Erza

9 months ago…

Jellal easily fell asleep because he's too tired of following me shopping all day. Here I am watching him sleeping and snoring. We're facing each other while lying on the bed. I cupped his face with my hand as I stare at him. I'm here at his condo again. The movie kind of scared me, but not that much. I just told him I want him to stay with him because I'm scared to sleep alone in my condo. I just said that, but the truth is that I missed him so much and I just want to see and be with him every day, now that Ultear is gone in his life. Well, Ultear is gone in his life literally, but not yet in his heart.

Jellal, why do I love you so much? I love you so much that I couldn't even open my heart to another man who's willing to love me. Why am I so stupid, assuming that there's still a chance for you to love me back? Why am I willing to do and give everything for you to love me back? I'm not desperate. I just can't fall out of love from you. Why do you mean so much to me?

I wonder when will I experience receiving flowers and chocolates during a date, taken out for a dinner, hang out and be kissed in a romantic way. I received flowers once from Jellal during our Prom, but he just did it because I dared him. Sometimes I was thinking, if I say "yes" to one of my suitor way back in high school, will I be here stuck in the friend zone and keep wishing to replace Ultear in his heart?

"Hey!" I was awakened from my thoughts when Jellal spoke. I gasped as I was shocked as he caught me staring at him and cupping his cheek while he's asleep. I quickly removed my hand from his cheek. "What the hell are you doing?" He asked, wondering. I bite my lip as I looked away from him. "Oh...I get it." He chuckled. "You can't sleep because you're afraid! And you keep staring at my handsome face for you to forget the scary image of the devil." He laughed at me.

I flipped my body on the opposite side of the bed to turn my back on Jellal. "Look, she's annoyed!" He keeps laughing at me. As I turn my back on him, I laughed a little but I hide it from him. "If you don't answer in five seconds that means you're really annoyed. Silence means 'yes'!" He laughed at me. "Silence doesn't mean 'yes' all the time. Sometimes you just have to keep your mouth shut to those people who doesn't make sense." I said.

I felt his arms crawled around my waist. "Hey, I'm just kidding." He says as he stopped laughing. He placed his chin on my shoulder as he hugs me from behind. "Come on, let's just sleep." He says. I sighed as I shook my head.

Who wouldn't fall in love with a guy like him? Ultear is so stupid for letting him go. Would I be a flirt if I take the chance to make him fall in love with me? Taking their break-up as a chance to make him fall in love with me, will it make me a flirt? I hope not. It's not that I'm desperate to win his heart. I just want him to be with someone who'll never hurt him like this. I know myself that I can do it, but the question is…will he let me?

Jellal drove me to my condo unit before he goes to his work. I need to get my ID and paper works before I go to work. As I enter my bedroom, the first thing I always notice is the top of my dresser where pictures of me and Jellal are displayed. I don't know why every time I see it, I can't stop myself from smiling. I walked towards to my dresser to get my folder that contains my paper works. As I opened the first drawer, I pulled out the white folder and brown envelope causing my scrapbook to be revealed. That scrapbook…I placed my folder and brown envelope on top of the dresser so I can get the scrapbook.

I flipped the scrapbook on the second page. I spotted my first picture with Jellal when we were kids. I'm nine years-old that time and Jellal was ten and a half years-old. We're in the playground with Mrs. Mills, my nanny, that time. I flipped the next pages and I stopped in a page wherein our picture during our first step in the bar is pasted and as we celebrate the 6th year of our friendship. We faked an ID so we can enter the bar.

"Why the hell are we here in the bar instead of drinking coffee jelly and eating strawberry cake?" He asked. "Because you're mom told me to help you get a girlfriend!" I said, laughing. "Your dad also wants to make sure you're straight!" I continued as I keep laughing.

I'm not yet in love with him that time, that's why I'm even helping him to find a girlfriend.

"What? Mom?! How many times do I have to tell her that I'm not gay!" He exclaimed and I keep laughing at him. "They just want to make sure. And besides if you're really not gay, tell me about your secret crushes before or now." I said.

"Crush?! I don't have one-!" He scoffs. "See! Who wouldn't doubt you being gay?!" I cut his sentence as I teased him. "Prove it…see that girl on the bar." I said pointing at the girl with a long dark purple hair. "Flirt with her. Show me the playboy side of yours." I dared him.

