already?" I asked. "Well…I guess not. Treat me a strawberry cake first." She says and smirks at me. I sighed as I shook my head. "It'll be your dessert after dinner." I said. I wanted to confirm, if is it really okay for her what happened last night. Just a strawberry cake for one week in exchange of her virginity?

"Umm, Erza…" I started. "Hmm?"

"Do you really think treating you a strawberry cake for one week is enough in exchange of your body?" I asked for a confirmation. She paused for moment, probably thinking what to say. "Is there anything you could do? You already claimed me first. What do you think you should do to me?" She says. She's right, what can I do anyway? I already took her first and I can't undo it anymore.

"Just forget about it. For me, I guess it's just fine. You're my best friend anyway. I would be bothered if it was someone I barely knew." She said and forced a smile. "You're right." I sighed in relief. "Don't you want your future-husband or let's say the guy you will love to take you first instead?" I asked. "W-well…" She stuttered. Stuttering, eh? I wonder why. "Maybe it's because I have a different perspective. I feel like i-it's fine because you're my friend anyway." She explained.

"Now, I know." I nodded. My best friend is kind of weird. She's been my best friend since childhood, but during our teenage years I never thought of asking Erza about having sex or her perspectives in her womanhood. "How was I when we're doing it? How do I look like? What did I do to you?" I asked. I'm really bothered of those things last night.

Erza looked up, probably remembering me last night. "Well…yeah, you're drunk and keep saying a lot of things that you've never said before. You seemed to know a lot about sex. I have no idea what are you going to do with me. At first while we're in the bar you kissed me, in the parking you pulled me on top of you and kissed me again, you pinned me on the wall of the elevator, when we reached your bedroom you suddenly pinned me on the bed and started kissing me. I got carried away and keep crying and thinking that I'm Ultear." She keeps retelling what I did to her. I'm such a jerk. I feel like she was just forced to because she wants to please me and make me forget about Ultear for a while.

"What happened next then? Please I'm really curious." I asked. She bites her lip as she blushed, probably reminiscing what I did to her. "Well…you, umm…started kissing me in my lips, tongue, neck, shoulder…you pulled down my blouse and unhooked my bra…" She says as she blushed. "You started touching, massaging my breasts and sucking my nipples…" She continued. I covered my face with my palm as I listened to her. "…then your kisses started going down to my umm…my…to the private part of my body. Then, you removed my undergarments including my blouse…then, you started kissing my – you know and…y-you…inserted your fingers inside me…" She said, blushing in embarrassment. God, I couldn't imagine myself doing it to my best friend. It just feels awkward. Thanks a lot Natsu and Gray for making me watch porn with, which gave me ideas like that!

"Then?" I asked her to continue. "I keep my eyes closed as you keep doing it. Later on, I just heard you unzipping your pants. Then, the next thing I knew that I was shocked when you suddenly…suddenly…slam yourself inside me…" She said. "It hurts at first, but you told me that you'll be gentle…you keep pounding yourself inside me continuously. Until, later on, we're both starting to scream each other's name in pleasure…the next thing I know is that we both fell asleep. But…before you fell asleep…you said 'I love you, Ultear'…"

I couldn't say anything about what I said to her last night. "Erza…look I was drunk from being broken hearted. I didn't mean to say those words at you." I apologized. "It's okay." She smiled at me. "L-let's just keep it as a secret." She said. Oh, yeah I forgot. I can't let Natsu and Gray find out I slept with Erza. They're gonna kill me. They'll think I took advantage of our friendship just to sleep with her.

"Where are we going?" She asked me as we walk towards to the entrance of the department store. "I'll guess I'll treat you a new dress and a pair of shoes." I said. "Really?!" She gasped in excitement. "Let's go, then!" She says and pulled me towards inside the department store.

I followed Erza wherever she wanted to browse some clothes. Ultear isn't a shopaholic like her. So, I'm not used to in accompanying girls in shopping clothes. Based on Natsu, girls can be patient in roaming the whole department store just to find a lot of nice clothes. And at the end of the day, they'll only take 3 garments out of let's say 10 garments they put in their basket. Plus, they still have to fit each garment and as a guy you can't do anything, but to follow the girl. Now I understand how he suffers every weekend every time Lucy shops for new clothes.

I watched Erza browsing different blouses in the clothes rack. Her basket is already full. I wonder how many clothes are in there already. Erza looks at herself with lilac dress she saw, she keeps swaying as she looks at herself at the mirror. I couldn't stop myself from smiling, knowing I'm the only one who often see Erza's childishness and cuteness. She laughed softly as she caught me watching her swaying with the lilac dress.

Wouldn't it be nice and fun to love a girl like Erza, to have a girlfriend like her? Ultear and Erza has a big difference in personality. Ultear is serious all the time, I've dated her for almost four years, but I never see her act childishly and jolly like Erza.

After shopping, Erza and I walked around the mall, looking for a place to eat or hang. I'm the one who carries the three paper-bags which contains the dress, blouse, skirt and pair of doll shoes I bought for her. I'll never have sex with her again.

Ultear, when we're still dating, I also experienced this to her, but seldom and not that bad compared to Erza right now. Well, because we barely hang out. We don't usually go out and eat dinner. I always ask her, but she always says she's busy. I don't even know how our relationship lasted for almost four years like that. Maybe it's because I love her so much, more than anything else.

