Made this a bit longer than the last chapter-enjoy!
Katarzyna88gb: Hope you enjoy this one!
Galwidanatitud: Isabell is finally having to learn that herself in this chapter. But yes, it's definitely good to have him watching your back :)
Lady-Finwe: Glad you think so! I can't wait to move past season 2...maybe Daryl starts to realize his own feelings too...;)
A week had gone by since Randall had first been brought to the farm. Shane and Rick had taken him out to town to drop him off once he'd recovered enough. They had kept him blindfolded and wearing a headset with blaring music the whole time they drove him away from the farm, but as they were leaving him, Randall had made a comment that changed everything. He had gone to school with Maggie. He knew her, which meant he knew where the farm was. Rick and Shane had brought Randall back to the farm, both agreeing that it wasn't safe to just set him free and let him find his way back to his group now.
Randall had been left alone in the barn for the entire night, but this morning Rick and Shane agreed to let Daryl interrogate him. I didn't like the way that sounded, or the way I overheard Daryl make Rick promise to keep me away from the barn while he did.
We had all spent the morning waiting for Daryl's return from the barn. Lori was preparing things around a fire, getting ready to make lunch for the group. I had spent the majority of my time picking the dirt out from under my fingernails and sharpening my knife. I was just trying to stay busy and keep my mind off of whatever was happening in that barn.
"Must've found something out," T-Dog suddenly said, catching the group's attention.
Collectively as one we all turned and looked in the direction T-Dog was gazing in. Daryl was making his way back to our camp, his crossbow slung over his shoulder. When he got closer, I noticed his hands were covered in blood—which I figured wasn't his. His knuckles were dark with bruises, too. He seemed to be purposely avoiding making eye contact with me as he joined the group.
"Boy in there's got a gang," Daryl informed us. "Thirty men with heavy artillery. And they ain't lookin' to make friends. They roll through here? The men will be dead. And the women…" Daryl's voice tightened up, a look of anger in his eyes as he spoke. "They're gonna wish they were."
"What did you do?" I called out weakly to him, my eyes glued to his hands.
"Had a little chat," he answered vaguely, still refusing to meet my eyes.
"No one goes near this guy," Rick ordered firmly. "He's a threat. We have to eliminate the threat."
"You're just going to kill him?" Dale asked in disbelief.
"It's settled," Rick said, his voice still firm and commanding. "We'll do it today."
I watched as Rick retreated from the group. Dale hurried off after him, his rifle slung over his shoulder. I could see him talking in a hurried manner, most likely trying to change Rick's mind and find another way to handle the situation.
My eyes darted back to Daryl, but I spotted him making his way towards his camp already. Maybe it was better I didn't know what he had done. I turned instead and made my way back to the farmhouse to check in on Beth.
Earlier in the week, Andrea had been left to keep an eye on the young girl. Beth had become suicidal and Maggie refused to let her be left alone for even a second. Unfortunately, Andrea unlocked her bathroom and left her unsupervised, which lead to Beth smashing the bathroom mirror and cutting a wrist. Thankfully she hadn't cut too deep and Hershel had bandaged her up, but Andrea was not exactly welcome back into the farmhouse.
I found Beth lying in the bed, listening to a story that Sarah was telling her. Apparently it was a memory from Christmas when she and I were young. Beth had a faint smile on her face as she listened, and Maggie was sitting beside her sister in a better mood than she'd seemed to be in days.
Sarah's story stopped when she saw me in the doorway and she smiled up at me.
"I was just telling Beth about that Christmas when we both woke up before Mom and Dad. We had unwrapped everything because we just couldn't wait for them to wake up. Mom was so mad and I remember not understanding why. I'm pretty sure that's the year I realized Santa wasn't real and the presents actually came from our parents," she told me, a distant look on her face as she stared at a spot just above my head.
She looked like she was reliving the memory, but she would be the only one. The only memory I could still clearly recall was when that photo in my backpack was taken at Sarah's graduation.
"How're you feeling today, Beth?" I asked as I made my over and sat down on the bed beside her.
"Better," she told me. "I actually managed to get some sleep last night. And Maggie made me pancakes this morning."
"They were just a mix from a box," Maggie said modestly.
"It's been so long since I've had something besides eggs for breakfast," Beth said. "Box or not, they were great."
Maggie smiled and playfully ruffled her sister's blonde hair. "Glad you enjoyed them then."
