A/N: Last chapter of the first part of the fic! The second will be coming along as soon as I have decent roadmap for it, because man did I not plan on this going some of the directions it did. Thanks for all the viewership and support! Fanfiction is a self-indulgent process, for the most part, but I also really like giving people a good laugh. The PF fanfiction scene is kinda dead, but hopefully CATU injects it with some new life. Any of you guys out there that considered writing, take some time to pick up the ol' keyboard, because I sat on the idea for 5 years, and really wish I had started earlier. As always, read, review, and enjoy! Oh, and you Phinbella/ Ferbnessa fans, I'm finally getting there. As always, read and review!
BTW, this chapter may spoil elements of MML, but if you haven't seen it and don't care (heaven knows why) I've slipped in broad explanations.
Chapter 10: Candace and Jeremy Have a Wedding and Nothing Goes Wrong
"Well, shoot." Phineas tapped his foot in frustration. It was the big day for his sister, and he had just received bad news, not even five hours from the wedding that he was supposed to be in charge of planning. He placed a phone call to his father, and waited for a few seconds as the dial tone sounded.
"Phineas? What's the matter?"
"Dad." Phineas whispered into the phone, grabbing his hair with his free hand. "We've lost the Minister. A stroke of bad luck, or something. Was stuck in traffic when Milo walked by, and now his car's totaled and his leg is broken."
"Hmm. I'll make some calls. Don't get Candace worried, though. She's stressed enough as it is."
"Thanks, pop." Phineas pumped his fist and grinned. "I need to collect the, uh, guests Ferb and I are bringing anyway." He grabbed a tie of the counter.
"No problem, Son. Worst comes to worst, you probably know the ceremony front to back, right?"
"Yep. As much as Candace would hate it, I could pull it off." He made an "ok" sign at Ferb, who was sitting across the room. Ferb grinned as he picked up the car keys, tossing them lightly in the air and snatching them with finesse, using his index finger to spin the keys on the ring. Phineas fiddled with his necktie for a bit but was unable to make it work for him.
The house was almost empty, as Linda and Candace had already left for a light lunch before the wedding. Phineas looked around. Perry had also gone. That wasn't what was on his mind, however.
"Hey, where's Isabella?"
Ferb rolled his eyes at his brother. Phineas caught the look, and scratched his chin for a second. "Oh, right. I've gotta go over THERE and get her today. Tradition, or something. You want to come?"
Ferb rolled his eyes even harder. Phineas shrugged. "What's your problem?" Ferb rolled his eyes for a third time. Phineas swung the door open as he walked out, grasping the tie he had failed to get around his collar. "And make sure Perry's in the house before we head out."
Ferb looked around. There was a distinct lack of platypus.
Perry the Platypus had some trouble processing recent events. The effects of Milo's return, what was dubbed the "Milo Re-Memory", were widespread, especially when it came to situation Doofenshmirtz. Firstly, the obvious: Doof's entire moral alignment had changed, and it might have made him obsolete. Heinz' Re-Memory had also brought to his attention that Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated was only called that because they hadn't replaced the sign; the actual name of the company was now "Doofenshmirtz Engineering Incorporated." The sign hadn't been replaced for what was apparently financial reasons, being one of the few things that survived the initial demolition.
Having suddenly found himself out of an official job, Perry the Platypus realized that he could finally have a well-deserved break. Laying underneath the tree in the backyard just wasn't like it used to be, especially without the boys. He got up from his rest, shook the sleep from his eyes, and waddled inside to find Ferb.
"Oh, there you are, Perry." Ferb knelt down and extended a hug to his pet, Perry happily obliging. Perry chattered in satisfaction as Ferb stroked his fur. Ferb whipped out his phone and suddenly remembered he was on a schedule. He set Perry down on the couch and smiled before disappearing out the door.
Perry lounged on the couch as he waited for his owners to return to the house. About 5 minutes into a nap, he remembered that there was a wedding happening, and they wouldn't be back for a while. He thought that perhaps this was a milestone worth seeing... from the shadows. Reaching under the couch cushion, he dug around for the stealth camo module the boys had lost, finding it in a manner of seconds. He chattered happily and left out the back door, being sure to close it on the way out.
"I'm just a bit apprehensive, Gretch." Isabella sighed. She was laying in her bed the wrong way, with her feet resting on the wallpaper and her head near the bedpost. She had been prepared for Phineas' arrival for a bit, having put on makeup and a nice pink dress that ran the full length of her legs. "Every time Phineas and I get a teensy bit closer, the universe seems to find some way to pull us apart. Remember the picnic back when we were kids?"
"You won't let me forget about it." Gretchen's monotone elicited a chuckle from Isabella.
"Oh, fine, okay. Gosh." Isabella sat up. "Jeez, the way he was acting yesterday, I could tell he was just a bit more into the whole rescue mission than everyone else. Of course, that could be me mistaking some trees for a forest. I'm just not sure if this is a 'date', y'know?" She smiled as she adjusted the neckline of the dress in the mirror, preforming a small twirl.
"Keep in mind, Isabella, that it was basically his fault that you were even in that situation in the first place, trusting some stranger over his supposed 'best friend'."
"I can't believe you guys turned on him in my absence, too! He corrected his mistake, and he apologized, so we're all cool now."
"That's so typical of you, Izzy. He messes with your emotions time and time again! This time he put you in danger! I think you can see that as your ally and advocate, I'm a little bitter. I just want you to demand he treat you better is all."
