Leslie didn't much care for Ben Wyatt. Not at first, at least. At first, she hated the way he looked so unimpressed and angry and he wouldn't even be a normal person, for god's sake, all he cared about was tearing down her Parks department until she had nothing left to work for.
"Honestly, Leslie, I think you should maybe be more careful around Ben," Ann told her in her office, both of them nursing headaches from hangovers.
Leslie groaned, shoving her face into a pillow. "Ugh, you sound like Ron. I get it, Ben holds my fate in his hand like a small bird, blah blah blah."
Ann blinked. "I guess that's one way to put it."
"Hey, you encouraged me! Later that night you said I was very professional around Ben."
"I was drunk! You really expected me to be able to give great advice when I was drunk?"
"Mm, you're right," Leslie agreed. "Which is a better conversation topic, by the way, who did you make out with last night?"
For the first time, Leslie wanted to avoid talking about her own issues. She didn't like Ben. She didn't like Ben's stupid, terrible face and his skinny ties and the way he talked to her. She hated how she wanted to be nice to him but he just ruined it. Stupid, jerk, Mean Ben Wyatt. Cold and callous and an ass.
But Ron was right. Ron was always right, Leslie thought, except for when it came to government and policies. Then Ron was very wrong and Leslie was always right. Either way, she found herself in Ben Wyatt's office looking into his stupid pretty eyes.
"Leslie Knope?" he asked, and he looked genuinely surprised to see her, surveyed her a little too closely. "What brings you in here? Are you okay?"
Leslie made a face. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" She said it a little too loudly, and she winced audibly at the pain it caused her head. "Okay, shut up, don't say anything. I'm not hungover."
He blinked once. "Uh huh."
"Why do you care anyway? I don't know why it would matter to you, when all you care about is your stupid cuts and hurting real people with real feelings and I still think you're an ass."
To his credit, Ben didn't look very fazed. If anything, there was the tiniest hint of a smile on his face. "Is that all you came in here to say? That you think I'm an ass?"
She took a deep breath. Nope, nope, she had gone off again, she absolutely hadn't meant to that time. It was like he made it way too easy. "No," she breathed, and took the seat across from him. "I'm sorry. I mean, what I meant to come here and say to you is that I'm sorry, for yelling at you. All three times."
He took a second to answer her, and the whole time Leslie couldn't help but wonder if she blew it, if she was going to be fired right then and there, and then he would really face her full wrath. And then she would sob into a pillow at home until Mark came home and she would have to explain everything to him. She could picture it now. Mark could help her feel better and maybe he would even beat up Ben for firing her.
"Leslie, listen," Ben started, and Leslie held her breath. "Do you wanna grab a beer?"
That was very sudden and unexpected. Her voice went soft. "It's like ten thirty in the morning."
He closed his notes and was already starting to get up. "I think you need a beer."
It was easier to talk to Leslie than Ben could have ever imagined it would be. It was by far the best conversation they'd had, but that wasn't saying much, the bar there was so low. He didn't bring up Mark. He couldn't, not so soon. The best course of action, in Ben's mind, was just to keep a careful eye on the Parks Department and the City Planner's office. Ben didn't like to make quick assumptions or jump into things without thinking.
He would see them around sometimes. Just by chance. In the courtyard, eating lunch together, the looks he would give her. Sometimes Ben would catch her in the middle of what looked like a lively conversation, where she would throw her arms around and her face would scrunch up the way it did when he first met her, and Ben had hope that their relationship was not what it seemed like at first glance. Mark would watch her as she talked, one eyebrow raised with an amused expression, and Ben couldn't help but feel that Mark thought this was funny. The way Mark looked at Leslie was the same way Ben had seen parents look at their kids when they talked about doing impossible things.
And then Leslie would take a pause in her rant to breathe, and Mark would take the opportunity to say one thing, and then Leslie wouldn't speak again. She would just eat her lunch and keep her mouth shut.
But Ben didn't care. Nope, he didn't care one bit. He didn't know Leslie Knope, and he didn't know Mark Brendanawics. He was only going to be here for a couple more weeks anyway, and after that those names would mean nothing to him. He wasn't supposed to care, there was no room for it anymore.
So why did Ben start spending so much time in the Parks Department?
"They need the help," Ben found himself explaining to Chris, who was furiously pulling himself up and down on his pull up bar in the doorway. Talking to Chris like this wasn't ideal, it was impossible to read his face and he never knew if he was fully listening. "And the supervision. I mean, they're a mess in there."
"I trust you, Ben!" Chris shouted, not even pausing in his workout to say the words. "I bet you know how to fix it already!"
Ben coughed awkwardly. "Honestly, I don't know. Cuts are going to be hard. You saw what happened when I suggested cutting Leslie Knope."
That meeting, Ron Swanson had likely lost any and all respect for Ben that he had. It was obvious that, despite their very differing beliefs, Leslie meant something to Ron, and the rest of the Department.
Chris finally did take a moment to pause, a thoughtful look crossing over his features. "That was a very hard day, yes. But that concert was fantastic!"
Freddy Spaghetti. Ben remembered it a little too clearly. "Yeah. Fantastic."
On the day of the proposed last minute Freddy Spaghetti concert, Leslie was already in a sour mood. Stupid Ben Wyatt was ruining her entire life and ruining everyone's day- cancelling the concert?! She decided Ben was a monster. A monster who hated children and laughter and happiness, most likely.
Goddammit, she would put on this concert whether he liked it or not.
