Chapter 12 - All Good Things
"That isn't Kyle!" Dr. Grover says holding my chart.
Kaia looks at him, then back at me. "It must be some kind of mistake. Tell him it's a mistake."
I open my mouth to try to explain myself, but words don't come out.
"It's not who he is but, what." He puts an EKG imagine of my skull, next to that of another wolf's. Dr Gavin continues, "You see, his heat blooms don't even resemble that of a normal wolf's. See how the love and sincerity parts of the brain show almost no activity? But the hate and violence part of the brain is just massively lit? The only other animal like it is the nearly extinct Sapien Destroyis."
He puts up an image of a human's, how did they get a human's brain scan? The heat images of my brain and the human's match exactly.
"This species is nearly extinct, just a handful exist in captivity. They nearly destroyed the world, before destroying themselves."
Kaia turns to me pleading, "Tell me it's not true, Kyle! How could you lie to me!?"
"I-I didn't know, I just..."
"Did you ever really love me, or did you just pretend to be my husband so you could fuck me?" She spits as she speaks, my heart aches. My head is spinning.
"We can get rid of him, if that's what you want? He's like an infection, a heavy dose of antibiotics will clear him right up."
"Yes, just do it Doctor. I can't believe I was so stupid as to believe this imposter's lies. You're a fucking monster." Kaia says pointing at me.
"I'm not. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."
"Look at his hands, he can't even wash the blood off."
I look down at my hands, red and blood soaked.
"He's a KILLER. That's the blood of his own people, just think what he would do to you?" Dr. Grover says, picking up a turkey baster-sized syringe full of a green fluid.
Kaia looks at me in horror.
"I would never hurt you Kaia, I'd die to protect you!"
"How are you going to protect her? You couldn't even keep your shipmates. You swore an oath and you failed to protect your brothers, with your over-confidence and incompetence. Didn't you?"
I sit up in bed, frantic, my mind racing. Faint traces of sunlight illuminate the room. I look down at my paws and sob, holding my knees.
"Kyle, what happened?...It was just a dream." I feel Kaia's paws cradling my head.
"I'm not Kyle. I'm not a person. I'm a monster." I choke, clenching my teeth. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I struggle to speak through the tears and ragged breathing.
"Shhhh, it's ok," she whispers in a soothing voice, rocking me and rubbing my back.
"No, you aren't. I know monsters, that jackal was a monster. I love my brother, but he can be a monster. You are not a monster. You are a good husband and father, you are just in pain." I don't know why, but I cry even harder.
"It's ok."
I feel her rest her muzzle on my head, for what feels like forever, but was likely just minutes. My sobbing calms to quiet crying, my breathing steadies enough to allow me to speak properly.
"I don't deserve this. Or you. I need to get out of here." Kaia releases me as I get up. "Where are you going?" She asks.
I go into the bathroom to splash water on my face. I don't recognize myself in the mirror, hazel eyes stare back at me from the mirror.
"No," Kaia says from the little hall between the toilet room and closet.
I see her in the mirror and then turn to face her.
She says in a commanding tone, "I said no. You have to come with me to Gavin's first day of school. Then we are going to Zootopia Central Hospital, for your appointment with Dr. Grover."
"I can't, I don't want to go to the hospital."
"It's not optional, if you don't go they will arrest you. And Gavin will be sad. He will wonder why his father, who just started being nice to him, left and got arrested. What do you want me to tell him?"
"I'm not... I'm not Kyle. I'm not Gavin's father, or your husband."
She pauses and takes a small step backwards, the distance she creates between us feels like the Grand Canyon. I feel sick in the pit of my stomach.
"Where IS Kyle?"
"I don't know. I just went to sleep in my apartment,and woke up here with you."
"So. Kyle came home sick, and you snuck in here, and what?"
I shake my head, no.
"No. I woke up in this body. I woke up in Kyle's body." She almost looks relieved, she steps towards me.
"So, what's your name? If you aren't Kyle, what is your name?"
"JC."
"Just two letters? J-C?"
"It's short for Jeremy Cox."
"That doesn't sound like a wolf's name,"
"I'm not-I wasn't a wolf."
"What were you?"
"I'm a human."
"I have never heard of a human before."
"Where are you from?"
"Boston, Massachusetts,"
"I have never heard of Boston Massachewsits either."