Isabella thought for a moment. "You might be... partially right. Let's see if today is the big breakthrough, eh? Speaking of how we're treating someone, how's the Gretchn't situation?"
"Gretchen't is still staying in that little place we had the boys make for her and Suzanne. Phineas practically begged us to let her stay there, since she wasn't comfortable staying with the boys. She isn't joining the wedding party, of course, but that's no worry, because Arrested Development got canceled after the second season in her dimension and she wants to see how it concludes."
"Sounds good to me. What are you planning on wearing?"
The girls discussed their dress options for a minute or two until Isabella heard a knock from downstairs. She smiled manically, barely able to contain herself. "Gretchen, I gotta go! He's here!"
She headed downstairs, passing by her parents bedroom. Joseph finished buttoning up his suit, and took to the insurmountable task of tying an actual tie. It was embarrassing, but without assistance, he had found himself hiding that he used a clip-on for the entirety of his deployment. After some unsuccessful attempts, Vivian, who was much better at this sort of thing, grabbed the tie and wrapped it around her husband's neck.
"Crazy how fast these kids grow up." He wistfully huffed. Just yesterday, it seemed, he was teaching Isabella judo throws in the backyard. Now she was totally out of his control, it seemed. Getting into crazy trouble and inter-dimensional wars and all that sort of thing. At least, it seemed, he had done a good job of making her cut out for it. "Hey, do you know about that Phineas kid?"
"What don't I know?" Vivian chuckled. "Isabella describes in great detail basically anything that she even sees as a romantic move. And those crazy stories they come up with are something else. How did she say she ended up in Seattle with him, then?"
Joe realized his revelation might be unbelievable, so he took the conversation elsewhere. "Uh, you might have noticed, I, uh, wasn't super, uh, upset about it." Joe adjusted his collar a bit. "Didn't ground her or anything."
"Yeah. And it surprised me, darling. She was totally out of line!" Vivian pulled the tie just a bit to tight and Joseph hacked. It quickly loosened.
"There's more to it than just her running off. Apparently it wasn't ALL her idea." Joseph thought it ironic that for the same reasons it never worked for Candace, he would have a hard time describing the incident to his wife. What can I leave out? He wondered.
"Well, firstly, I'm a terrible judge of character. Flint was involved, so he won't be around anymore, and if he is, we're calling the cops. Secondly, she told me she was heading out with a friend, and I gave her permission. Wasn't aware that they were going out so far." Joseph noticed Vivian stopped mid-tie. "Hey, don't worry. He didn't rough her up or anything. As you can see, she's resilient as ever. I think we've been giving her a bit too much independence is the problem."
Vivian snickered behind him. Joseph craned his head but failed to turn it 180 degrees. "What's so funny? I thought you were worried."
"Of course you're a poor judge of character." She chucked a small bit. "You don't like Phineas Flynn."
"Oh, believe me, yesterday gave me plenty of reasons to hate the kid, too. Three hours of driving will do a lot." Joseph angrily muttered.
"Seattle is six hours away, though." Vivian stopped on her way out the door.
"Not with the Flynn-Fletchers, it isn't."
Downstairs, Isabella opened the door, trying to hide her excitement. Phineas was standing there, nervously fidgeting, necktie in his hands. He had also dressed more carefully than usual, opting for black slacks and a white dress shirt with a sharp black jacket he left unbuttoned. "G-good evening. How ya doin?" He stuttered a bit.
"I'm doing... good." Isabella smiled sweetly. Phineas' nerves very rarely got to him like this. Her mood was heightened, and he was paying enough attention to tell. He scratched the back of his neck nervously before extending his other hand and grinning.
"Alright, well, Ferb's driving, since I've got just the permit, and we have to go pick up Vanessa before we head to lunch."
"Oh? I thought he was 'going stag'." Isabella twirled her hand up in the air dramatically. Phineas chortled. "Well, I'm glad for him." More time for us, I suppose. She tilted her head slightly as she stepped off the porch.
"Wait a sec, you two! Phineas. I need to talk to you real quick." Phineas tensed just the tiniest bit at the sound of Joseph's voice. He had been acting a little aggressive lately, and the Flynn-Fletcher siblings weren't really sure how he was taking the whole "Inter-dimensional conflict" thing. Isabella's worried smile quickly communicated to him that she shared the same feelings.
"Alright, Mr. Garcia-Shapiro." Phineas tried his best not to lose his voice. He stiffly walked inside as Joseph came down the stairs. He was about a head taller than Phineas still, so when they met in the middle of the room he was an intimidating presence to be sure.
"Phineas." His voice was a lot less distressed than they had heard yesterday. In fact, it was awfully serious. Quiet, too. He put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "This whole... thing that's been going on. I need your guarantee that you're not gonna take your eyes off her."
Phineas glanced back at Isabella, who waved at him and grinned. That would not be a problem. "Yessir."
"If I'm being honest, I'm less qualified to make sure she's safe than you are."
"Uh... yessir?" He wasn't super sure that it was the correct answer, but Joseph nonetheless patted him on the shoulder and waved him off.
"You two have a good time." He turned around and began to head back up the stairs. "Not too good, though." He quickly added, in a lower tone only Phineas could hear. Phineas' goosebumps started to die down, and he walked out the door to meet the still grinning Isabella.
