I promise I'll keep writing this, but I'm so torn after seeing 3x18. I love all the characters so much but they're all breaking my heart right now. I can't really deal with any of the ships right now so this chapter is mostly Glassman being a good president, mentor, and friend. I can understand the residents not having much of an input on Audrey and Neil's relationship, but I've always felt like they could have asked for advice from people who have known them for longer, like Glassman. Also, I'm a little angry at Melendez right now.
Audrey was the first to wake up the next morning and lay there with her eyes closed, replaying the events of the previous night in her head. After agreeing that they should at least update Glassman about their relationship (though Aaron clearly already knew), they'd discovered neither had had much in the way of food other than canapés at the gala. Audrey had suggested burgers before they had somehow ended back at his place, once again in bed.
Audrey kept her eyes closed as she became aware of the rise and fall of his chest underneath her head, his arm resting heavily around her waist and the light snoring telling her he was still asleep. She couldn't keep herself from smiling at how lucky she felt to be back here, enjoying some moments of peace in the arms of the man she loved. She let herself imagine doing this for the rest of her life, waking up next to Neil and feeling loved, and her smile widened into a grin.
If only life could be so simple. Her concerns about their relationship and the obstacles in their way slowly found their way back into her train of thought and suddenly, she was regretting everything from the night before. Their relationship had been a stupid idea the first time, and she had all the reasons to prove it, so why had she let herself agree to round 2? A sense of dread spread through her chest as Audrey thought about all the things she'd have to face – talking to Aaron about her personal life; sitting through an awkward session with that humorless, judgemental woman from HR; pretending not to notice the nurses gossiping.
She slowly opened her eyes and shifted slightly to get a better look at the source of all her current problems. Neil slept so peacefully, the faintest of smiles on his lips, and looking at how content he was, Audrey resolved not to be the one to take it away from him. She couldn't let her own anxieties break them again. She was Audrey Lim for God's sake! She'd gotten this far in life without letting anything get in the way of what she wanted, why should this be any different?
Having committed to trying to let go of her fears about their relationship, Audrey decided to carefully free herself from Neil's embrace and get the coffee machine started. She'd only just finished thinking about coffee when she felt Neil's arm tighten around her waist, pulling her back towards him. He buried his nose in her hair, enjoying the faint smell of his sheets mingling with the sweet scent he'd come to associate with Audrey.
"How long do you plan on watching me sleep?" he asked with a grin, pulling back to catch the flustered surprise on her face.
"Well, you were clearly not asleep," Audrey argued, scrambling to cover her embarrassment at being caught doing something so sappy and uncool, "So you can't say I was watching you sleep." She quickly pulled herself out from under his arm before he could react and hopped out of bed.
"But you didn't know that," Neil teased, sitting up to watch her as she slipped on his discarded shirt and crossed the room to the door.
"I'm going to make some coffee," she said while slipping out the door, before poking her head back in the room and adding with a barely-contained smile, "And you're not getting any unless you drop this."
Neil laughed, "Yes ma'am."
They walked into the hospital that morning together, ignoring the hushed whispers that seemed to follow. Audrey had resigned herself to the fact there was no avoiding the gossip when Neil pointed out to her that enough people would have seen them making out in the rain the previous night. She'd wanted the both of them to talk to Glassman first thing in the morning but Neil had a surgery scheduled during the time she had managed to arrange a meeting.
"Are you sure you don't want to wait till we have time to talk to him together," Neil asked her gently, stopping her before they parted ways to give her the opportunity to avoid facing Glassman today.
"No," Audrey replied resolutely, "Even if he already knows – God knows what he's already heard from the nurses – I want to tell him myself and make sure he's fine with it." When Neil opened his mouth to protest, she quickly added, "I know he'll probably be fine with it, our fight is with HR, but it's the polite thing to do – he is the President, after all."
Neil smiled at her, grateful for being able to love such a strong, determined woman, and gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. "Better you than me," he said with a mischievous grin before heading off to see his patient.
"Don't think you're off the hook," Audrey said with a laugh, making him turn back, "I'm sure Glassman will squeeze in a chat with you at some point."
"I'm sorry to bother you, Dr. Glassman" Audrey said as she took the seat Glassman had offered, facing him across his desk and giving him a nervous smile.
"It's no problem," Aaron replied reassuringly, "I'm always here for my Chief of Surgery."
