Chapter 35: Backlash

Since I had some time, I took a chance to work on modifications to the suit. I even got Terry to snag me a spare suit that I could practice on. Some of the mods were little things, like reinforcing the arms so I wouldn't dislocate my shoulder again. Others were a little more in-depth, like upgrading the vitals monitoring system. I also made a purple bat-symbol out of kevlar and sowed it on to the spare. It looked like a cross between the Nightwing and Red Hood symbols, which was kind of ironic. Okay, very ironic.

"Why have a symbol at all?" Max asked when I showed her.

"No reason. I was just bored," I shrugged, putting the spare suit back in it's hiding spot.

"Jamie, you're too goal oriented for that. If you were bored, you'd read."

"That's not my only hobby," I protested.

"It's the most accessible hobby to you right now," She countered, "So, why did you really do it?"

"I don't know. Maybe deep, deep down in my subconscious, I want to be a part of the Batman legacy too. And if, that is the case, is that so wrong?" I sighed.

"Nothing is wrong with it, but there's ways you can be a part of it without tearing yourself apart. Your shoulder is still healing," She reminded me.

"I know that. But I've been working on the suit so that doesn't happen again." I lay on my bed.

"That just brings up my original question. Why go to all that trouble of modding the suit if you're only gonna use it one more time? At the same time, you keep finding excuses to put the suit back on. You're not fooling anyone," Max sat next to me on the bed.

"Because I like to tinker. Its fun for me. That's why so many people think I'd do good in robotics. I'm starting to agree."

"It's more than that. I've seen old vids of the Red Hood. Your symbol looks similar to one of his. You're trying to get his attention, aren't you?"

"No! I couldn't care less about Jason. He abandoned me just like Victoria did. I have a dad who loves me more than either of those two ever could," I protested.

"Jamie, don't lie to me," she reprimanded, "Subconsciously or not, you want Jason to acknowledge you. That's why you're struggling to give up Shadow. For whatever reason, you want him involved in your life. What about your actual dad, the one who raised you? His should be the only 'legacy' you should be concerned about."

"What's out there saying Shadow can't carry on Nightwing's legacy? His symbol is there too," I argued.

"Nothing, except you constantly saying you're done after one more night."

"You make it sound like I'm in a bad relationship," I laughed. Max didn't find it funny.

"It's true though. You indecisiveness is unhealthy. I'll stay with you no matter what you choose, but I can't keep watching you lie to yourself. Until you make up your mind about Shadow, I'm out," She stood up, "When you finally decide, I'll be there for you," and then she left.

She was right about everything, as usual. Did I really want to continue Shadow, even after San Francisco? That was never the plan. Being a superhero was too unsatisfying to me, a belief I had held even before I had learned about Batman. On the other hand, it had made it indefinitely easier to get the information I needed on MedCorp and Victoria. It made easier to go against an opponent who wouldn't play by the rules. The longer my investigation went, the more I understood why Bruce had started Batman. I understood what drove Dad to become Robin. It was the same need for closure I longed for with Anni.

I had a choice to make. And I was pretty sure I knew my decision. It was just all dependent on what happened in San Francisco. It was time to stop lying to myself.

He will suffer if he is sorry for his victim. Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness-

"Dear god this book," I muttered. Crime and Punishment was a punishment to read. Why did I take advanced English? There was a knock on my bedroom door, pulling out of my homework.

"Come in," I assumed it was Dad, because who else would it be? "I'm up here," I called from the loft before he could ask. I heard the familiar thump of a cane hitting the floor. That could only mean one person. I got up and practically flew down the ladder from the loft.

"Hi Bruce, what brings you here? To my room, which is a complete disaster," I rambled, quickly kicking a bra under my bed.

"I talked to some people about your recommendation letter," It was then I noticed he had a manila envelope in his hand, "One wrote it already, but the other wants to meet you."

In an effort to keep up the idea I was interested in Stanford, I had asked Bruce if he knew anyone who could give me a letter of recommendation for my application. He said he'd work on it, and that was the last I had heard. Until now.

"Meet me? Why?"

