Chapter 24: Shattered

I wanted to care about what MedCorp was up to and get some answers, but I just couldn't focus on much of anything until I knew Anni was safe. School was pure hell. I couldn't concentrate in class, I was too busy waiting for a text or call from Dad, Ko, or even Anni, letting me know everything was alright. It had to be okay. Everything had always worked out before. They would find her and then I could tell her about being adopted, how anxious I was about talking to Dad about it, how if I ever met Jason, I didn't know what I would do. How angry I was at Victoria for not saying anything when we met. I needed my best friend so badly.

"Are you okay Jay?" Dana asked me at lunch.

"What?" I looked up from poking at my mac n' cheese. Dana, Max, Chelsea, and Terry were all looking at me with concern.

"You seem kinda down today. Is something wrong?" Dana tried again.

"I've had a rough week. I'll be fine." I lied. Dana and Chelsea looked at each other and Max frowned at me.

"If you'll be fine, then why won't you tell us where you were Wednesday?" Max pried. I looked down at my food, debating if I should tell them everything, or nothing.

"Leave her alone. She'll tells us if she wants to." Terry spoke up. I looked at him, confused. Did he know about Anni? No, he couldn't have. Unless Dad told Bruce, and Bruce told Terry, but that didn't seem right. He knew something though. Yesterday he was questioning me, just like everyone else, and now he was defending me. He pulled out his phone and a minute later I got a text.

Bruce told me about you and Jason.

He knew I was adopted. Of course that's what he knew. Anni missing was really slagging me up.

"It's okay Terry. They'll know eventually." I gave him a small smile.

"Are you sure?"

"What's going on?" Chelsea interrupted.

"I found out who my mother is." I started, "But that's not all. I've met her before and she said nothing to me. And she kept me for a year before dumping me onto my dad." That was all I was going to say. If any of them knew about Jason's death like Ko did, then it was easier to leave him out of the story than to explain he was a living dead man.

"That's rough Jay." Dana comforted. If only they knew.

"So who is she?" Max asked.

"Ever heard of MedCorp? The medical company?" They nodded. "Their CEO, Victoria Rogers, is my mother, apparently." I explained.

"Does it really bother you that much?" Chelsea asked.

"I just have a lot of questions more than anything. Like why not put me in foster care instead of hunting down my father? Or did she know I was her daughter when we met? Why was my dad so against telling me about her? It's a lot to process." I summarized. Not that I care about Victoria at the moment.

"How did you find out?" Max asked.

"I found my birth certificate while moving. Dad didn't know I had one. I found out most of what happened from my Aunt and Uncle. Turns out I'm the product of a night spent in Mexico. Mommy dearest is Hispanic, which explains a lot."

"Are you going to talk to her?" Terry asked.

"I don't know why I should. Besides, I have more important things to worry about." I stood up and grabbed my untouched lunch tray. "I have some English homework to finish, so I'll see you all in class. Terry, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked.

"Um sure, hang on. " He finished last bit of his lunch and followed me.

"What's really wrong?" He asked as soon as we were in the hallway. I deflated.

"My friend Anni is missing." I slumped against some lockers. "And there's not a damned thing I can do to help. It's killing me." I slid down to the floor. He sat down next to me.

"She's the one who's dad escaped prison, right?"

"Yeah. I have a favor to ask you."

"I can't look for her. New York is outside my jurisdiction."

"No, not that. I know your close to nailing Powers for your dad's murder, I wouldn't ask you to drop that. But could you keep an ear out for anything about human trafficking, please. Especially about a pretty blond." He looked at me in surprise.

"You think she was kidnapped?"

"Not exactly. Her dad was is prison because because he was part of a trafficking ring. And we both know Gotham is a prime spot for crimes like that. I brought this up to my dad last night, but he doesn't think Anni's dad would do that to her. Just tell me if you hear anything, and I'll take care of it."

"How? You gonna fight off a trafficking gang by yourself?" He asked skeptically.

"If that's what it takes to get Anni back, then yes. I've know her since we were three. She's my sister in every way but blood. Wouldn't you do anything to save Matt?" I reasoned.

"Yeah, but Jamie, you should let the police handle it. Your safety is just as important as your friend's."

"I know! But I can't do nothing! It's eating away at me! I feel so useless! I have the world's greatest detective's resources at my disposal at there's still not a damn thing I can do to save my best friend! All because I was wrapped in self pity because my father didn't tell me I was adopted! I knew something was wrong when she called me, but I ignored it. How am I supposed to live with myself?" I rested my head in my hands.

"You have to-" Terry was interrupted by the lunch bell. We stood up as students poured out of the cafeteria.

"We can talk tonight if you want." Terry offered.

"Sure, just find me after you're done with Bruce."

"Why don't come down to the ca- oh right, you're grounded. I guess I'll find you." He said as we came to his locker.

"Sounds good." I agreed.

