Doughnut Detour

A/N: Hello all! Surprise! I'm not dead! I've just been…uh…busy for the past…well, a while. It's a long story, so I'll save it for the end and let you enjoy the story first. It's based on true events, as usual, and it still makes me laugh when I remember it. Hope you enjoy!

It was a perfect day to go book shopping. Not that there was ever a bad day to go book shopping, of course, but today was particularly pleasant. The sky was blue and clear with not even a hint of a cloud to block the light of the sun. The air was brisk and cool, but the wind was minimal and the sunlight helped warm Audun and Hillevi as they flew over the crystalline North Sea in the direction of Meathead Island.

Audun's Nadder trilled happily, and Audun remarked, "Steady, Phantom. I know it's a nice day, but I'd appreciate it if you saved the loop-de-loops for when we're not on your back."

"What's the matter?" Hillevi teased from behind him. "Afraid of a little rough riding?"

"You've never ridden Mojo at the canter, have you?" Audun returned.

"The infamous 'buck you' canter?" Hillevi verified. "No, never had the pleasure."

"Count yourself lucky. It's terrifying. I prefer my scares to be of the fictional variety, which is why I hope to find some good horror stories at the sale today."

"Do you think they'll have your book for sale?" Hillevi asked.

Audun smiled, feeling a pleasant warmth build in his chest at the words "your book." A few months previous, he'd finally achieved a lifelong goal and published a book of his own. It was a simple children's story about horses, so naturally it hadn't found much of an audience among the Vikings of Berk (even the children preferred battle sagas to horse stories), but Audun's friends had given him a great deal of support in the endeavor. Hiccup in particular had been glowing about the book, and Fishlegs had warmly congratulated Audun in his success. And of course Hillevi and Alva had been among the first to buy copies, which Audun had signed with notes of personal love and thanks to each of them.

"They might," Audun replied to Hillevi's question. "Though I doubt anyone would buy it if they did. It doesn't have any dragons or sea battles in it."

Hillevi punched his shoulder, and he winced. "Don't sell yourself short. If you try a little marketing it might reach a broader audience."

"True," Audun conceded. "Maybe once life settles down a little I'll be able to do that."

"Does life on Berk ever settle down?"

Audun cracked a grin. "Good point." After a slight pause he asked, "How's Daydream doing?"

Hillevi's Monstrous Nightmare had injured herself in a dragon race a week ago. It was a minor wing sprain, but Hiccup had suggested she stay grounded for a while to let it heal properly. Hillevi wasn't thrilled with the idea of bumming rides off her friends, but she loved her dragon and agreed to do as Hiccup suggested for her sake. So when word had reached Berk that the Meathead Public Library was having a book sale, she'd asked Audun if she could join him. Since they both loved books and reading, it was a given that he'd been planning to go too, and he readily agreed to give her a lift.

"She's getting better," Hillevi said. "She really wants to go flying again. She lights herself on fire every time I get on another dragon."

Audun flinched a little. "She's not going to attack me for giving you a ride, is she?"

"Nah," Hillevi replied. Then after a beat she added, "At least I don't think so."

"That's encouraging."

Meathead Island appeared on the horizon, and Audun smiled. "There it is. From what Hiccup said, the library's on the other side, away from the main village."

"Isn't that bad for business, putting the library in such an out-of-the-way location?" Hillevi inquired.

Audun shrugged. "Vikings."

Hillevi chuckled.

They were soon upon the island. The marketplace was a bustle of activity, but the path leading off toward the library was pretty much deserted. "Well, at least we won't have to fight for the better books," Audun remarked.

But Hillevi suddenly stiffened, turning her head to the right and looking down at a hut on the edge of the market. "Look! The hot light's on!"

Audun looked down and saw that she was pointing to the bakery. There was a Monstrous Nightmare tethered outside the entrance, and its scales were ablaze. Beside the dragon was a large sign that was visible even from the air. It read: FRESH HOT DOUGHNUTS WHEN LIT.

They were almost directly over the village now. Audun glanced back at his friend and saw that her eyes were wide and alight with glee. "Uh…would you like me to—"

"Yes!" Hillevi said with such vehemence that Audun wasted no time steering Phantom toward the ground at such a steep angle that the Nadder squawked in surprise and indignation. They touched down just outside the bakery, earning startled shouts from a few Vikings loitering nearby, but Hillevi ignored them, leaping from the saddle and rushing into the shop. Audun, shaking his head with amusement, followed.

