The next several days consisted only of frantic texts from Leslie that Ben always ignored. He couldn't even read them, it was bad enough that he had to see her name on his phone every time it lit up. The very last thing he felt capable of was fully blocking her, but he was starting to get a little desperate.

He just needed peace. And with her everywhere, not only at work around every corner, but also on his phone at every hour of the day, he couldn't seem to escape her. It was like some personalized version of hell, where all Ben could see was her face and the smell of her hair and the feel of her body underneath him, the sound of her gasping his name when she came for him.

Fuck. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Leslie Knope was his every thought, every dream and every waking moment, and it was starting to destroy him.

And, of course, of fucking course— dear, positive Chris Traeger, who was Ben's friend and really was well meaning— just tended to make things that much worse. Another goddamn project assigned to Ben and Leslie.

Leslie, of course, tried to completely blow up this smallest park project into some way to have a conversation with Ben, but he wouldn't take the bait. He was so eager to get himself out of her line of sight that he fast tracked the project, completing Pawnee's Smallest Park mostly by himself, and as quickly as possible. He anticipated the angry texts from Leslie, and sat at home that night with his phone shut off, staring at his bedroom wall.

He really, really didn't know what to do.

Even if Leslie stopped sending him messages, she would still be at work. He would still see her as she turned corners and he would still have to avoid the second floor wildflower mural because he would start to cry everytime he caught a glimpse of it. He would still have to talk to her and remain professional and civil over Parks and Rec matters, and there was no way he could explain to Chris why he didn't want Leslie showing up in the City Manager's office, so he had that to deal with too.

There was no rest, no peace. Ben screwed up and Ben fucked her and he was so, so in love with her and he wished he wasn't. He wished he had never come to Pawnee at all. He felt bad for himself, curled up on his bed, and was just about to force himself up to find some wine or something when there was a small knock on his bedroom door.

"Ben?" That was April's voice. Ben frowned.

"Um, come in, I guess." He sat up on his bed and pushed his hair off his forehead and April made her way in, lingering by the doorway. "What is it? Is the wifi being weird again?"

"I know you had sex with Leslie."

Ben's mouth went dry, nearly choking in hopes to avoid looking too shocked. "I— what? That's ridiculous, what did you… what do you… I would never. Where is this, uh, coming from?"

April crossed her arms over her chest and shut the door behind her, but she made no move to get any closer to him. "Oh my god, you're like, the worst person at talking," she quipped, rolling her eyes. Ben didn't say anything. "Look, I know because there was only supposed to be one condom left under the couch cushion and it was gone, so…"

Ben scrunched up his face in disgust. "Oh god, why do you guys even keep them there in the first place?"

"Andy and I like to make pillow forts in the living room when you're gone and have sex on all the blankets."

She said it so casually, but Ben was already side-eyeing the blankets on his bed, just in case. April continued. "And now you're never gone like some kind of loser and you stole that condom so I know you had sex in mine and Andy's spot so don't even try to lie to me."

The idea of having this conversation with April was utterly ridiculous, and Ben felt mortified enough to melt into nothing. "I… how do you even know it was Leslie? It could've been… Shauna for all you know."

April glared at him. "I actually think you're the worst liar in the world. You could never pull Shauna. And you and Leslie aren't nearly so subtle as you think, I've been watching you guys for months."

His eyes widened. "We… we weren't subtle?"

"Oh my god, you idiot, no. It's kind of a miracle Brendanawicz doesn't know. You know he's going to kill you, right?"

Ben covered his face with his hands, just wanting to run right out the door and never come back. He would have to find new roommates, right? Right. This was mortifying. "Oh my god. Please don't remind me. And… please, please don't say anything. It's over between us anyway. So there's nothing to talk about."

April got that look on her face that showed she was about to get serious, even a little emotional, even when she didn't want to. She wouldn't look Ben in the eye and she started to shift awkwardly, looking annoyed by her own emotions. "Well, maybe you should talk to her, or something."

"I'm not going to do that—"

"No, maybe you actually should," she snapped. "Because you might pretend like you're fine but it's obvious when you're sad. You become a really bad roommate when you're sad. You take those long sadness baths and you make me late for things."

"I do not—"

"You do," April hissed. "Just face it, Ben, you miss her. And… maybe you and Leslie were terrible for each other, but also maybe you weren't. But I don't think you would be this sad right now if it was awful between you."

Ben felt those words deeply, and he stared at April closely. "Maybe," he said. "But it's pretty damn awful right now."

"Maybe it's only awful because you two are both idiots who think too much. I mean, Andy and I are like two million years younger than you two but we're married, and we didn't think about that at all."

"What's that got to do with it?"

April pursed her lips. "I'm trying… to tell you that sometimes it's better not to think. Do whatever makes you feel happy. Even if it seems like the wrong choice. Honestly, I always feel happy making wrong choices."