"What did he say? Did he try to scare you?" Isabella humorously prodded his stomach.
"No, no. The opposite, actually." Phineas waved nonchalantly as he wrapped his hand around his friend's. "He, uh, actually told me I'm kinda in charge of protecting you."
"Pffft. I'm in charge of protecting me." Isabella cockily smirked. "It'll be nice to have some... backup." Phineas smiled. It was nice to not be under so much pressure, for the first time in a while. Or at least it wouldn't have been, had the boy not received an unfortunate text.
"Crud! Dad couldn't get a replacement!" Phineas rubbed his temple with his free hand. "Isabella, we might have to skip lunch, or at least delay it until I can put this together."
"No way!" Isabella stopped and stamped her foot. "The one time you and I can finally-" She stammered.
"Hang out?" Phineas worried that an aneurysm might be impending. Was she always like this?
"Hang out! Suddenly we're hitting an improbable run of bad luck!"
"Well, considering that Milo was the root cause of the problem, I wouldn't call it improbable, except by scientific definition, but-"
"Could you just..." Isabella made an exaggerated strangling motion before quickly retracting her hands. "I'll come with you. Let's sort this out together, alright?"
"You sure? I'd hate to make you miss lunch, Ferb and Vanessa could..."
"The lunch is the bottom of my priority list." Isabella caught herself. "Candace is counting on you, which means she's counting on me." Even on a date, which might not be a date, she could barely muster the courage to say anything directly romantic. Apparently, neither could Phineas, because his feelings were as hard to read as always, in spite of his open tone.
"Together does sound nice, then." Phineas grinned sheepishly. "I'll borrow Ferb's car after the two get to lunch and we'll go pick up whatever pastor we can get our hands on."
"You make it sound like a kidnapping." Isabella playfully frowned at him. The two walked together out to the curb.
"And learn to tie a tie! Don't think I didn't see it in your pocket, Flynn!" The two flinched at the sudden yell from the Garcia-Shapiros front door. Isabella rolled her eyes. Ferb had pulled out the car, and was waiting for them. Phineas opened the back door for Isabella, slipping in behind her. The car was an oldie, but a goodie. A restored purple convertible with the top down: the most "summer" vehicle that Phineas could think of when he restored it for Ferb's birthday on his 16th. As per the Flynn-Fletcher standard, the vehicle was loaded with so many outlandish gadgets that you could make one up on the spot and it would already be loaded in.
Phineas leaned around the front driver's seat. "Ferb, there's been a small change of plans. As of right now, I'm gonna need to borrow the car to get a new minister for the wedding after we get to lunch." Ferb glanced back at Isabella. "She's with me." Ferb let the smallest smile escape his lips. Good for her.
The drive to Doofenshmirtz Evil- I mean Engineering- Incorporated was mostly uneventful. "Hey, so, Ferb. Is it official? With Vanessa, I mean? You two gonna be a thing from now on?" Isabella asked. Ferb grinned.
"About as official as the backseat of this car." He smugly intoned.
"These leather seats were actually from the original manufacturer, you know." Phineas patted the seat and chuckled. Isabella was confused, mostly.
"Wait, what were you referring to?" Phineas asked.
Flint and Suzanne were sitting in the front seat of a U-Haul they had "rented" from a "rental agency" in "Seattle". Suzanne was idly reading a book, her feet up on the dashboard. Flint had figured that she didn't want to be bothered, and was focused on the road. Because his universe was technically a year older than the universe they were currently in, he could technically legally drive a car, not that it mattered, because he had never driven before in his life, and was not licensed.
"These are so much harder to steer than any of the stuff I make. Why can't I just attach a remote control to it?"
Suzanne looked up from her book. "Wait, you don't know how to drive?"
The car swerved out of the left lane just in time to avoid hitting a banana truck. Flint sheepishly shrugged. "I thought I would get the hang of it pretty fast."
"You moron! I know how to drive! Why didn't you ask me to?"
"It-it-it didn't occur to me, alright?" Flint shrugged, less sheepishly and more panicked-ly this time. "Besides, I thought you wanted to read."
"I want to be alive when we get to Danville, Phin." She muttered, her expression of exasperation drew a little chuckle out of Flint. "What, is that funny?"
Flint grinned as he pulled over (smashing the front bumper in a ditch, but hey, it's a "rental"). "A little?"
The girl's indignant look stayed on for about 5 seconds before she started to snicker. "Yeah, I guess it is."
The two switched seats. Flint put his feet up on the dash and picked up Suzanne's book. "Would you like me to read aloud to you while you drive? Two birds with one stone."
"As much as I would like you serenade me with the gory details of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, I would rather know... Whatcha plannin'?"
"The last thing I planned was us stealing this U-Haul. I don't really have a plan for when we get to Danville."
Suzanne's eyes widened as she felt a metaphorical vein burst in her temple. "You just do this stuff off the cuff, don't you?"
Flint frowned. "I guess. Let me see here, what do we know about today on the subject of our targets?"
"Candace Flynn is marrying somebody. So they're all gonna be at a wedding."
"Right, she's marrying Jeremy Johnson at the First Baptist of Danville around 5 tonight."
Suzanne's jaw dropped. "There's a Jeremy in this universe?"
"Yeah. He even has a sister named Suzy." Flint glanced at her, and quickly took note of her shellshocked reaction. "Crazy, right? Look out for that porcupine."