"It's a different world, dimension, I don't know. I was there, maybe I died in my sleep, and woke up here. I don't know."
She comes closer and picks a carelessly tossed aside paw towel off my sink. She carefully folds it and puts it back into the metal loop that serves as its holder.
"Dr. Grover said some mammals believe in reincarnation, and that we might have previous lives, which can be remembered or experienced." She pauses before continuing while pacing in the bathroom, "I don't know if I believe in that nonsense. But I believe in it more than two men who look, and smell, identical. One comes home, the second sneaks in, kills him, gets rid of the body, and returns all in a short period of time. And all while his light sleeping wife lays next to him."
"That doesn't make any sense." I say helplessly.
"I know, but it's that, or you are crazy. Which, frankly, is more possible and far more probable. I need you to do something." I open my mouth to speak but Kaia puts her three fingers on my lips to hush me. "Can you keep up the charade for a few more hours, just for Gavin? And then we will see Dr. Grover and maybe his new tests can produce better answers than our crackpot theory."
I nod in agreement, "I can do that."
She walks over to her sink, "What an emotional journey." She says before brushing her teeth. I just watch her until she looks up at me and says, "Unless you are thinking about how beautiful I am, brush your teeth."
I turn and put some tooth paste on my brush, "I was." My words cause her to pause mid-brush, and stare at me a moment while I brush my teeth.
"You know what you are saying, can't be true?"
"No, really, I think you are beautiful."
She shakes her head, "No, not that! The part about you being a different mammal in Kyle's body. You are just confused."
"Just because you think it's impossible, doesn't mean it is. Maybe people wake up on different earths all the time, and no one believes them."
"You said that word again, what's earth?"
"The planet I come from, what do you call your planet?"
"You're an alien too?" She sighs loudly, before saying, "OUR planet is Homeworld, 3rd from the sun. Get dressed. I'm going to wake up Gavin."
"Ok," I'm pretty confident she doesn't believe me, not even a little. I'm really afraid these tests are going to show something. I doubt they will walk into my room and call me a human. But they may find some kind of anomaly in my CAT scan, or whatever. He said I cannot refuse procedures, what if they want to lobotomizes me because I sound crazy? I have to push these thoughts out of my mind. No use stressing over something I can't immediately affect. For now I need to focus on Gavin's first day of school.
I dress in the nicest clothes I can find in my closet. A navy blue sports coat, black button down shirt, and dark grey slacks. I hope I don't look like I'm trying too hard. The smile on Gavin's little face made me relax and smile too. He's wearing his new spider-pig button down t-shirt, with black jeans, and a grey under shirt.
"You ready for your first day at a new school?" I ask Gavin.
"Yes, but also nervous. What if no one likes me?"
"Just be yourself, the rest will follow."
He has a bowl of cereal, I just watch enviously as he happily devours a bowl of Lucky Chomps. I'm so hungry, my stomach growls loudly.
"Want some?" Gavin offers me a spoon of his cereal, spilling some on the table.
"No, daddy can't eat before he sees Dr. Grover later today." Kaia says while organizing his school books.
"Yep, thank anyway, bud."
He finishes his cereal, and we head out. I carry his backpack for him. One block from my house I see that Red Fox, Nick Wilde, peddling some watches. He notices me and shoots me two thumbs up. "Looking slick, Mr. Wolf."
Kaia asks if I know that guy, I tell her I bought a few things from him, eliciting a grumble from her about probably being ripped off.
I'm surprised how busy these buses are this early in the morning. Our first metro bus is so packed I have to constantly watch my feet, so I don't step on one of the many small mammals standing in the isle. A group of lemmings in business suits stand around my legs holding my pant cuffs so they don't fall over when the bus hits a bump. I notice the other passengers don't even bat an eye at bring used as a paw rail. When in Rome, I guess.
When I get to my stop, I politely inform the lemmings this is my stop and they find other passengers to cling to.
One transfer and 3 stops later, we step off the bus in front of a massive school house, it looks like a 15th century Elizabethan mansion. Three floors tall, the second floor has multiple large balconies. The tops of the walls are crenelated, giving this school the appearance of being a castle. It sits at the center of a spacious property, completely out of place in this otherwise dense city. The outer wall is 6 feet of stone retainer wall, topped with another 8 feet of black rolled iron fence, with vicious looking points at the top curved outward slightly. The main gate into the property is a pair of massive black rolled steel doors, like the tops of the outer walls. Predator children of all species and sizes pour in through the massive gate, into the court yard. Dark green thick grass dominates the landscape, with smooth red brick walkways leading from the gate around a large fountain flanked by benches, and up to the main staircase to the building's entrance. Perfectly squared hedge walls decorate the inside of the retaining walls, obscuring the outer wall with pleasant green foliage.
