Author's note: Thanks for posting reviews and following my story. Especially to Mikasa-chan who often post reviews in this story of mine. Most of the time if I saw a lot of reviews, I'm encouraged to update chapters quick. Sorry for some typos, grammatical errors. I'm not good writing, but I'm trying to improve. Oh, to those people who like Ultear, I'm sorry for making her a bitch in this story XD I regret making a favorite character of mine the antagonist. I should have made it Minerva, instead of Ultear.
By the way, there's a lemon in this chapter and in some of the next chapters. I'm not good in narrating actually. I narrate actions direct to the point. But I'm trying to improve my writing.
Please leave some reviews after reading, btw!
Jellal
9 months ago…
Three weeks have passed by since we slept with each other and yet I couldn't get that moment off my head. I can't really remember how we did it that time, maybe that's why it keeps bothering me. I just can't really believe I'm the first guy who touched Erza. Me her best friend is the first one to touch her. Way back in high school, a lot of guys wanted to date her and some wanted to take her on bed, but Erza rejected them all. But me…am I lucky to be the first guy who touched her? She didn't even hate me nor feel awkward about it.
Here I am, standing beside the fitting room for the ladies, waiting for Erza to come out after fitting thousands of dresses. We've been here in the mall since ten in the morning. It's already seven o'clock in the evening and yet she hasn't picked one and I'm going to die from starvation already. I don't know why she's excited for the Alumni homecoming of Fairy High. The homecoming is still in two weeks. Does she still need to shop for a new dress, when she has a lot of dresses in her house and in my house?
"You must be bored already." A heard a voice of a woman. I looked beside to see who spoke. "Here, have a seat. You must be tired waiting for your girlfriend." A saleslady offered me a stool. "Gee, thanks." I thanked her. "What?! No, she's not my girlfriend!" I exclaimed. "Oh, come on don't be shy. If you're not her boyfriend, perhaps you're her suitor." The lady chuckled softly. "You wouldn't be so patient for her if she's just a friend." She added. "No, I-I swear we're not. We're just friends. She's my best friend since umm – we're kids." I explained. "Well, if that's the case, you take care of her. Guard her from bad boys out there. And…don't take for granted your friendship with her. Don't lose her." She said.
Eh? What's with her?
"I will..." I just nodded. "Oh, I gotta go. Remember what I told you." She said before walking away, heading to the other customers.
Take for granted our friendship? Like, to take advantage of our friendship? 'Don't lose her'? How and why will I lose her? We've been friends for almost fifteen years and nothing broke us apart. What the hell does she mean? Nah, never mind!
Ten minutes later, Erza finally came out of the fitting room. "Jellal!" She called me. I looked at her. She's wearing a pink dress. The straps of the dress are tied around her neck and its neckline is low, so her cleavage can be seen. "How do I look?" She asked as she keeps swaying the skirt of the dress. I say she's pretty, hot and sexy in that dress. Why does it that lady's words keep bothering me? Take for granted of our friendship? Does she meant to say to hurt her one day by taking for granted our friendship? I can't imagine doing it. Look at her, she's so beautiful and charming inside and out. She has a beautiful smile. I can't imagine that smile of hers will fade away one day just because I hurt her.
"Hey, Jellal!" She called me back to earth as she waved her hand on my face. "You there?" She asked. "Oh, right, yes you look…beautiful." I said as I stared at her for a few seconds. I saw her blush as I told her she was beautiful. "R-really? T-thanks…" She stuttered as she blushed. "You're cute whenever you blush." I said as I chuckled softly. She paused for a moment, still blushing. What happened to her? She won't stop blushing.
"Well, anyway I gotta pay for this now." She said before she goes back inside the fitting room.
Erza just finished paying in the cashier. I wonder how many clothes she bought. "Come on, Jellal! I'm hungry!" She said as she pulled my hand and we started walking. "So, fitting a thousand dresses made you hungry? What about me, sitting outside the fitting room and following you all day?" I scoffed at her. "I'm sorry." She giggled softly. "How many dresses did you bought anyway?" I asked her. "Hmm, only the pink dress I showed you, a pair of wedge sandals and some accessories." She answered. Only one dress!? I keep following her and waiting for her outside in the fitting room all day and at the end of the day she'll just pick one dress?!