The U-Haul barely missed the prickly animal that had been crossing the street. "That must have been rough for you, seeing Candace yesterday. And she really let you have it, too."
"Yeah. I'll spare you seeing Jeremy. Trust me, it's like dropping a bomb on your psyche." Flint pulled out a notebook and began to brainstorm, tapping his chin with the pencil's eraser. "I suppose the parts from the Dimensional Drainatron could be modified to..." His face reflected a sudden eureka moment, which Suzanne secretly found a little cute. He started writing so fast that the lead on the pencil became a cloud of smoke.
Opening the window to let out said smoke, he blew on his notepad and rubbed off some lead dust. "I've got it, Suze! We can build a bomb!"
"I'm listening."
"We simply create a power source based on the energy we get from dropping an object, and we leave the battery pods open, so we can just drop it NEAR the boys, harness the ions, and open the dimensional rift!"
"That sounds implausible at best." Suzanne rolled her eyes, glimpsing a dissapointed look from her partner. "but I'm on board." She quickly added. Flint smiled.
"We just need a place to drop it near the church..." He rubbed his chin.
"If that old scientist buddy of yours is gonna be at that wedding, the odds are we can just let ourselves in."
"But what are the odds that he actually ends up at that wedding?"
"Hah! Two birds with one stone!" Phineas crowed triumphantly, raising his arms into the air. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was crowded into the backseat of Ferb's car with Phineas and Isabella, making an imperfect fifth wheel to their double date that might not really be a date. "I can't believe Doctor D is an ordained minister!"
"Yeah." Vanessa said under her breath, "Neither could I." She crossed her arms. Ferb was glad to have solved their pending issue, but shared Vanessa's distaste. Isabella was thrilled to be crushed up against Phineas, and was doing a really bad job of disguising it.
"What, are you glad to see him again or something?" Phineas asked, practically breathing down her neck. He adjusted himself slightly to let her rest her head on his shoulder.
"Yeah?" Isabella took what she got. Phineas lowered his arms, which meant that he slipped one over her shoulder... But it didn't mean that much, because he also put one over Doof's.
"Thanks for agreeing so readily, doctor." Phineas warmly smiled at Heinz.
"I'm just putting my degree to work." The doctor shrugged. "Wait, I'm getting paid for this, right?"
"Dad!"
"Just kidding! Just kidding!"
The rest of the ride was mostly a very comfortable silence, which coincidentally was Ferb's favorite method of communication. He smiled with satisfaction. Phineas and Isabella mostly just smiled to themselves as they enjoyed each other's closeness. Vanessa scowled at the rear view mirror.
Lunch was at a small mom and pop joint, "The Diner Downtown". The whole place was originally built in the 1950's as a soda fountain, but had recently undergone refurbishments. That was not to say the diner was more modern, as it retained it's aesthetic, but the whole place was very neat and tidy.
The group had originally planned on taking booth seats, but the booths could only hold 4 people, and their party had suddenly expanded. Phineas quickly directed Isabella to the booth on the opposite side of the room, leaving Ferb and Vanessa to handle Heinz. Ferb shot him a death glare the likes of which he had never seen. Phineas grinned mischievously in return.
Ferb reluctantly took his seat across from Vanessa... and Heinz. "Don't mind me, just, er, pretend I'm not even here." Doofenshmirtz awkwardly tugged on his collar. There were plenty of seats open, so this was a conscious choice. How he could feel threatened by a 16 year old was the real question. Ferb cleared his throat and buried himself in his fold-out menu, and Vanessa did the same. "I already know what I want." Heinz confidently sat back.
The server was along shortly. "Afternoon. What would you like to eat?" His monotone suggested a statement despite it being a question.
"I would like-" Ferb started.
"I just need a plain burger. And before you serve us, I would like to inform you that I do not intend-"
"I'll cover it." Ferb raised his voice slightly, cutting off Heinz tersely.
"Dear God..." Vanessa muttered in a low tone, putting her hand up to her forehead and lowering her chin to the table. Ferb folded his menu.
"I would like a 'Officer Rodriguez 5-0 Burger' and my friend will have a 'Southern BBQ Club'. Just water for me and the old man, a diet cola for her." Ferb's cool recital sounded like he had a script down. The server simply smiled, wrote down the orders, took the menus, and proceeded to the other table.
"Thanks, Ferb." Vanessa whispered, keeping low to the table. "But for the record, I also wanted a 'Rodriguez'."
Ferb frowned slightly, having recalled she mentioned a love of barbecued foods in their text exchanges. "Well, I guess I'm having a barbecue club, then." She smirked at him. It sent his heart all sorts of fluttering, a feeling he wasn't used to.
"You totally got the soda right, though. Impressive." She crossed her arms and sat back, smirking. Ferb grinned nervously and raised a slightly twitching thumbs-up.
"I don't see what the point of not tipping is if someone's just going to cover it." Heinz huffed.
"And I don't see the point of not tipping if you're trying to turn over a new leaf." Vanessa retorted sarcastically.
"Baby steps." Ferb whispered. Vanessa giggled and Heinz felt his face burning up.
The server had an equally colorful experience over at the other table. Phineas and Isabella were already giggling, hiding behind their menus.
"Okay, okay. Lemme take a shot at this, then." Phineas put his menu down and folded it. "The lady would like a BLT." This rewarded him a shocked stare from his date. He put his hands up defensively. "-With turkey bacon, specifically. No-go on the pork." Her face quickly turned into a grin as she chuckled.
