Ben tried not to let it hurt him too much, he really tried. He told himself over and over again she didn't mean it, and then he insisted it was a dream and it didn't happen at all, and then he tried to not care about it at all. He pretended he was fine and none of it mattered, that she made her choice, and he didn't even want to talk to Leslie anyway and- oh god. He couldn't do this.

All his resolve came crashing to the floor an hour before Andy and April's dinner party when he found himself pounding his fist on Ann's door. She threw it open with an exaggerated look, but paused when she realized it was him. "Oh god, Ben, I was about to yell at you for the noise, but you look… what the hell happened to you?"

"Alcohol," he said simply. He hadn't drinken that much, really, just enough to get him by, enough that it was working very well as a depressant and Ann absolutely saw the tears in his eyes. "Operation: Save Leslie is off."

Ann stared at him and sighed. "Come in, come in. I was going to go to this Single's Mixer, but… you look like you need the company and honestly I think I would rather do anything in the world right now over that. Take a seat, I'll get you some water."

Ben sunk into Ann's couch, stretching tentatively, feeling wrong, and off. "I don't need water."

"Too bad, I don't care what you think you need," she snapped at him, pushing a glass into his hands that he felt he couldn't refuse. He took a small sip and squeezed his eyes shut. What the hell was he even doing here? "What do you mean by Operation: Save Leslie is off? What happened?"

"She hates me," Ben choked, looking at his feet. "We can't… I can't… I can't do anything if she hates me."

Ann raised a brow. "Okay, did she actually say she hates you or are you maybe being dramatic?"

"I'm not! I mean, she didn't say it really, but she might as well have said it." At the look Ann shot him, he wanted to kick his feet like a child. "I'm not being dramatic! Leslie said she never wanted to see me again. That was what she really said. That I had to leave her alone because I was… I was hurting her…"

Ann's face softened instantly, but that didn't erase the confusion etched on her features. She took too long to answer him, and all Ben could do was sit on her couch while his hands wouldn't stop shaking and his mind wouldn't shut off and god, he fucked up. He really and truly fucked up. "That… that doesn't sound like Leslie."

"Well she said it! She said it and she meant it and she hates me, so this stupid Operation is off and that's all I came here to tell you."

"I don't understand, why wouldn't she have texted me that this happened? Leslie texts me if she sees a bug on the sidewalk, why wouldn't she mention fighting with you?"

Ben shrugged, pushing the water away from him and pressing his head into his hands. "What do you want me to say about that? It happened and that's the truth, I can't explain her texting habits."

Ann rolled her eyes. "No, but I can, you baby. I don't think Leslie's okay. Honestly, I kind of think Mark might have set her up to this."

"Okay, now you just sound like a conspiracy theorist."

"No, Ben, I'm serious. Mark gets weird when he gets jealous, and it's not the first time he's tried to get Leslie to stop talking to a guy. There was this cop Dave once…"

Ben waved his hands, cutting Ann off. "No, stop. I don't want any kind of false hope. Even if that were true, that doesn't mean she'll talk to me again. It doesn't matter. She'll get her wish."

Ann moved to sit next to him, her eyes darkening. "What do you mean? You both work at City Hall, and Chris told me he offered you that job as Assistant City Manager…"

"I'm not going to take it," he insisted. "I can go back on the road, as a State Auditor. They asked me to, I can leave Pawnee and Leslie will get her wish and everything will go back to normal. Great? Great." Ben stood, took a large drink from his water glass, and held his hand out to Ann as if to shake it. "It was really nice knowing you, Ann, I will not remember it fondly."

"Benjamin Wyatt, you shut the hell up right now, you're not going anywhere."

"How are you going to stop me?" Ben hissed. "It's a good, decent job, doing what I've always done, hacking up budgets and ruining people's lives. Clearly that's all I was ever meant for."

Ann looked ready to tear her hair out, grabbing Ben by the shoulders and forcing him to look at her. "Listen to me, Ben. I'm gonna be honestly, the last thing I want to do right now is listen to your pity party. What we're going to do is go to Andy and April's party."

