A/N: This chapter is longer. Significantly longer. Partially as an apology for taking so long on the last and partially because I decided to juggle 4 plots and it's a bit crazy. Definitely still having a lot of fun, though, and I've already learned some world-building do's and dont's through trial and error. I'm glad to see all the support! Just knowing I have readers enjoying my work is spectacular!
Review responses:
Jetzflare: Thanks for reading! Phineas has never actually cared if Linda saw things, in fact in a few cases he seems upset that he can't show her. The boys don't know it would carry negative consequences, but what the boys know won't hurt them. I've totally got a vague explanation for Milo in mind, but I haven't found a way to naturally work it in to the story yet. It's a mystery to you for now :^) You may have noticed Doofenshmirtz stopped being good after trying it out for a bit. Also, I was sure not to make Vanessa talk in specifics about OWCA. She never even mentions it by name. Just a "secret agent thing", which I think in Danville is pretty reasonable. Candace-164 will show up sooner or later.
Chapter 7: Double Vision
The time was 6AM. The sun had long since risen, but underneath the Flynn-Fletcher residence, deep in the panic room, a two people appeared in a pitch-black room.
"Sir!" The faint light from a tablet illuminated the room somewhat. The short, brown haired girl in the gray beret and military fatigues pointed the light in front of her, causing her "sir" to flinch.
"Gretch!" Suzanne couldn't help the bit of annoyance that came with her voice. "My eyes are adjusted to the darkness!" She covered her eyes with one hand and ran her other hand along the wall of the room, eventually grazing a light switch. "There!" She clicked it.
A cold, artificial light activated above them. The two blinked uncomfortably until they managed to regain their senses. Suzanne put her arm around her friend's shoulder. "I wasn't sure that would work, but if Phineas could build it..." She trailed off. "Status report. What dimension are we in?"
"Well, sir, I can't tell exactly, but it SHOULD be the one Phineas fled to after creating the dimension bubble." Gretchen adjusted her glasses slightly. She looked at her boss, and realized that her usually bright blonde hair and beret had become dirty and singed. The fatigues and beret the other teenaged Firestorm Girl wore were also mucky and slightly burnt.
"Heh. Of course. Until a few weeks ago I had no idea there was such a thing as another dimension." Suzanne patted herself down and tried to scrape some of the dirt off of her lackey. "Who knows? This could be, like, the only other one."
"Phineas tends to blind us with the impossibilities of the universe as often as he can, sir." Gretchen thought for a moment. "He also mentioned that we were dimension 164, so there's at least that many."
Suzanne huffed outwards and produced a small notepad from her rear pocket. "I have the cloaking devices." She passed her friend a small circular object, which Gretchen promptly attached to her hip. "Step 2 is to figure out just how similar this universe is to ours."
"Dimension, sir."
"What's the difference?"
Gretchen didn't really have an answer. Instead, she looked at the notepad, prompting Suzanne to elaborate on her plan.
"Step 3, if it's necessary, is to replace our counterparts. Otherwise we just need a place to stay. Step 4, we capture Phineas and make him find a way to rebuild our universe."
"Hopefully he cooperates."
"C'mon, Gretch, what are the odds?"
"Well, he would probably be interested in getting Candace and his parents back."
Suzanne rolled her eyes. "Dude's a textbook psychopath, Gretchen. He didn't care about his sister, and he sure as heck doesn't care about his parents."
"But-"
"Stop." Suzanne put her hand out in front of Gretchen's face. She then clicked the cloaking device on her hip. Gretchen disappeared along with her. "We can hope for the best, but we ought to prepare for the worst. He could have-" What seemed like the beginning of tears formed in the air before the cloaking device vanished them, too. "-killed her. And my brother."
"It's likely we can get them back. You said so yourself."
"Oh, and he's lucky. If Jeremy's gone, I'm tearing that scum apart limb from limb."
"You think Baljeet would be mad if we did the pocket dimension zoo without him?"
Ferb shrugged. Phineas and Ferb's parents had not gotten up yet, and neither had Candace. Perry had joined the two for breakfast, and was eating up on the table. The night before had been a bit wilder than anticipated, especially after Lawrence broke out some alcohol he intended for the adults. The long and short of it is that Ferb and some of the other kids snuck a few drinks and Phineas and Isabella had a crappy time as designated bikers.
Suddenly, a pattering of footsteps behind Ferb alerted him to a presence. He quickly looked behind him, and saw that his ears had decieved him. Must just be some lasting effects. He downed his third glass of water that morning, all the while listening to his brother's pitches.
"Is something the matter, Ferb? You get a hangover?" Phineas stopped to inquire. As was the duty of a good friend, brother, and son, Phineas had made breakfast for the two of them, and had ingredients set out for when the others awoke. Ferb waved off his suspicion. He wished he had been allowed to sleep in later.
Phineas continued to drone on, like he does, and Ferb couldn't help but find his thoughts wandering, mostly ruminating on the events of the previous night.
"Ferb! How old are you?" Vanessa glared at the young man.
"16, ma'am. 16 and a half." Ferb jokingly put his hands up in the air. "Lock me up. I've commited a sin." His words were slightly slurred.
Vanessa laughed. "I'm not even old enough for that stuff." She took a sip of her wine. "Officially." Luckily, her dad had gone home shortly after inspecting the church sanctuary for evidence of the techno-destructinator.
"19, right?" Ferb leaned back slightly. Man, a little alcohol did wonders to loosen a person's lips. He seemed to forget he hated speaking.
"20 soon." Vanessa looked a little wistful suddenly. "And jeez, I have not done half of the things you have."
"Well, who has? I'm a legendary thrill-seeker, adventurer and world-traveller. And you know what?"
"What?" Vanessa leaned forward on the table, facing him with interest.
"It's not the reason I'm happy."
Vanessa rolled her eyes. "Jeez, you're gonna give me some schpiel about how family is the most important thing, right?"