"Got it." The server mumbled into his notepad.
"And the GENTLEMAN," Isabella emphasized, "would like a cheeseburger, no onions, with a fried egg on top and some bacon. Whatever variety." Phineas stifled some laughter, holding his hand up to his face. The server was mostly annoyed. Nonetheless, he wrote the orders down and walked off. A few second passed in silence between the two at the table.
"You totally nailed me, Phineas." Isabella sat back in the chair, arms behind her head.
"You were pretty close, too, but I like barbecue sauce on the roof of my burgers." Phineas proudly declared, "So I'm the closest, therefore, I win."
"And by totally nailed me, I meant I like my BLT's extra-toasty, and you failed to recognize that."
"You made that up on the spot!" Phineas protested. "But fine. I guess it's a tie."
"Speaking of..." Her eyes drifted to Phineas' slacks' pocket, where the tie was still bundled up. "Do you really have trouble tying a tie?"
"If it wasn't such a formal occasion, I would be wearing a clip-on." Phineas dejectedly looked down at his pocket.
"Funny, my dad wears a clip-on whenever my mom's not around to do it for him."
"Isn't he... away at sea a majority of the year?"
"I said what I said." Isabella scooted forward just the tiniest bit. Finally, the two were at a loss for conversation, so naturally, a new topic had to be chosen. Phineas looked around the room.
"You know, this is the same place where we got ice cream on your birthday five years ago." Phineas casually started. "I think that was our first date."
"F-first?" Isabella stammered slightly. A sudden silence covered the table, like a blanket of nerves.
"Yeah... First." Phineas' brow furrowed. "You know we don't get to be alone that often, so that's what I'd consider..."
"Consider? Phineas, we haven't... BEEN dating." Isabella looked worried. "Are you, like, Flint in disguise or something?"
"Flint!" Phineas snapped his fingers. "Yeah, that's what started this whole mess. I thought we kinda had a whole steady thing going, but then this dude shows up and suddenly it's like we haven't been a thing for as long as we've known each other!"
"We... haven't been a thing for as long as we've known each other." Isabella rested her elbows on the table. "Right?"
"But we did all that stuff together, you know? The haunted house, the Paris trip, which I'll admit I had to focus on since we were off schedule, but I brought it back, right? uh..." He scratched the back of his head. "We're practically inseparable. Like, almost as much as Ferb and I."
"Wait, are you saying we've had a mutual crush on each other for the past five-" She covered her mouth suddenly.
Phineas sat there, rubbing his chin, processing thoughts for a few seconds. He leaned back on his seat and laughed. "Oh my gosh! You had no idea? It was so obvious!" He waved a hand to the side. "I was really just nervous about romance, you know. I was 10! So I just decided, 'Hey! Let's see if I can pick this up when I'm feeling romantic!' and here we are." His tone was very factual.
"You're feeling... romantic?" Isabella was unprepared. This was not exactly the confession she was expecting.
"Yeah. In hindsight, I probably should have started earlier." He paused for a moment before he raised his eyebrows. "Oh my gosh. Was that why we saw less of each other last year? You thought I didn't like you?"
"Y-yeah." Isabella was getting more and more accustomed to this idea by the second. Yes, perhaps. In hindsight, she had been blind to how much he cared about her. The revelation came with a hint of anger, at herself or Phineas, she didn't know.
"Who wouldn't like you? I was worried you stopped liking me!" Phineas threw his head back as he put his palm to his face. "Do you know how bad that would have been?"
Isabella's anger disappeared in a flash. She started laughing uncontrollably, nearly falling over in her seat. Her confusion answered, her great question finally laid to rest, and the answer was that she was the fool the ENTIRE TIME!
"Yeah, I started questioning our relationship when Flint showed up and he landed that date with you, and then that whole fiasco with the kidnapping. So from your perspective..?"
"I was wondering whether or not you liked me... like that. This whole time."
Phineas got quiet, resting his elbow on the table and his chin on his palm. "Well, gee. I'm sorry. Really sorry. I just figured you kinda got what we had."
"You are legendarily bad at understanding emotions, Phineas Flynn." She grinned at him as her finger circled the top of a salt shaker.
"I am? Well, right now, to me, it looks like you couldn't be happier, and I am forgiven." He smugly crossed his arms.
"The rule of broken clocks, Phin. And... You will have to make up for this." She sharply retorted.
Phineas grinned. "Well, I'm glad psychopathic inter-dimensional counterparts of ours came into this dimension and reminded us why we like the real thing so much." He leaned forward, resting his chin on the table. His date responded in kind, touching the tip of his nose with hers. Ferb looked on with some jealousy as they got lost in each other's eyes. Some people bump into each other and they just have a happy ending. He was going to need to put some effort into getting his. He looked back at Vanessa, who was also staring at the two. She turned to him and smirked smugly. Heinz was on his phone, takking away at the buttons at just a loud enough volume as to surgically remove any romantic atmosphere the room had.
"Oh, man!" Ferb heard from the table across. "Just imagine if I hadn't figured this out! It would have been years before we did something like this again!"
Phineas and Isabella were practically in tears laughing, the girl banging a fist lightly against the table. "Yeah, imagine that!" Her voice cracked slightly, getting an even harder laugh out of her companion.
"Sounds miserable." Heinz muttered.