"H-how…?" He asked. "See?! How can a 17 year-old boy don't have any idea on flirting with girls?" I teased him. "Alright, fine! Just stop calling me 'gay'!" He shuts me up as he stood up and walked towards to the girl.

The girl with the long dark purple hair is actually Ultear. It's a small world because Jellal and Ultear happened to be studying in the same school during college. So, I guess I have participation on how Jellal fell in love with her.

Our table is just near the bar, so I can see Jellal's facial expression as he simply sits beside Ultear. Jellal winked at me and faced Ultear. "How can a lovely lady like you be alone in this kind of place?" He says in a flirting manner. Though the place is filled with loud music and screams of people who are drunk in the dance floor, I can still hear him. Ultear is drunk that time, so she wasn't actually in a good mood.

You can see how woozy and unconscious she is. "I know boys like you-! Like…Zeref! Rustyrose-! Ren! You are all the same!" She blurted while having hiccups. Poor girl…probably dumped by some playboys. "Well, I'm not like them." Jellal said. "Oh yeah…you guys will pretend to comfort me and make me fall in love with you. And when I already fall for you, you're going to leave me like that. Boys! Boys! Boys!" Ultear cried and then laugh, then she'll cry again.

Jellal suddenly looked back at me when Ultear is not looking, mouthing "What will I do?" to me. I shrugged my shoulders at him, saying that it's all up to him. He looks back at Ultear who keeps drinking her wine. "Y-you know…I think…I should be going…I'd rather study for the finals than fall for another guy like you!" She laughed hysterically as she stands from the bar chair. "Well, let me accompany you." Jellal said. Jellal helping girls is a normal thing for him to do because he's a true gentleman.

"Let go of me!" Ultear yelled as she struggled from Jellal. "I-know guys like you!" She says and then walks away from Jellal. "Good luck in driving home, by the way!" Jellal yelled at her as he watches her walking away.

Jellal goes back to our table. "Girls are really complicated and difficult to handle!" He says, annoyed. "No, it's just because you don't like girls literally…meaning to say…" I said, teasing him as I smirk at him. "Erza, no! I-I'm not what you're thinking!" He stuttered. "Are you sure?" I asked as I chuckled, confusing him. He paused for moment, thinking what he really is. "No, Erza, I-i-I can't! Dad will kill me! Natsu, Gray, Gajeel, Simon, Wally, Sho, Lucy, Cana, all of them! They'll bully me!" He freaked out as he buried his face on his palm.

"Prove me wrong, then." I smirked at him. "All right, fine!" He sighed. "Simon haven't asked you on the Prom, right?" He asked. "Yeah." I nodded. "If that's the case, then…" He says and then he started to stand from his chair. He knelt in front of me and took my right hand. "Erza Scarlet…my best friend…will you be my date in the Prom?" He asked in a romantic manner. I giggled softly as I thought of a response to his question. "How can I resist? Of course, yes!" I answered.

"Let me prove the romantic side of me." Jellal say confidently as he goes back to his seat. "I dare you, Mr. Fernandes…" I hissed. "But don't worry, even if you failed to do so…I still accept the real you." I said and laughed at him. "Quit teasing me!" He growled, annoyed. "Okay, fine…I expect to see your so-called romantic side of yours next week during the Prom." I said to calm him from being annoyed. "Happy 6th anniversary, Jellal!" I giggled as I pinched his cheeks with my fingers.

As the flashback ended in my mind, I realized I stopped in the page where my picture with him is pasted. One of the memorable events or moments with him is during the Prom.

"Mrs. Mills, I have to go already!" I said, panicking for being late for the Prom, as I ran downstairs. "Erza, watch your steps! Your skirt is too heavy and big." Mrs. Mills warned. I keep running downstairs while lifting the skirt of my gown so I won't step at it. "Erza, I'm not yet done with your hair!" Mrs. Mills says as she chased me while I'm running downstairs.

As I reached the last ten steps of our long staircase, I was surprised and stunned to see a blue-haired man in our living room. It was none other than Jellal. He turned around to see me and guess what? He's holding a bouquet of flowers. I suddenly paused for a moment. "There you are! You still have thirty minutes for me to finish your hair-" I can hear Mrs. Mills as she follows me downstairs and stopped speaking as she saw Jellal. "Jellal…" Mrs. Mills stuttered as she was surprised to see a new Jellal.

