The Harvest Festival went well. Ben always knew that it would, because Leslie was absolutely perfect at everything she did and how could it ever go wrong? There had been a moment there, a dark, self-pitying moment, where Ben had been convinced that if this Harvest Festival were to somehow fail, it would be because of him. Ice Town flashed through his brain and he couldn't stop thinking the word "curse" and how if anything was cursed, it was him, and that was why nothing ever went right for him.

Including the way he felt about Leslie.

Because he knew, the second he left the Festival and Leslie stared after him, that Ann had been completely right, about all of it. And the realization that his feelings for Leslie were more of the romantic kind nearly crushed him instead of making him feel lighter. Suddenly, he wanted to spend every minute with Leslie, but every second that he did was pain and jealousy and she had a boyfriend that she loved and lived with and Ben could never be it for her.

So he left the Harvest Festival that day, and he didn't come back. He couldn't stand to think that he might have been the one making it all go to hell, and he couldn't bear the way she looked at him. They did their silly little handshake that Ben had grown to love, because any small amount of contact with her was great and just being silly and dorky with her was perfect, and then Mark was there and he rolled his eyes and kissed Leslie on the lips and got her back to work. When Ben closed his eyes, he still saw that kiss in his head.

He'd chanced one look back as he left the Festival. It was a mistake. Mark held Leslie around her waist and pressed a kiss to her bright hair, and everything in Ben seized up, needing to get away as quickly as he possibly could. So he stayed away. She called him several times that night, updating him through texts that things were getting back to normal, all was going well again, and he should come back and have fun and watch Li'l Sebastian with her, but he couldn't. Just the idea of standing next to her with Mark on her other side hurt too much to bear.

She stopped calling him around the fourth day of the Harvest Festival. For some reason, this hurt Ben more than anything else.

/

Leslie was mad at Ben.

Very mad, not just annoyed, but absolutely and completely pissed off at him, because how dare he? They had spent months and months on late nights and notes and planning and meetings and prepping for this Harvest Festival for the Parks Department, only for him to bail just as things started to go wrong. And then he didn't even have the nerve to come back once and check up on the Festival? To check up on her?

"Ann, your boyfriend sucks."

Ann squeezed her eyes shut and groaned. "For the last time, Ben is not my boyfriend so please stop saying that because it makes me feel weird. And makes Ben feel weird. And likely Chris."

"Do you think I care how Ben feels?" Leslie hissed, gripping the edge of her desk. "I hope he feels weird because he's a jerk and… and I should've known he was from the beginning."

"Honestly, Leslie, I feel like you should just talk to him about it. It's probably a big misunderstanding," Ann said, always the reasonable one. But Leslie didn't want reason just then, she wanted anger and unjustified rude remarks and lots of whipped cream to stress eat. "You're going to Andy and April's party, right? I know that he got invited too."

Leslie scrunched up her face. "If he goes then I'm going to avoid him the entire time. You can talk to him and maybe make out with him. I think he sucks, Ann, but you don't have to think that."

"Oh, absolutely not. I am not going to that party and I'm definitely not going to make out with Ben. That's a non-starter."

"Wait, what? Why not?"

"I'm not into Ben! Honestly, Leslie, and he isn't into me either-"

"No, not that!" Leslie waved her hand. "Although, you won't know he isn't into you until you talk to him… but that's not the point! Why aren't you going to the dinner party?"

Ann groaned, slumping back in her usual chair in Leslie's office. Thank god Tom wasn't there at that moment, he was off doing… whatever the hell it was that Tom did when he wasn't in his office. "It's Andy's dinner party, I don't want to go to a party that my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend are hosting, they wouldn't even want me there! No, no, I have other plans. But you, Leslie, are going to go to that damn party and talk to Ben!"

"I'll talk to Mark and avoid Ben more like it," Leslie muttered, refusing to look at Ann as she dove into her work binders. Ann just sighed and shook her head, and Leslie pretended she didn't see.

/

As much as Leslie tried to avoid Ben that day, staying out of his path when they both worked in City Hall was proving to be a very difficult accomplishment. It was much later that day, out in the courtyard when Leslie was eating a quick lunch alone, that Ben actually seemed to actively seek her out.

Leslie stiffened, avoiding looking into his eyes. "Well," she said, not even trying to hide her icy tone. "Look who decided he wanted to show his face again."

Ben sighed, dragging his hand over his face. "Leslie, I'm really sorry about the Harvest Festival-"

"Are you, Ben? Are you really? Because if you were, you might have bothered to show up even ONCE for the several days it was open. You couldn't even call me and tell me what the hell was wrong." Leslie felt her anger rising already, but what was worse, she also felt the sadness building. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of Ben, not when she was mad at him and trying to yell at him and make him feel bad.