"Oh god, please, she'll be there, I can't do that—"

"Too bad! I didn't want to go either, but now we are, and you're going to suck it up. I'm going to figure this out and if by the end of the night you still feel like leaving Pawnee… then I'll let you go. I won't try to stop you. Okay?"

Ben took a long time to answer. Too many things could go wrong. He sighed. "I better not regret this."

/

Ben kept himself very reserved as he walked into Andy and April's house for the party, wanting to keep to himself and not make a big deal out of anything he did. Of course, the minute he and Ann walked in, there was a large shout.

"HEEEY! Ann and Ben the Nerd are here!" came a voice that could only be the one and only Tom Haverford, who seemed to appear out of thin air, clapping Ben's shoulder and causing him to flinch.

"Do you have to call me that every time?" Ben muttered, rubbing his shoulder, completely confused by his own friendships with the Parks Department. God, did they love him or hate him? Ben probably shouldn't have spent as much time with them as he had leading up to the Harvest Festival. It would've been easier to leave them all.

As Tom forced Ann into a very affectionate hug, Ben noticed that, unfortunately, Tom's shout had alerted just about the entire house to their presence. Andy shouted with glee, clapping down on Ben's shoulder in the same spot Tom did, except with Andy, the action nearly brought him to his knees. He winced, accepting a bear hug from Andy, as April seemed to slide in out of nowhere.

"I don't see any 3D capable TV, Ben," April said, with a bite on his name, and all Ben could do was shrug. He'd been asked to bring way too much to this party he didn't even want to go to, and now April was probably going to kill him in his sleep. Great.

Ben stumbled and stammered over his words. "I… I just, you know… there wasn't time to get one?"

April's expression didn't change. "Did you at least bring the 3D glasses?"

He gave her a weird look. "What good would the glasses be with no 3D TV?"

"Andy wanted to wear them around the house and pretend he's a superhero."

Andy took that precise moment to toss a football over everyone's heads and knock over several glasses, the people closest scrambling to avoid the mess. Ben sighed and rubbed his brow. "Why am I not surprised?"

Ann tugged on Ben's arm and whispered in his ear. "Whatever you do, don't look behind you."

"If you say that, that just makes me want to look more— oh." Ben turned, and the first thing he saw was bright blonde hair, large fingers brushing through her curls. Mark had a tight grip on Leslie, the hand not in her hair wrapped securely around her waist, leading her around the room. Ben understood why Ann wouldn't want him to look now. He clenches his fists with a need to even his heart rate, hoping Leslie hadn't seen him yet, that she didn't know he was here.

No. She looked at him. Leslie looked Ben directly in the eye, a flash of emotions across her features, before she very pointedly grabbed Mark by the front of his shirt and tugged him down for a kiss. Ben looked away with a very red face.

"This was a mistake," he told Ann frantically. "I shouldn't have come."

"Ben, you need to relax. We will figure this out, okay?" she told him, but even Ann couldn't stop watching Leslie and Mark. "Just go sit down, get yourself a beer, relax, okay?"

Ben shuddered, but accepted the Miller Lite Tom passed his way, sitting down on the couch next to him. Ann walked away, in Leslie's direction, and Ben tried his hardest not to watch their exchange.

"Dude, are you okay?" Tom asked him, but Ben knew better than to mistake his asking for genuine curiosity. "You look like Game of Thrones got cancelled."

Ben sucked in a breath. "Okay, first of all, they would never cancel Game of Thrones—" the look Tom gave him made Ben pause, shake his head. "Never mind, you don't care. I'm fine, I'm just…" You know what? Screw it, Ben thought. Why not tell people? See if Leslie heard about it, figure out her reaction? "Actually, I'm thinking of leaving Pawnee."

Something almost real flashed across Tom's face, but disappeared way too quickly. "Well, I'd be sorry to see you go, man. It feels good to have you around, makes me feel better about myself."

Ben blinked, a little taken back. "Wait, really? Tom, that's—"

"Yeeeeah, don't take that as a compliment, Ben. I mean that, when I see you, I feel better because I know that I'm NOT you." Tom clicked his tongue, stood up, and flashed finger guns at Ben. "Tommy out."

Ben shook his head, alone again, and took a longer drink of his Miller Lite. He shouldn't take it personally, he knew that's just how Tom was, how he hid behind insulting humor, but still. Ben couldn't help but think maybe Pawnee really was better off without him.