Jellal is wearing a black suit with a tie. His outfit is just a simple formal outfit, but his aura and expression is different. "Good evening, Mrs. Mills. I'm just here to see if my date is ready." He says in a polite, yet in a romantic manner like when a boy is greeting the girl's parents. "Good evening, Erza." He says. "H-hey…" I greeted him, still stunned to see him. "You look beautiful tonight. Your gown looks perfect at you." He says as he looks at my strapless violet gown up to my face. As I met his gaze I couldn't stop myself from blushing.

"Erza is always beautiful. Now if you excuse us, I'm not yet done with her hair." Mrs. Mills said as she guided me to go back upstairs. As I turned around to go back upstairs, I met Jellal's gaze and he suddenly winked at me. I smiled at him before I completely go upstairs.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling as those moments with my best friend flashed back in my mind.

"E-erza…I can't dance." He said while we're standing in the middle of the other couples who are dancing. "Me too. Let's just follow the rhythm." I said as I guided him in moving his foot. He followed my movements as I follow the rhythm of the music. "Umm, thanks for the flowers and the ride." I said. "No problem." He said as he keeps following my movements.

"You look beautiful in that gown." He said. I kind of blushed because I'm not used receiving compliments from him. "Thanks." I said. "You too, you look different. Or is it because of my dare?" I added. "I guess so." He says as he chuckled softly.

We continued dancing until midnight. Then I was surprised when it was announced that I was the Prom Queen. Jellal almost got the Prom King award, but Gray received more votes because of the big change he showed, like acting formally, gracefully and romantically towards to Juvia. Based on our other classmates many voted for me because I agreed to dance with my own best friend and because I look very different and beautiful. Jellal also got many votes, but the problem is that the others noticed he doesn't know how to dance which kind of disappointed them. But Jellal says that Gray deserves the award because he didn't just do it for a dare, like my dare to him to prove he's not a gay.

I suddenly remembered that during our Prom, that was the time when I'm starting to have weird feelings towards Jellal. Like blushing and stuttering whenever he's with me or he gives compliments. During my 18th birthday, Natsu, Gray, Gajeel, Sho, Simon, Wally, Loke, Freed, Laxus, Bickslow are one of the 18 roses, while Jellal is my escort. Jellal took me in the garden that time for a moment for us to talk. Then, before we head back to the party, I was stunned when Jellal kissed my forehead. I couldn't explain my feelings that time. I just realized that I fell in love with my best friend.

I flipped the next pages and I spotted our picture during our graduation and during my 18th birthday. Jellal became the Valedictorian of our batch, weird isn't it? Would you believe a happy-go-lucky guy like him will be the Valedictorian? I'm only one of the honor students. I think Jellal also deserves his award because he really changed when he reached senior year.

This scrapbook that contains messages and pictures with Jellal is a little secret of mine. I started making this when I'm twelve and I'm planning to give this to him in our 15th friendship anniversary. I just wanted to see how long our friendship will last, and here we are, only one year to go and I'm going to give this to him already. I hope our friendship will never change…

"Lucy, stop it!" Cana squealed while laughing out loud. Cana keeps rolling over the bed as Lucy keeps tickling her. "Don't even dare to drink later or I'll tickle you to death." Lucy laughed as she keeps tickling Cana.

"Mira, here I come!" Juvia squealed as she chased Mirajane around Lucy's bedroom, playing pillow fight. The white-haired girl tripped over the floor as she tried to jump over the bed. Juvia got the chance to hit her with the pillow. "Take this!" Juvia laughed as she keeps hitting Mirajane with her pillow.

Then, there's me on the balcony, leaning on the barricade while talking on the phone. "Hey, Jellal…"

Jellal was with Natsu, Gray, Freed, Gajeel and Loke, having fun with each other while drinking beers. "Hey, Erza Scarlet…" He speaks on the phone while leaning on the railings of the rooftop.

"What's up?" I asked, smiling.

"Nothing I just missed your voice." Jellal says in a sweet tone.

"Don't be silly." I scoffed as I blushed like a tomato. He can't see me blushing anyway.

"What are you doing in there?" He asked.

"Talking to you, instead of having fun with the girls…"

"Is that so? Did I disturb you?" He asked as he laughed softly.

