Welcome one and all to the next chapter of Aloha Madness! I'm your host as always The Crazy Man! And yes bitches, I'm back from my hiatus! And you all love it, so a few notes that I read from your reviews, yes I'll probably get kinky, but not super kinky...yet. Maybe train Naruto with needleplay and electro later for the exams. Anko will have...a special place for the Insane Gentleman, but I'll get to that later! ANYWAYS ON YOUR KNEES AND SAY "THANK YOU DADDY!" ON WITH THE SHOW!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, in fact, I'm owned.
"Hey this is how people talk in this story."
'This is how they think.'
"This is anything else if the author decides it"
Chapter 12: Grading Insanity
The room was silent enough you could hear a pin drop, the only sound being the genin and chunin scratching along with their pencils. Ibiki himself was staring at Kyōki, who was staring back.
'What is going through that man's head? He must be strong enough to resist my mind games, let's do a little test.' Nodding to an examiner, he started calling out Teams. "Genin numbers 43, 72, 57, 83, and 98! GRAB YOUR TEAMS AND LEAVE!" The Genin he called out stood up and started shouting, one of them shouted for the rest of them.
"THERE IS NO WAY I WAS CHEATING! THIS IS FAVORITISM!" The genin was swiftly choke slammed into the ground, hard enough to leave a mark on the floor. And holding his throat was none other than our favorite crazy man, Kyōki.
"Listen you cum stain, I am the last person who wants to hear about favoritism, if you actually noticed around you, 1 genin team is actually from Konoha! GET WRECKED SON!" Kyōki then threw the genin towards Ibiki, "hey scarface! Control your toys or I'll break them!" He then went back and stood aside Naruto, who was still currently trying to figure out the test.
'Holy fuck, I like this guy's style, didn't need the scarface comment though.' Ibiki thought as the chunin took the genin out of the exam room. Throwing a kunai at another genin, impaling her poor test sheet, "YOU FAIL GO AWAY!"
We flash to the other genin, who all figured out the reason behind the test, cheating without getting caught. Sasuke, Hinata, and Neji were all using their dojutsu to copy the answers, Kiba had Akamaru barking the secrets, Ten Ten was using some sort of mirror contraption to reveal the genin's sheets to her and Lee. Sakura answered the questions easily because her brain is the only useful part of her, Shino had his bugs talk to him, and Naruto...Well he was still freaking out.
'OH FUCK I CAN'T ANSWER ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS! I'M GOING TO FAIL!' Naruto thought sweating hard, like he just went 8 rounds with Kyōki training him.
At the last 15 minute mark, Kyōki told the room, "Hey everyone! Want to see a magic trick?" At this, even Ibiki was interested, leaning towards the crazy inmate. "I can make this test disappear!" Grabbing a genin's test who already turned his over, and Naruto's, who didn't have a single thing written on it. He swapped them. No noise, no smoke, no tricks, just straight moved the two. The genin he took it from was furious. Standing up to Kyōki though, is a bad move. But this kid thinks he's tough.
"WHAT THE FUCK! YOU TOOK MY TEST!" Genin dumbass said, while getting in Kyōki's face, Ibiki, wanting to see how this played out, let this go on.
"What test? You wrote in pencil, my little fox writes in pen." Naruto, blushing at his pet name looked down and saw that his paper was in fact, written in pen and had all the answers filled out. The genin looked shocked knowing that he can't even erase the ink, slumped back in his chair, but he noticed that the other paper in front of him was completely gone.
"Also, for trying to be a little shit, Insanity Style: Spark of Madness." Kyōki then blew sparks out of his mouth, lighting the test in front of him on fire. Ibiki saw what he was doing and was deeply surprised.
"WAIT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THE TEST NOW?" The genin screamed out, looking to Ibiki for help.
"GENIN NUMBER 33, YOU FAIL GET THE HELL OUT WITH YOUR TEAM!" Ibiki screamed at them, blasting a little Killing Intent to really get them moving. The genin's teammates, angry at Kyōki, charged him, forgetting how easy he picked up the first genin.
