Just wanted to post one more chapter real quick in case it's a few days before I can post the next one. Also, in case anyone was wondering if I was going the Carol-bashing route with this story, I'm not. She's actually one of my favorite characters. Just wanted to make that clear!
Galwidanatitud: She might be just a tad... :)
The moment we reached the farmhouse, Daryl's eyes scanned the group of people scattered outside. When he didn't spot Carol, he made his way straight for the RV.
I stopped and watched him. Our entire journey back he hadn't said anything to me and I was sure he was still irritated about that walker getting the drop on me. Still feeling bitter myself, I made my way into the farmhouse and ran into Sarah as she was folding a pile of laundry.
A large smile crossed her lips when she spotted me.
"I'm so glad you're finally back! You've been gone all day!" She exclaimed. "Neither of you got hurt, right? Didn't run into any trouble?"
I shook my head. "We're fine. Just a few walkers but Daryl took care of them."
Sarah frowned a little. "You seem irritated. What's wrong?"
I let out a deep breath before walking to her side and picking up a shirt and folding it.
"Just frustrated that we didn't find Sophia. Found a house in the forest though. There was a makeshift bed in the pantry that looked like she could have been the one using it. Or, at least, it would have fit someone her size."
Sarah nodded and began folding a pair of jeans. She was quiet for a moment, focused on the pants. Suddenly I felt her eyes on me.
"What?" I asked her, trying to keep the edge out of my voice.
She shrugged. "You seem upset." She set the pants down on the arm of the couch and then shook her head. "No, you look angry actually. What's wrong?"
I could feel my jaw clenching and unclenching in frustration. "It's nothing."
"Sure looks like something."
I refused to respond and instead began folding another shirt which I recognized as Rick's sheriff's uniform. I paused and eyed it curiously. For the entire time I'd known him he hadn't changed out of this uniform.
"Did that Daryl guy say something? Or…do something?" Sarah suddenly asked.
"No," I answered, a little too quickly and forcefully.
She gasped from beside me and dropped the shirt she had been folding. I shot her a glance before picking up the shirt she had dropped.
"What'd he do?" she asked, her tone playful and knowing.
"Nothing happened. He was in a bad mood all day. It was annoying. That's all."
"Uh huh," Sarah's voice said disbelievingly.
I shot her a look and she raised her hands as if in defense before dropping them at her sides.
"You want to bring this laundry to the RV? Told everyone that's where I'd drop off their clothes when they were clean. I can fix us up some dinner real quick and then we can get some sleep. You can share the room with Maggie, Beth, and I. We usually take turns sharing the bed."
I eyed her for a moment, thinking this over. I was planning to sleep outside in my own tent among the group I'd traveled with from Atlanta. I knew them. But after my day with Daryl I wasn't in the mood to be anywhere around him.
"Sure," I told her finally.
"Great! I'll make us some chicken and potatoes," Sarah said excitedly.
My stomach let out a loud growl. Real food.
I picked up the freshly laundered clothing and made my way out of the house and down the porch steps. The RV was still parked out front so it wasn't a far walk. I spotted Dale with a rifle and his binoculars on top.
I was about to open the door when it suddenly swung open in front of me. I stepped back to avoid being run into and noticed it was Daryl who was making his way out of the RV. I felt my lips drop into a frown. He seemed to notice this and shot me a questioning look.
"Just dropping off some laundry," I said in monotone, waiting for him to move out of my way.
He stared at me for a moment. "You got my squirrels still in that pack o' yours?"
I nodded and slipped the bag from off my shoulder, handing it to him with one hand. He opened the part he'd packed them into and I cringed at the smell. At least he'd wrapped them in a shirt so the blood hadn't stained the bag. It would probably smell for a bit though.
I slipped the backpack back onto my shoulder without a word as Daryl continued to stand on the bottom step of the RV, the bloodied shirt with the two dead squirrels cradled in his arm.
After a moment, I gestured to the laundry in my arms. "Do you mind? I kind of would like to drop these off."
Daryl let out a grunt. "The hell's the matter with you?"
"Nothing," I answered him sharply.
Daryl shook his head, mumbling a 'whatever' as he moved out of my way.