"You've gotta be kidding me!" I growled and she just laughed at me. "Sorry, I just remembered that I still have to pay some shopping bills." She said as she laughed. I sighed at her, making her feel I'm annoyed. "Hey…don't be mad." She says. She stopped me from walking by holding my arm. "And because I'm planning to treat you dinner this time." She smiles at me. "You better because following you while shopping all day is not easy." I sighed. "What do you want? Salad? Ramen? Pizza?" She asked as she pulled my arm lightly to continue walking. "Anywhere." I answered. Honestly, I don't have an all-time favorite food, like Erza's love for strawberry cake. The only food I love eating often is bacon and egg, but it isn't breakfast. The food I eat outside depends on my mood. "Let's go to Café World! I want strawberry cake for dinner!" She said happily and pulled my arm.
She's happy because once again I'm not the one who decided where we'll eat.
At the Café World, I just ordered a cinnamon roll and a coffee jelly, while she ordered five slices of Strawberry cake and a frappe. Plus, she ordered three more slices for her breakfast tomorrow. I don't know how she's not gaining weight despite the amount of calories and sugar the strawberry cake she eats every day.
"I'm excited for the homecoming." She says and took a sip from her frappe. "Why are you excited? You'll just reunite with some bastards in our class." I scoffed. I remembered the Thunder God Tribe gang way back in high school and the Oracion Seis gang. Those bastards! Especially, Midnight the guy who started a rumor about me dating Erza! Not just dating, but I heard he even told someone that we're 'friends with benefits' before. I hate that guy! We haven't spoke with each other for a long time until we all graduated. But for now, I forgive him for that already. I just hope he's matured enough by now.
"Forget about what Midnight told the people about us! Forget about the prank Laxus did to you. Forget about Evergreen starting an issue that you're a…you know – a gay!" She giggled. Oh, the "Jellal Fernandes is gay" rumor started by Evergreen. It's a good thing Erza is there for me to confront her about the rumor she started. It was nothing to me anymore, but I feel like I wanted to kill Evergreen every time I remember when they all doubt and think I'm gay. It's a good thing I didn't kill her during Cana's party. It's her fault why Erza also doubted if I was gay. I never had a girlfriend or a crush during high school days. Well, Erza is my crush, but it's just because I admire her personality. And besides, it's not my fault I don't find those girls in our class beautiful, except for Erza, Lucy, Juvia, Mira, Levy and Cana, aside from my friends.
"I'm not really gay. I just don't find the girls in our school beautiful." I groaned as I recalled how Thunder God Tribe gang teases me before. "Not beautiful? Lucy is pretty. She's noisy, but if you get close to her she's kind and sweet, also Mirajane. Juvia is pretty, but she never gave her suitors a chance for her because she's in love or probably obsessed with Gray. Levy, she's a beautiful nerd who fell in love with an arrogant guy, Gajeel. And Cana…Cana may be a wild and an importunate girl, but if you get to know her, you'll also see the beautiful side of her." She says as she finished eating the second slice of strawberry cake.
"No, I mean besides from them. They're our friends and of course they're already beautiful in our eyes." I said and took a sip from my coffee jelly. "Like…Evergreen, I don't find her beautiful. And Laki…she's a beautiful nerd like Levy, but I'm not attracted to her. And who's the green-haired girl who's always clinging with her boyfriend all the time?"
"Bisca Connell?"
"Oh, yeah her. She's also pretty, but I don't like her. Hmm, who else? Kinana, she's pretty, but kind of weird. Minerva…oh, the school's top bitch, the one who tried to flirt with me, Natsu and Gray. And...Sherry…she's cute and hot, but noisy like Lucy. Wendy…she's our friend even if she's still a Freshman that time, but come on! She's too young for me to be attracted at her. Yukino, she's cute and sweet, but I also find her weird. Milliana…she's like a sister to me." I recalled how the girls in our school are like. "Oh, Minerva! I remember that girl. Juvia wants to drown her in the pool when she found out she's trying to flirt with Gray." She giggled.