Kaia walks slowly, her eyes full of wanderlust, taking in the sights. Multiple uniformed instructors patrol the courtyard, corralling the students into organized groups divided by age, or maybe class. A female cheetah wearing an instructor's uniform approach us.
"Excuse me, how may I help you?"
She holds a clipboard in her left paw tucked up nearly under her armpit.
"I'm Kyle Wulfric, this is my wife Kaia, and son Gavin."
She looks on her clipboard,
"Ah, yes, new admission, welcome to Apex Predator Learning Academy." She bends down to Gavin, "It is my pleasure to meet you, young sir. My name is Anastasia."
"I'm Gavin, pleasure to meet you." Gavin replies.
"What a perfect gentleman." She stands up tall to address us. "Would you like me to escort you to the admission office?"
"Yes, ma'am," I say.
"I can see where Gavin gets his manners from."
"Thank you, I can't take full credit. Kaia helps keep us all more civilized."
Kaia puts on a big closed mouth smile and says, "This is all so overwhelming, your school is beautiful."
"Well thank you. Right this way," She leads us up to the school while speaking, "We have created a fine learning environment for young mammals to pursue their education in a safe nurturing environment. All our students are encouraged to be themselves here, while learning proper etiquette to thrive in a prey dominated world." We enter the main entrance. The walls are made of rich mahogany, the floors have carpeting running down the middle walkway, with more hardwood flooring on the far edges. Directly inside is a reception area to our right. Bathrooms and a staircase to the left, which spirals up to a second floor.
"I'm sure it won't be an issue, but we do have a zero tolerance policy on bullying. That won't be a problem, will it Gavin?"
He shakes his head, a little intimidated by her overbearing gaze. She has some serious command presence, I felt my butt hole pucker too.
"Right this way."
She leads us into the offices near reception. A lioness sits behind a desk with a placard labeled 'Receptionist', behind her to the right is a large office door labeled 'Principal'.
Anastasia says, "New student here to see the Principal."
The lioness presses a buzzer. "New student here to see you, The Gavin Wulfric Family."
A deep boisterous voice comes out of the pager. "Honey, I've been expecting them. Send'em in!"
"Principal Lionheart will see you now."
We enter the large office, it's easily the size of our living room and kitchen combined. A large lion looks up as we enter the room, a big insincere smile forms on his face. The kind of smile you give when someone takes your photo. He looks incredibly well-groomed and manicured, his suit doesn't seem to have a thread out of place. Even his claws look neatly trimmed and glossy. He steps around his large desk and offers me his paw.
"Mr. and Mrs Wulfric! It's a pleasure to meet you both," He shakes my paw, his own holding as much of my forearm as my paw. He crouches down, "and THIS must be Big Gavin I've heard so much about, and a fellow fan of Spider-Pig!" He brandishes a spider-pig pin on his lapel. He stands up towering over all of us, "Based on your age, we'll start you in K2, you'll take a placement test after 1 week, to give big Gavin time to adjust and feel comfortable. We will change your curriculum accordingly. Would you like the 10 cent tour?"
Me and Kaia look at each other and nod, I take Gavin's paw and we follow Principal Lionheart. "Here at APLA, we teach grades pre-K-K16, hopefully the by time Gavin is old enough, we will have an accredited master's program." He leads us through the classroom explaining the schools structure. Until 8th grade, all scholastic courses are taught in their home room. Gym class is in 1 of several big gymnasiums, and they have an indoor pool. Arts and crafts are held in the shop, where they have all manner of carpentry and leather working tools. Lunch is held in homeroom until grade 3, meals are provided by the school and delivered by cart on trays. Later classes eat in the cafeteria and have more culinary options. Classrooms for grades pre-k-8 range from 24-32. They maintain a ratio of 1 instructor per 8 children. The more advanced classes have 8-12 students with a teacher and 1-2 aides. Principal Lionheart tells us about his child inclusion initiative, where no student is dissuaded from pursuing their interests. He tells us that he believes anyone should be able to be whatever they wish to be.