Isabella suddenly reached across the table, practically lunging for Phineas' pocket, snatching the tie out. Phineas' laugh abruptly cut off as he flinched. "Whatcha doin?" He asked.
Isabella tied the tie around her own neck effortlessly. "Showing you how it's done." She smugly gloated. Phineas frowned, but not without some humor in his expression. The girl untied the tie as quickly as she had put it on and threw it across the table. Phineas picked it up and made a few awkward attempts at a Four-in-Hand Knot.
"Oh, just turn your back to me already." Isabella got up and sat down next to her date, reaching around his body and grabbing the tie. "Besides, a Four-In-Hand is simple, and everyone knows it." She took a deep breath before executing a perfect Full Windsor effortlessly. She tightened it around his neck, noticing some goosebumps had sprung up on the back of it. She smiled to herself, dusted off her hands theatrically, and sat back down across from Phineas.
Phineas' head was swirling.
"How the tables turn..." Vanessa muttered. Ferb chortled.
Lunch past that point was uneventful. On the way to the venue, the boys quickly ran Heinz through the proceedings in the backseat as Vanessa and Isabella sat up front, with the older of the two taking the reigns of the vehicle. "We're going for a traditional processional." Phineas pointed at a pamphlet containing a program of the event. "VERY traditional. Candace was super specific about it. That means Grandparents, Parents, Groom, Officiant-" Ferb pointed at the tip Doofenshmirtz' nose.
"Yeah, I know. That's me."
"- The rest of the wedding party, flower girl, then finally the ring bearer. Our Grandparents on Dad's side came by plane, and are probably here by now, since that was Dad's job."
Ferb whipped out his cell phone and shot his father a text to confirm, giving Phineas an "ok" sign. He grabbed the pamphlet out of Doctor Doofenshmirtz' hands and flipped it around, showing him the page that contained a list of the processional members.
"I can't believe Suzy Johnson of all people is the flower girl." Isabella turned around to face the boys.
"You and Candace always used to go on about how dangerous she was, and she never was." Phineas chuckled as he eased himself back in his seat. "What, do you still think she's evil?"
"Nah, just surprised she made up with Candace. You know how bad girls get."
"Actually, I don't." Phineas shrugged. "I mostly know cool ones."
"Lucky." Ferb interjected. Vanessa gave him a curious look in the rear view mirror. He simply smirked at her. She shook her head, snickering under her breath.
"Who's the ring bearer, anyways?" Vanessa asked. Phineas took a moment to remember.
"I think Suzy's playing both roles. Jeremy's nephews are out of town, and she objected to me going to the future to grab her son."
"One of her sons, you mean." Isabella corrected.
"I'm going to forget I heard that, McFly." Phineas rolled his eyes at her.
"Oh, sorry." Isabella giggled. Vanessa put her arm up on the back of her seat. She hadn't been this relaxed in a long time.
Perry had been on the back of this car, camouflaged, the entire time. Pretty sneaky, huh? He got off the car and, true to his nature, checked his surroundings, especially eyeing the DEI building. He decided it would be best if he stood guard.
The Flynn-Fletcher clan had finally gathered with their friends at the First Baptist of Danville. The crowd was sizable, containing members of the Johnsons, the Garcia-Shapiros, the Hiranos, the Van Stomms, and a few personal friends as well. Phineas and Ferb hopped out of the car, the others lagging behind, as they rushed into the lobby to hug Grandma and Grandpa Fletcher. "Gramps!" Phineas hugged his grandfather tightly. He released and the two looked each other up and down.
"Phineas and Ferb, my stars! You boys have grown into fine young lads, you have!" Reginald grabbed Ferb and gave his hair a tousle. Winifred hugged Phineas.
"And you're still old!" All of them laughed heartily. Vanessa, Heinz, and Isabella finally straggled through the door. Isabella quickly put herself at Phineas' side.
"Hey, Mr. Fletcher! Mrs. Fletcher!" She beamed at the two. Reginald picked up Isabella in a big bear hug. His bad knee held up, since his prosthetic was a birthday gift from the boys earlier that year.
"Isabella! How's the old Fishmonger band?" He set her down, and she took some time to get her bearings.
"We're doing great, Mr. Fletcher. Just finished our first years of high school, as a matter of fact." She looked around, spotting a few of her Fireside Girls in the crowd. Baljeet and Ginger were getting along famously. He had even gained enough confidence to put his arm around her shoulder.
"Please, call me Reginald. Same goes for Winnie, too." Reginald put his arm around his wife. Ferb quickly whipped out his phone and started showing his grandfather some of his favorite inventions from the past years. The two crowded into their own little group, Reginald taking an intense interest in his grandson's work.
Conversations flowed freely between all the guests with the exception of one Joseph Garcia-Shapiro, who kept nervously adjusting his tie, looking over his shoulder. He had the distinct feeling that Flint and Suzanne weren't taking the day off just because Candace was getting married. In war, it's easiest to defeat your enemies if they're all neatly packed in one spot, and this was a choke-point if he ever saw one.
Milo Murphy casually strolled into the venue. A sign fell down behind him.
"You were right. He isn't here." Flint used his spare key to the building to get inside Doofenshmirtz Engineering Incorporated's penthouse apartment. "I guess he'll be at the wedding, then, too."
"Well, at least we had some luck this morning." Suzanne grinned as the two each carried a box of components into the building. "We should have enough time to build this thing while our enemies are completely unaware." She set the box down and rubbed her hands together maliciously. She had already disabled the elevator, and it was a long climb.