Ferb grabbed Phineas and slung his arm around his brother's shoulder. Phineas looked annoyed.
"I was talking to someone."
"You have all night to flirt with your girlfriend, Phin. Now, I'm trying to prove a point."
"I was talking to Ginger." Ferb quickly clamped his hand over Phineas' mouth as he grinned at Vanessa.
"Look at this guy. I love him. His boundless enthusiasm for the unknown and all that is great, but that's not why I love him. But I love him because he's always been there for me. He's always trying to figure out how he can make my life better."
"Gross." Phineas spat. Teenagers, right? Ferb poked his younger brother in the ribs before releasing him.
Ferb turned his attention back to Vanessa, who was listening more intently than he realized. "It wouldn't matter if Phineas was a spectacular failure at it, because if we're being honest..." Ferb leaned in close so his brother wouldn't overhear. "Sometimes he is. You find people like THAT. People willing to try. For you."
"Ferb, is this supposed to be some kind of pep talk for my relationship with my Dad? Did he put you up to this?"
Ferb thought for a second. "You and your Dad don't get along?"
"Well, I guess I sit corrected."
Ferb's flashback was interrupted by a sudden slam from the backyard. It was quiet enough that his brother, who was now sketching out an idea on some notebook paper, did not notice. Phineas had drafted up a large laser-tag arena. "Mom won't mind us burrowing underground if we replace the lawn before the end of the day! I'll see if I can't get some of our usual providers to get us some materials!"
Ferb looked around the room, missing their third breakfast mate. "And while you're at it, ask them where Perry is."
Perry had hopped underneath the floorboards, donning his signature leather fedora. He felt around in a small bunch of insulation to find a button, which caused the insulation to part, revealing a plastic tube. He quickly jumped down the newly-greased tube and slid down, dropping into his chair. He looked up attentively at the monitor, which came to life displaying the typical image of his Commanding Officer.
"Good morning, Agent P! We finally paid someone to grease the tubes and the slides."
Perry rubbed his back to assuage the painful memories.
"Anyways, Doofenshmirtz is definitely up to something today. He's been studying the growing habits of plant life and the effects of sunlight on photosynthesis. He's also purchased a bag of fertilizer at a local plant store and a book about necromancy from an online retailer. This surely spells trouble, and the T is capitalized. Perhaps there's an exclamation point after the E. Put a stop to it!"
The agent saluted and jumped into the hover-car, dashing off to DEI.
Buford and Baljeet went snowboarding. There's nothing much to elaborate on, as it was fairly uneventful. However, a leg injury that may have been intentionally caused by one party resulted in a tearful call home and an expedited ticket back to the United States. The good news is, they'll be in Danville late tonight. Their subplot for this episode would have been waiting at the airport, which is for the most part terribly boring, and as such I have chosen to omit it.
Isabella was in no position to go snowboarding. She was also tired from the hectic events of the last evening. So tired, in fact, that she was totally and completely unable to move her body.
Oh, wait.
Those are restraints. She was restrained in a chair.
Isabella looked around the room. A dim orange light came from the warm black rock floor beneath her. There were several computer consoles, desks and three metal doors. One was labeled "Laboratory", one was labeled "Lavatory", and the third was not labeled at all. She could faintly see the sky through a small hole if she craned her neck up. She decided it wasn't worth the effort, and settled back into the plush red chair that she would have described as "very comfortable" if not for the clasps that were keeping her wrists and ankles tied to it.
"Aw, crap, sorry. I forgot to turn those off." It was a familiar voice over a PA system.
The clasps released. Isabella lazily rose from her chair. "Wait a second, Iz, you're gonna want to be seated for this one." It clicked with her suddenly.
"Phineas?"
"Uh, yes." Phineas appeared from a large metal door labeled "Lavatory". He zipped up his pants and dusted them off as he approached the chair. Isabella cautiously sat back down. "And no." Isabella sprang back up, but was quickly stopped by Phineas' hand on her chest.
"So I was figuring we didn't have our date yesterday-"
"Date?" Isabella prodded, excitement seeping through the sarcasm.
"Yeah, while I was in the hospital-"
"Hospital?" Isabella was now thoroughly confused.
"Oh." Phineas grabbed some of his bright red hair and pulled it downwards. "I forgot to put on the disguise."
There was a solid minute of silence before Isabella's brain could catch up to the present. "F-Flint?" It sounded like a faint wheeze.
"Yeah."
Silence remained a recurring theme.
"What?" Isabella looked him up and down. He looked exactly like him. Him being Phineas. And the other him being... also Phineas.
"So anyways," Flint figured he would have to pick up the slack in this conversation. "I'm a Phineas. One of many 'Phine-ai.'" Air quotes. "I had like a whole elaborate reveal for it set up but I guess I didn't flash my holographic disguise when I finished using the john so that's..." He waved goodbye to some invisible plan.
"But-" Isabella was regaining her senses. "How?"
Flint snapped his fingers. "Good question. I fled here after I... my home dimension got destroyed. By someone."
"This is crazy."
"See, now we're on the same page. I'm noticing a lot of subtle differences. The biggest of which is you."
"This is... nuts." Isabella gripped her scalp with both hands.
"Exactly. And I think I figured it out. In my universe, your mom marries someone entirely different. Brown instead of black hair. Handlebar mustache instead of the poofy thing Joe keeps on his lip. Irish, not Jewish."
"This is... outrageous!" Isabella's confusion changed to fury in an instant. She pushed herself off of the chair and shot into Flint, tackling him to the ground. She put her hands around his neck and began to squeeze.
"Okay-" Flint managed to get out, "-I understand you like Phineas and all but this is a bit out of my comfort zone-"
"I might actually kill you, you underhanded slime!"
"Oh." Flint tried to gulp but he was constricted. Instead, he brought his legs up and managed to push Isabella upward and off of him. He jumped to his feet as quickly as she did. Both took martial arts positions, but Flint's was decidedly more theatrical and less practical. "See, that's something that Suzanne might say."