I bought four tickets for a movie. Erza says she wanted to watch two movies, a horror and after the horror a romance movie, for her to forget the scary images that will be stuck in her mind after watching the horror movie. We'll watch the movie "The Evil Dead" and "500 Days of Summer". I recommended the "Fault in our Stars" to her, but she said we'll just watch it next week, because she says she's not yet ready to cry emotionally inside the cinema with me. Girls…girls…girls…It's a good thing Ultear is not like the other girls or else maybe I'll be the one who'll break up with her.

The Evil Dead will start by two o'clock, so we decided to stay in Starbucks first. She keeps telling storied about her new work as a journalist. She said that she was told to make an article of her own and will be published in the anniversary issue of the Grey magazine. She applied as a financial journalist. Luckily her talent in writing was discovered by the editor-in-chief of the Grey magazine. And I'm happy for my best friend for the opportunity given to her. Now, she could finally use what she learned in Literature way back in college.

In college, I took a Marketing course so I could get qualified in a job easily. I asked Erza before that, will she get qualified in a job easily with her Literature Course, because most of the companies hires people who has knowledge in marketing or enterprising, what about Literature? I heard that some publishing companies are losing its business. Because most books or literary piece can be downloaded in the internet for free.

"Jellal, it's because of my passion. I really don't care if I get qualified, I'd rather look for a job where I can fit in and feel happy. I mean, I don't want to force myself to do something I never wanted to." She said and took a sip from her Mocha Frappe. "Come on, Jellal, you know that. I know how much you wanted to study Architecture or Fine Arts, but your parents insisted you to take a business course." She added.

She's right, I was just forced to take business course. Maybe, she has a point for choosing her own passion. I was too dependent on my parents that time, that I couldn't even make my own choices and decisions after I graduated high school. I feel like I'm not yet ready to be independent. Forcing me to take the course they wanted is when I thought they just want what's best for me. But, maybe Erza is right.

Why is this girl always right?

By two o'clock, the film started. When we reached the middle part of the film, Erza keeps holding my hand and using my hand to cover her eyes. She prevents herself from screaming because the last time we watched a horror film with Natsu and Gray, a lady got mad at them for screaming. My best friend is so cute and childish. The scary and strict Senior President way back in high school is afraid of watching horror movies.

By quarter to four, the movie ended. As the movie rolled credits, Erza immediately pulled me out of the cinema. Says, she wanted to get out of that hell as soon as possible. By four o'clock, the movie 500 days of summer will start. The movie just ended in time.

Erza is kind of weird…why? Earlier, while watching Evil Dead she's almost crying because the image of the devil is scaring her, plus the sound effects sends shivers down to her body. And now, while we're on the middle part of the romance movie, she wanted to cry. I thought 500 Days of Summer is a Romance-Drama, but actually it's kind of a Romance-Comedy.

But there's a scene wherein I kind of relate our friendship.

"We're just fr…"

"No! Don't pull that with me! This is not how you treat your friend! Kissing in the copy room? Holding hands in IKEA? Shower sex? Come on! Friends my balls!"

I also noticed Erza also becomes quiet, unlike earlier she's squeezing my hand to prevent herself from squealing every kissing scene. Nah, why did this scene suddenly bother me? Erza and I just had sex once and it's just because I'm drunk.

After the movie, we decided to have dinner at Steele's. "The image of Mia keeps popping on my mind!" She says and keeps trying to clear off her mind about the horror movie earlier. "I thought watching a romance movie after the horror movie would clear off the scary images on your mind?" I chuckled. "I never thought the ghost or the devil in the movie would really scare me." She sighed.

Even though I spent a lot of money, treating Erza, I'm still thanking her because I was able to forget the pain for a moment. When will I be able to forget Ultear?

"Erza…" I spoke, trying to start a new topic. "Hmm?" She asked. I really love it whenever she asks or respond to a question in that way. Her voice sounds sweet in that way and plus with matching smile. "Thanks for spending the day with me." I said. She nodded and smiled at me. "No problem. But you still owe me a strawberry cake." She says. "Yeah, I know." I nodded as I sighed.

"Uh, Jellal…" She says. "C-can I…stay with you again? Or you can stay with me at my place?" She asked shyly. "Why?" I asked, wondering why. Stay with me at my house or at her house, what if we accidentally do it again?

"I-I'm scared…I need someone who'll wake me up in case I had a dream of the movie." She says. Eh? I laughed at her. My best friend is so silly. "Hey, don't laugh at me!" She says as she bites her lip. If she bites her lip it's either she's gonna cry or annoyed.

"Fine, I'll stay with you, Scaredy-cat." I said, still laughing. A waiter came in our table and served the food we ordered. She ordered a Chinese noodles and me just a bowl of Salad and Mac & Cheese. The waiter served the Strawberry cake. "Yay!" Erza exclaimed happily as the Strawberry cake was finally served.

It's really fun having a best friend like Erza. If only I'm one of her suitors, I'll do everything just to make her say "yes". But the problem is – we can't. We're just friends. I don't want to ruin our friendship by making myself fall in love with her just to forget Ultear. She'll just be a rebound and I don't want to hurt her.

But what if one day I just fell in love with her? No! No! No! That will never happen and I don't want to. Jellal, Stop thinking of this idea of falling in love with her instead just to forget Ultear!