Leslie was probably better off without him.

/

"Ann!" Leslie hissed, having been pulled away from Mark for the third time that night. "I already told you, I don't want to talk about it—"

"Too bad, Leslie!" Ann snapped, and her reaction made Leslie stop fighting. "I'm your best friend, so you better talk about it, because that's the rules of best friendship. You said it yourself."

God, Ann was good. Leslie had said that, very many times. But still. It was just so hard for Leslie to talk about, especially with Mark so close, and when she knew Ben was in the room. God, why did Ben have to be in the room? It was killing her to see him, everytime their eyes met she had to distract herself to keep from talking to him, dragging Mark into kisses she didn't even want to give him.

"Look, Ann…" Leslie sighed, watching Mark out of the corner of her eye as he started up a conversation with Ron, Tom, and Jerry. "It's just hard, okay? But it's for the best. Ben let me down, and I needed to let him go. Friendships just fade sometimes."

Ann stared at her for several long seconds. "Have you been body snatched or something? The real Leslie Knope that I know and love would never EVER insist that sometimes friendships 'just fade.' I mean, coming from the woman who makes me friendship cookies and bracelets every week!"

"Mm, I think I should up it to twice a week actually, I have more time on my hands now that I'm not talking to Ben—"

"Leslie, I swear to god, if you don't tell me what's going on right now, I will… I will go to Sue's Salads. And eat a salad. And LIKE it."

Leslie gasped dramatically, a hand to her heart. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, I would! Spill, Knope. Now."

Leslie pouted, wanting to stomp her feet like a child. She did, actually, unashamed of it. "Mark doesn't trust him, okay? He thinks he has some kind of ulterior motive, said it would be better for me if I stopped talking to Ben. Are you happy?"

"Oh my god, Leslie, no!" Ann hissed. "Since when the hell do you let a man make that kind of decision for you? Hello, feminist icon? Do we need to go to your office and look at your wall of inspirational women?"

Leslie opened her mouth to answer, but was immediately cut off by Andy taking the microphone, addressing the room at large.

"Attention!" Andy screamed into the mic, and the crowd flinched. "Madams and…. others. Big event in that room in ten minutes." And then, as if he just couldn't contain himself any longer, he burst out, "It's a wedding ceremony! April and I are getting married! Go, go, go!"

"Andy!" April whined, showing up at his side in a different dress, a white one covered by a jacket. "You weren't supposed to say anything yet!"

"Oh, babe, I just couldn't keep it in any longer, and you look so HOT…" Andy gasped and covered his face with his hands. "Babe stop! I told you already I can't look at you yet!"

Leslie's eyes were practically bulging out of her head and this announcement. "Oh my god, Andy and April are getting married?" While terrible news, Leslie also considered this fantastic news. There was nothing like stopping an entire wedding to keep her mind off of Ben-related matters. "I'm sorry, Ann, I loved talking to you and you're a beautiful sorceress princess, but I'm done talking about this because I have to throw myself into stopping this wedding. Bye!"

/

Maybe Ben did it because he had a little too much to drink at that point. Or maybe it was because everyone he talked to seemed to accept him leaving Pawnee, despite them insisting they would be sad to see him go. Maybe it was Andy and April's sudden wedding, seeing April walk down the aisle, the two exchange odd vows, the speeches that followed.

Or maybe it was just because Mark Brendanawics was a dick.

The party continued after the wedding ceremony, almost everyone in much higher spirits, except for Ben, and except for Leslie, who had spent so much time trying to stop this wedding only to leave it alone in the end. She sat with Ron in the back of the room, talking with downcast eyes, but for once, Ben wasn't watching her. He was watching Mark, who had taken the momentary loss of his girlfriend on his arm to go around and tell everyone about her. Not in a way a boyfriend should, no. Not at all.

"It's a miracle the Harvest Festival worked out at all, honestly," Mark was saying to a group of people Ben didn't even know. "I'm pretty sure I was holding my breath the entire time, I didn't want Leslie to get her hopes up." Mark laughed then, prompting the others to do the same.