"Suzanne's a smarter girl than I am, I guess." Isabella huffed as she and Flint began to circle the room slowly. Isabella started glancing around, taking notes. Flint had home field advantage, so she needed to know potential exits. Clearly, the doors that were labeled were not exits. By process of elimination, that left two candidates: The hole in the ceiling (Which would require superhuman climbing ability) or the unlabeled metal door (Which would require walking through it).
Flint grinned roguishly as he watched her watch him. "C'mon, there are other ways we could settle this spat."
"Get over yourself. You're not Harrison Ford, you can't make chauvinism attractive." Isabella rolled her eyes. Something about this guy just brought out a state of heightened emotion.
"Another example would be Phineas Flynn. He's as dangerous as I am, easily, but he puts up this facade of a good-natured, fun-loving, all-American teenager that masks it."
"are you suggesting he's had me fooled for the better part of ten years?"
"You're a fool for him as much as he's a fool for himself." Flint's voice reflected resentment. "Imagine if that kid had a bad day. Maybe a bad week, a bad month, a bad year. Him and Ferb could easily be super-villains."
"What, like you? An unfeeling monster? Willing to kill teenagers, and for what?" Isabella was thinking clearer now, and she was able to keep a level tone.
"I'm not trying to kill you." Flint was now indignant. "I just think it would be best for everyone if I... did what was necessary to get my dimension back." He shrugged.
Isabella planted her feet in the ground, and glared at him, as if daring him to elaborate.
"Okay, so basically, there's this balance of the universe type energy-"
"Probability ions. I'm not stupid."
"Yeah, Probability ions, you're not stupid. Basically, I need to get a giant bubble of those."
"Why?"
"I've drafted plans for a machine that could rebuild my universe, but it has such a slim chance of working that the only way I can see it doing so is pure luck. They have positive ions, I could absorb those ions should they be..." Flint dragged his fingers across his neck. Truth told, he had his reservations. "You know, it's two guys for my entire universe."
"If you just need the ions, why not just ask the boys for help?" Isabella was practically interrogating him at this point. This was actually good, he noted. Peer review.
"I really ought not to tell you." He chuckled. Then he made the mistake of blinking.
Bam! Isabella had hit him right in the chest with a flying crane kick. He stumbled back, hitting the wall and bouncing back off of it slightly. Isabella grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed him back into the wall face-first, giving him only a second to catch a kick aimed at his neck. He dodged under it, grabbed it, and used the momentum to slam her foot into the rock wall. Isabella recoiled in pain. Flint wagered his nose might be broken, and Isabella thought her toes might be.
"You know, I think I've gotten to the bottom of my problem with you, Flint." Her words came out in a hiss. "You're like some kind of nightmare version of him. Some awful other world where everything is corrupted and sick."
"Hey, we do have a couple things in common." He spat out some blood. "We both like you quite a bit." Isabella couldn't help but feel sickened by the thought of hurting Phineas, which gave her opponent enough time to move. Flint opened a desk drawer and whipped out what appeared to be a laser gun. Isabella came to her senses and cartwheeled out of the way just as ice splintered in a pillar where her body had just been. She sprinted for the unlabeled door, narrowly outrunning the rays. Flint huffed slightly as she disappeared beyond the door.
"3... 2..." Flint didn't even finish counting before he heard the mechanical whirring of a trap door, a short yell, and a thud. He jogged jauntily through the hallway beyond the door to look down the smooth, metallic pit the girl had fell into. "Now that I'm up here and you're down there, perhaps we could discuss this in further detail. Have you ever considered being queen of the multiverse?"
"I just did. Get bent."
Ferb cautiously ventured out into the backyard. He motioned for his brother to shush. Phineas slid off of his chair and tiptoed over to the sliding door, cringing as he stepped on a creaky floorboard. Ferb looked around the backyard, noticing the door was open.
"Isabella?" Ferb figured maybe she had just walked into their house earlier, but why would she not have revealed herself?
"I think she's playing a joke on us, Ferb." Phineas opened the door wider, looking into his front yard. He took a look at the ground and realized that the grass was depressed in the shape of a footprint. "Woah! Cloaking tech!"
"He's on to us, chief!" A small, panicked voice was clearly audible. All that followed was the scuffling of shoes across the street, over to the Garcia-Shapiro residence. Phineas was confused. He never did understand girls. "Hey, Ferb, did that sound like Gretchen or Ginger to you?"
Suzanne and Gretchen-164 scrambled up the side of the Garcia-Shapiro residence, sliding open the unlocked window and slipping in through it, flopping on to the bed in a huff. The girls heaved with shaky breath for a few seconds before Suzanne turned her head to look at her friend.
"Great work, Gretch! Now our worst fears are realized! He knows we're here! Him and his... mysterious lackey." Her head drifted around the room as she took in the new sights. "Man, this other me is girly." Her eyes landed on a report card on the dresser. "I guess she's a tad smarter, too. 'A pleasure to have in class'. Huh. Goody-two-shoes type."
"Most people wear two shoes, chief."
"It's an expression, moron."
Gretchen meekly recoiled. "Sorry."
Suzanne looked around and began to feel like she was in an alien world. Her room was in the same location, but the wallpaper was different. There were stuffed dolls on the bed, pink curtains on the windows, purple wallpaper... and a photo of her mother and father on the counter.
"Huh?" She picked up the photo. "This isn't my dad!" Instead of
Gretchen started searching the room as well. "If Jack isn't your father that means that you might look different in this universe! We'll need to do some disguise work!" She ripped through her friend's alternate-dimension-counterpart's closet.
"Don't panic. We'll get it together." Suzanne calmly began to inspect the dresser drawers. Pink shirts. Pink skirts. Blue Jeans. Simple taste, she thought.
Suzanne was abruptly interrupted by a harsh, sudden gasp. "Suzy! We've entered an accursed elseworld! A Lovecraftian alternate reality! A... really, very bad dimension!"