Hillevi hurried up to the front counter, inhaling deeply and sighing in pleasure. The smell of freshly baked doughnuts filled the hut, and the aroma was intoxicating. She smiled at the stocky, unsmiling woman behind the counter and asked, "May I have half a dozen fresh doughnuts please?"

"No."

Just like that. A quick, toneless, inflectionless word, spoken completely without emotion. Yet such an unremarkable blurt-out had a tremendous effect: Hillevi's jaw dropped open and her face fell. It looked, thought Audun with a stifled laugh, like the expression a child might wear upon being told Snoggletog had been canceled, not just for that year but for the rest of eternity. For a wild moment, he actually wondered if she was about to burst into tears.

A full second passed – though to Hillevi it evidently felt much longer – before the woman broke into a grin and said, "I'm teasing, dear. Of course you can."

Hillevi blinked, startled and bewildered, and then she let out a tremendous sigh of relief. Placing a hand over her heart she said, "Don't do that! I thought you were serious!"

"Sorry, dear, I couldn't resist," the woman said, chuckling over the success of her joke. "Six fresh doughnuts, coming right up."

Hillevi paid her, now chuckling herself. "You really got me," she conceded. "I was about to panic."

"About to?" Audun repeated, nudging her lightly.

"Shut up," Hillevi said lightly, still grinning, "or I won't share my doughnuts with you."

Audun shut up.

A few minutes later they were seated at a little circular table, enjoying the sweet, melt-in-your-mouth confections. "Mmmm," Hillevi moaned, looking perfectly content.

"I second that," Audun said.

They were silent for a while, too intent on enjoying their snack to waste effort on conversation. Then, between the first doughnut and the second, Hillevi said, "Sorry for the little detour. I promise we'll hit the library next."

Audun smiled. "Don't worry about it. For you, it's a sacrifice I'm more than willing to make." He toasted her with his doughnut, and Hillevi beamed.

Then Audun laughed and added, "And the look on your face when the lady said you couldn't have the doughnuts was worth the delay!"

Hillevi rolled her eyes, but she couldn't stop herself from smiling too.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed that. I really love spending time with my friends; they're a terrific bunch. I love you guys! (And Krispy Kreme doughnuts are amazing!)

Okay, so…about that long story I mentioned at the beginning…

First off, the bit about my insert character Audun having published a book is actually true. I am officially a published author and I cannot tell you how excited I am about it. It's called Hoofbeats, and as stated in this story it's a children's book about horses. Of course this website frowns on solicitations and advertising, so I'm not going to ask you to go buy it, and I'm certainly not going to tell you that if you go to and type in "Hoofbeats Christopher Weston" you'll find it available for $6.99 in print or $4.99 on Kindle. I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing. Just thought I'd let you know, that's all.

On a less pleasant note, I spent most of 2017 looking after my 90-year-old grandfather as a part-time caregiver. It was a long, emotionally trying year, as Grandpa was not an easy man to get along with. He had a short temper and a loud voice, and he was extremely opinionated. And if something didn't match with his worldview, then you were pretty much doomed to suffer from his ire. It didn't matter if the problem was your fault or not. He once blamed me for not taking him to see his great-grandchildren play in a soccer game. It would have been nice if he'd told me they were playing and that he wanted to watch. I guess he thought I could read minds. I can't. But it was still my fault. Good luck figuring that out. And that's just one of many altercations we had. There were lost tempers, shouting matches, and many tears shed. Taking care of him pretty much sapped me of my creative energy, and I didn't write very much while I was looking after him. What little I did manage to put down wasn't anything I'd be willing to share with the world.

Anyway, Grandpa passed away in December. It's been a really rough time, particularly because he and I never had a chance to reconcile before he died. I loved him, I really did, despite the way he treated me, and between grieving and coming to terms with everything I went through I just haven't had the energy or even desire to write. I'm only now starting to get back into it, so hopefully I'll be doing some more stuff here on the site. No promises, you understand, but we'll see how it goes. It does feel good to be writing again, though, so I'm feeling pretty hopeful.

Well, thanks again for checking out my work, and I hope you enjoyed this little story about me and my friend. Have a nice day!