Ben chose to ignore her last quip, and focused on the very sensitive message she was giving him. Something stirred inside him, and he suddenly found himself very thankful for April's friendship. "Thank you," he told her. "I— Really, thank you—"

"Get away from me!" she screamed, even though Ben hadn't even gotten up, and she ran out his room, slamming the door shut behind him. Ben smiled, just softly, and decided he would sleep on what April said. She wasn't quite so stupid or unobservant as she might want people to believe.

When Ben finally got up the courage to turn his phone back on about an hour later, he was surprised to see his notifications weren't just filled with messages from Leslie, but also from Ann. Ann, who hadn't spoken to since their breakup. Because it felt too awkward, maybe. Because Ann was Leslie's friend first and she seemed to have been claimed by her in the breakup. Maybe because even just Ann was so close to Leslie that he couldn't be around her without dreaming of what could be.

He held the phone up to his ear. "Ann?"

"You really, really need to talk to her, Wyatt."

Ben winced. "Wow, not even a hello."

Ann sounded heated, and not at all in the mood for small talk. She was practically yelling in his ear. "Don't sass me. You need to talk to her."

"No," Ben insisted. "No, I'm done talking. I've told her over and over again that I just can't be around her, what more does she need me to say? It fucking hurts, Ann."

"I know that. I know that it does. But she doesn't. You've been acting like a real ass lately, Wyatt, do you realize she thinks you hate her? Like, genuine hate?"

This shocked Ben, a wave down his back, and he sat up straighter. "What? Of course I don't hate her. It hurts to be around her because I want to be with her, but I can't, why would she think otherwise?"

He could practically see the way Ann was rolling her eyes at him. She definitely probably would've hit him if he was in front of her. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because you've been nothing but a jerk to her? Because you tell her you can't stand her voice or her face? Can't have anything to do with you kicking her out of your house and telling her she was a mistake while she was still naked in your blanket, can it?"

Ben swallowed hard. "She, uh… she told you about that?"

"OF COURSE SHE TOLD ME ABOUT THAT, I'M HER BEST FRIEND!" Ann screamed, and Ben winced, moving the phone from his ear. "Seriously, just talk to her. Just once. When she can't talk to you, she starts to message me. And I don't have unlimited data." He heard Ann sigh, pictured the way she would bring her hands to her temple. "Look, whatever you say to her… I think she's finally ready to listen. Just think about it."

She hung up before he could respond, and Ben sighed. Against his better judgement, he checked his text messages from today, and to his surprise, there was actually only one from Leslie, only five words:

'Smallest Park at ten. Please.'

/

Leslie hasn't stopped thinking since Ben kicked her out of his house that morning.

This wasn't unusual, of course, but this time her thoughts were more specific, were somehow moving faster, and filled out many, many pages in many notebooks. She would sit up all night weighing pros and cons, thinking of the past, and the future, her career, Mark and of Ben. So, so much of Ben.

Logic never gave her the answer she wanted. Logic told her to forget about Ben, because her future was much safer that way. Because Ben was a jerk who had sex with her and then called it a mistake, who wouldn't talk to her even for one moment, who wouldn't give her the time of day. Logic told her that she would, eventually, get over him. That she would move on with time, and that she could learn to be happy getting married to Mark. With Mark, she could have it all. She could have a scandal-free campaign, a steady job, a path to the White House. She would have stability and a home, someone she could come home to every night, someone who was familiar, someone who didn't scare her with how much she loved them.

Ben terrified her. He terrified her because she had never had feelings quite like this before, never so strong and all consuming, and she had no idea what to do with that. Just the thought sent chills down her spine.

And goddammit, she didn't want the stability anymore. She didn't want Mark, she didn't care about the future he could give her. Her heart was growing stronger and louder than her mind and it was so scary, so scary that she realized she was very willing to give up everything if it meant she could have Ben.

Maybe that was why she asked to meet him. A little unsure, still, of what she would say to him, but she waited nonetheless.

It was cold. She wore a red coat and sat on a bench in their smallest park, the last remaining link on earth of the two of them together. The last place she could sit and still feel him as if he was standing next to her. And, miraculously, soon enough he was.

She didn't think he would come. She really didn't.

She stood up to greet him, and the two of them kept their distance, but their eyes never left each other's faces. Ben still wasn't showing much emotion. He was still closed off. Just in case, just in case.

"I didn't think you would come," she said.

"I almost didn't."

"Well, I'm glad you're here. Take a seat. But, only if you want."

"Okay. I want to."

He sat down and she stood above him, hiding her trembling hands behind her back. She didn't know where to start, what to say. Could she make this better? Or would it just be worse? "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I haven't been listening to you. You told me loud and clear how you felt about me, and I didn't care, and I tried to get to you anyway. And that wasn't fair of me."