"It's fine as long as it's you." I sighed, still smiling.

"See you tomorrow, then…" He said as if he's trying to say goodbye on the phone already.

I laughed as I looked up the rooftop and saw him leaning on the railings. "Don't be silly, I can see you right now. And I can go up there anytime." I giggled softly. He looked down at me here at the balcony of Lucy's bedroom. He waved at me and I smiled again.

"Well, talk to you later or maybe tomorrow." He said.

"Bye…"

"Bye, Erza Scarlet…" He said and ended the call. I slid my phone back to my pocket as he ended the call. I saw Jellal walked away from the railings of the rooftop. He probably went back to the boys.

I was interrupted in daydreaming about him, when Mirajane throws a pillow on me. "Hey!" I exclaimed as her pillow. "Erza, what are you doing there? Come on!" Mirajane called. I went back inside to join them. I grabbed a pillow and joined them in their pillow fight. "Bring it on!" I squealed as I hit them with my pillow. We keep hitting each other with our pillows. "Erza! Don't destroy my bedroom!" Lucy freaked out as I throw pillows wherever they go. "Kyaaa!" Juvia squealed as she keeps running away from Erza.

After pillow fighting, we started eating the pizza they ordered, chips and sodas. By this time, we're just hanging in Lucy's bedroom, chatting and telling secrets. Lucy keeps asking if Juvia made out with Gray already, but Juvia keeps denying it. Mirajane and Lucy keep stopping Cana from drinking too much alcohol again. And me, I keep asking Levy how's life with Gajeel.

"Hey, Erza, can you take these beers up to the boys?" Mirajane asked. "Waah-! Cana, don't puke in front of me!" Mirajane exclaimed as she saw Cana was about to throw up in front of her. "Sure." I nodded. I wanted to see what the boys are doing and Jellal. I carried the case of beer and headed upstairs. As I stepped out of the door, I can hear Cana puking already. "Cana, what the fuck!?" Lucy and Mirajane exclaimed as Cana keeps puking. I shook my head as I laughed softly. Then I headed upstairs as I carry the case of beer for the boys.

I'm still on the staircase and yet I can hear the boys' laughter and voices. When I reached the door, I stopped for moment and try to eavesdrop and see what the boys are doing. I can see them through the small glass window of the door.

"Tell me Gray…how old is Juvia when you stole her virginity?" Natsu asked as he keeps laughing as he can see Gray annoyed.

"We're not yet doing it!" Gray denied. Oh, that issue between him and Juvia, I think they already did it. How can Juvia resist Gray? But on the other hand, Gray respects Juvia and patient to wait when she is ready. So, maybe Gray is right.

"I love her and I respect her. She may be in love with me ever since high school, but I know that she's not yet ready for that kind of thing even though I'm irresistible to her." Gray explained.

"Is that so?!" Gajeel blurted. "How about you Natsu…I'm sure you already dragged Lucy to bed." Gajeel asked with a smirk on his face.

"Waaaah! Well-! We…yes." Natsu confessed. Lucy is not a virgin anymore? So, I'm not alone.

"I KNEW IT!" Gray burst out laughing. "I'm going to tell Lucy you told us about it!" Gray threatened him as he keeps laughing.

"Don't you dare-!" Natsu exclaimed. "Why are you scared of her?" Gray asked, in a sarcastic tone.

It's really fun being friends with them. Though I always scold them for fighting often, I love them. But still being friends with Jellal is different. Our friendship is different compared to our friendship with the others. We treat each other in a special way. I don't know how it started, maybe it's because we grew up with each other and we almost treated each other like siblings. But what I never expected is…I'll fall in love with him.

"Hey, Jellal!" Natsu yelled, getting his attention. "What!? You're gonna interrogate me too?" Jellal asked sarcastically.

"Have you slept with Ultear or with anyone else already?" Natsu asked, muffling his giggle. Oh no…he slept with me. Jellal, don't tell them…

"W-well…uh…I…not yet! Ultear, well we made out, French kissed, torrid kiss, but we didn't – you know!" Jellal stuttered. "What about doing it with other woman? Haven't you experienced being drunk one night and the next day, you just woke up and found yourself naked with someone?" Gajeel asked.

Oh god, Jellal please don't spill it out. I hope the alcohol is not yet taking effect on his mind.