After our tour, we are introduced to Gavin's new homeroom teacher, Ms. Anderson, a thin Eurasian lynx, a foot shorter than myself and impeccably groomed. She wears a dark blue instructor uniform, with an apron of the same color built into it. Her voice is soft and friendly, she welcomes Gavin into her class. With mild apprehension he leaves us in the hall.
Principal Lionheart apologizes for having to leave us, but he has other students to attend to, and that we should call with any concerns or questions.
Me and Kaia watch from the corner of the window in the door. The classroom is large, with 3 rows of 12 desks formed in a semi circle around a large whiteboard in the front of the class. Beyond that are gym mats lining a 10 foot by 10 area. And even beyond that, are 2 rows of 3 large circular desks for group exercises I imagine. Ms. Anderson has all the students sit in a circle on the mats, including Gavin. They each stand up and speak for a few moments before sitting and the next follows suite. At Ms. Anderson's instruction, Gavin takes his bag to the back of the room and puts his backpack on a shelf with many others arranged neatly and then returns to his seat. He sits between a snow leopard boy and another male wolf. The snow leopard whispers something to him and he laughs. I wish I could hear what they are saying. Kaia takes me by the paw and leads me away, I resist trying to catch one last glimpse before she pulls me away.
"I'm sure he'll be fine, what was his other school like?" I ask reassuringly, mostly for my own benefit.
"Not like this" says Kaia gesturing to a mural of a rain forest painted on the vaulted ceiling.
"This school is unreal, it's so beautiful," I say, "I wish I could go to school here, think they would let me be Gavin's classmate?"
"If they do, they won't let you sit next to him, so you'll have to find someone else to cheat of off."
"I'll just sit with that snow leopard, he looked smart."
We stop for a moment, looking around the courtyard. Kaia takes a selfie of us both in front of the fountain.
We decide to leave before the faculty take notice of our tourist behavior and kick us out.
This trip distracted me from the reality of my situation.
We manage to find seats on the next bus towards the hospital to meet Dr. Grover. Kaia scrolls through pictures in her phone, I notice she has taken a lot of pictures of me when I wasn't paying attention.
"You could be a photographer." I say.
"It is one of my hobbies. I'd like to get a nice camera, one that uses real film, so I could take high quality pictures and develop it myself. But they are very expensive."
"What do you take pictures of?"
She scrolls through the pictures on her phone so I can see, looks like mostly pictures of Gavin, pictures of me, and recently pictures of me and Gavin together.
"This is one of my favorites," she says, holding up a picture of Gavin teaching me the the different animals of zootopia my second day here.
"Looks like all your pictures are of me and Gavin."
"I like to take pictures of the things I love."
I feel heat rush to my ears, I guess Kaia noticed it to, she puts her paws on my forearm.
I anxiously change the subject, I don't want to think of what might be about to happen to me, "What other hobbies do you have?"
"I play the guitar, I like to write, I really love to bake. If I had my way, I would bake all day and Gavin would be as round as he is tall." She chuckles, "I don't get to spend much time doing things for myself. I work full time, cook, clean, take care of Gavin, and you, Kyle. But I wouldn't trade it for anything, I love being a mom and a wife, I can't even imagine anything more fulfilling."
She stands up, and offers me her paw, this is our stop.
The hospital is 2 blocks from the bus stop. For how big and grandiose everything in Zootopia is, this hospital is a bit underwhelming. It's immaculately clean, I can't smell anyone that isn't in the immediately room with me. They must have air purifiers in all the doorways. Once I go from one hallway to another, I can't even follow my own scent trail.
"Kyle stop playing around." Kaia says, watching me hop back and forth through a doorway.
We follow the signs to find the Neurology Department. For looking so small on the outside, this building is a labyrinth of hallways and elevators.
A little fat female hamster nurse stands on a reception desk, clearly having a personal phone call at work. We ask her where Dr. Grover is and she just points to some chairs, not even pausing her conversation. We ask a second time and she becomes angry with us, telling whomever she was talking to that she needs to deal with some 'nonsense' then yells at us to get in our seats and she will call us when they are ready for us.
17 minutes later I know the intricacy of this Hamsters dating life, and Dr. Grover finally makes an appearance, carrying a briefcase.
"Good morning, how are you two doing today?" asks Dr. Grover cheerfully.