"It wasn't," Ben whispered. "But… you do understand that I don't hate you, right?"

Leslie swallowed hard.

"I could never hate you," he said. "And honestly, I'm sorry too. It wasn't fair, the way that I've been treating you. I was upset with the way our relationship ended and I was jealous of Mark, and I took that all out on you. It hurt, and I didn't know what to do with that pain. So, for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

His apology meant a lot to her, so much to her. She didn't want to admit the amount of times she had locked herself in her bathroom wondering where she had gone so wrong, if he would ever smile at her again. "I've been thinking," Leslie choked. "I've been thinking for a long time. Maybe too long, because I think I should've come to this conclusion a long time ago."

Ben looked at his lap, his hands shoved into his coat pockets, and for a moment he looked terrified. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking… that I made a mistake, Ben. I made a mistake a month ago. I made a mistake two years ago. I made mistakes and I was so wrapped up in the person I was with Mark, that I didn't know how to fix those mistakes. I was too scared to climb myself out of that hole and I didn't even know who I was, but… you know, you always did. You took one look at me the first day we met and you knew who I was before even I did. You took one look at me with Mark and you knew something was wrong. You told me that I should yell more and I really, really should've listened to you."

The tiniest of smiles appeared on Ben's face. "I've always liked when you yell. It was great advice."

Leslie took a deep breath, and prepared herself. These words, they weren't planned. Maybe she wasn't even meant to say them, maybe she shouldn't. But maybe she didn't care anymore. Maybe it was time to stop caring about what was right and what was safe. "I know this is too little, too late, Ben, but I think it needs to be said. I never should've dated Mark. I should've said no. To his kiss, to a first date, to his proposal and his ring, and I should've said yes to you. I was so slow, and so stupid, and… I think I made the dumbest mistake of my life. But… I also respect you. If you don't want to have anymore contact with me, I think I finally understand."

She sucked in a breath, her entire heart in his hands to crush.

"I… don't want that. Really."

Ben met her eyes, and the words were spilling out of her so fast she hoped he could hear her at all. "I miss you like crazy. I think about you all the time. I wanna be with you. So… let's just say screw it."

Let's just say screw it.

Ben stared at her for a long time, searching her, as if he was wondering how much of this was real. She waited, for anything, for some kind of sign, and prayed that he wouldn't run away, prayed that he would hear her out.

"Leslie," he started, so calm. She was so scared. "Leslie… how can you say that? How could you even… your campaign, and Chris, and your entire future, and Mark and your engagement, I mean…" He was starting to look frantic now, his emotions bubbling to the surface. "I mean, how can you even suggest that?"

"Because you mean more to me than any of that," she told him, and that was the truth. "It took me so stupidly wrong to realize that. I don't care about any of that stuff, not anymore. I don't care about stability, or safety, or whatever scandal would come of this. Ben… you told me once that everyday, you chose me. You told me that I never chose you, even though you prayed I would. I was selfish, and scared, and I thought I could have it all, and I thought that I could keep you in my private corner to keep while in public I continued to pretend like you never existed. I don't want to live like that anymore."

Ben was standing, several feet in front of her, staring at her closer with every word she spoke. His eyes went wider, allowing more emotion in, and tears were forcing themselves down Leslie's cheeks. She took a deep breath. It was now or never. She was putting everything on the line, but she was ready. She was so, so ready, and she wasn't going to regret a thing.

"I choose you," she whispers. "So let's just say screw it."

In those few moments of silence, Leslie waited with bated breath, preparing for the worst. She was ready and waiting for the heartbreak that would follow, because that's what happens when you throw yourself out on a limb, that's what happens when you give someone your entire heart and all they know how to do with it is crush. She was trusting Ben with her heart, as fragile as it was, and in that second of silence, she feared it was really over, that there would be no going back, and Ben would keep her heart just to rip a piece of it off everyday.

None of that happened.

Ben did not crush her heart. No, he put it back.

He was moving in seconds, and then his fingers were grabbing her face and he was kissing her, kissing her like he had never kissed her before. He kissed her not like it would be their last, but like it was the first of many. A forever kiss, a promise on his lips, a kiss that meant they were here, they were okay, this was the rest of their lives. With just that kiss, and his hands on her face and in her hair, his mouth opening to consume her, she saw the rest of her life in clear, screaming color. She saw it more vividly than she had ever seen anything, and there was something so simple and sure about it, she just knew it to be true. Ben Wyatt was always going to be it for her.

His lips parted against hers, and every inch of him was trembling, holding onto her like he would never let go again. His thumb brushed the tears lingering on her cheeks, and when he smiled at her, the same way he used to, everything in the whole world felt okay again.

Ben nodded gently. "Screw it."