Leslie didn't think life could get any worse for her. She was still with Mark and completely lost on how to break up with him, Ben was being distant with her with no explanation as to why, work was picking up, and then the final shoe dropped, the last straw that broke her: Li'l Sebastian died.

Li'l Sebastian had become more than a mini horse to her. He was a symbol of the success of the Harvest Festival, something she did all on her own. Something she started with Ben, but even when he ditched her, she was strong enough to pick up the pieces and do it herself. That mini horse was a symbol that she could do things even when Mark didn't believe in her and Ben wasn't there to pick her up, and goddammit that was all she was thinking about as she cried in her office that day.

It was Ron that came to see her first. Well, he didn't come into her office, no, because Ron would never willingly walk into someone else's office to talk. His summons came with a very loud yell of, "KNOPE!" and Leslie knew better than to keep him waiting. She wiped her tears as best she could, smoothed out her clothing, and went to meet him. She didn't fool him. Leslie could never fool Ron.

"I hate that I'm about to ask you this," Ron sighed, his mustache bristling, "but are you doing alright, Knope?"

Leslie plastered a bright, fake smile on her face and gave him two thumbs up. "Yup! So good!"

"Excellent. Get back to work, then—"

She instantly broke down into sobs, unable to hold the lie, and collapsed into the bench across from Ron's desk. "NO. I'm not okay, thanks for asking, Ron."

"Good lord, woman, pull yourself together," he told her, and he clicked the remote on his desk to slam his office door shut. He didn't move to comfort her, but Leslie would never expect that of him. That wasn't the kind of help Ron offered, and Leslie appreciated him for his own unique abilities. "This isn't about some half-witted bureaucrat, is it? I saw the flag at half mast when I walked in this morning."

Leslie had been the one to bring the flag down. After she heard the news, she did it as soon as she could, feeling that for the moment, it was the least she could do for Li'l Sebastian. "No, not anyone in City Hall," she sniffled, and looked him directly in the eye to deliver the news. "Ron, Li'l Sebastian died. It was for him."

Ron's face instantly fell, something so rare for him that it just broke Leslie's heart further, prompting another round of sobs. "Just half mast for Li'l Sebastian?" he asked her, his eyes wide and tinted with red already. "Show some damned respect."

She couldn't stop crying, holding her face in her hands and already resigning to the fact that she would have to redo all her makeup before facing the rest of the department with the news. "It's just so… so awful, Ron, can you imagine anything more awful than this?"

Ron groaned, long and annoyed, before finally commenting again. "As heartbreaking as this death is, Leslie, I highly doubt that's the real reason you're sobbing like a lunatic in my office."

"Maybe," she sniffed, incapable of lying to Ron. "Can I ask you something?"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"I'll make it as vague as possible."

Ron didn't respond to this, so Leslie took that as an enthusiastic yes.

"Great," she said, and got up from the bench to start pacing around his office. "I have a problem, Ron. A great, big problem that I've been avoiding thinking about and… running away from my responsibilities, but Li'l Sebastian died and it reminded me of all that, and… the one person I really want to talk to is avoiding me and the one person I probably should talk to is becoming someone I want to avoid. I'm losing my mind here, Ron!" Her voice grew more and more shrill as she went on, but to Ron's credit, he let her talk, moving only to pour himself a glass of whiskey.

"I can't tell you what to do, Leslie," Ron said. "Because that's never worked before. You do what you want no matter what I say."

Leslie wanted to stomp her foot. "Gee, thanks, Ron, that's very helpful."

"But I can tell you what the Leslie I know would do. The Leslie I know doesn't run from her responsibilities. If anything, she chases them. Whatever it is, you need to be honest with yourself, and honest with the people around you. If the person you should talk to is someone you don't want to talk to, well… that's significant."