A knock on the door sounded. The four of us turned our attention in time to see Dale walking into the room. His expression was serious, but he looked anxious as he looked to each of us in turn.
"Can I talk to you girls?" he asked.
I glanced down at Beth. She looked confused as she eyed Dale.
"It's about Randall," Dale added on.
I stood up from the bed. "Maybe we should talk downstairs then."
Dale nodded and led the way down the stairs and to the dining room. Maggie and Sarah filed in behind us.
"Rick is giving me the afternoon to talk to everyone about Randall before we have a group meeting tonight," Dale explained quickly. "I wanted to see where you all stood on the matter. I refuse to believe everyone is okay with murdering that young man."
"Wait, you're all planning on killing him?" Sarah asked in horror.
A look of extreme relief washed over Dale's face. "Yes. Rick and the others believe the only way to handle this situation is to kill Randall. But there has to be other options."
Sarah turned her attention to me. "I hope you're not on board with that choice."
"I'm not sure exactly," I said slowly.
"Isabell!" Sarah admonished.
Dale was narrowing his eyes at me. "You can't honestly think it's okay to kill him. You're a good person!"
"That isn't what's being questioned right now. Daryl said this guy comes from a larger group. If he ever makes it back to them, he could lead them here," I said. "And we already know some of their members tried to kill to take this farm. There's no doubt in my mind they wouldn't come straight here and take it by force. They have more people and they're better equipped with weapons. We would lose."
Dale was shaking his head at me. "We don't know he'd lead them here."
"We don't know he wouldn't," I replied. "Rick said they left him for dead. They saw his injury. If he shows up alive and healed, they're going to know we have a doctor and medical supplies here too. Whether he told them willingly or not—they'd end up here. And then we'd be killing even more people."
"So you're alright with this?" Sarah asked me, her face a look of complete surprise.
"No I'm not okay with this," I said in frustration. "I feel it's a horrible choice to make, but at the same time, logic points to it being the best decision."
"Those infected people…I still have a hard time knowing you're out there killing them," Sarah said. "But I saw that they're somehow different from us. But people who aren't infected? That's murder."
"Yeah," I agreed. "It is. That's why this is hard."
"What about you?" Dale asked suddenly, turning his attention to Maggie. "Where do you stand on all of this?"
Maggie shrugged silently. "I'd rather be kept out of it. As long as whatever happens is humane."
"Murder isn't humane," Dale snapped.
"I'm going to stay with my sister," Maggie said abruptly. "I don't want to listen to any more of this."
"Cause you know it's wrong!" Dale shouted after her retreating form. He shook his head again, frustrated. "This group has lost its humanity."
"I don't disagree with that," Sarah said a little too harshly. She was eyeing Lori and Carol around the fire as they cooked lunch.
I frowned as I thought back to a conversation I had with Daryl just a week ago. "This isn't a black and white problem with an obvious solution. We're trying to do what we think is right for the greater good. We need to look out for our own."
"I don't even know who you are," Dale told me before he turned and exited the farmhouse.
Sarah stood beside me in silence. She was avoiding making eye contact.
"I can't believe Uncle Hershel is going to just let you murder someone," she finally said.
I let out a deep sigh. "Sarah, you have to understand. The world is different. There's no government and no police force or military out there protecting us anymore. It's terrible that other survivors out there can't realize it'd be better to band together against a common enemy instead of against each other. But apparently walkers aren't our only threat now. If we want to survive we have to adapt to the world."
Sarah's eyes finally met mine and she held my stare. "If murdering and killing is what I have to keep doing to survive, I don't think I want to. I think Beth was on to something and maybe we shouldn't have tried to stop her."
"Sarah, don't say that!" I called out to her retreating back.
I slammed my hand onto the dining room table in anger. I winced when a jolt of pain shot through my hand. That wasn't smart, I told myself as I glanced down at my throbbing fingers.
My eyes darted out the window to where Lori and Carol were cooking. With slumped shoulders, I made my way outside and decided to help the pair.
The sun was near setting by the time Rick had rounded up everyone into the living room of Hershel's house. Carl had been sent upstairs to stay with Beth and Jimmy, all three of them not being deemed old enough to bear the burden of this decision.
Light was flooding in through the windows, casting a soft orange glow about the room. Rick had centered himself in the front of the group, in a place that he could command attention. Dale wasn't too far away from him though. Daryl had been leaning up against an old cabinet just behind Rick, and I couldn't help but notice how even though he was taking part in the group, he was still a bit distanced from everyone. His eyes were focused on a spot on the floor just in front of his feet. He seemed determined not to acknowledge anyone. His knuckles were still darkened with bruises, but I noticed he'd washed the blood off of them.