"Shut up, Gretch, it can't be that -" Suzanne spun on her heel to tell her friend to calm down, but lost the ability to speak upon seeing the interior of her other self's closet.
Phineas Flynn-Fletcher. Photos plastered on all the walls. Hearts cut out of pink card stock. Lipstick marks on those photos. A small plush toy of Phineas sat lovingly perched on a little wooden stool.
Gretchen closed her boss' slack jaw. "We're in enemy territory here, chief. Mind control. Dark psychology. Stockholm syndrome. I need to find my alternate self and see if she, too, is affected by this radical and horrific change."
Suzy straightened up and opened the window. "You're right. On closer inspection..." She leaned into her other self's closet and picked up a notebook. The cover read "Summer Memories." and the inside read "To the future Mrs. Isabella Flynn-Garcia-Shapiro" Suzanne grinned. This closet was informative indeed.
"Hah! First order of business, I am no longer Suzanne. I am Isabella, and you should be careful to not reveal my true identity." She began to turn the pages. "My skin is a tad darker, and my hair is black. Other than that, no discernible differences. We'll have to pick up some dye, then." Suzanne whipped out a cell phone. "Hey, I still have service. Under the... Phineas and Ferb network."
Gretchen checked hers. "No such luck on mine."
Suzanne – I mean Isabella - glared at her friend.
Ginger was in the Fireside Girls' lodge when she got a text on her cell phone from Phineas. "Funny prank this morning?" She looked around at the other girls in the lodge. Addyson, Milly, and Katie were gathered on the floor, and looked up from their phones.
Addyson was confused. "Did we do something to Phineas?" The other girls lazily pondered for a second, and then nodded their heads 'no'. "Does Phineas... deserve something done to him?" Now that was the real question.
"Does somebody really need to deserve it?" Katie rolled over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.
Milly glanced up at the ceiling. There was nothing interesting there. "Maybe we ought to go check on him. You know, in case Isabella needs us for the inevitable post-trauma emotional support." The other girls glared at her. "What? You know I'm right."
"Has anyone gotten ahold of her this morning?" Katie rolled back over, and then sat up. "I invited her here but she hasn't responded."
"Same over here." Ginger hopped off of her chair. "Maybe she's already at Phineas'."
"And Ferb's." Addyson added. All the girls shot her a questioning look. She nervously chuckled. "Not that that matters, anyways."
"You know..." Katie balanced on her heels. "We could go over there and see if she's having success today." There was a moment of silence. "And hopefully Ferb isn't there." She emphasized his name venomously.
All of them agreed that they would go to check on Isabella, and for no other reason.
Phineas and Ferb were missing their friends, but had nonetheless taken to assembling an underground laser-tag arena. "I don't know why there are so many pipes and tubes running under our house, but zoning codes dictate that we can't hit these." Phineas was careful to dig around what he didn't know were Perry's secret tunnels. "Yo, Ferb, how are the vests and guns coming?"
Ferb fired the laser into the back fence, leaving a small burn mark. He put his hand up in a "so-so" motion. Phineas' eyes widened. "Definitely fix that."
DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INCORPORATED!
Perry the Platypus landed on the opened balcony of DEI and very carefully stepped out of his hover-car. He felt around with his feet. There was an unusual lack of traps. Instead, Heinz had put his usual -inator ray smack dab in the middle of the balcony, completely unprotected. Perry shrugged and began searching for the self-destruct button.
"Wait! Wait!" Heinz quickly dashed out from the kitchen at the back of his lab to stop his nemesis. "My regrow-inator will do you no harm!"
Perry crossed his arms and waited for an explanation. Doofenshmirtz held out a small brown fedora in front of him. Perry gasped as he recognized the hat of Planty the Potted Plant. Planty had become a permanent resident of Doofenshmirtz' balcony perch where he-
No longer was. "That's right, Perry the Platypus. Planty the Potted Plant..." He hesitated, "has perished. Yesterday, I went to water him, since I had forgotten to the day before, and he had up and disappeared!"
Perry and Doofenshmirtz looked out over the Danville horizon. Perry wasn't sad, so to speak, because he was well aware that plants do not have sentience. But his frenemy was not. And so they shared a moment of silence.
"Well, now that that's over-" Doofenshmirtz leaned on his regrow-inator. "Behold! The regrow-inator! A combination of necromancy and science that will bring back the spark Planty left in this world!"
He started the bootup sequence and aimed it at Planty's perch. "Don't even try to stop me." Heinz warned. Perry nodded a 'yes' in response, since he was pretty sure no harm could come from this. The tip of the beam started to heat up. "You know, Vanessa refused to come to this funeral-resurrection ceremony, can you believe it? Said something about checking on a friend." He thought for a moment. "And also something about 'a plant's death being so unbelievably trivial she could not believe her own father would resort to dark magic and also hold a funeral for it.' She doesn't understand, Perry the Platypus. I'm old. I like my plants."
The laser finally went off after what seemed like ages and hit the perch. Nothing happened.
"Well. That's odd. "
"What is he doing back there?" Suzy- I mean Isabella- was standing on Gretchen-164's – I mean Gretchen's- shoulders, peering over the fence. Her cloaking device was back on, but it was low on battery. "It looks like he's making some sort of combat arena, perhaps to test out that heat ray I saw the other one making."
Suzy jumped down off of her friend's shoulders just as her and her friend's cloak ran out. "I wonder about the nature of this 'Ferb' character." Gretchen was deep in thought. "Perhaps our Phineas has conscripted some paid assistance."
"Speaking of which, do you think that's 'our' Phineas or 'theirs'?" Isabella squatted to match Gretchen's height.
"Whose Phineas?" A familiar voice suddenly came from out of nowhere.
"Phineas!" Suzanne grabbed a clump of dirt and threw it into the air. The dirt landed on what appeared to be a three-dimensional outline of their nemesis. She suddenly remembered that she was supposed to be impersonating another girl.