"What about you? You never had a boyfriend, until now. You have suitors who are attractive. Why didn't you give them a chance?" I asked her. If she's doubting me being a gay just because I don't have a girlfriend before, now I wanted to doubt her being a lesbian for not having a boyfriend until the age of twenty-four. "Well…I…because…I don't – well, I really don't like them. I didn't feel a single spark between me and one of my suitors, even Simon…" She stuttered. "Simon? Oh, him…why didn't you give him a chance?" I asked as I remembered Simon.
"Well, I just see him as a friend, a best friend…more like a brother only." She answered.
"What about me? How do you see me? What do you think of me?" She asked.
"Well…you're beautiful inside and out. You're probably the best girl that any guy would have. You're scary and brutal when it comes to disciplining people, but for me you just want what's best for everyone's sake. In other words, you are so caring. You're intelligent, kind, caring and as the same time you're…so – intimidating, brutal and scary." I said and laughed when I told about the scary part. "I'm beautiful in your eyes?" She asked. I just said so. Isn't she used that people say she's beautiful? "Yes, you are."
"H-how?" She asked. Why is she curious about how beautiful she is? "Well, you're pretty, meaning you're attractive. You're beautiful, meaning you're beautiful in the inside." I explained. She blushed and looked away from my eyes. I can see how she bites her lip while blushing. "and sexy." I added to make her blusher. "Don't be ridiculous." She blurted, still blushing. "Why are you blushing?" I asked as I laughed softly. "I don't know if you're just trying to flatter me." She rolled my eyes at me. "No, I'm not. You really have a nice and curvy body. You're hot. No wonder why many guys wanted to sleep with you way back in high school." I chuckled. "Gee, thanks!" She scoffed at me sarcastically.
"And what about me? What do you think of me? Though I bet you'll say a lot of negative things to me like I'm happy-go-lucky. Like how the hell did I become the Valedictorian when I don't put much effort on some things?"
"Well…I know you're kind of goofy. But you're…I-i don't know how to say this, but…" She stuttered. Why is she stuttering? She stuttered several times this day. "You're kind, intelligent, gentleman, caring, protective and most of all you are loving and affectionate. I mean even if you're a goof, you're a sincere lover. Just like to Ultear…you love her so much…" She says then her voice suddenly changed when she mentioned Ultear. My eyes widened as she mentioned Ultear again. "…you're the best boyfriend that any girl would have…you're tender, loving, protective and caring! Ultear is so stupid to let you go…" The tone of her voice suddenly changed, as if she can feel how my heart ached when Ultear broke up with me. I looked away from her.
Damn, I remembered Ultear again! I forgot about her since Erza and I go shopping. I can feel the pain going back in my chest again.
"H-hey! I didn't mean to mention about Ultear!" She blurted. "I'm sorry…" She apologized. I just said "It's okay…".
Three weeks have passed since we broke up and yet I can still feel the pain. I'm still assuming that she'll go back to me and say she's sorry and then we'll start over again. She's my first love, so no wonder I'm having a hard time to get over her. If it wasn't for Erza, I wouldn't be able to forget her for a moment. I guess just like when I got drunk. I get to forget Ultear for a moment when I'm with her, on the other hand while I'm in bed and drunk with her until now after three weeks have passed. Thank you, Erza…
"Umm, let's go…" She broke the silence. I looked back at her and just nodded.
There's still a silence between us, until we arrived in the parking lot. I'm still thinking of what she said.
Earlier, she's trying to say as if I'm almost the perfect boyfriend that any girl would have. She already told me about it a few weeks ago. What I was wondering about is that the way she told me about it. When she first told me about how stupid Ultear was and how stupid of me, she sounded as if she's just mocking Ultear and me in a joking manner. But earlier, she sounded as if she knew exactly how I felt the pain. It's just weird…different…
While Erza is putting the paper bags and the box of cake on the compartment of her car, here I am leaning on the car beside me, still thinking of what she said earlier. Silence hulled between us, but not until I spotted a familiar woman with a dark purple hair and bangs, clinging with a black-haired man. And it's none other than…
Ultear.
I recognized the guy she's with. It's Zeref, her ex-boyfriend. They're holding hands and flirting with each other while walking. They're not so far away from here, but they're just about to pass by where I am.
I can see Ultear how she pressed her lips on Zeref's lips. My heart skipped a beat and the next thing I realized is the pain in my chest doubled compared before. I never thought that seeing her with the man she exchanged for me is more painful. Painful…I can't believe she wasted our relationship for many years!