"Kyle had a nightmare last night, and said some weird things this morning," Kaia says.
"Wait, so did you. You had a nightmare first and said some weird things too." Kaia looks at me angrily.
"Calm, calm, let's talk over here."
"I just don't want you to hook up my brain to an EKG and try to lobotomize me or something." I say following Dr. Grover, but lagging behind a bit, while Kaia walks shoulder to shoulder with him.
"Kyle, EKG is for your heart, and no one is lobotomized for a bad dream."
We follow him into a small examination room.
"Kyle, Please take your clothes off, tell me about this dream?"
"All my clothes?"
"Down to the fur, you'll get a medical gown."
"Alright, I don't really want to talk about my dream," I say as I remove my shirt and hand it to Kaia.
"Kyle, I won't try to force you, but dreams can be a window into the inner workings of your mind. It can be helpful."
"He said he's not Kyle." Kaia volunteers.
"He's definitely Kyle, I requested his bloodwork be rushed and it was granted."
He pulls a file from his brief case and opens it.
He adjusts his spectacles, and says in surprise, "This isn't Kyle-" his words boom through my ears. My eyes dart to Kaia and her reaction, my heart sinks, I feel like the blood was just drained out of me. Kaia is just looking at Dr. Grover, she glances at me, then double takes.
"Are you ok?" She asks me placing her paw on my shoulder
"I'm sorry." I say sadly.
"Here we go, this is Kyle." Grover looks up from his brief case holding a different file. He drops it and rushes to me.
"Kyle, what are you feeling?" His paws are huge, but gentle. He sits me on the examination bench, and takes my pulse.
"I feel fine, I think I just had an anxiety attack." Thank god, it was just a misunderstanding.
"Oh, well I know you are shy, but I've seen a lot of wolf penises. I assure you, you don't have anything I haven't seen before. But if you like, I can give you a mild sedative?" Does he think I had an anxiety attack over him seeing my wolf-wiener?
I take a few deep breaths, "No, I'm fine."
"Ok. So, I found your file, and as I said, you are definitely Kyle. Same blood type and DNA, so that solves that mystery." He says playfully. "Your white cell count is elevated, but your shoulder injury could cause that. All in all, nothing I'm too concerned about."
"So I can go?"
"Not yet, I'd like to run some brain scans, and an MRI. Look for any damage or anomalies that caused your retrograde amnesia. So please, undress and put on this robe, the opening goes to the rear." So, even in a world of talking animals Drs, you wear the open backed robes.
I change into the robe, Dr. Grover has Kaia put all her metal items into a tray. He also has her take off her belt.
I follow him to a different room, with a large white cylindrical machine with a hollow middle section. I'm told to lay on a tray that slides into the cylinder and remain perfectly still for damn near 60 minutes.
"Your brain is in great health, don't see any physical damage anywhere." Dr. Grover says.
After that I'm lead into another room where they put a cap on my head, with a monitor that shows my brain. "So, this machine shows the activity of your brain. This area here is your Hippocampus, that is the memory section of your brain. I'm going to ask you a series of questions."
Kaia sits next to me and holds my paw, I notice a section of the brain lights up.
"That's a good demonstration of how this machine works. That's the pleasure center of the brain," Dr Grover says pointing at the screen. "But please don't touch him, you could skew the results."
"Kaia, please ask Kyle a question you are confident he remembers."
"Kyle, what is Gavin's favorite super hero?"
I know the answer to this, "Spider-Pig," the Hippocampus lights up.
"Excellent, ok, ask him something he doesn't know," says Dr. Grover.
"What's in my pocket right now?"
A different part, towards the front, lights up,
"I don't know."
"That's the area of the frontal cortex that is associated with creativity. When someone draws, or thinks of a story, that part lights up."
"What do you remember doing Friday?"
"I went to work, Levi was suppose to take me shooting, but he didn't show up. So, I spent the majority of my shift cleaning blood and guts out of the recycling shredder meant for plastic items."
Through my whole statement, the memory portion lit up.
"Ok, good, how about the previous Friday?
I remember going to the bar with my buddy Byron, his girl called like 4 times trying to finding where he had gone. He just left his chick with her kid to come drink with me. We played pool, I whooped his ass something viciously, our second game he only sunk three balls. I'm not super amazing, he just sucks. I can't tell them that story.
"I don't remember." My memory portion lit up the whole time, until I tried to think of a bullshit story
"Is he lying?"