From the look in Ron's eyes, it's clear he knew almost exactly what Leslie was talking about. He gave her a tiny smile, hidden underneath his mustache. "Now get some work done. We're going to be planning the best memorial of all for Li'l Sebastian, so save your tears for him."

Leslie nodded, smiling much more genuinely, before leaving Ron's office. She would give herself a few minutes to get her tears out in her office, and then, she would move on. She would get up and get to work and not think about Mark or Ben or her capabilities or the truth. There was only one problem with that.

Ben was waiting in her office.

He frowned at her as she walked in, his eyes darting to her tear stained cheeks and her shaking hands. He rushed to her, not touching her, and wouldn't stop looking at her. "Is this because…" he trailed off, looking uncertain. "I got the news. About Li'l Sebastian. I wanted to check up on you because I know he meant so much to you—"

Leslie could have burst into tears all over again. "Oh god, you're so sweet," she told him. "I'm okay. This is just… the product of a lot of things happening at once. I'm fragile right now."

Ben shrugged. "That's okay. You're allowed to be fragile. You're so strong all the time, I mean… sometimes the strongest thing you can do is be fragile."

This time she really did start to cry all over again, and she fell into Ben's arms, her head on his chest like it was that night at the Snakehole Lounge. His arms were strong and warm as they circled around her shoulders, and somehow just his presence and the sound of his heartbeat into her ear made her feel better, safer. One of his hands tentatively reached up to stroke her hair, so soft, shushing her gently. She hugged his waist tighter.

"It's okay," he whispered to her, his chin resting on top of her head. "You know what? We're going to plan a super awesome memorial for Li'l Sebastian, and I'm going to help you with it. Every step of the way, I'll be there to help you. For real, this time."

Her heart flooded with affection for Ben Wyatt, who, despite his best efforts to please her, didn't actually care about Li'l Sebastian or understand him at all. Leslie knew this about him, but here he was anyway, comforting her and running his fingers through her hair and promising his help for a mini horse he never even cared about.

All for her.

The thought came to her so suddenly that she almost felt sick. It was a terrible thought, in the corners of her brain that she wished she could push back, but it was just large enough that it infiltrated her entire mind, growing and growing until it was all she could think about. It was so jarring that she stopped crying entirely, and froze with her head on his chest.

Leslie liked Ben.

Not just as the best friend she told herself he was, but in a larger, more significant way. This feeling flooded into her like poison and she found herself thinking of him, sleepy and cuddly in the mornings, kissing her with morning breath, making breakfast together, laughing together in front of the wildflower mural in City Hall. She wondered what it would feel like to kiss Ben Wyatt.

She moved her head from his chest to meet his eyes, searching them. They were small and brown and so soft, so warm. No one had ever looked at her like that before, no one had ever made her feel so happy and cared for with just a single glance. For a brief moment, her eyes flickered to his lips. She bet they were soft. She bet he was a good kisser.

She gasped audibly with this realization and shoved Ben away from her, composing herself. She couldn't look him in the eyes again. Too dangerous. Oh god, she would have to talk to Ann about this as soon as possible, she was the only one she could trust.

Ben looked at her, clearly very lost. "Um, are… are you okay?"

She nodded, pushing him out her office door. "I'm great!" she choked. "Amazing! So, I have so much work to do, just like, super duper busy, but I'll call you! I will absolutely let you know about that memorial because it is one hundred percent happening. Bye Ben!"

She closed the door behind him and waited for him to go. He took a moment to, still looking confused, and for some reason, watching him walk away made her heart hurt.

He was barely gone when Leslie whipped out her phone and dialed Ann's number.

The Li'l Sebastian memorial was halfway over, and Ben was more confused than ever.

He'd spent this time in close contact with Leslie, following through on his promise to her, completely ignoring his promise to himself that he would back off. Mark's words from that morning in Indianapolis still rattled around in his head, and every moment he spent with Leslie he found himself looking over his shoulder. Any sign of Mark terrified Ben. All Mark needed was some kind of proof that Ben was pursuing Leslie, and he could go to Chris with that and cause a problem. Whether or not Leslie reciprocated would be irrelevant by that point.