"Jellal, why are you still-!?" I interrupted Erza from whatever she's gonna say by pressing my lips on her lips. I held her cheeks as I kept kissing her and towering her. I pushed her against the door of her car without breaking the kiss. She let out a moan as I bit her lip while I pinned her on the car. She tried to struggle from me, but I didn't let her go. Until she was carried away and she just closed her eyes as I kept kissing and biting her lip. While I kept kissing her, I noticed that Ultear and Zeref are near us.
"Jellal!" Ultear gasped as she met my gaze. I finally broke the kiss between me and Erza. "What a coincidence! What are you doing here?" She says. I let go of Erza and faked a smile on her. "Well…" I faked a smile and pretended as if nothing happened between us. I pulled Erza against my body by placing my arm around her shoulders. "Erza and I are on a date. What about you?" I said. Erza looked at me, wondering. "Jellal-!" I shushed her by kissing her.
"That's good I thought you would depress yourself over me." Ultear just smiled at me. "I never thought you two would realize your love for each other. Congratulations." She said. "We're…already dating." I told her.
So, she never loved me at all? You can't see a single sign of her being affected of what I said.
"Oh, we gotta go. Until, we meet again next time, Jellal." She says and walked away with Zeref. I let out a deep sigh as I watched them walk away together. I never thought it would be this painful.
Inside the car, silence hulled between us. Erza remained silent since I kissed her and told Ultear we're dating. This time, Erza is driving while I'm just watching the structures and roads we passed by. My mind was alerted when I saw the lights turned red and yet Erza is not yet stopping. If Erza didn't stop, we'll bump in the car in front of us. "Erza, look out!" I yelled. She gasped as she realized we're about to bump the car in front of us. It's a good thing she quickly stepped on the brakes. We almost hit the car.
Erza sighed in relief after she successfully stopped the car. "What's wrong with you?!" I asked angrily. "Sorry…" She apologized without looking at me. Then, I noticed a tear in her cheek. She immediately wiped it away. Damn, I just yelled at her. I didn't mean to, I was carried away by my emotions.
"Hey…" I placed my hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to." I apologized. She didn't respond. "If you're mad for telling Ultear we're dating. I'm sorry…Look, I-I was just hurt when I saw her with Zeref. I was carried away. I'm sorry…"
"Fine…I understand." She just nodded.
"Am I still allowed to go to your condo?" I asked her. "Of course you can. You always go there anytime you want." She says.
I'm so stupid…stupid! I used Erza to get Ultear jealous. But in the end, she just congratulated me. She looks happy with Zeref while here I am still assuming there's still a second chance for us. And there's Erza, she allowed me to come in her place and sleep over, but she's ignoring me. I showed Ultear that I'm fine without her just because I don't want her to see the weak side of me. I don't like people seeing how weak I am… Erza is the only person that can see the weak side of me.
There's Erza on the kitchen, while here I am sitting on the couch. I don't know what she's doing. I can see that she's just standing there with her hands on the counter. Maybe, she's still mad at me…
I stood up from the couch and headed to the kitchen. I approached her by back-hugging her. "Hey…don't be mad at me." I said as I placed my chin on her shoulder while I wrapped my hands around her waist. "It's your fault. You're so stupid that you think you could make her jealous, right?" She scoffed at me. "Mmm, yeah." I admitted. "Jellal, why do you love her so much?" She asked. What kind of a question is that?
"She's my first love. She's the first girl in my life and you think it's easy for me to forget her just like that." I said as I unclasped my hand from her waist. "Why are you asking?" I asked her, wondering. It took a few seconds before she answered me. "Well… I mean, she's happy with Zeref already. Why can't you just let her be happy if you really love her? There must be someone else who can love you." She said. I didn't respond to what she said.
Someone else? I don't know if I would be able to wait or find that someone else. And if ever, I don't want to fall in love again. I don't want to be hurt by another person. But for now I will try my best to have a second chance with Ultear. Maybe if I do, she'll realize that she really loves me.