I climbed up into the RV and decided to leave the clean clothing on the little kitchen table. No one would miss it there. As I turned to leave, Carol caught my attention.
"Thank you," she said to me.
My eyes darted to the flower in the makeshift vase sitting on the counter by her. I felt jealousy flare up in me until I turned my attention back to Carol. She wiped a stray tear from her face and I immediately felt my frustration ebb away.
"You don't know how much it means to me that you both haven't given up on her," she said to me. She gestured to the flower on the counter. "Thank you for that. Daryl told me how you found it and what it meant."
I opened my mouth, about to say otherwise, but then closed it again. Why would Daryl tell her the flower was from me and not him?
I nodded mutely and watched as Carol shot me a smile before sorting through the pile of laundry. Quickly, I turned and exited the RV feeling rather uncomfortable. My anger and jealousy had officially dissipated into just a feeling of confusion.
Carol had no idea the sweet gesture had actually come from Daryl. So that meant…it hadn't meant anything more than a friendly gesture. Something to give her comfort and hope. He hadn't done it for any other reason.
I shook my head furiously.
Stop. Stop overanalyzing that damn flower. I don't like Daryl like that.
I paused, my eyes widening at the thought. My mouth dropped open and I stood staring at the ground in disbelief.
No. No no no no no no. I can't! That's absurd. That isn't it.
"Are you okay?"
I jumped and let out a slight yelp. I turned and saw Andrea staring at me with a look of concern on her face.
"I'm fine, I'm totally fine," I said in a rush, a blush creeping up onto my face.
She eyed me disbelievingly.
"I was just dropping off the laundry," I said, awkwardly pointing at the RV.
She nodded her head slowly, her eyes still fixed on me. "You sure you're alright?"
"Yeah," I answered her, my voice tight.
Before she could ask any further questions, I darted off into the farmhouse and tried to clear my head.
I do not like Daryl Dixon.
"Thought that was you!" Sarah said, her head poking around the kitchen doorway. "Help me with dinner? Uncle Hershel, Maggie and Beth should be in soon."
I nodded, though I felt guilty that I was being included in on such a good meal while the others of our group were left with the provisions we had found. Though Hershel had told them he didn't have the food to be providing meals for everyone, I still felt guilty.
Beth and Maggie had offered Sarah and I the bed to sleep in tonight. It wasn't very big, only a full sized bed, just smaller than a queen, but we both fit onto it. I spent the majority of the night tossing and turning though, unable to sleep. I wasn't entirely sure what time I'd finally given up on sleep when I had gotten out of bed, but everyone else was fast asleep.
I snuck out of the bed and out of the room, past the room Hershel was asleep in and past the room next to it where Carl still lay in bed. Rick was asleep in a chair but Lori was nowhere to be seen. I frowned slightly before trying to sneak down the steps as soundlessly as possible. I made it out the front door and felt a chill run over me as I stood on the porch. It was colder at night now, not significantly, but enough to make us aware that the seasons were changing. Summer was almost over.
I hugged my arms over my chest as I felt the goosebumps rise and made my way down the steps. Glenn was sitting atop the RV now, having taken over Dale's place at some point. Not wanting to be stopped, I snuck along the back and gave the RV a wide berth. Glenn would probably still spot me with his binoculars, but I was confident he wouldn't be yelling after me and waking everyone up.
I made my way out towards the fence and sat down in the grass, hugging my knees to my chest. For a few minutes I stared out at the trees in the distance, wondering where Sophia was right now. Eventually my gaze turned up to the night sky. It was a clear night, no clouds in sight, allowing me to see all of the stars along with the moon. The simple act of stargazing felt oddly familiar to me and I wondered if it was something I used to do often.
Smiling at the twinkling lights, I laid back, placing an arm behind my head and stretching my legs out. I could hear crickets chirping in the distance.
I wasn't sure how long I had been lying on the grass staring at the sky before I'd heard the soft footsteps. I assumed it was Sarah, having realized I wasn't asleep and gone looking for me. The figure sat down beside me a couple of feet away. I turned my head and saw it wasn't my sister, but Daryl instead. He was looking up at the sky where I had been staring.
A blush crept across my cheeks when I thought about earlier, and I fought hard to keep it from showing. I didn't want to believe I had started forming feelings for him, but with the way I seemed to react to him lately, I was having trouble believing I didn't.