Phineas coughed and hacked as he turned off his cloaking device. "Wow!" He once again hacked some dust out of his throat. "Perfect countermeasure, Isabella! I was actually counting on you showing up a bit later today. Oh, and hey, Gretchen."
Phineas looked the girl over. Suzanne had changed into her counterpart's pink dress and adopted the signature bow, but there was no disguising the hair and the skin color in such a short timeframe.
"Did you do something with your hair?" Phineas' eyes narrowed.
"Uhhh... yes. Do you like it?"
"It's-" Phineas stammered for a second- "cute. I definitely prefer the raven, though. Blonde makes you look... not like yourself."
"But I'm still myself, as you can see."
"Yeah. Yup." Phineas shrugged. The three stood in a silence for a while.
The girl cleared her throat awkwardly. "So what's the plan for today, boss?" Suzanne quickly pivoted to a professional attitude, and sincerely hoped that it was the correct one.
"Gosh, Izzy, you don't have to be so formal. The plan is... a big laser fight. Ferb and I will try to get you, and you and the other Fireside Girls will try to get us! It'll be fun!" Phineas grinned madly at them as he disappeared back into his yard. His hand stretched over the fence, waving them off. "I hate to blow you two off, but we want to keep some secrets and surprises up our sleeves. Get the other girls over here in an hour."
His footsteps faded and the sound of a drill erupted from the backyard as he went back to work. "That's our Phineas alright. Acting like this fight to the death is some kind of game." Suzanne clenched her fists. "I guess our Isabella is a character struggling with feelings for a heartless villain, while also keeping her town safe from his maniacal schemes."
"Wouldn't our Phineas have immediately recognized you, sir?"
"Brilliant deduction, Gretch. Yeah, my bad, they've just got some real similarities. That's not to say we can turn down this challenge! Perhaps if we enter his competition, we can see if the two Phine-ai are in league."
Gretchen beamed. "Thanks, chief!"
"Don't flatter yourself, Gretch." Suzanne flatly responded.
Milly, Ginger, Katie, and Addyson rounded the corner, Addyson leading the troupe. "Hey, Isabella! Phineas got you in a huff again?"
Suzanne leaned into Gretchen's ear and whispered. "I'm still the leader, even here! We still have no idea where their allegiances lie, so act natural!"
The girls now had their turn to look Suzanne over. "You're gonna have to explain this whole thing." Ginger nebulously motioned her hand in Suzanne's direction.
Suzanne was about to speak when Gretchen interrupted. "She is trying to get Phineas to notice her by adhering to a different style." Suzanne glared at Gretchen for just a moment before quickly facing the girls and nodding enthusiastically.
The girls exchanged some nervous looks. Finally, Ginger spoke up. "Is that foundation?"
I lied, earlier, when I said Buford and Baljeet waiting at the airport was entirely boring, there was one strange occurrence. Buford walked up to the Slushee Burger in the terminal only to find Jeremy Johnson.
"Are you still working Slushee Dog? That's kind of depressing. Aren't you, like, 20?"
"What should I be doing, Buford? I have the internship at the observatory, but that doesn't pay enough to start a family."
"Point taken. And why are you here, in India?"
Jeremy looked around, confused. Danville was a mostly Irish, English, and Mexican-Jewish town, culturally speaking. "Ah. So that's why we aren't serving beef."
"Anyways, who's the lucky lady?"
Jeremy handed Buford a sheep-based burger with a slight frown. "You're joking, right? Candace and I have been dating for 4 or 5 years."
Buford chewed on his burger for a moment. "Candace is getting married?" His shock was slightly muffled as his mouth was still full of mutton.
Vanessa knocked on the front door of the Flynn-Fletcher household. Linda groggily answered the door. "Hey, Vanessa! How are you this morning?"
"Afternoon. You had a late night, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher." Vanessa corrected. "And, I'm good."
"Right. Thank you for stopping by! It was fun, even if I'll have to have a chat with the kids about responsibility later."
"Yeah." Vanessa cringed slightly. "Speaking of, is Ferb doing okay?"
"Ferb? He's out back as usual. Haven't checked up on him and Phineas yet. OH!" Linda suddenly perked up. She invited Vanessa in and walked over to the living room table. "He mentioned that this belonged to you and it ended up falling into our backyard yesterday. Do you have a tendency to launch potted plants into the sky?"
Vanessa frowned as she gazed upon Planty the Potted Plant. He wasn't even re-potted, which didn't make sense because it made its way here somehow. "My dad was saying something about one of his plants disappearing. How did he find this?"
"Apparently, the other day, he was 'floating about' like he does-" Linda emphasized "floating about" with finger quotes as, to her knowledge, Ferb was not literally floating as the result of an anti-gravity launcher. "-And he said he plucked the plant out of the air. By which I assume he means he caught it."
"Huh." Vanessa grabbed the potted plant. "I came here on my scooter, and I'm not sure I can carry it all the way back-"
"-Oh, that's no problem! I'll just drive you home, dear!" Linda chuckled as she grabbed her car keys from their usual spot in a bucket on the counter.
"O-Ok." Vanessa sensed that there was some ulterior motive to this kind gesture. The two headed out the door, apparently forgetting to check on Phineas and Ferb themselves. Outside, there were a gaggle of Fireside Girls sitting in the front yard, up against the fence.
Linda turned to the girls as she unlocked her red SUV. "What are you girls doing out here? Didn't the boys let you in?"
Ginger piped up before Suzanne could. "They said they're still setting up, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher!"
Vanessa slipped into the passenger's seat as Linda hopped in the driver's. Linda leaned out the window and inspected Suzanne. "That's an interesting look, Isabella." The woman put the key in the ignition and started the SUV.
For about a minute, the drive was silent save for the soft purr of the engine. Suddenly, Linda put Vanessa on the spot. "So, you're friends with Ferb now?"