He did look hurt, there was that. He kept shifting back and forth on his feet, and his hands were shaking, unable to look at her, looking everywhere in the courtyard but at her. "I'm sorry, god, I'm so, so sorry, Leslie, I didn't know what to tell you-"

"Anything! You could've told me ANYTHING, Ben! I get it, you're scared of Ice Town and you thought you were the curse. From what I can tell, you mismanaged the hell out of it and it was entirely your fault."

He closed his eyes. "Wow, why even say that?"

"I thought you were better than running away, though, Ben. We worked so hard on this for months, made me get into a fight with my boyfriend, just for you to ditch me at the last second and leave me to deal with the consequences."

When Leslie chanced a look at him, a real look at him, she could see the effect her words had on him. For a moment, seeing his hurt felt really, really good, like some kind of sick revenge for making her hurt for days on end after he left her stranded. And she still had so much to say.

Ben was still shaking, his hands running through his hair and leaving it sticking up on end. "You… you got into a fight with Mark?"

She threw her hands up in the air. "I did! Of course I did! All I did for months was stay up all night and work with you and it put a strain on my relationship, for you! Are you happy, Wyatt?"

He shook his head over and over again. "No, no, I'm not, I'm sorry, I never meant to… but…" Ben took a deep breath, clenched his hands tight, and when he exhaled, he looked a little more stable. "But maybe I'm not sorry about that part, actually. Because he should have understood how much this Festival meant to you and he should have supported you, it never should have started any kind of fight-"

"Shut the HELL up, Ben," Leslie hissed, and she was so upset then that she stood from her table. She was still shorter than Ben, standing didn't make much of a difference, but it was worth it for the way he backed up and away from her. "Stop being such a hypocrite when it comes to Mark. You get mad at him for things and then you turn around and make me feel worse. Don't get mad at him for not understanding my love for the Festival when you left me high and dry and never came back. What can you possibly say to explain that?"

Ben was back to trembling, and she watched the way he became speechless all over again, the way this was clearly torturing him but goddammit, Leslie didn't care. She would care, she knew she would care tomorrow, or maybe even a couple hours, because Ben had become one of her closest friends, but just then she was seeing red and all she wanted to do was explode and cry and tell Ben she never wanted to see him again even if she really, really didn't mean that.

Ben choked on nothing, his voice wavering, too soft, too sad. "I have no explanation. None that would make sense, nothing to justify my behavior. I made a stupid mistake because… because I was drowning in self pity and I hated myself and, fuck, Leslie, I hated seeing Mark and the way he treated you, and the way he walked around as if he was just waiting for something to go wrong, and I couldn't stand being there because I think you deserve better-"

"You have no right to tell me what I deserve!" she screamed at him, fully exploding now, and she just knew her face was red and there were tears in the corners of her eyes. "Stay the hell out of my relationship, it has NOTHING to do with you, and it's disgusting how much you care about this when it's my problem and my choice."

Ben was crying. Oh god, Ben was crying, and trying so hard to hide it, but she saw the way he attempted to discreetly wipe his hand across his cheek. "I just wanted you to be happy-"

"THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!" Leslie pushed Ben away from her when he moved closer, backing further and further away the angrier she felt. "Leave me the fuck alone, fuck you, Ben, can't you see you're the one that's hurting me and not Mark?"

"I never wanted to, please-"

"GO AWAY! I swear to you, get out of my face and leave me alone." Her breathing was so heavy, her heart pounding, all she saw was a blur and her body was in so much pain she felt like she was going to collapse. What's worse, she hardly knew what was wrong with her at all. Why did Ben have this effect on her? Just him leaving at the Festival made her feel like the world was ending and when he wouldn't call her back, like she was nothing at all, and now as she pushed him away from her, she felt like she would never recover.

But still, she couldn't stop herself. It was as if the only way she could feel better again was if Ben was gone. Because if he was gone, just seeing his face wouldn't hurt her or haunt her anymore.

And Mark wouldn't fight with her anymore, making her feel insignificant. Mark, who had asked her to cut Ben out.

Leslie took a deep breath, and her next words were calmer, more even toned, because she didn't want to give Ben the satisfaction of her yelling at him when she knew just how much he would have wanted that. "Do you really want to make me happy, Ben? Do you really want to fix this?"

When he opened his mouth, his words came out a desperate gasp. "Yes. More than anything, yes."

"Then stay away from me," she spat. "I never want to see you again."

And Leslie turned and walked away, back to her office, wiping away her tears so that Ben wouldn't see them. She didn't look back at him, didn't want to see the damage done, because she didn't want to admit that she already regretted doing it.

At least Mark would be happy.