When I was called to Nakamura's office in the middle of English, I was annoyed. I had more important things to worry about than Nakamura's stupid rules. As I walked there, I wondered what I could have possibly done to get in trouble. I was too worried about Anni to really do anything wrong. I walked into the office to see Nakamura talking to a secretary.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked him.

"Jamie, please step into my office." He said kindly. Weird, he was never this nice to me. I did as he asked and he closed the door behind me without coming in. I turned to take a seat but stopped when I saw Dad standing there.

He had such a sorrowful look. I knew that look. I had seen that look when a case had gone horribly wrong and he had failed to save someone. I felt an agonizing sense of despair fill my stomach that made my whole being shake. He didn't say a word, but I knew.

"NO! GOD NO!" I screamed, eyes filled with tears. I collapsed onto the floor as violent sobs wracked my body. I felt Dad next to me and he pulled me into his lap. He held me as I sobbed into his chest. "Please Daddy! No! No! NO! It can't be true. Please Daddy! Tell me she's not dead!" I clung to him.

"I'm sorry, sweet-heart." His own voice cracked with emotion. "We were too late. The coroner said they had been gone for a few days when we found them. It was a murder-suicide." Dad was crying now too.

"Please, no." I cried repeatedly. This had to be another nightmare. I'd wake up and Anni would be safe. This would all be over if I could just wake up! I focused on waking up until I felt something wet on my head. I looked up to see Dad crying. That's when reality hit me full force. This wasn't a dream, I was already awake. Anni was dead, and I would never be okay again. I cried even harder after that.

We sat there on the floor, holding each other until the bell rang for the next class.

"I left my stuff in English." I sniffled and stood up.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He offered.

"I'll be fine." I lied. I didn't know if I would even make to the hall without crying again.

I did manage to make to class with minimal crying. As I was walking back to the office, I passed Terry on his way out.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Bruce wants me to take him to a Wayne-Powers meeting today. Powers is making some announcement."

"Wonder why. By the way, you can forget about what we talked about at lunch. It doesn't matter anymore." I teared up.

"They found her." The look of pity he gave me sent me over the edge.

"Yeah." I was rapidly wiping away tears. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize." He hugged me. "I'll stop by after patrol tonight to check on you."

"You don't have to. My dad is in town. I doubt he'll let me out of his sight tonight."

"You're my friend Jamie. I want to make sure you're okay. Is it alright if I tell Dana and Max?" he asked.

"Sure. I don't care. I've got to go." I pulled away.

It felt surreal. Like everything was happening to someone else and I was stuck inside their body, helpless to anything but watch as their world shattered. I hardly realized when I made it back to the manor, or when Ace started following me. Was it normal to go through multiple stages of grief so fast? I should've called Ko, but I knew the second I heard her voice, reality would hit me full force again. And I wanted to feel detached. Feeling nothing was easier than admitting this was my fault.

Something else was bothering me about the situation though. No one believed Michelson would hurt Anni. He was mentally stable according to the psych evaluation the prisoners had to go through, (thank you Bat-computer.) He was too smart to fake sanity. He would more likely bide his time until he could escape, which is what he must've done. Nothing in his normal behavior would lead to him killing his loyal daughter, let alone himself. But his strange mood changes would have. Something was off and it made the situation more heartbreaking to me.

I hadn't paid much attention to what I was doing until I heard Ace give a low whine. I looked around me, and found myself outside on one of the cliffs near the manor. My toes were over the edge. Any farther and I would have fell into the ocean below. Was I really that upset? Enough that my own life wasn't a concern? I back away from the edge hurriedly. I sat down on the ground and pulled my knees to my chest. The tears started again and wouldn't stop. Ace stayed with me, letting me hug and cry on him for God knows how long.

I cried for Jake, who would never get to see his sister again. For her mom and my dad, who both had lost a daughter. For Ko, who lost the most understanding person in her life. For the world that had become so much darker without her.

I cried for myself. For loosing my sister. For not being there for her when she needed me. For not speaking up when she told me about her father. For keeping secrets from her. For taking the most important person in my life for granted. I cried because I hated myself for getting expelled and sent to Gotham, away from everyone I loved.

I especially cried for Anni. I hated myself for doing to nothing help find Anni. I hated that I kept letting people down. I hated that my best friend was murdered. I cried because I hated that everything was so unfair in Anni's life. She deserved so much better, but she almost always carried on with a smile. She would never get to fulfill her dreams of helping people and that broke my heart more than anything. Such a kind and caring person didn't deserve to die that way.

I cried long after the sun set, and snow started falling. I stayed on that cliff even though I was cold and tired. I cried until I passed out from exhaustion. I didn't care anymore. If I froze to death at least I would see Anni again.

If you really want to break your heart, read this chapter while listening to sad music.

I couldn't get through this without crying while I wrote and edited it. This chapter is the main reason I wrote this story. It's very much my grieving process. Let me know if this made you cry too.

Fun Fact: Jamie misses Alfred a lot. Whenever she visited the manor as kid, she would make peanut butter cookies with Alfred. Which is why peanut butter cookies are her favorite.