"Do you have a wine?" I asked her. She turned around to look at me. "Jellal… don't drink, please." She said. "Erza, please…I just want to forget what I saw earlier." I sighed. I felt her arms wrapped around my waist. "Jellal, please…" She cried. "What's the point of drinking? You'll still remember her tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and so on. Please, don't hurt yourself because of her…" She embraced me tight. "Erza…I loved her! How can she do this to me? I-I never thought that seeing her with him would double the pain." I cried. As much as possible I wanted to stop my tears from falling. Why can't I be a man like Elfman? Why am I so weak when it comes to emotions?
Erza turned me around to face her. "Hey, Jellal, don't be so weak! Stop being so stupid over her." She scolded me. "I never thought someone like her can hurt me like this!" I faked a laugh just to stop my tears from falling. "Can you blame me for being hurt?! She just threw everything away! It's almost our 4th anniversary. She-!" I was about to cry out in front of my best friend. But this time I was interrupted by her by pressing her lips against mine. She cupped my cheeks as she kissed me passionately. I closed my eyes as I'm being carried away by her kiss. Damn, she's a good kisser! Now I feel guilty for kissing her harshly earlier.
It took us like…ten…fifteen…twenty seconds? Before we broke the kiss. "Shut up, okay? She's not worth it. Don't worry I'm still here… I will never leave you…" She embraced me. I stroked her long scarlet hair with my fingers as she leaned her head on my chest. "Thank you…for being here for me all the time." I said. "Thanks…" She pulled away from me.
I stared at her beautiful face. This girl in front of me is not just pretty, she's beautiful inside and out. I know I've said it many times! But I just can't get that thought of my mind. Erza is almost perfect. I'm not just the one saying it, but also Natsu, Gray, Gajeel and the boys. Erza's future boyfriend or husband would be so lucky to have her. I wish she's just the girl I fell in love…but, I don't want that wish of mine to come true because it'll ruin our friendship.
I cupped her cheek as I stare. This time I'm the one who kissed her. I wrapped my arms around her waist while kissing her. I'm kissing my best friend…Erza. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't have any excuse this time because I'm not drunk anymore. I carried her and made her sit on the counter without breaking the kiss. I'm cupping her cheek as I kept kissing her.
Why the hell am I kissing her the way I kiss Ultear? Jellal, get hold of yourself! This is Erza! Your best friend! You were just lying about dating her earlier, so you don't have the right to kiss her! God damn…I want to stop myself from doing so. But as we kept kissing each other every second, I just realized I love whatever we're doing right now.
But what confused me is that why is she responding to my kisses? Does she love it too? But who cares? Fuck, she's a good kisser!
My kisses went down to her neck and collarbone. I can feel her arm around my neck as she tweaks my hair. She let out a moan when bit her neck. This is probably the effect of watching X-rated movies. Thanks a lot Natsu and Gray! They also made me watch porn before. And now my hormones are attacking. My kisses slowly went down to her belly, until it goes down between her thighs. She tweaked my hair tightly when I probably touched a sensitive part of her womanhood. I caressed her smooth legs before I opened it widely. "Jellal…" I heard her moan. I think she's getting carried of what I'm doing to her.
I pulled up her dress as I kept kissing her thigh. Then, I just realized my lips crawled between her thighs. The fabric of her panties is thin so I can feel her clitoris touching my lips. I started pulling her panties down to her ankles. I'm still wondering why she's not stopping me. Does she love whatever we're doing?
I started kissing, licking and tasting her womanhood. I can hear her muffling from her moans. I can feel her digging her nails on my nape. She tastes good. Damn, the boys are right. Why didn't I do this during my teenage years? I never thought it feels so good. Damn, my hormones. Now, I know why the boys lost their virginity since high school. I stretched her womanhood with my thumbs and dipped my tongue on her opening. "J-jellal! Ah…" She moaned. My tongue went up to her clitoris, licking it up and down. "A-ah! Oh…" She moaned once again while she keeps digging her nails on my nape.
Her innocent moans are teasing me. I insert a finger on her opening. Then, I added another finger. God, she's soaking wet. If only I could remember how we did for the first time. She's probably screaming in pleasure. I moved my fingers inside her, in and out. "Ah!" She let out a loud moan when I probably hit a sensitive part inside her. But I didn't mind her I just kept thrusting my fingers inside her while kissing her clitoris for a few minutes, like ten or more? Moan Erza…I love it when you moan. Her sweet innocent moans are teasing me.