"I guess so. We saw each other the other day, exchanged information, and have been chatting ever since. I had been out of town interning."
"Oh! Then you're in college?"
Vanessa looked out the window. "No, not anymore."
"Well, it's good to have time to figure yourself out. Since you're young."
Another awkward silence. Finally they arrived at DEI. Vanessa grabbed the plant and hurriedly scampered out of her seat. "Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher!" She waved as she quickly entered the building. What a mess, she thought. It seemed like Linda had believed their relationship to be inappropriate.
Wait a second, was it inappropriate? She'd always had a soft spot for the little guy, but he wasn't so little anymore. He was 16 to her 19, which definitely made things a bit more questionable. But no, she decided, their relationship was not inappropriate. Not that she thought about Ferb that way.
She shoved her thoughts aside as she made her way to the building's main elevator. "Out of service? You've gotta be joking." Lugging the potted plant up all those stairs would be a pain for sure.
Agent P was just about sure he was done for work with the day. He shrugged his shoulders and headed for the exit door.
"Well, Perry the Platypus, it seems Planty the Potted Plant is truly dead to the world."
The platypus froze. The other shoe was about to drop.
"Unless he's out there somewhere..."
The shoe was currently dropping.
"In which case I could fire this beam over the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA and random chance would resurrect him!"
Thud. That was the shoe.
"In which case I will need to use a trap after all!"
Unexpectedly, the shoe plunged even further into the floor. Doofenshmirtz pressed a button on a hidden remote and the mech-suit-inator's arm came out of the drywall, trapping Perry. This could be bad, Perry thought, that beam could cause the Tri-State Area to be overgrown with vegetation. The beam could also do nothing, but that wasn't a risk the Platypus was willing to take.
"Relax, Perry the Platypus. Planty the Potted Plant was a eucalyptus, so I'll just hit areas that might have him first, scan for him, and if he's not there, I'll hit another!"
The odds of this scheme ever locating the plant in question were slim, but Perry was at least glad to have a little time to assess his options.
Phineas-164 lowered a bucket full of iced beverages down to his captive. "Would you like some tea? I also have lemonade." He had folded out a reclining lawn chair and was currently getting a spectacular sun-tan from the glass skylight in the hallway.
"You can keep your stupid tea. And lemonade." Isabella was still, understandably, in a bad mood. She slapped the bucket, spilling the contents across the pit.
"Aw, man! That took me minutes to put together!" The boy raised his sunglasses and looked down at the mess in his pit trap. "I even put a little lemon on the side of the glass!"
"What's your plan, now, anyways, Flint?" Phineas-164 winced a little bit.
"Isabella, we're past the 'disguises' point of our relationship. I'm Phineas!" Flint insisted.
"You're not Phineas. Not really. FLINT." She yelled the last bit.
Flint sighed. "Indeed, I am not 'your' Phineas." He leaned over the edge of the pit as he perked up. "But I could be. I could be even better!" Isabella wasn't having any of it.
"The real Phineas isn't defined by how smart he is or how much power he wields or how he treats prisoners of war!" Flint didn't really care what she had to say, but he listened anyways, since that's what you do when a girl you like is talking about something you don't care about.
"What is a man, if not the summation of his abilities?" Flint shot back, raising his sunglasses and closing his sun mirror. It really wasn't an argument you could win, he supposed. Arguing that you are superior to an irreplaceable someone.
"He's virtuous! He's always there for his friends! And he practices most of the basic principles of hygiene!" She's right. Those are all uncommon characteristics in an American teenager.
"I could do all that, given the chance." Flint muttered. Isabella huffed and sat squatted up against the wall.
"Well you have, and you didn't." Isabella crossed her arms. Flint reopened his sun mirror and flipped down his shades.
"Being buddy-buddy with you guys was, unfortunately, not a choice." Flint seemed a little anxious. "If I want to see any of the people I love again, I have to make that sacrifice."
"Love is selfless, Flint. Who have you ever put before yourself?"
Flint's shoulders slumped. "Well-" He suddenly didn't feel like tanning. He folded his sun mirror, set it to his side, and sat across the length of the chair. "You, for one."
"Are you joking with me? Every part of our relationship has been one-sided! I think- no, I know- you're a belligerent moron, and I've only been treating you nicely because the guy you're trying to murder wanted me to!"
Flint opened his mouth to speak, but she was on a roll. "Not only that, but every time I offer you kindness, you return it with some scheme! Or some unwanted flirtation! Or-" She motioned around to the walls of the pit. "-This!"
Flint was processing. Perhaps he had it all wrong. Perhaps he HAD never loved anyone.
"But there are people who love me." He whispered to himself. "And if I get them back, I can let them know their love wasn't misplaced."
"I don't usually hate people, Flint. But you-" She cursed that it was not literally, "-drive me up the wall!"
Phineas ducked behind a blacklit felt wall, breathing heavily. The sharp noise of the laser tag guns echoed off of the walls faintly. He turned the corner and narrowly missed Ginger, who flung herself backwards on to the floor. She took aim at him, but he was able to transition from his crouch into a combat roll to the right. The laser whizzed past his chest and he fired at the Fireside Girl, who was now a sitting (or more accurately laying) duck. She gasped for a moment before she disappeared in a small flash and a bwoop.
"Hah! It worked!" Phineas excitedly whispered. Of course, it always worked. Didn't mean the thrill was gone. Even though he kept his voice low, he alerted Gretchen-164, who was quick to slide out from behind a small barricade.
Phineas was surprised, but luckily, Ferb was suddenly behind her, quickly hitting her with his beam. She opened her mouth to alert her friends, but was unable to as she vanished. Bwoop. Phineas and Ferb heard a sharp gasp that the two could tell was from Isabella.
"That sounded like some legitimate horror movie acting." Ferb dryly commented. "She's always so enthusiastic."
"How bout we take her down a peg? I'll get you up on top of the left wall and then-" Phineas paused. "-hold on." He nonchalantly fired a laser behind his brother's head, taking Katie out.
