Chapter 25: Stand Still

Ace wouldn't let me freeze to death, his constant whining and tugging on my coat annoyed me enough to go inside. Even then he wouldn't leave me alone.

He followed me all the way to my room and curled up on the bed with me. He ignored Bruce when he called for Ace. We sat in dark silence for what felt like hours.

There was an eventual knock on my door and Dad came in wordlessly. He sat down on the bed and wrapped me in his arms, silently stroking my hair, like he used to do when I was little.

"Tell me what happened." I said after a few minutes. My voice was hoarse from crying.

"Are you sure? It can wait a little longer."

"No, I need to know, no matter how bad it is." I said with more resolve. He tightened his arms around me.

"They were found in a warehouse in Brooklyn early this morning. From looks of it, Eric shot Anni twice and then slit his own throat." Dad said slowly. That was... strange.

"Why wouldn't he just use the gun on himself?" I asked.

"I don't know. He was clearly more disturbed than anyone knew." Dad sighed. We fell into silence.

"Did she... did Anni suffer?" I barely whispered. He was quiet for so long, I started to wonder if he had heard me.

"Preliminary report said she most likely bled out from her injuries. One in the shoulder and another in the stomach."

She hadn't even had the mercy of a painless death. She had died slowly in a random warehouse, alone with her demented father. All because she was too damn loyal. Loyal and lonely. It hurt that she couldn't see how many people cared about her, that she couldn't see she would have been so much better off without her father.

I hadn't realized how angry I was until I felt my nails digging into my palm. I couldn't really be angry at Anni. If Dad was ever in prison, I couldn't say I wouldn't be just as loyal and hopeful as Anni was.

"When do we go home?" I asked, trying to focus on something else.

"Tomorrow. Once Anni is released from the coroner, Shelly can set a date for the funeral. She asked if you could help."

"She did?" Anni's mother never really liked me, I always had a way of getting her daughter into mischief with me. That didn't sit well with a by the book woman like Shelly Michelson.

"You're an important part of Anni's life. Shelly recognizes that, even if she's not that fond of you. It's ultimately up to you though."

"I'll do it." I said quietly. It was the least I could do after failing to be there for Anni in her last days.

"I'm sorry for your loss." an old lady told Jake.

"Thank you," he said solemnly. I squeezed his hand in an attempt to be comforting. It was only a half hour into the visitation and we were both drained. Mrs. Michelson wasn't doing much better. I could see her staring blankly ahead as some man spoke to her. Anni's grandfather was next to her, looking like he was holding his daughter on her feet.

"I'm going to get your mom a chair, okay." I squeezed Jake's hand again.

I was in the foyer of the funeral home when Ko and Sobo arrived. Ko and I locked eyes, and then we were hugging each other tightly, both sobbing. We wouldn't let go of each other, even after we both stopped crying. The loss hurt too much.

"I can't go in there. I'm not strong enough to see her in a casket." Ko whispered into my shoulder.

"She's not here. The casket is closed and empty. Her body was too far gone by the time they found her. Mrs. Michelson is having her cremated." I sighed. Ko slumped against me.

"Thank god." She stood up straight, wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. "Here we go," and she headed into the viewing room. I grabbed a chair and followed after her.

I left the chair with Mrs. Michelson and went to find Ko or Jake. As I was looking, I overheard two men talking.

"I swear it's the truth. They found somethin' inside Michelson's body. That's why only sweet Anni is havin' a funeral now. The coroner ain't done with her daddy."

"I don't know, Joey. He was a prisoner. Maybe no one wanted to claim the rights to him. Happens all the time, you know that," The other guy said.

"Then how come he hasn't come back to the prison yet? I'm tellin' ya Henry, something strange was goin' on with Michelson. Even before he escaped, he was havin' them strange mood changes." Joey claimed.

"But what could they have found that would cause that? It doesn't add up."

"Dunno, but it's gotta be somethin' for the autopsy to be takin' so long." Joey shrugged.

I managed a side glance at them and recognized Henry as the guard from the last time Anni and I went to the prison. I quickly went back to searching for Ko before either noticed me.

Their conversation bothered me. So the mood swings were unnatural. I guess that would make sense, since all his psych and med exams came back normal. But what the hell could cause someone act so radically different? I would have to do some digging when I got back to Gotham and the Bat-computer.