"J-jellal! S-something is gonna come out!" She screamed as she grabbed my hair. I looked at her face and I saw her biting her lip so hard with her eyes closed. "A-ah! Jellal!" She screamed my name while she keeps tweaking my hair. As I withdrew my fingers from her opening, her juices came out. She's soaking wet. This time I can't believe that I'm the first guy who made her orgasm.
I can't take it anymore! I want her! I want inside her!
I kissed her back on her lips. I wrapped her legs around my waist and lifted her body from the counter. I made my way on her bedroom while carrying her and without breaking the kiss. I can't help it anymore! I can't explain this pleasure I'm feeling with her right now. All I know is I love it.
We both crashed on her bed, still kissing each other. I started unbuttoning my long sleeve shirt without breaking the kiss. I slid my shirt down to my arms and tossed it on the floor. I lifted her body and pulled her dress up to her head, then slid it up to her head and tossed it on the floor. The only garment left on her body is her black bra. I didn't waste my time and my hands quickly crawled on her back to unhook her bra. I slid her bra down to her arms and tossed it on the floor, now her large breasts are exposed. I kissed her back on her lips as I slowly laid her. I can feel her large breasts being pressed on my bare chest.
I got carried away by lust and sexual desire, I just realized right now that I can't do it with her unless we have protection. "W-wait, Erza…" I pulled away from her. I knelt on top of her as I scratch my head. "…I can't. I might get you-"
"There's a condom in my drawer." She interrupted me. My eyes widened and she giggled as she saw my reaction. She has what?! Why does she have a condom in her drawer? Does she know this would happen?
I get that thought off my mind and just headed to her drawer on the bedside table. I opened the drawer and pulled out the condom. I started undoing my jeans and boxers. I can see how Erza blushed and looked away from me while I take off my undergarments. I went back on top of her. As she caught me staring at her body so bad, she covered her chest with her hands and closed her legs. "I've already seen it before, so what's the point of not looking." I chuckled, teasing her. After I said that, her face is fully red. She's blushing like a tomato, which makes her cuter.
I unfolded the condom and wore it in my manhood. I opened her legs wide as I positioned myself between her thighs. I pulled her closer to me. I wonder how my manhood fits inside her during our first time. I slowly slipped my manhood inside her opening. I went for her lips as I thrust myself inside her deeper. She let out a soft moan as I started moving inside her up and down. "Erza…" I grunted. I pinned her hand on the bed while my other hand crawled up to her breast. Her breasts are perfect. My kisses went down to her neck from her lips, then down to her nipple. "Oh…" She let out a soft moan as I bit her nipple. I can feel something electric between us as our body rubbed against each other.
Now I understand why other guys wanted sex. Before I always wonder why are there people who are dying to have sex or who can't resist having sex. Now I know why. It feels so good. But the bad thing is I'm not doing it because of love…I'm doing this because I got carried away and due to lust and desire. Another thing is…Jellal, come on! This is your best friend!
"Jellal…" She moaned once again while she wrapped her arm around my nape. I can feel her nails digging on my nape. She tilted her head as she bites her lip and shut her eyes the moment I started moving inside her faster. I can see how she keeps trying to stop herself from moaning. "Erza…if you want to scream, just scream." I said and cupped her cheek. She nodded as she keeps muffling from the scream or loud moan she wanted to release. "Oh, God!" She let out a loud moan as I fucked her faster.
Yes, fuck…I don't think I call this love making. Jellal Fernandes is fucking his own best friend.
"Erza!" I let out a loud moan before I climaxed. "Jellal!" She screamed in pleasure while she kept digging her nails on my back. As we both climaxed, I finally withdrew my manhood out of her. I crashed beside her, panting heavily. I pulled the blanket covered our naked bodies. I flipped my body on the left to face her, now we're both facing at each other. I caressed her cheek as she keeps panting heavily. As we met each other's gaze, we just suddenly laughed as we realized that we just had sex with each other for the second time.