"Darn." bwoop.
"Anyways, you flank across the upper left and I'll go along the right wall." Phineas boosted his brother up on top of the wall. Ferb gave him a thumbs up and began to scan for Isabella, finding Addyson and dispatching her in the process. It gave him away. A thin red laser pinged out from across the arena and zapped him.
Phineas followed the laser and pinpointed where Isabella was going to be. She was always tricky when it came to tactical games, and her competitive side always came out in ferocious attacks. Phineas rounded the corner and was ready to shoot when Isabella appeared from behind the same wall and grabbed his gun.
"Woah, Isa-" She shut him up with an elbow to the gut. Phineas gacked and in his dazed state was unable to resist a judo throw over Isabella's leg. He fell to the ground in a heap, eyes wide with shock and confusion. Isabella quickly flipped him over and pinned him to the ground.
"Phineas! It's time to end this! What are you up to?" The intensity in her voice was unexpected. Phineas looked into Isabella's eyes. Then her hair. Then his eyes traveled down the length of his body.
"Oh my gosh," He whispered in horror, "You aren't Isabella."
Isabella cackled. "No doy, genius. What, did 164 not tell you about me?"
"164? You?" Phineas looked away for a moment, but quickly turned his head back up to face her. "Genius?"
Isabella looked confused. "Suzanne Garcia-Johnson. Dimension 164. The arch-enemy of Phineas Flynn-Fletcher."
"I thought we were getting along fine." Phineas looked a bit sad in spite of his strange circumstances. "Unless... It's not me you're after."
"A Phineas is a Phineas is a Phineas. I just didn't expect you to be WORSE." She spat. Phineas narrowed his eyes to avoid contact with the saliva. "Making a game out of fighting, killing innocent kids, including one you thought was on your side! It disgusts me!"
"Killing? What?" Phineas widened his eyes again and shook his head. "Nothing of the sort!"
"I saw what you did to my friends! Your little green lackey!"
A few seconds passed, and the pair stared each other down. Then, Phineas tilted his head back and laughed heartily. "Pffft. Isabella- I mean, Suzanne, I'd never hurt Ferb in a million years. When a laser hits you, you just get teleported to a waiting area to watch the rest of the match! The others are probably waiting for you to end it right now!"
Suzanne's gaze softened. "You mean-?" Her grip on his arms tightened as her expression quickly became tense. "What reason do I have to believe you?"
Phineas pushed with all of his strength with his legs, successfully throwing Suzanne off of his body. "This!" He grinned wildly as he picked up a laser gun and shot himself in the chest. "Ooh, tickles." Bwoop.
The lights around Suzanne dimmed. Five seconds later, she was teleported suddenly to a stand. She looked down at a cheering crowd of her fellow contestants and neighborhood kids. First place. Gretchen-164 looked out of place, confused and frightened.
Phineas suddenly approached from behind and put her arm around Suzanne's shoulders. She tensed, and he quickly retracted. "Oops. Sorry, not Isabella. Right." He awkwardly stood next to her. "Congratulations. You won. See? Totally innocent fun, Ms. Garcia-Johnson"
"Huh." Suzanne blankly stared at him.
Perry watched helplessly as Heinz prepared the laser. "You know, Perry the Platypus, normally I would start with a metropolitan center or something like that, but I would rather just get my plant back today than cause any damage. Tampering with the laws of nature is evil enough, right?" Perry chattered agreeably in response.
Heinz looked through his scope and set it on it's target. "How about Mount Danville? After all, it needed a little sprucing up since that volcanic eruption." Perry glared at him. Doofenshmirtz averted his gaze downwards as he put the tips of his fingers together. "You know, that I caused."
Heinz theatrically pushed the button on the side of the ray, sending it off in the direction of Mount Danville...
Flint was weighing his options. After all, letting Isabella go meant exposing his identity to his enemies, but he obviously couldn't keep her there forever. Unless... He set his half-lemonade iced tea beside his chair. "You know what? You might not be heading home quite yet, Isabella." He grinned maliciously as he leaned over the edge of the pit. "Since you rejected my offer, I realized that there was another use for you!"
"You lowdown, dirty-"
"Ransom!"
"Oh."
Flint was a bit confused. He quickly regained his composure as he slipped his shades back off. "I'll get the boys to resign themselves to horrific experiments. That way, at least, I can find a way to take their ions without killing them. See? I can compromise."
"Good luck with that. I'll be out before you know it." Isabella glared from her place in the pit. Suddenly, a beam of light came through the sklight. Isabella felt the ground shake beneath her. The lemon on the ground sprouted a tree right in front of her eyes.
"Wow." Isabella whispered. "Phineas and Ferb must have figured out I needed help."
Flint was recovering from the flash, still laying on his back. "What was that?" Isabella had climbed the tree and was now standing over him. He blinked. She was still there, glaring down at him. He blinked again. "Well, you did say 'before I know it'." Flint stood up and wordlessly climbed down into the pit.
"Exit's on the right."
Isabella didn't have the time or care to thank him, so she casually sauntered out of the lair, emerging at the base of Mount Danville. She noticed flowers blooming next to her, and looked back up the mountain. It was beautiful! All the life that had been destroyed in the explosion had recovered, lusher than ever before. The only problem was a strange, lingering stench. She smiled and hummed happily as she made her way to the bus stop.
Suzanne was still blankly staring forward as Phineas and Ferb guided her off of the pedestal and up what was left of the backyard, where Candace was waiting for them. Candace looked at her phone.
"Unbelievable!" She tapped her foot impatiently. "I have no idea where mom is!"
Phineas took his arm off of Suzanne as he peered into the house. "Her keys are gone, Candace, so she's probably just doing an errand."
The Fireside Girls came up the stairs as well, bedraggled and tired. "That was fun, Phineas." Katie patted him on the back as she made sure not to make eye contact with Ferb.