Wordlessly, I turned my head back to its original position and continued stargazing. My right arm beneath my head felt like it was starting to fall asleep under the weight, though.
After awhile I could feel his eyes on me, but I stubbornly refused to be the one to speak first. He was the one who'd came over to me. If he wanted to talk, he could start the conversation.
Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw him awkwardly scratch at the back of his neck. A grin crossed my lips.
"Why're you up so late?" he suddenly asked.
"I could ask you the same thing," I said.
I could see his hands fidgeting in his lap from the corner of my eyes.
"Can't get much sleep lately," his gruff voice replied.
"Same," was all I responded with.
Silence fell between the two of us again. I thought I heard an owl in the distance.
Daryl let out a deep exhale beside me before he turned to face me fully. "Sorry about yellin' at you today. Just…when I saw that walker pinning you down…"
I turned my head back in his direction and saw him shake his head at me.
"Was just afraid it'd already bitten you," he finished, though it didn't sound like what he was wanting to say.
"You were right though," I admitted. "I was being stupid. I should have checked the room better. I should have paid more attention."
Another silence fell between us and my mind wandered back to the Cherokee rose Daryl had given to Carol. My brows knitted up in confusion at what she had told me about Daryl saying the flower was from me.
"Why'd you lie to Carol?" I suddenly asked him, curious. "About the flower?"
The moonlight lit him up as he shrugged. "Just wanted to give her hope. Didn't need her gettin' the wrong idea or nothin'."
I bit back the smile of relief knowing that Daryl wasn't interested in Carol like that. Even though I told myself that I didn't care who Daryl liked or didn't like.
How very grown up of you, I thought sarcastically to myself.
"You still mad at me?" he asked. He sounded a little nervous.
My eyes caught his through the darkness. There was a sense of vulnerability about him as he sat there waiting for my answer. That threw me off for a moment.
"No," I finally told him. "It was just the heat," I lied. "Maybe a little dehydration and hunger mixed in, that's all."
"Still have part of a squirrel left, if you're hungry," Daryl offered.
I was taken by surprise at his offer before I quickly shook my head. Feeling guilty about the dinner I'd had with my sister and the Greene's, I told him I wasn't hungry.
He just nodded slowly in response before looking back up at the stars himself.
"I don't know if I can stay sleeping in that house," I admitted after a few minutes of silence.
"Always preferred the outdoors myself," Daryl agreed. He turned his attention to me as he asked, "You think your sister is going to like it if you sleep out in a tent with everyone else?"
I shook my head, a knowing smile on my face. "No. I'm pretty sure she won't. But I just don't feel comfortable sleeping in there."
"You should probably head back and get some sleep though," Daryl suggested. "Days are harder to get through when you're tired."
I let out a long sigh. "Yeah, I suppose I probably should."
I sat up and turned my attention onto Daryl one more time. Since he had turned to face me, he was suddenly closer to me. I could even feel some of the warmth from him. I had been about to say something, I knew that, but for some reason I'd forgotten it when I'd realized our close proximity.
I noticed he was staring at me as well, but in the darkness I couldn't make out the expression on his face at all.
"What?" his rough voice asked me quietly.
Startled, I realized I'd been staring at him for awhile. This time a blush did make its way onto my face and I quickly stood up.
"Sorry," I said, my tone a little anxious, "I think I kind of spaced out a moment there. I should probably get to sleep before I pass out in the grass." I let out a nervous laugh.
When he stood up, the moonlight shone on his face and I could see the questioning look there.
"I'm just going to stretch my legs and head back to bed," I told Daryl.
Truthfully I just needed a few minutes to get my head on straight and stop acting like a thirteen year old girl.
He emitted a grunt in response and nodded his head before turning and heading towards a lone tent, farther away from everyone else's. I frowned as I glanced back and forth between the farmhouse surrounded by tents and Daryl's tent surrounded by a few trees and plenty of distance.
I shook my head, deciding that I would not think about Daryl Dixon for the rest of the night, as I turned and took a stroll around the perimeter of the house. I crossed my arms over my chest to try to keep myself warm as I reached the back of the house, but I was starting to get cold. Deciding that getting sick would be a bad idea, I turned around and was about to retrace my steps until a sound caught my attention. It was muffled and it was coming from not too far away.