"That's interesting, usually the memory potion doesn't have good activity, sometimes it does. But in this case you had strong memory activity, then strong creative process." Fuck, this is like a super sophisticated lie detector.
"What portion is that?" Kaia asks, looking irritated.
Dr. Grover takes a deep breath and exhales, before flipping the switch on the monitor.
"Amygdala, what are you afraid of?"
I hesitate.
"You are safe here, I promise nothing bad will happen to you. We aren't trying to interrogate you, we are trying to figure out what happened to you. And if we can help you get your memories back. Is there an issue with your relationship? Do you want to talk privately?"
"No, no, Kaia is great. I love her, there is nothing wrong with our relationship."
Kaia flips the monitor back on,
"Yes, say that again."
I repeat my last statement. Memory, and another part off the brain, light up.
"What part was that?" Kaia asks frantically.
"Hypothalamus, emotional part. He's not lying."
Dr. Grover goes to turn the machine off.
Before he turns it off I say, "Kaia...I love you and Gavin, I would never do anything to hurt either of you intentionally. I'm really the happiest that I've ever been, I want to be here forever."
She watches the machine as I speak, the memory and emotion centers of my brain light up.
"Why did you tell me what you told me this morning?" She asks.
Dr. Grover flipped the monitor off.
"It's ok, let's stop here. I'm satisfied that Kyle is Kyle, and that he isn't at risk of another episode or further injury."
"I'm not, I need more answers." She says,
"This isn't an interrogation, this is a medical machine for medicinal purposes. He loves you, that much is apparent. If you wish, we can continue this dialogue in a non-threatening environment another time. I can put you in the schedule for this evening at 6? Or another day."
I breath a sigh of relieve.
"You two should have a conversation. But Kaia, you need to be aware that this might be permanent, he may never remember. I'm a Dr. not a philosopher, this is Kyle, blood and bone. Some would argue that our memories make us who we are. If that is true, this Kyle is a different wolf than the Kyle who went to sleep 11 days ago."
We checkout of the hospital and sit at the bus stop out near the hospital. I look over at her, she's looking at pictures of us together.
"Are you ok?" I ask.
"I don't know. It sounds like whatever the cause, MY Kyle is lost to me."
"I'm not your Kyle?"
She rests her paw on mine.
"Are you Kyle? Or JC?"
"I'm Kyle."
"Who's JC?"
"I just had a bad dream. I was JC in the nightmare, but I'm awake now. I'm Kyle."
Her eyes study me for a moment.
"I believe you... You are Kyle now." She looks down at a picture of me playing with Gavin.
"How do you think Gavin is doing?" I ask her to distract from her current train of thought.
She looks up from the picture of us together in front of his school's fountain.
"I bet he's having the time of his life." She stuffs her phone into her hoody pocket, "Are you hungry?"
"Yes, yes I am!"
"Would you like a burrito? I know a decent place around here."
"Sure. Silly question, but where do tacos originate from?" This place doesn't have a Mexico, I wonder where Mexican cuisine comes from.
"It's just tortilla shell with chicken, or fish, beans, rice, and salsa."
"Yeah, but who was the first to make it?"
"Agouti, I think?"
"What's an agouti?"
"They are like if a rat had a baby with a ground hog."
"I don't think I want to imagine that coupling."
She wrinkled up her nose at me in disgust, "Don't imagine the coupling, just imagine the product."
"I don't want to imagine one giving birth either."
"When we place our order, I'll request they don't have sex, or give birth in your presence." She pushes me playfully before standing up, "We can walk, it's close." She takes my paws and pulls me to my feet.
We walk two blocks, on the corner there is food cart, 'Agouti Delights'. I wonder if we eat at food carts because we are poor, or because they are good.
"Agouti," I point at the rat, ground hog looking man.
He answers back, "Watcha want, wolfy?" I'm surprised by his thick Brooklyn accent. I was expecting him to sound like the Taco Bell chihuahua. I notice the only time I can smell what's inside the food cart is when it's open. It must have some kind of seal, filter or odor neutralizer built in.
"Two fish tacos, extra sauce."
"Sir, I notice I can only smell the tacos when you open the container, when it's closed, I can't smell it."
"Yeah, when it's closed, you can't smell it, when it's open you can." He says in a sarcastic and patronizing tone, " Watch, when it's open you can see taco shells, when it's closed... you can't." He says somehow even more patronizing.
