The Name Shame

A/N: So this one came from a conversation I had with my friend (who, I might add, has not seen the Dragons TV show). When I mentioned that one of the TV show's villains was named Alvin, she cracked up. When I asked what was so funny, she explained her reasoning to me, and this story stems from that. I hope you enjoy it. :)

Invaded.

Dear Thor Almighty, it had actually happened. Berk had been invaded. By the Outcasts, one of the most violent and bloodthirsty of the Viking tribes in the Archipelago. And it couldn't have happened at a worse time: the armory had been destroyed by a fire (which may or may not have been caused by a dragon – no one was totally sure) so they were almost completely without weapons. And, because of the sudden hatred toward dragons that Mildew had inspired (Hillevi in particular was ready to gut the old man for his prejudice and the way he had somehow convinced the entire village that dragons were unfit to live among them), their fire-breathing friends were on Dragon Island, too far away to be of any help whatsoever.

So it was really no surprise that the Outcasts had invaded without a struggle. It wasn't as if Berk could fight back without weapons or dragons to defend themselves with. And so it was that a group of the villagers stood prisoner on the beach, watching silently on as the Outcast leader addressed them cockily.

He was a big man with thick, muscular arms that looked as though they could choke a fully grown Viking without even trying. A thick black beard concealed a large portion of his face and reached down past his chest. He wore wrist cuffs covered in long, sharp spines and shoulder pads with even bigger, sharper spikes, as well as a helmet battered from many a fierce battle. But worst of all was the steely black glint in his eyes, eyes that were filled with bloodthirsty glee and not even a hint of regret. This was a man without a conscience, someone who didn't care if innocent people were slaughtered, a person who reveled in death and destruction if it meant he could take over the island.

And he was looking for Hiccup.

The rumor had spread across the island as fast as the Outcasts themselves: their leader was here searching for the famous Dragon Conqueror. Apparently Outcast Island was overrun with dragons, and they were out of control. But with the fabled Dragon Conqueror under his command, the Outcast leader would be able to use the creatures to level entire villages. He would become a formidable force, even more so than he was now. He would be unstoppable, and everyone knew it.

Thankfully, Hiccup was apparently in hiding, for he was nowhere to be found at the moment. In fact, Audun hadn't seen him all day. He prayed the boy was safe. Despite his intelligence and skills with dragons, he wouldn't stand a chance in actual combat with thirty-plus Outcast soldiers.

"For those of you who haven't figured it out," called the Outcast leader. "I am the one and only Alvin the Treacherous. And let me be—"

There was a snort of laughter, and Alvin fell silent. All eyes turned to the person who had let the sound loose, and Audun suppressed a groan.

"Alvin?" Hillevi snickered. "What kind of name is Alvin? It's not even a Norse name!"

For Thor's sake, Hillevi, don't anger the big ugly Viking with a whole army at his disposal! Audun thought.

Hillevi either didn't know what her friend was thinking or else ignored him, for she went on, "If you really think the name 'Alvin' is one that instills us with fear, then you're dumber than you look! And that is saying something!"

Alvin scowled with rage, and the soldiers flanking him tensed up, apparently considering firing their crossbows at the young Viking woman who dared to mock their boss. "It's Alvin the Treacherous!" the Outcast leader growled. "And let me be clear, that name was earned."

"'Alvin'?" Tuffnut asked, and then he scoffed. "How did he earn that?"

No one answered him.

"Whether you earned the 'Treacherous' part or not," Hillevi said, putting her hands on her hips as if she hadn't a care in the world, "'Alvin' just isn't a name I can take seriously. I mean, for Thor's sake, you say your name and I see a little chipmunk singing Snoggletog songs in a high, squeaky voice, not a fierce Viking warrior."

At this, several other people started to snicker, some of them Outcasts. Even Audun had to stifle a chuckle as the weirdest of mental images invaded his mind.

"Enough!" Alvin roared. "You will fear me, do you understand?! I am Alvin the Treacherous, and—"

"Stop, just stop!" Hillevi interrupted, shaking her head and laughing out loud now. "Every time you say your name I can't contain myself! It's just too silly!"

"It makes me want to sing Snoggletog songs!" Alva interjected. "Everyone, sing with me!…

"Snoggle-Snoggletog is here

Time for toys and time for cheer…"

The other Hooligans started to join in, singing with rough voices punctuated by chuckles and giggles while the Outcasts all watched them with identical expressions of stunned disbelief on their faces, though some were trying to hide smiles by now.

"We've been good, but we can't last

Hurry Snoggletog, come fast…"

Alvin let out a bellow of rage, but by now no one was paying him any attention. Even his own soldiers were laughing now, unable to contain themselves any longer.

"Just go back to Outcast Island," Hillevi said. "No one here is going to take you seriously at this point, no matter what you do. So just crawl back to your little island and leave us alone. Seriously, just go."

And, to everyone's surprise, Alvin, his head bowed in utter shame, did just that.

Later, at the celebration in the Great Hall, Stoick asked Hillevi if there was anything he could do to reward her for her courage. In response, she just shrugged and said, "I don't know, chief. But I think my friends would appreciate having their dragons back. I mean, if we ever end up in a situation where we have to defend ourselves without weapons, it would be nice to have the dragons on our side."

Stoick, who had been regretting his decision to banish the dragons ever since Hiccup had taken them away, nodded and said, "You make a fair point, lass. Consider it done."

The cheers got, if possible, even louder at this.

"Though I do have one question," Hiccup said as they left the hall to make the trip to Dragon Island. "The way you phrased your request: you said, 'My friends would appreciate'. Why didn't you say, 'I would appreciate'? Don't you want Daydream back too?"

Hillevi smirked. "Daydream never left Berk," she said. "Did you really think I was going to let your dad and that old fart Mildew bully me into leaving my dragon behind? Please!"

No one could think of anything to say to this, but they all laughed pleasantly as they rushed down to the docks.