"With them all gathered, it's a nice spot for an ambush. How are we gonna extract Doofenshmirtz and his daughter, though? We have no idea what it's gonna do to anyone actually caught in the admittedly small blast radius."
"How about – duh - we don't?" Suzanne thunked Flint on the forehead with her index finger, sporting an amused expression. "They spat in the face of our mercy yesterday!"
"I suppose. Might not actually kill anybody other than the boys, anyways. Just replace 'em." Flint cracked his knuckles and started to work. He was completely unaware of two things: The Fireside Girls were effected by positivity ions, and Milo Murphy would be at this wedding.
The processional proceeded as well as a professional processional could proceed. The Grandparents took their seats in the pews on the sides of the sanctuary, followed by the parents, with the exception of one Lawrence Fletcher. Jeremy Johnson, who you haven't seen in a while, strode confidently down the aisle, sharply dressed in a black tuxedo with a red bow-tie. He had envisioned himself in this moment since the day he first kissed Candace, and now he was here. He didn't, however, expect the officiant that followed him to be a hunchbacked, online-certified pharmacist who had clearly gone and gotten a suit last minute. He hadn't met Heinz many times before, so he hoped the boys were right in trusting him for the job.
The rest of the wedding party filed through the room, taking their seats in the back. Ferb, holding Vanessa's hand grabbed a spot next to Linda, who looked like she hadn't slept in days. Getting back from what they called a mostly uneventful trip to Seattle to the last-minute wedding details was stressful for the Flynn-Fletcher parents. Isabella, a few seconds behind due to her dress, was carefully led by Phineas into the spot next to Vanessa. Phineas slipped in next to her, tucking his hands in his lap. Isabella glanced behind her to see that Baljeet's family was sat behind them, accompanying the Hiranos. Baljeet nervously kept a bit of distance between him and his date.
Boy, I hope they're not too tired to stay awake. Phineas leaned over and curiously peered at his mother's baggy eyes, completely forgetting that he was in the middle of his own personal crisis. Ferb handed his mother a glass of water, which she quickly downed. He then slipped under the pews undetected to throw away the Styrofoam cups, and returned in seconds. He gave his younger brother a thumbs-up.
Coltrane was, obviously Jeremy's best man, and his old bandmates joined as groomsmen, taking their place next to Jeremy. The bridesmaids filed in, consisting of Candace's best friends. Taking up the rear as the maid of honor was Stacy, who you now remember hasn't actually appeared until now. Vanessa didn't reconnect with Candace in time to get a spot, to her relief.
The dual act of flower girl and ring bearer was none other than not-so-little Suzy Johnson, who was by now about 10. She happily agreed to both roles after getting over Candace and Jeremy's relationship in a surprising twist when she was 9. One could suspect that it came from the idea of romance finally solidifying itself in her head as something extraneous from immediate family, which is to say it was because she developed a crush on Buford Van Stomm.
For the record, 15 year old Buford was having none of it.
Suzy presented the rings to Coltrane and Stacy. Coltrane leaned around Jeremy's back and whispered something along the lines of "He'll enjoy his castle" to Stacy, earning a stifled laugh from her and Jeremy. Jeremy tried his best to keep composure and shoot his friend a disapproving glare, but couldn't keep a straight face.
Finally, after what seemed like eons, Candace Flynn, accompanied by Lawrence Fletcher, walked down the aisle. The dress the boys had made with the Fireside Girls' help (And a bit of Flint's) was a showstopping masterpiece. Phineas almost couldn't help but take pride less in that his sister was getting married and more in the dress he had designed walking the aisle with her. Phineas glanced back at his companions, and it was at this point that he became distracted.
Something in Isabella's eyes was different when she watched Candace walk down that aisle. Her imagination sent her to a land of possibilities. One day she was gonna walk that aisle. Wear that dress. Be given away by her father. The whole idea made her brain swirl, so much so that she didn't see Phineas eyes practically glued to hers.
Phineas felt a lump rise up in his throat. A person isn't like a computer. You can't break it down into parts, you can't study it, and you can't guarantee the outcome of any given action. Romance, "real" romance, he realized, might be his one fear. Perhaps that was the reason he was so distant. Disregarding that fear for a moment, he twisted his left hand up in Isabella's right, and tore his gaze away from her and back to the proceedings. The rapid beating of his heart wouldn't let him alone.
"Okey-dokey." Flint dusted off his hands as he plugged in a single power cord to a single power outlet. A large, cartoonish bomb was suspended by a crane arm over the block below. The console next to it displayed all sorts of data-streams and graphs. "I am almost done."
"Took you long enough." Suzanne folded up the newspaper that she had been reading. It was a few weeks old, but without reading the date she couldn't tell. She examined the machine and beamed proudly. "Good job, Phin, but when are we dropping this thing?"
"Patience is a virtue. I'm going to use these monitors over here-" He pointed at the graphs "-to double-check some stuff. Like whether or not this hastily constructed extra-dimensional dirty bomb will rip us to shreds or not."
"Patience is a virtue."
The size of the bomb hanging off the side of the building attracted the attention of Perry, who quickly rushed into the DEI building. He poked the elevator call button, but he had no such luck. Realizing his foes had cut the power, he slammed into the stairwell door and sprinted up the seemingly endless ascent.