"Can we please just have our tacos?" Kaia asks.
"Sure lady wolf, here is one for you, and one for your retarded son". He places one in each of Kaia's paws.
"He's my husband."
"Wow, I knew you wolves would bang anything, but did you have to marry it?"
"Hey!" I growl at the little rude creature.
"No, no!" Kaia steps in front of me.
"Good, put a muzzle on your retarded eye candy." The agouti says.
"Come, let's get out of here." She puts a taco in my paw.
"You can't growl at people, no matter how ignorant they are." She says.
"Sorry, he just made me angry. But these tacos are pretty amazing."
"He's always a dick, but the tacos are great so I keep coming back."
"Oh, well if you are ok with someone implying you'd sleep with a retard. Then the tacos are worth it," I say eating the last little bite of my taco.
"C'ya next week Kaia!" The agouti shouts.
"C'ya Frank." She shouts back.
"His name is Frank?"
"Yes, why do you sound surprised?
"I expected it to me Miguel, or Jose."
"He's an agouti, not a cacomistle."
"Why do I feel like those two animals are super similar?"
"They aren't even remotely similar." She says laughing at me.
I take her paw in my own,
"I'm retarded, if you don't hold my paw I am liable to wander off and get lost. Some mammal may even kidnap me."
"I'd find you and kill your captors," she says squeezing my paw.
"My hero."
We walk around the savanna plaza looking at stores. It's like a giant outdoor mall, not a strip mall. Literally like if a mall had no roof. On our travels Kaia stops momentarily outside of a camera shop called 'Purrfect Pictures', she looks at a camera through the window before we continue on our walk. I catch a glimpse, looks like a professional camera I'd expect someone to use to take pictures of wild life for National Geographic, the price tag in the window said sale 1400. Good lord, how much must that shit cost when it's not on sale?
We arrive at Gavin's school just before the students are let out. We find Gavin sitting in the courtyard with a bunch of other children. He spots us and runs over, "I had the best day, come meet my friends!"
He leads us to the group he was sitting with. He introduces us to his little group of friends, a jackal named Jake, Tiffany the lion, two wolf siblings , Jennie and Marco, and a snow leopard named Trevor. Of the group Trevor stood up and shook my paw. Everyone of his friends in this group were well dressed, expensive clothes. They smelled like fancy conditioner. Gavin, on the other paw, didn't look or smell fancy, but no one seemed to care. They exchanged hugs, Gavin and Trevor exchange a fancy, overly elaborate paw shake.
Gavin excitedly tells us about his day as we leave the school grounds. Among the orange school buses are limos and expensive looking cars, bringing parents to pickup their kids. I see Gavin's new friend Trevor runs out to a silver limo, vanity plate 'Icey1'.
"Can I have a carrot phone?"
Kaia looks down at him and asks "What do you need your own phone for?"
"So I can call all my new friends, and my new girlfriend."
"New girlfriend already?"
"Yeah, we met in gym, she hit me in the face with a dodge ball."
"What's her name?" Kaia asks,
"Claire, she's so fast. She's the fastest girl in her class. We ran a rally and when she passed me the stick our paws touched..." he sighed, "It was magic." He holds up the paw to show us she touched it.
I laugh, "Well, when are you going to bring her over for dinner?"
"I have to call her first, duh! That's why I need the cell phone."
"Don't talk to your father that way, where did you learn that word, 'duh'?"
"In school, duh!"
"Ok, that's enough of that." She crouches down in front of him. "Listen, saying that is very disrespectful, it's like calling someone stupid. Do you think I am stupid?"
"No, Mommy, I'm sorry. I don't think you are stupid either, Daddy." He hugs me, and I pat his back.
"Who taught you to say that word?"
"I can't tell."
"It was Trevor, wasn't it?" I ask stating the obvious.
"No! I didn't tell, please don't tell him I told!"
"You're secret is safe with me." I say.
"You don't keep secrets from us, we tell each other everything. Remember, secrets hurt. You don't want to hurt me do you?"
"No,"
"You're really good at this parenting thing."
"I should be, I have 6 years of experience. And I love kids."
"Well, day one and he's learning all sorts of things. What else did you learn today Gavin?"
"Boys have penises, girls have vaginas." Gavin says with a big smile.
I laugh, "Money well spent."