I tried to listen harder. It wasn't a bird or the sound of crickets. As my eyes scanned the property, it stopped on a figure partially crumpled over. I could just make out long, dark hair. My mind darted back to the room with Rick and Carl. Lori had been missing.
Afraid something had happened, I ran in her direction. The closer I got the more I realized the sound was of her crying. I realized she was holding something in her hands that seemed to be the cause of her upset when I reached her.
"Lori?" I called out to her softly.
Her sobs immediately stopped and she stood up abruptly, a deer-in-the-headlights look adorning her face. There were tear stains down her cheeks and her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Her nose was a little red too.
Quickly she wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her too large shirt.
"Isabell," she said. "What are you doing out here?"
I tried to see what she was holding onto when I answered her. "I couldn't sleep. Came outside to clear my head a bit. What's going on?"
She shook her head, her eyes looking as if they would tear up again.
"Hey," I told her, placing a hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "You can tell me, it's alright."
She seemed to be struggling internally with the decision to tell me what was going on or not. She stared down at her right fist that was trying to hide something. My eyes widened when moonlight glinted off a piece of the object. I immediately recognized it.
"You're…?" I began but was unable to finish the question.
A pained expression was on her face as she nodded. "But please don't say anything to Rick. He can't know."
"Why?" I asked her softly.
"I don't think I can keep it," she answered, her voice just as soft.
I felt my heart ache for the woman in front of me. Being pregnant at a time like this? It'd be hard enough to find a way to keep her and a baby well fed, let alone when she was further into the pregnancy she wouldn't be able to do much fighting if we were surrounded by a herd of walkers. Not to mention there were numerous things that could go wrong during childbirth. But still. Didn't Rick deserve to know?
I bit my lip. I didn't want to have to keep this secret, especially from Rick, but it wasn't exactly mine to share.
"I won't say anything," I assured her, to which she immediately relaxed, "but I think Rick deserves to know he might have another child."
Lori's eyes welled up with tears and they quickly began rolling down her cheeks again. "I don't think it's his…"
I stared at her for a moment as things began falling into place. Her relationship with Shane seemed to progressively get worse and worse ever since Rick and I had joined the group. It had been Shane who'd saved her and Carl when everything had happened. He had been the one looking out after his friend's family for months before he even showed up.
"Oh, Lori," I said, pulling the weeping woman into a hug.
She cried into my shoulder for a bit before she finally pulled back, trying to regain her composure.
"I don't think I can tell him," Lori admitted to me.
"It's not my place to tell anyone anything," I assured her, "but I think you should tell Rick. He's your husband and he loves you. He'll understand. I think this is something you need to figure out together."
Lori's gaze fell to the pregnancy test in her hands. "I don't know what to do with this."
I thought for a moment before reaching down and pulling the knife from its permanent place at my side. I had grabbed it before I'd left the farmhouse, just in case anything happened. Kneeling down, I used the knife to dig a shallow hole big enough to fit the test into. When she caught on to what I was doing, she dropped it in and helped me pack it in with dirt. She sent me a grateful smile afterwards.
"It'll be okay," I said, trying to reassure her. "But come on, let's get you back up to Rick and Carl. You should get some sleep."
"Thank you," Lori said appreciatively. "Really."
I shrugged. "We're supposed to look out for each other, right?"
She nodded before turning and letting me lead her back to the front porch and into the house. I followed her up the stairs and she paused outside the door, Rick and Carl still fast asleep inside the room. She touched a gentle hand onto my shoulder and said, "I'm really glad you're here with all of us," before she turned into the room and partially shut the door behind her.
Suddenly realizing just how exhausted I was, I made my way back to the room I had been in with my sister and two cousins. No one looked like they had moved since I'd left.
I made my way to the bed and took my knife from off of my belt and placed it on the nightstand. I crawled into the bed beside Sarah and rolled on my side, facing away from everyone. I couldn't really get comfortable in this room full of people that still seemed like strangers. I felt better when I'd been outside and I told myself I'd have to set up my tent tomorrow. Soon after, I finally managed to drift off to sleep.