"Debbie told me you were supposed to grab breakfast together," Audrey said, recalling the time Debbie had bluntly told her she needed to leave so Glassman could get back to his patients, "She didn't seem too pleased to see me."
"She'll be fine. I'll just make sure to schedule a time for lunch with her," Aaron said, again in his reassuring manner.
Audrey nodded, not sure how to launch into the reason she'd requested the meeting. "So … there's something I wanted to talk to you about," she finally said, deciding it was probably best to just cut to the chase.
Aaron nodded, "I think I have some idea of what you want to tell me."
Audrey took a deep breath. Even though she was fairly certain her news wouldn't come as a shock to Glassman, this was a man who had been her boss and her mentor for nearly a decade, and talking about her personal life to him never came naturally. "Neil and I have decided to ..." Audrey began, trailing off as she tried to find the right words to describe what exactly they'd decided to do.
"Give love another chance?" Aaron asked with a smile, completing her sentence for her. Audrey nodded silently so Aaron continued, "You two were involved with each other before and I had no objections with it then so I can't think of any reason to have any issues with it now. But from your look of concern, I'm assuming there's more you want to discuss with me?"
"I want to make sure our relationship doesn't affect our work again," Audrey said determinedly, "That's why I want to ask if you can—"
"Dr. Lim," Aaron interrupted, "I said it before and I'll say it again – You're my Chief of Surgery, and I trust your judgment. That includes trusting your objectivity, even when it comes to working with Dr. Melendez." Sensing that there was no arguing with him, Audrey nodded and stood up to leave, offering a brief thanks to Aaron for his time.
"Audrey," Aaron said, stopping her as she reached the door, "If it makes you feel better, I'll keep an eye on Neil's surgeries, but I'm confident that you'll continue to exceed my expectations as the head of that department." Audrey nodded thankfully while Aaron paused to draw breath, "I don't know what Neil has done or said to you, but don't let him make you doubt yourself. I've watched you become the surgeon you are today, and your confidence in yourself has never been misplaced."
Audrey offered a grateful smile and shut the door behind her.
Neil had just sat down at his desk with a sandwich, having finally found time for a quick lunch, when Glassman knocked on his glass door and invited himself in. Turns out Audrey had been right – Glassman really had found the time to seek Neil out.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Aaron said, glancing at the sandwich that Neil had just put back on its plate and taking a seat, "This isn't anything serious. Feel free to keep eating."
"The President of the hospital has come all the way to see me," Neil said, pushing the sandwich to the side, "I'm sure it's not nothing."
"Well, I'm not here as the President," Aaron offered, gesturing at the sandwich and waiting for Neil to resume his lunch, "Audrey came to see me this morning, as I'm sure you know." Neil nodded, mumbling something in affirmation.
Aaron paused to consider for the last time whether he should be meddling in the lives of his surgeons before continuing, "I've watched the both of you become the people you are today, I've seen you struggle through your internships and residencies, and I was there when you finally found success in this hospital. You were very lucky to have Audrey come through the residency program with you. She's always been a brilliant doctor and you were always trying to outcompete her. I'd wager a bet that she's part of the reason you're as good as you are today."
Neil smiled nostalgically, recalling their days as residents. "She was so smart, it made her quite a pain to be around," he chuckled.
Aaron nodded in understanding, "I'm saying this as a mentor, and as a friend – if you consider me to be one, and I'm happy for you, the both of you, truly."
Neil could hear the 'but …' coming and gave him a quizzical look when Aaron paused again. "But that ego of yours, which produced such a constructively competitive partnership between colleagues, could just as easily hurt you both in this relationship," Aaron finished in a solemn tone.
Neil stared, speechless as Aaron tried to explain his words, "We were both there to witness the breakdown of Audrey's marriage, and we both saw how much that affected her, so you must know that she's not as stoic as she likes to pretend she is. Mind that you don't let your ego and competitive streak make you forget this about her – she's not just your boss and competitor, she's also someone you can seriously hurt."
Aaron's warning reminded Neil of his words to Audrey after the death of Patty Fields. "You're not objective about me … because of our relationship." Until now, he hadn't fully considered how much he had hurt Audrey with his doubts and accusations.
With a heavy heart, Neil promised, "I'll try my best to remember."
As Aaron stood up to leave him to finish his lunch, Neil added, "Thank you, Aaron, for looking out for her."