The rest of the visitation was a blur of people I didn't know, or knew well enough that they didn't give a shit at all about Anni. By the time I got home, I was too tired to feel anything but numb.

"Time to get... oh, you're up." Dad came into my room the morning of the funeral.

"I couldn't sleep." I continued to stare out the window, at the sleet washing the world outside. Fitting weather for how I felt. I could feel his eyes on me.

"You didn't even try." He stated, noticing I was in the same dress from the visitation.

"How could I? For the past week, it's been nightmares. Every time I close my eyes, there's Anni slowly dying. I can't take it anymore." I teared up.

"How can the world keep going when she's gone? It's not fair!" I cried. "How am I supposed to live with myself? How can I be expected to do anything when Anni is gone?" I curled up into myself. He sat down on the bed next to me.

"You don't have to." he put his hand on my back, "I don't expect you to, either. You need to grieve. That's most important right now."

"I'm not sure I can even do that. I can't do anything because Anni isn't here, experiencing life. I just...can't" I curled up tighter.

"You will. And unfortunately, it never stops. It doesn't hurt less either, you just learn to live with better."

"That doesn't make me feel better." I mumbled. He patted my back.

"It's not supposed to. I'm not going lie to you. Not anymore."

"Do you still grieve for them?" I asked quietly.

"Everyday. And for so many besides them. Even the ones who have come back."

"I'm not ready to say goodbye." I whimpered. Dad pulled me into a hug.

"Me neither, sweetheart."

"Anni liked to believe in the best of people. She was a light in the darkness to those around her, ever the optimist in a world set against her. Anni was my best friend and a sister. I've known her most of my life. And in these fourteen years, one memory will always standout to me.

"We were about 13 and spending the day wandering the city. We passed the famous Riverside Church at one point. She stopped to admire it and then turned to me, and I'll never forget what she said. 'One day, I'm going to change the world enough to speak there.'

'How you gonna do that?' I had asked her. She smiled like she had a secret and there was sparkle in her eye.

'You'll see.'

Anni never lost hope in the goodness of people. And she never let her light diminish. While she didn't get to speak and change the world the way she wanted to, she changed the world for the ones who's path she crossed. And for that, I will always thank her."

The sound of glass shattering filled the air as a old beer bottle burst into pieces.

"Argh!" I screamed as I hurled another rock. It hit it's mark and more glass shattered.

"Nice aim." I jumped at the voice. I hadn't heard anyone come up to the roof. I turned around an found Jonah still in his suit from the funeral.

"How did you get here?" I asked, chucking a rock at the last bottle. It shattered into a rain of glass.

"An Asian lady said you were up here." he shrugged.

"That would be Aunt Cass. But I meant, how did you know where I lived?"

"I've walked Anni here after school a lot." He chuckled, "I thought this was her place until she told me it was your's."

I smiled a little at that. "She was probably here just as much as me."

"She really loved it up here." He gestured to the roof, "I've heard so many stories about you two, especially on this roof. She was quite the story teller." He sat on the edge of the roof, legs dangling freely in the winter air. I sat down next to him.

"I miss her," he sighed. "It's like a hole is where she used to be, and it feels like its starting to suck in everything other part of my life into it."

If I hadn't been experiencing the same feelings, I would have made fun of him for sounding so cheesy. No wonder Anni liked him so much.

"You loved her, didn't you?" I observed. He nodded.

"I know I'd never come close to the relationship you two have-had- but she was my best friend too. I came here to tell you that even if she didn't change the world like she wanted, she did change the world for everyone she met. She changed enough lives to make the world better. I came to let you know that." he stood up and headed for the door.

"Jonah," I called after him. He stopped. "I hope you know, that for the small amount if time you were in it, you brightened Anni's world too. Thank you for that." I smiled at him. He smiled back and then he was gone.

Saying good-bye to Anni was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and hurt more than anything ever had. But maybe it would hurt a little less if I took a lesson from Anni and changed lives too.

I'm sorry it has been way too long since I've updated. I went to boot camp and then Tech training. But I'm back and have internet again!

Fun Fact: the Riverside Church is famous for having people like Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesse Jackson as speakers there.