After Lawrence lifted the traditional wedding veil, Heinz nervously addressed the crowd, making eye contact sporadically with the few people he knew. "Uh... uhm, I know from memory that I'm supposed to have something to say here, but, uh, I kinda showed up on short notice so I'm a bit behind on things. Good luck, I guess. Loving someone for a long time is often a difficult and time-consuming process, not to mention joint-filing taxes can be a real pain. Oh! And decorating! Man, is it hard to argue with a woman. In the case that this union ends in a horrible disaster, know that at the very least you'll probably still get something out of it to cherish for the rest of your life." He glanced at an embarrassed Vanessa for a second before looking around at the room, full of blank stares, before clearing his throat and continuing. "So, in summary, the best I can do for you is... Gee, hope it goes better than my marriage."
Vanessa's face sank as Ferb elbowed her, not even trying to hide his massive smile. She slumped over in the pew, trying to avoid any stares from sympathetic friends. Candace glared at Heinz with a barely concealed fury, but Jeremy's barely concealed grin quickly brought her down to earth again.
"I have prepared a few words, pastor..." Jeremy started.
"Doctor."
"Doctor Doofenshmirtz." He snickered. Rather than pull out a piece of paper, Jeremy had memorized his vows over the course of the past week. He met Candace's eyes directly and shot her his most roguish grin. "Candace Flynn, from the moment we met I wanted to get to know you. As soon as I got to know you, I wanted to date you. As soon as I started dating you, I wanted to kiss you, and from the moment we shared that kiss, I wanted to marry you. Spending the rest of my life with you is not something I or anyone deserve, but you chose me when you could take your pick. Anything less than complete and absolute loyalty would be an insult to your character. I love you, Candace Flynn. Until death do us part."
Candace could barely see straight. The moment was so surreal that she felt she was fumbling words and mixing ideas. "J-J-Jeremy Johnson. I, uh, I... Sorry, I'm having... trouble getting this out. It's just... a lot, you know?" Jeremy leaned forward, grabbing the rings from Coltrane and Stacy, and gingerly slipping hers' onto her finger. He opened her palm and pressed his ring into it.
"You don't have to say a word." Jeremy guided Candace's hand around his ring finger, sliding it on in a smooth motion. He quickly grabbed her by the waist, dipped her nearly to the floor, and pressed his lips to hers.
He brought her back up to the applause of their audience. She stared at him seductively for a few seconds, before slumping into his arms, unconscious. "Ah, man. I went too big on it." Jeremy chided himself, clicking his tounge. "She's all right! Carry on with celebrations!" He waved at everyone as her carried his bride off the stage, followed closely by the bridesmaids and groomsmen, leaving Heinz standing all alone on the stage.
"Well, you may now kiss the bride!" Heinz sarcastically yelled after them. Crossing his arms, his voice became a mutter. "That's what happens when you don't wait."
Ignoring Jeremy's warning, Phineas and Ferb, shadowed by Isabella, quickly ended up backstage while the rest of the wedding party socialized in the lobby. Jeremy waved at the boys as they came in. Candace was already awake, though she was a bit woozy. "Hey, new in-laws! As I said, she's alright. We'll be ready to head to the reception in a few."
Candace had a strange mixture of emotions. On one hand, she had finally married the love of her life, but on the other hand, she had made a huge fool of herself doing it.
"That was so romantic!" Isabella hugged Candace tightly. Candace coughed slightly, causing the younger girl to quickly back off. "But seriously, that was the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my entire life!" She squealed with joy as she instinctually threw herself on Candace in another hug.
"Phineas, can you get your girl off me?" Candace sputtered. Phineas grabbed Isabella's hand and lightly pulled her away from Candace. Isabella, still in a huggy mood, threw herself onto Phineas instead. He blushed slightly as he scratched the back of his neck.
"Sorry, Candace. She was right, though. This is probably going down as the most memorable wedding in our families history, for better or worse."
"Better!" Isabella insisted as she separated herself from Phineas, but only a bit.
Candace laughed, triggering a chain reaction amongst the occupants of the room, except for Ferb. He was laughing on the inside. Candace stood on her own two feet, playfully shoving her husband away. "Thanks, Isabella. And you guys really pulled it together, even if I could criticize your choice of minister."
"Choice isn't the word I would use." Ferb intoned. It was at this moment that Vanessa Doofenshmirtz burst into the room. Baljeet stumbled in after her.
"Ferb! Phineas! I was looking for you!" She practically tripped over herself. "Did you guys see what was outside?" She pointed out the door.
"Outside?" Phineas inquired, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up.
"It looks like some kind of... Explosive!" Baljeet fumbled. "Right outside!"
A wave of terror washed over the room.
"Okay, so for sure it's not gonna rip us to shreds." Flint grinned.
"Fire at will, first mate!" Suzanne stood up and preformed a mock salute from atop the couch.
He pushed the big red button. "It would be my pleasure."
Perry the Platypus burst through the door-
And the world went white.
Phineas and Ferb's Stranger Summer had only really just begun.
A/N: Another chapter down! I have decided to just call this the end of Part 1. Part 2 will be going up on the same schedule, hopefully, and will be a lot looser in the plot structure adhering to the AB plot of the show.
Next Time:
Stranger Summer Part 2 - Phineas and Ferb's Dimensional Disaster
Higher Stakes! Higher Pressure! The universe as they know it has been shaken to it's core!