Phineas and Ferb waved at the girls as they left, leaving only Phineas, Ferb, Gretchen, Suzanne, and Candace. Ferb looked at the group. "Hey, Where IS Isabella?"
Phineas frowned. "I'll go check at her place. Ferb, can you take care of Suzy?"
"Suzy?" Candace eyed the girl suspiciously. "I just thought she would have to explain-" She waved her hand in Suzanne's direction "- this whole thing here."
"Long story short, she's from another dimension where she's Jeremy's little sister."
"In that case, I see a vast improvement." Suzanne smiled slightly as Candace turned to look at the laser pit. "I still don't know how you're gonna clean this up, bro."
"It seems Planty the Potted Plant wasn't on Mount Danville. Oh, well, we've exhausted our peaceful options. Time to blast the city." Heinz shrugged as he aimed the laser in the general direction of the intersection below. Perry was powerless to escape the mech-suit-inator. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
Ding-dong.
"I wonder who that is." Doofenshmirtz paused to go check the door. Perry huffed a sigh of relief. "Vanessa! What are you doing here?"
"My friend I introduced you to last night found your plant." She held out Planty. Heinz could scarcely believe it. He carefully inspected the pot, almost hoping for an excuse to blast Danville to plant-based pieces.
"That's miraculous! And lucky, too. I was about to destroy Danville over this!"
Vanessa looked past her father at the ray and the Platypus. Perry heaved another sigh of relief. Vanessa walked over to the machine to inspect it. "That means I can just self-destruct this one, right?"
"Sure thing, honey." Heinz placed his plant lovingly on the living room table, waving dismissively.
Vanessa hit the wrong button. A ray shot off in a random direction. "Oops." She shrugged as Perry glared at her. She pressed a button on the mech-suit remote and it released the platypus. He punched the self-destruct button, causing the machine to disappear in a puff of smoke. "I hope that didn't do any damage."
Perry chattered judgmentally and dove off the balcony, releasing his glider and heading back home.
Everyone had just left the laser arena and the participants of the match, plus Candace, were waving them off.
"That was great, Phineas!" A small pigtailed girl was the last to leave. She whispered something in his ear.
Phineas perked up and looked at his friends. "Sure! Are you guys free?" The girl looked down, disappointed, and left. Phineas looked back at the gate to see her leaving.
"Huh. I thought she wanted to get ice cream." Phineas never did understand girls. Suddenly, a beam struck the pit. All the dirt and grass on the lawn reformed right in front of the amazed group. "Who do you suppose does this stuff all the time?"
As if on cue, Linda's SUV could be heard pulling in to the driveway. Candace growled and stepped inside. That left just the Fireside Girls, Phineas, and Ferb. Ferb tapped Suzanne on the shoulder. "Suzanne, you have some explaining to do."
Phineas, who was almost out the gate himself, turned around. "It can wait. We need to make sure Isabella's alright!" At that moment, Isabella stumbled through the gate, bumping into Phineas. "Ah! There's the real deal!" Phineas grinned warmly as he put his arm around her shoulder. "Have you met Suzanne?"
The two girls stared at each other for a few seconds. Isabella was the first to offer her hand. Suzanne grabbed it and gave it a firm shake. She turned to Phineas. "We need to deal with Flint. You wouldn't believe what he pulled today!"
"You and I just met an inter-dimensional traveler, try me."
"Well, first of all, Flint is Phineas from another dimension." Isabella flatly stated. Phineas and Ferb leaned in intently. They had been tried. Perry waddled into the backyard, stared up at the boys, and chattered.
"You guys can really pull stuff together, can't you?" Suzanne inspected her new allies' handiwork. The Fireside Girls' HQ had a network of hidden tunnels under it, and in those tunnels Gretchen-164 and Suzanne had made a comfortable little apartment. The girls had installed some bunk beds and furniture, while the boys had provided state-of-the-art communications technologies and a small kitchenette. Phineas slid in a chair behind her as he set her up at her new desk.
"It was no problem, really. If all Isabella's told me is true-" Isabella shot a death glare at Phineas. He put his hands up defensively "-And it is, I'm sure. I've given you more than enough doubt over the past week or so. If that's true, then we have a duty to make sure this other me doesn't hurt anyone in his efforts to repair his dimension."
Suzanne looked like she was about to speak, but tightened her lips at the last second. Instead, she pulled her other self into a side-hug. "Thanks for the intel, Isabella. I'm curious to see what else differs between your dimension and ours. You will be working on a way to get us back home, right?"
Phineas smiled warmly at her. "Of course. We never back down from a challenge! Besides, any Isabella is a friend of mine."
The original Isabella frowned slightly. "Not that you're replaceable." Phineas corrected himself. Ferb gave him a subtle thumbs-up. "Baljeet and Buford will be home tonight, and once we get 'Jeet out of the hospital, we can get right to work on saving your dimension." Ferb felt a sudden tiredness come over him. Everyone in the room yawned. It was already about 9:00PM, and the day had been full.
The group left Suzanne and Gretchen-164 alone in their new digs. Gretchen flopped on to the bottom bunk. "Top's for you, chief."
"And don't you forget it, Gretch. Speaking of which, we ought to come up with an alias for you for public use, since there's a Gretchen here."
"I hope she's on our side too, chief."
"And I hope she's not so clumsy. Have a good night's sleep, Gretchen. We have work to get to tomorrow."
A/N: Wow, another chapter actually done on time? Crazy. The next one might take a while, though. The final word count of this chapter is 8k minus the A/Ns and title. Since this fic comes really slowly, I think I would like to recommend some good fics to read in the meantime. I'll try to recommend one fic a chapter.
DatJazzGuy is a really good fluff author, and "At Least She's Having Fun" is a great little comedy series. It's hard to nail timing in text, but he nails it.
NEXT TIME: Flint Was Here
Flint finds a new base! Suzanne faces a choice! The boys can't catch a break!