She was busy setting the rest of the Parks department to work, making sure everything was set up perfectly. She didn't think she could stand to see the disappointing looks on the kids' faces if this concert wasn't the absolute best it could be. After spending probably too much time yelling at Tom to stop flirting and get working, and desperately trying to convince Donna to let them use her Mercedes, Leslie felt ready to collapse. Not that that was an option, of course. Leslie Knope never took a break, and never backed down from a challenge.
But it all took an even bigger turn for the worse when Ron came literally sliding in, announcing that the State Auditors knew, and were coming to shut it down right at the moment.
Oh, hell no. Leslie would like to see them try to stop her. She would love nothing more than to wipe that stupid, smug look off Ben Wyatt's terrible attractive face.
She paused. Yeah, she wasn't going to tell Mark that thought.
At least Chris Traeger was nice. He was doing his job the same as Ben was, but his attitude was something that Ben should take notes on. Maybe she would make him a binder for that. She could title it How to Not Be a Terrible, Mean Person, for Ben Wyatt from Leslie Knope.
She felt her anger growing, her fingers curling into fists as he told the group he was shutting this concert down. Every part of her wanted to rip those stupid sunglasses off his face and break them in half and throw them across the park. She was so close to taking back every apology she gave him and calling him an ass and a jerk all over again.
She didn't do those things. But she did yell at him. He made it too easy to want to yell at him.
"Do you hate kids, Ben? Is that it?" she started off, hands on her hips. Ben blinked twice.
"I'm sorry? What-"
"You heard me, Wyatt. All you do since you came here is destroy everything I do, and this is for the children! The children, Ben. Maybe for once in your life do something good?"
Ben looked very startled, but besides that he seemed to be taking the yelling oddly well. He was starting to smile a little. Smile? Mean Ben was laughing at her now? "So, let me get this straight. Because I'm here doing my job and trying to save your Department from going completely underwater, I hate children?"
Leslie stuck her chin up in the air. "You do. You must. I feel sorry for whatever future children you might have, you'll probably never let them go to concerts."
A hand touched her arm right as Ben opened his mouth to respond, and she jerked to the side as if to avoid it, ready to explode some more, before she realized the touch came from Mark. She noticed Ben very quickly shut his mouth and take a step back. "Leslie," Mark whispered close to her ear. She stiffened, her face twisting into something oddly blank. "You're just going to hurt yourself by doing this."
She wanted to yell now more than ever. Mark was on Ben's side now? Leslie started to shake with something like concealed rage, but when Mark's hand wrapped around her bicep, she could hardly even breathe, let alone scream. "What are you saying?" she asked him, lowering her voice. She was still looking ahead, avoiding his face. She didn't want to see Mark's disappointed look, not now. She wouldn't be able to handle it now.
"Do you want to get fired?" Mark whispered, and though the words felt harsh, his tone was oddly gentle. Mark hardly ever raised his voice. "Maybe we should shut this down, Leslie. Don't go down over something like this."
"Why are you fighting me on this?" Leslie asked him, finding her air, speaking a little louder. She knew Ben could hear. She knew he was watching. Just seeing his eyes bore into her with that look of his made her want to cry. She didn't need his sympathy now, not when he was the one who started this.
Mark tried to tug her closer, looking and sounded exasperated, no patience for this operation. "Leslie, I didn't want to have to break the news now, but Donna told me Freddy Spaghetti isn't coming. He took a gig in Eagleton when Pawnee cancelled on him. They offered him a much bigger price."
Leslie felt her heart drop into her stomach, a physical pain that nearly caused her to double over. "Freddy Spaghetti isn't going to sing?"
His fingers ran gently down her back, but the motion did not calm her. Painful goosebumps broke out across her skin, the feel of Mark's hands like poison shooting through her system. She didn't want to be touched right now. "Babe, let's just go home," Mark said. "Let this go. It was never going to be perfect anyway."
It was never going to be perfect anyway.
Leslie Knope was not often embarrassed. But all she felt right then was shame.
That night, Mark tried to beg her to stay home, to stay in bed with him, but she couldn't. If she didn't at least try, then was she really Leslie Knope? That night, she stood on that stage herself after everything had gone wrong, after their headliner bailed and Andy landed himself in the hospital, and Mark stood to the side embarrassed and shaking his head at her. She could never have expected Freddy Spaghetti to show up anyway. And the person that brought him, made him a much better offer? She almost couldn't believe it when she looked off the stage and saw him standing there, smiling, maybe even a little nervous.
Maybe Ben Wyatt wasn't so bad after all.
Ben remembered the most clearly the look on Leslie's face when she saw him, when she realized he was the one that brought Freddy Spaghetti back. He remembered her face going through every level of emotion, from immediate shock to confused to pure happiness. A huge weight was lifted off Ben's shoulders as she smiled at him, genuinely smiled at him, bigger than he had ever seen. He liked the sight of it, and found himself wishing he could see that smile more often. He especially liked it when he was the cause of it.
Ben had watched her and Mark that day maybe too closely, straining his ears to catch every word between them. He remembered thinking that Mark didn't respect her, didn't believe in her, and for some reason Ben didn't like that Mark was agreeing with him. He didn't want Mark on his side. So, screw it. Screw it. Ben threw caution to the wind and did what he never did- he didn't think. He didn't think at all, he didn't waste any time, he used his own money to bring that concert together and goddammit, it was worth it to see Leslie smile at him like that.
Somewhere deep inside his mind, Ben realized that thinking like that was very dangerous.