"Yeah, I've heard she can be kinda… erratic," someone said. Mark rolled his eyes.

"God, that's a nice way to put it," he said. "I was prepared to serve her wine for weeks after it failed, she'd be destroyed. I love her, god I do, but she just shoots too damn high sometimes, you know?"

"How did the Festival even succeed anyway?"

Mark snorted. "Hell if I know. She must have had a ton of help."

"Say that again," Ben said.

Mark froze, turning around and looking for the source. "Ben?"

"Say that again," he repeated, clutching his beer so tightly in his hands he feared it might shatter. "Go on, say it. Say it louder so everyone can hear you."

Ben stood up as Mark walked closer to him, looking him up and down. Mark was taller than Ben was, stronger. He could easily take him down. Ben didn't care just then. He was seeing red. "Look, Ben," Mark whispered, in that same goddamn condescending tone he used on Leslie all the time, "what are you doing, man? Go home, I think you've had a bit too much to drink."

"NO!" Ben shouted, and it was loud enough now that the crowd started to quiet, parting for Ben and Mark, watching this event unfold. He saw Leslie stand up out of the corner of his eye, saw Ann reach out to stop her from coming over. "No, you need to go home, asshole. Say that shit about Leslie one more time, I dare you."

Mark's usually vacant features suddenly turned darker, angrier. "You'd be better off staying out of my business, Wyatt. None of this is yours to talk about."

Ben was furious now, the alcohol coursing through his veins, making him much braver than any given day. "No! No, I'll say whatever I want when all you've done is be a jerk and a terrible boyfriend to her. You take back that shit you said about her now."

Mark was silent for a long moment, looking around at the now deadly quiet crowd that surrounded them. "Or what?" he whispered.

"NOW!" Ben screamed, pushing furiously at Mark's shoulders, but it didn't mean anything. "SAY SORRY!" He pushed and he pushed, but Mark didn't even budge, looking at him like he was a nuisance more than anything else. Mark grabbed Ben's wrist and gently pushed him off of him.

"Go home, Ben," Mark said, much too calm, and that broke something in Ben. "Go sleep it off, and I'll try not to hold this against you. Go home."

The room went blurry, spinning strangely, and Ben's entire body started to shake. He didn't regret it. He couldn't regret it, not when Mark said all those awful things. Leslie could do more in one day than Mark could in his entire lifetime. Ben started to breathe too heavily, and looked for Ann in the crowd.

"I'm going," he said, and realizing Ann wouldn't hear him from here, he shouted it again. "I'M GOING! And don't try to stop me, Ann. It's… it's over."

/

Leslie's eyes widened as a very drunk and screaming Ben grabbed his phone and called himself a cab, running out of Andy and April's house at top speed. She had no clue what to do. Did she go after him? No, no, of course not, he just yelled at her boyfriend after a wedding ceremony. She didn't know what warranted the yelling, what Mark might have been saying, but there's no way he deserved it. Right?

She went to move, to go anywhere but here, maybe stress eat whipped cream, when Ann grabbed her shoulders and spun her around to face her. "Leslie, you better listen to me right the hell now, no more avoiding this."

"Ann, stop it!" Leslie cried, trying to pull herself from her best friend's grasp. "I just… I need to go, I really need to go home—"

"No, what you need to do is go to Ben. Right now."

She threw up her hands. "Why the hell would I do that?—"

"Because he's trying to leave Pawnee, Leslie!" Ann screamed, and it was the first thing she said that really and truly made a Leslie stop in her tracks.

Her voice was breathy, barely there. "He… what?"

"Ben is trying to leave Pawnee. He was offered his job back as State Auditor, he's planning to turn down Chris's offer as Assistant City Manager." Ann was speaking so fast she was gasping to get the words out. "I tried to give him one reason to stay, Leslie, but he wouldn't budge. You need to go to him, stop him, right now, before both of you make decisions you're going to regret for the rest of your lives."

This time, and only this time, Leslie didn't even try to fight Ann on this. She set her jaw, raised her chin, and took a deep breath. "I will," she said. "Ben has to stay in Pawnee."

She was grabbing her car keys and rushing out in seconds. She didn't even hesitate.

All Leslie knew was that she needed Ben to stay.