"No! Not yet – I mean that will never happen!" Jellal lied. Oh, thank god.

"Oh, Natsu, remember when you slept with your ex-girlfriend Lisanna way back in high school?" Gajeel blurted. "You were so drunk that time and you accidentally slept with her. Elfman almost killed you that time. He thought of Lisanna having the possibility of getting pregnant because of you!" He continued as he keeps laughing. Gajeel must have been affected by the alcohol already. He sounds different.

"I remember it…" Natsu groaned and drank the beer straightly. "But you know…Lisanna and I used to be best friends…but one day she confessed that she's in love with me. She's been my best friend since childhood, so I thought I love her too. Then, I met Lucy…" Natsu says seriously, probably going to retell his crazy love story with Lisanna and Lucy way back in high school. All of them became quiet and listened to him seriously.

"I thought Lucy and I will just remain friends, but then…as time passes by Lucy became an important person in my life. Until one day I realized I'm falling for her. I didn't want to tell Lisanna because it'll hurt her and Elfman will kill me. So, I decided to just drink with you guys. To release everything I kept inside me. But I never thought drinking would cause me to be drunk and slept with Lisanna accidentally. Then a few days after we slept with each other, she told me she knew about my true feelings for Lucy." He continued.

"How did she found it out, by the way? I can't remember." Gray asked. "Well, because when I was drunk she told me that I keep saying Lucy's name." Natsu answered.

That's what happened to Jellal while we're doing it.

"That's why don't drink too much! You'll be able to spill out some things you've keep inside you accidentally. And…you might sleep with someone accidentally!" Natsu laughed breaking the silence and opened another bottle of beer. "You just said not to drink too much!" Gray scoffed as he saw Natsu opening another bottle of beer.

"What about you, Jellal?! Any chances of falling in love with Erza or…sleep with her accidentally?!" Gajeel asked as he patted Jellal's back. "What!? Me and Erza? That will never happen!" Jellal laughed sarcastically. "Are you sure? What if you fell in love with her or…what if you don't know she's in love with you? There are cases like that! Are you in love with her anyway or have you fell in love with her before?" Gajeel asked, trying to assure he's sure of what he answered.

My heart started beating faster as I felt nervous of what Jellal might answer.

"Erza…she's been my best friend. She's like a sister and a family to me. We grew up with each other. We've been with each other during happiness and hardships." He started. "But that doesn't mean I'll fall in love with her. I love her…but as a best friend. Like my sister and family. I don't think so. Yeah, I used to have a crush on her way back in high school, but that doesn't conclude I have feelings for her. We're…just friends, really. And I don't think she'll have feelings for me. Her standard for a guy is high." He explained.

I bite my lip as I ease with the pain that suddenly occurred in my chest. As if something hard hits my chest. It's okay Erza… Please don't cry. Not now…

I knocked on the door and opened it. I placed the case of beer on the floor. "Mirajane wants to give these to you." I said as I placed the case of beer on the floor. "Yes!" Natsu exclaimed. I can see Gajeel and Jellal exchanged looks. Oh, it only means one thing…they must be startled when I suddenly entered and probably nervous if I heard what they're talking about. "Hey, Erza…" Jellal greeted me. "Hey." I greeted him back and faked a smile to hide what I felt of what I heard. "I'll go back, then." I said and walked out.

As I started walking away from them, I can still hear some of their conversations. "…you think she heard us?" Gajeel asked. "Why are you nervous? I didn't say anything bad about her…" I heard Jellal's voice. But I just ignored them and started running back to Lucy's bedroom downstairs.

If he doesn't love me…then, I will make him fall for me. I don't care if it makes me a flirt for taking advantage of their break-up. I wanted to do this because I want him to be with the girl who'll never hurt him. And that's me! I know myself I won't hurt him intentionally. I'm willing to do everything just to make him realize that it was me who was really meant for him. I'm willing to face the pain if ever he rejected me.

But making him realize my love for him…is like risking our friendship for the sake of my feelings. If he rejected me, our friendship will never ever be the same again. I can accept the pain of his rejection, but ruining our friendship…I don't think I can bear with its pain.

I don't know what to do…Why can't he just love me back? I know myself I deserve him more than Ultear. What does Ultear have that I don't have? Most people said I'm almost perfect, but why can't Jellal see it? I never wanted to fall in love with him.