"He said he does that with anyone who asks for a letter," Bruce said.

"Who exactly did you ask?" I asked, picking up clothes around my room, trying to make it less of an embarrassment.

"Luke Fox," He said causally. I almost tripped over my feet. I looked at him in shock.

"Lucas Fox! Owner of FoxTecha? One of the most revolutionary minds in technology ever? That Luke Fox?" I nearly screeched. God Jamie, fan-girl much?

"Yes," Bruce was unfazed by my reaction. Shocker.

"How?"

"I've know him since he was little. His father and I worked very closely. Lucius was CEO of Wayne Enterprises for years. He helped out with Batman from the beginning. Luke eventually got involved too."

"Of course," I rolled my eyes, "Is there anyone influential in Gotham who wasn't involved with Batman?" I huffed and sat on my couch. Bruce stood in front of me.

"How's your shoulder?" He asked.

"It's better. I'd say in about another-" Wait. How the hell did he know about my shoulder? "McGinnis," I growled.

"It was you. Your mask recording was sent to the cave. You forgot to remove the cave from the list of file locations. Next time you want to sneak out, make sure you hide it better."

Shit. "You've known this whole time what I did, but you're just now coming to me?"

"I was convinced you were done with this after getting answers from your mother. Until you had a sudden interest in Stanford. Which isn't that far from MedCorp Headquarters," Bruce gave me a disapproving look.

"I have an actual interest in their robotics program," I was such a liar, "regardless of where it's located. Stanford isn't the only school I'm applying to." I argued.

"Berkeley is also relatively close to San Francisco."

How the hell does he learn these things? I hadn't even said anything about Berkeley to anyone.

"Why are you really here?" I ignored the Berkeley comment, "You never have interest in anything I do outside of Batman," I accused, jumping up. We both had known that for awhile, but now that it was out in the open, I just felt awkward.

"I think you know why I'm here."

"I'll repeat my earlier question, why confront me about it now?"

"I was giving you a chance to do the right thing. Barbara told me she talked to you."

"You think what I'm trying to do isn't the right thing?"

"I never said that. I think the way you're trying to do the right thing is wrong."

"Like you have room to talk!" I shouted. "Tell me how Shadow and Batman are different. Tell me!"

"We're trying to protect you from becoming like Batman," He said calmly.

"What about Terry? Who's protecting him from ending up like Batman? Because it sure as hell isn't you!"

"Terry is different than you." He bit out. Oh? I struck a nerve. Good.

"How? How is what Terry did with Powers any different than what I'm trying to do with Victoria?"

"Shadow isn't needed. Batman is." He was lying. If that were true, Robin, Batgirl, Nightwing etc., never would've existed. Bruce was just to stubborn to admit more heroes was a good thing. He would never let Terry go after this case. And I'd be damned if anyone else got to.

"How can you say that when I keep proving you wrong? We both know the cops won't do anything. Victoria will just keep paying them off. God knows what other connections she has. How do you expect me to sit back and not do anything? I can't do that. I won't." I stood directly in front of him. I refused to let anyone stop me from seeing this through. Especially someone as detached as Bruce.

"And you think you're going to be the one to stop her? With what resources? I'm taking the suit back."

"There it is! Finally got to the real reason you're here! About damn time!" I stormed over to my closet and grabbed the suit, leaving the spare. If he didn't ask for it, he wouldn't get it.

"Here!" I chucked it at him. He caught it with ease and looked it over. Seemingly satisfied, he headed towards the door.

"Just tell me one thing," I said calmer now, effectively stopping him. He kept his back to me, "Would the justice Anni deserves ever be achieved if I wasn't Shadow?"

The question hung in the air for far too long before he walked out the door. His silence was all the answer I needed.

Happy Spoopy Day! Sorry it's been a bit since last chapter. I took vacation and it was a much needed break.

So Jamie has learned to set up her own contingencies. Do you think Max is right about Jamie trying to get Jason's attention?

Fun Fact: Jamie's original symbol idea was going to be an outline of a bat on the suit, like Cass' batgirl. but her patience isn't the best for sowing.