A gentle hand was suddenly on my shoulder and I quickly turned my head to see Carol standing beside me. She drew her hand back and I sent her a small smile in greeting, which she returned. I was thankful she wasn't in a mood to make a comment about catching me staring at Daryl.
Nobody said anything for a long while. An uncomfortable and tense silence was filling the air, it was almost as if you could feel the weight of it. Hershel was sat on a couch across the room, Maggie and Sarah sitting on either side of him. The same morose expression on Dale's face I saw mirrored on my sister's. I tried hard to ignore the nagging thought that kept telling me Sarah was going to have a tough time adjusting to the world.
"So how do we do this? We just…take a vote?" Glenn's soft voice broke the silence.
"Does it have to be unanimous?" Andrea asked.
"No, majority rule," Lori said meekly from beside her husband.
Rick jumped in quickly. "Let's just see where everyone stands before we go making any votes on the issue. We can talk through the options."
"Hell, the way I see it there's only one way to move forward," Shane spoke up.
"Killing him," Dale spat. "Right? I don't know why we're even bothering to take a vote, it's clear which way you're all leaning."
"Well if people believe we should spare him, I want to know," Rick told Dale.
"I can tell you it's just a small group," Dale said sadly. "Maybe just me, Glenn and Sarah."
From beside Dale, Glenn's head rose slowly, a guilty look on his face. Dale froze when he noticed the expression too.
"Look, I think you're pretty much right on everything all the time, but this—" Glenn started.
"They've got you scared!" Dale exclaimed incredulously.
"He's not one of us," Glenn explained. "And we've lost too many of our people already."
Dale stood on the spot, repeatedly twisting his hat between his hands in a peeved manner. He pointed at Maggie despite her disinterest in the decision earlier today.
"You can't tell me you're good with this," Dale said as he singled her out.
Maggie looked torn as she turned her attention on Rick. "Couldn't we just continue to keep him prisoner?"
"Just another mouth to feed," Daryl's sudden voice said in tone so soft I was surprised it'd come from him.
"It may be a lean winter," Hershel spoke up. "Might not have many crops."
"We could ration better," Lori suggested.
"Or he could be an asset!" Dale urged. "Why don't we give him a chance to prove himself."
"We could put him to work?" I offered up.
"Keep an escort on him," Maggie suggested.
"Who'd want to volunteer for that duty?" Shane said distastefully.
"I will!" Dale said forcefully.
Rick raised a hand up to catch everyone's attention. "I don't think anyone should be walking around with this guy. He's dangerous."
"He's right," Lori agreed. "I wouldn't feel safe unless he was tied up."
"We can't exactly put chains around his ankles and sentence him to hard labor," Andrea said.
"Look," Shane said, his voice serious instead of sarcastic. "Let's say we let him join us. Maybe he's nice. Maybe he's helpful. Then we let our guard down and he runs off and brings back his thirty men."
I thought I could feel someone watching me and I scanned my eyes around the room. I stopped when I spotted Daryl eyeing me with an intense look on his face that resembled a mix of concern and something else. His eyes darted immediately to Dale when he spoke up, leaving me feeling confused.
"So the answer is to just kill him then?" Dale asked. "Just to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt?"
"Dale has a point," Sarah's soft voice spoke up. "You're all condemning him as if he's already done something wrong. He hasn't."
"Exactly!" Dale said, nodding his head vigorously. "If we do this, we're saying there's no hope. That civilization is dead!"
"What if you drove him further out?" Hershel asked. "Leave him like you planned?"
Lori was shaking her head firmly. "They barely came back the last time they went out. It's not safe. There are walkers out there. You could break down or get lost. Be ambushed."
"We shouldn't put our own people at risk," Glenn agreed.
"If you…go through with it…how would you do it?" Patricia's quiet voice called out. "Would he suffer?"
I could see Sarah fidgeting on the couch beside Hershel at the question.
"We could hang him," Shane said as casually as if he were discussing the ways to cook dinner tonight. "Would just snap his neck."
"I thought about that," Rick said. "Shooting may be more humane."
I thought I could feel eyes on me again and my attention turned straight to Daryl. Sure enough, his eyes were moving off of me and quickly onto T-Dog as he asked about what we'd do with the body. I frowned at the side of his face but turned my attention back to Dale as he tried to slow everyone down.
