Hello one and all to the next chapter of Aloha Madness! I am your host as always, the Crazy Man! Now last chapter we saw how our little Naruto might be a tad bit crazy, but that's besides the point. In this chapter we see how Kyōki trains and what happens in the story. I know this story has been out only for a bit, but I would appreciate some reviews if not, its fine, I'll just assume that nothing is wrong and continue on my day.

YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T OWN SHIT, WHY ASK ME ANYWAYS?!

"CAN YOU SMELL WHAT I'M COOKING?" - Talking

'It kinda smells like the lovechild of death.' - Thinking

"I would actually like to try that." - Anything else if I write it

Chapter 3: Training Insanity

We find our heroes, sans one Naruto, sitting around the table at Tazuna's house. Everyone is very shifty, except for Kyōki as he is playing with….a spork? With his fingers spread apart, he starts to stab the spaces in between his fingers with the spork, somehow missing his fingers each time.

"Umm Kyōki? Can you go wake Naruto? We need him down here for the meeting." Kakashi drawled out while being amazed at the level of skill with a spork.

"Of course sir, I will wake young master Naruto." Somehow developing a British accent, Kyōki bowed towards Kakashi and threw the spork outside. Hearing a cry of pain, the team looked outside and saw another buck with the spork lodged in its eye.

Climbing up the stairs, Kyōki braces himself for what is about to occur. 'I wonder how cute Naruto will be when he wakes up in the morning.' He thought to himself as he opened the door to the men's guest room. Inside, his insane mind could only think of one thing...'I wonder how bark tastes like?' Okay, maybe two things….'Oh fuck, he's cute as hell.'

Naruto, wearing his pjs and a black loose fit t-shirt was currently still asleep, with the t-shirt balled up around his chest, showing his flat stomach that was just developing abs. His pajamas hung low, revealing tantalizing small hips that could make even a straight man question himself. Moving his eyes to the sleeping blond, Kyōki's breath caught in his throat, as Naruto had bed head and was lightly snoring, just adding to the cuteness factor.

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!" Kyōki half yelled to Naruto, said blond shot up in his bed, rubbed his eyes while yawning.

"Do I have to?" Naruto sleepily drawled out.

"Unfortunately, while I would love to see you sleep more, you must get up as your team needs you." Kyōkireplied while smirking at Naruto.

Said blond blushed while throwing a pillow at the smirking inmate. "OUT!"

Kyōki adopted a puppy dog look as he was pushed out of the room as Naruto changed. "I will see him one day for myself, and on that day I WILL EAT HIS BABIES. Wait, was that an euphemism for something? Now even I am getting confused by my tactics."

After showering, Naruto noticed that he has a new set of clothes on his bed. 'Huh? Kyōki must have given me this new pair of clothes for training.' Reading the note it said, 'Dear shortie, at this time you should be noticing that there is some new clothes for you, please put them on, you won't be disappointed. With love, Kyōki.' At the shortie comment, Naruto gained a tic mark but then blushed at the 'with love' part. 'Well I guess I can humor him, Kami knows he needs it.'

Walking down the stairs, Naruto couldn't feel more confident, the new clothes he got fit him well to the point it's almost criminal.

"Naruto, what the fuck are you wearing?" Sakura's shrill voice rang out. At this Kyōki blurred in front of her with duct tape and taped her mouth shut.

"TOO SHRILL AND ANNOYING THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING!" Taking out a pencil and paper Kyōki started whispering to himself, "that was a great poem line I just said."

Everyone except Kyōki were amazed at Naruto's transformation, instead of that hideous orange jumpsuit, he wore black shinobi pants with a zipper running around the pant leg showing that they can be used as shorts in the hot weather. WIth only 4 pockets visible on the pants, everyone wonders why there wasn't as many pockets as usual. He wore black ninja sandals, which coupled with the black medical tape gave a look that he could kick your skull in. For a shirt he wore a simple white shirt under a designless black hoodie.

"Welcome to the INSANE DESIGN SCHOOL FOR NINJAS! I am your host Kyōki! Now what Naruto is wearing is specially designed for a person like him, it's form fitting, while still movable, seals inscribed on the cloth actually help him in training, while the hood can be used to hide his hair. All in all, this is a great design!"

Randomly from out of nowhere a table appeared with 3 clones of Kyōki each holding a sign with perfect 10 written on them.

"Thank you very much judges! Now let's get to training!" Taking Naruto's hand Kyōki rushed outside with the rest of the team wondering what the fuck just happened.

/BREAK FOR COOKIES/

"Alright Naruto, it is time for you to train under madness himself, ARE YOU READY?" Kyōki somehow adopting a military look yelled at Naruto.

"I think so!" Naruto replied a little scared.

"FIRST LESSON! CARDIO! When I was an inmate back at the asylum, it was either run, fight, or get fucked, quite literally, now remember those seals in your clothing?"

"Yes? I don't see any however."

"WELL BE PREPARED TO HATE ME. Those seals can be activated to the one who knows the seals to create any kind of weight, scent, sight, sound, anything to confuse the senses of others. But for you I have something in mind." Forming a few handseals, Kyōki exclaimed, "FAKE MURDER SCENE!" And poked Naruto in the chest.

"The fuck did that do?" Naruto said as rubbing his chest because he was poked hard. Unsealing a mirror, Kyōki held it up to Naruto. "To everyone, including myself, you now smell, look, and taste like a freshly killed person."

"Why? What is this supposed to help me with?"

"AS I TOLD YOU MAGGOT, CARDIO! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ANIMALS LOVE A FRESHLY KILLED CORPSE?!" As he said this, you could hear the cawing of vultures overhead, while a wolf howled in the distance. Naruto, looking up actually had to dodge roll out of the way as a vulture attacked him. "I will be right behind you at all times, so you have nothing to worry a-hang on, my old nemesis has appeared."

At this, you can see another buck, this time standing on its hind legs, taking in an almost human appearance. The buck looked feral as Kyōki took a stance, "COME AT ME BRO!"

When he said this, that was the cue for Naruto to start running as the wolves finally gained some speed on him, as the fight raged on behind him, Naruto could hear screams of agony from the buck as Kyōki showed off what he learned from the inmates.

Naruto thought to himself as he ran from the beasts that attacked him, 'There is so much to be found in him, so many questions have no answers, so much of him is unknown.'

Another chapter because fuck you that's why, and have any of you noticed a trend or pattern I made so far? If not keep waiting for the next chapter, which since I have literally nothing to do, I will write soon. Anyways thank you all for reading, please leave a review of the story thus far, and as always I will see you in the next chapter!

~The Crazy Man