"That was fun…" I chuckled. "I just want to shut you up…crybaby." She teased me. Erza, just once will you please stop teasing me for being a crybaby? "Well…thanks. I mean, not because of what we did…thanks because you're always here for me." I said. This time she cupped my cheek. "I just don't want to see you hurt. Jellal, you're my best friend, almost my brother. I love you and I will do anything to heal the pain inside you." She said, seriously while cupping my cheek. S-she loves me? "Y-you love me?" I asked. "I love you! I-I mean, as in as my best friend, of course!" She stuttered. Stuttering again? "You stuttered like more than five times this day while talking to me? What's the matter? Are there times that you're feeling awkward or uncomfortable with me?" I asked her. "Nothing…why'd you ask?" She looked away from me. "It's just unusual." I told her.
"Erza…can I ask you something?" I asked.
"You already did."
"No, seriously…umm…why do you have a condom in your drawer? Have figured out this would happen? Or…did you plan this?" I chuckled.
"What?! The hell no!"
"Then, why?"
"Well…actually…Cana and Lucy advised me to keep a condom in my bedroom in case of emergency. And there…look what happened earlier." She blushed.
I burst out laughing. Cana and Lucy? I wouldn't be surprised that they're an expert when it comes to situations like this. "You seemed to be an expert." She says. Me, an expert? "Well…I wouldn't have knowledge about this, if only Gray and Natsu didn't make me watch porn and X-rated movies before." I shrugged.
If only I could tell Erza how grateful I am to have her all the time. Well, she knows about it, but I don't know how to express it properly.
I was eleven years old when I met Erza. I first saw her in the park with her nanny Mrs. Mills. She was crying that time. So, I got curious and I approached her to ask why. I thought that she just probably scrapped her knee or fell on the swing. She told me that her parents aren't home during her birthday. One of the main reasons how we became friends is that we have something in common. We both lack attention from our parents. We're always alone in the house. The servants in our house are like are family. We grew up with a nanny. That's why become best friends and treated each other as if we're siblings.
Whenever my parents are fighting in the middle of the night, I would sneak out of our house and go to Erza's house. Well, actually the distance of our houses are just two blocks away. I would climb in the tree next to the balcony of her bedroom, sneak inside her bedroom. I would wake her up in the middle of the night and cry on her shoulders. Honestly, I don't know why I'm such a crybaby especially I'm a man.
We did everything together. We helped each other in doing home works and studying. We graduated from elementary, went in the same high school which is Fairy University where we met Natsu, Gray, Gajeel, Lucy and the others. I always fetch Erza on her classroom during dismissal and we'll walk together on our way home. Natsu even thought I was courting her at the age of thirteen. We won school competitions together, like both of us we're the chosen representative for the Mathlete. I supported her when she wanted to run for the Student Council President. We danced at the Prom together. Graduate from high school together. Escorted and danced with her at her 18th birthday. After we graduated from college, we helped each other look for a job. Nah! I can't enumerate all those. We've done so many things together!
We're friends for fourteen years and I still can't believe how long we've been with each other. I love her so much, just like my little sister. And I promised Mrs. Mills I would protect her from those guys who'll hurt her. I can't imagine losing this girl. I remembered the saleslady earlier, for the third time. How and why would I hurt this girl? In what way how am I gonna take advantage my friendship with her?
And there…because of Erza I tend to forget the pain from what I saw earlier. She's always there whenever I'm hurt. She's always there to catch me when I'm about to fall down. I guess the reason why she let me kiss her, touch her and bed her is that she probably wanted me to forget what I saw earlier. She wanted me to forget the pain.
But this time, I know myself there's something odd. We're used in sleeping in one bed, but this time we're in one bed without any clothes. I know I should have stopped myself from doing it, but I don't know why I got carried away with her. I kind of feel guilty for doing it to her just to forget the pain from what I saw earlier.
By this time, Erza is already sleeping and snoring. I caressed her cheek once again. She's got pretty face. She might be scary in the eyes of others, but for me she looks like an angel that was sent from the above. I pulled her closer to me and leaned her head on my chest. I stroked her long beautiful scarlet hair with my fingers.
Why didn't I love you instead of Ultear? If I loved you, I know myself you will never hurt me the way Ultear hurt me.
I suddenly remembered what the boys told me when we're at Lucy's. That what if Erza is secretly in love with me? I don't think Erza is. But if ever Erza is all I can say is…please, don't. Don't fall in love with me Erza…because I can't promise you that I can love you back.