Naruto paid no mind as was currently munching on a snack that Kyōki brought for him, he looked up at the sounds of gasps, as the two genin were held up by their collars, the shirts constricting their airflow.
"Little fox, what would you like me to do to these heathens? These two are not even worthy enough to BREATHE THE AIR MY BACTERIUM EXIST ON!" Kyōki losing control for a little there, shaking the two genin till they were white as a sheet.
Gaining a sick grin, Naruto told Kyōki, "Tie them up then hang them up in such a way that everyone can know their shame." Kyōki, showing all teeth, bent over and kissed Naruto on the forehead, "It shall be done my little fox."
Blurring away with the two genin, Kyōki disappeared from the room. Ibiki looked over to Naruto, who was currently sporting a small blush while looking down at his test. Walking up to him, Ibiki looked down, leaking KI to get Naruto's attention.
"Is there any reason why I shouldn't fail you right here and now and take away your chance of being a chunin?"
"That's easy, he never got a test, therefore, he could never cheat, to get points taken off. Also, he's not part of my team. Just a familiar. So whatever he does, it won't matter to the rest of the team." Naruto responded while still having a small blush from Kyōki's public display.
The chunin in the room, were so surprised at Naruto's revelation, seeing how a genin outsmarted Ibiki.
Said torture specialist smirked and replied, "Good job kid, where did you find him though?"
"WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE!" Kyōki blurred back into the room, while glomping Naruto. Ibiki was shocked, no one usually gets past him. Turning away from our favorite pair, he went to the front of the room.
"Alright, pencils down, time for the last question. However, there is a certain rule. You may choose to take the question or not too. If you don't take the question, your entire team fails and you get the fuck out of my classroom."
"What kinda question is that? Then of course we will take the question!" A random genin stands up before getting an eraser embedded in his forehead.
"Thank you Kyōki, the reason being, if you fail the question, you will be barred from ever becoming a chunin ever again." "GET FUCKED GENIN." Kyōki started laughing as the genin started yelling and crying out in horror.
"SILENCE MAGGOTS!" Kyōki and Ibiki both screamed at the genin, looking at each other they gave a quizzical look to each other. Ibiki continued, "This is your unlucky year maggots, I'm in charge. And if you fail this question, not even the Kage's can over rule me."
As his speech ended, the genin started dropping like flies, finally about 26 genin teams remained, including all the genin that actually mattered.
"No more takers?" Seeing the genin looking determined, Ibiki smirked. "All of you! YOU PASS!"
All the genin, except Naruto, as he was currently cuddling into Kyōki, face planted into the ground.
"As chunin, you must gather information, without getting caught, if you are caught, destroy the evidence. As chunin, you must be able to give it an all-or-nothing chance! If you fail, it means your life." As he says this, Ibiki takes off his bandana, showing off the scars on his head, "This is the price of failure, the price of information." He feels a breeze next to him.
"No this is the price of failure." Taking off his coat, the girls and Naruto blush at Kyōki's form, whispering "Kai." his scars popped back out, now all the girls in the room immediately started retching, while Naruto drooled.
Putting his coat back on, he tackles Naruto, "INCOMING!"
Ibiki had little time, as a black blur slammed through the window, revealing a banner: INTRODUCING, THE SEXY, SINGLE, CRAZY, ANKO!
The person in front of the banner, well, left little to the imagination, sporting a wicked grin, and almost a see through top, Anko Mitarashi stood in front of the room. "WELCOME TO MY PLAY TIME KIDDIES!"
Kyōki looked up and licked his lips, "I smell, SNAKE!"
WELL THERE Y'ALL GO! Another chapter written while I'm at work nonetheless! I have a day off so I probably won't write as I'll be getting whipped and spanked and all that. As always, leave a review, share the story if you think others will like it, and hey I hope you have a great day! And as always, I will see you, in the next chapter!
-The Crazy Man