"You're talking like it's already decided!" Dale exclaimed.
"We've been talking all day," Daryl's gruff voice said. "We're just going around in circles. We're just going to keep doing that."
"This is a young man's life!" Dale yelled. "And it's worth more than just a five minute conversation!"
Sarah shot up from off the couch, ready to storm off from the look on her face. She stopped when she was beside Rick and Dale at the front of the room.
"That's what you all do? Just kill people when you don't know what else to do with them?" She asked in disgust. "Because I don't want to be a part of that." She took a few steps and then stopped again, shaking her head as she spun around and continued, "You brought him here to save him. What the hell was the point in that now?"
I watched as she stormed off up the stairs and to the room Beth, Jimmy, and Carl were in. The door slammed shut behind her.
"How are we any better than those people that we're so afraid of?" Dale asked the group.
"There's really only one option," Shane told the room.
"No, Dale and Sarah are right. We can't leave any stone unturned," Rick spoke up.
"But we can't even come up with a solution," Andrea said. "I wish we could but…" her voice trailed off.
"So let's work on it!" Dale shouted in frustration.
"Stop it!" Carol called out beside me.
I turned and saw her rubbing her temples as if she had a bad headache. With all of the yelling, she probably did.
"Just stop it. I'm sick of everyone arguing and fighting," Carol said. "You can't ask us to decide something like this. Please decide, just leave me out of it."
Dale rounded on her, his voice cold. "Not speaking out is the same as killing him yourself."
"That's enough," Rick said stepping in. "If anyone has any final thoughts before we make a decision, you can take the floor."
Silence filled the room again. Everyone's attention shifted to their hands, their feet, the floor, the window. Dale was the only one looking around with his last shred of hope for someone to speak out. When no one did, Dale continued again, his attention on Rick.
"You once said we don't kill the living."
"That was before the living tried to kill us," Rick replied.
"If we do this, the people that we were—the world we lived in—it's gone. Dead. Don't you see that?" Dale implored. "This new world…it's ugly, it's harsh. It's survival of the fittest! That's a world I don't want to live in. I don't believe any of you do." Tears were welling up in Dale's eyes as he begged, "Please, let's just do what's right."
"He's right," Andrea said softly. "We should try to find another way."
"Anyone else?" Rick asked.
Nobody else spoke up. Dale looked heartbroken once he realized the decision had been made in that moment.
"Are you all going to watch, too?" he said roughly. "No, you'll all just go hide your heads in your tents and forget that we're slaughtering a human being."
His words caused my stomach to churn suddenly. Heat rose to my face and I felt like I was going to be sick. He was right, even if I thought it would be the safest choice for the group. Maybe I didn't know who I used to be, but what was it that I was currently changing into?
I turned and pushed open the screen door beside me, stepping out into the cool night air. The door closed loudly behind me, punctuating my exit.
What the hell kind of world is this?
I could feel tears stinging at my eyes. I fought them back the best as I could.
The screen door opened and closed behind me. Suddenly I wasn't alone on the porch.
"You okay?" Daryl asked in concern.
I shook my head roughly.
There was a moment of silence before Daryl broke it.
"I don't know what other option we have," he said softly. "He told me what their group does. I'd rather kill him than let any one of them near you."
Tears were rolling down my cheeks now and I couldn't stop them.
"Dale's right," I said weakly. "The world is a cruel, harsh place now. If we want to keep living in it then we have to become something else that's just as cruel and harsh."
"We have to be strong," Daryl corrected me. "We don't have to be cruel."
My eyes met Daryl's through the faint light flooding through the screen door. I wiped the tears from off my cheeks.
"How are you able to make this decision?" I asked him seriously.
"Because I look around at this group, broken as it is," Daryl told me. "And I see people worth protecting." His head gestured towards the house behind us. "Your family is in there. Your friends. Would you rather let some walker or some asshole take them out, or would you rather be the stronger one who did what needed to be done so they made it to see another day?"
"I don't think Sarah is even close to being ready to do that," I admitted.
Daryl leaned in towards me, his face nearly a foot away from mine as he held my gaze with his fierce one. "Then you need to be the one who is if you want to keep her safe."
Daryl was staring at me so intensely now that I wondered if his words were meant somehow for himself too. For a moment I had a foolish thought that he might've been meaning he needed to be that for me, but the thought left the moment Daryl broke eye contact and headed back into the house, leaving me alone on the porch once again.