But the problem was, Leslie was reciprocating. And then she wasn't. And then she was again. Ben had felt something— though he wasn't sure what— between them when they hugged in her office that day, but moments later she was shoving him out her office like she couldn't stand to see him.

Working on this memorial with her, well… it was constantly hot and cold. They would laugh and do their handshake when things went right, and then she would refuse to talk to him for an hour. She would grab his arm and squeeze whenever she got stressed, and then she would shove him away from her as if she was burned. Her eyes could switch from full of admiration to complete coldness in seconds, and Ben was starting to spiral a little. His own confusing emotions surrounding the situation were bad enough, but now he had to worry whether Leslie wanted to hug him or slap him.

And then Mark came to the memorial. Late, but he came.

Ben spotted him with Leslie, actually. He didn't want to read into it too much for the sake of his own sanity, but their conversation seemed a little tense, slightly distant. He couldn't hear them, because Andy had gotten on stage and started to sing.

"Up in horsey heaven, here's the thing…"

Ben's face fell when he saw Mark lean over and kiss Leslie's cheek. She touched the spot on her face where his lips had been.

"...you traded your legs for angel's wings…"

Leslie was smiling. It was light and barely there, but she was still smiling. Her cheeks were flushed and the adrenaline of running an entire event looked good on her. It suited her. She laughed at something Mark said to her.

"... and once we've all said goodbye…"

Ben couldn't take much more of this. Leslie had wrapped her arm around Mark's waist and they swayed together to Andy's singing. Ben's heart beat faster and he turned away, feeling the familiar sensation of spiraling.

"... you take a running leap and you learn to fly…"

A hand grabbed Ben's arm, and he nearly jumped out of his skin, just to see Ann looking at him with wide and worried eyes. "I know what you're doing."

Ben blinked. "I'm… enjoying this music for a… lovely horse."

Ann glared at him, just as Andy burst into a loud chorus 'bye, bye Li'l Sebastian.' "Don't play dumb, Wyatt. You're watching her."

He shrugged. "So what if I am?"

There was something different in the look Ann gave him. Something almost hopeful, slightly happier. "Because you're just going to think too hard about it, I know you."

She was completely right. "Oh. Apparently you do."

"And I know you're just going to want to use this as an excuse to avoid Leslie more than ever. But listen to me, Ben, you can't do that. I need you to do the opposite." Her arm was digging so deeply into Ben's arm that he started to wonder if she was going to rip it off. "Operation: Save Leslie needs to be back on."

Ben shook his head furiously. "No, no way, why would I? There's too much at stake, Ann, more than just a boyfriend. If this… if this somehow worked, I'm still her boss! I'd get her and me fired!"

Ann grabbed Ben by both his shoulders, lowering him so that they were at the same level. She was surprisingly strong for someone so small. "Ben Wyatt, don't you sit here and pretend like Leslie isn't worth that risk."

He swallowed hard. He couldn't answer that.

Her eyes were wild. "You need to make a move, Ben. Before it gets too deep and you can't get back. She likes you, Ben, there's no better time than now."

Ben only heard about four of those words, and his entire demeanor changed, his scared expression switching into something lighter. An involuntary grin snuck onto his lips. "When did she say…" he whispered, trying to remember how to speak. "Likes me…?"

Ann rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "I feel like I'm talking to a sixteen year old boy about his crush. Just promise me you'll make your move? Before it's too late?"

Ben didn't register his own answer. "I… okay. But wait, did she—"

But Ann was already gone, leaving Ben alone with his thoughts and an entire crowd screaming "you're five thousand candles in the wind."

He couldn't help but overthink again. Making a move on Leslie would be a big risk. Huge, in more ways than one. Was he ready?

Was it worth it?

He didn't know the answer to that yet.